Sister's Choice (11 page)

For a moment Jamie didn’t understand; then she realized she’d thrown dogs into the story. “No, but if they do, I promise I’ll shoo them away.”

She leaned over and kissed both girls again. “When the weather gets cold, sometime after Christmas, in fact, you two will have cousins. Won’t that be cool?”

“They will need to learn things,” Hannah said. “We might need a list.”

“You can start one tomorrow.”

She said good night again, and this time nobody stopped her. By the time Jamie got to the door, Alison’s eyes were closed and Hannah was staring at the ceiling, trying to put everything into some sort of framework. Jamie knew her daughter well. By morning Hannah would have sorted out at least some of it.

She switched on the night light and turned off the lamp, closing the door softly behind her. Then she stood with her back to it and closed her eyes.

“I don’t want to scare you, but when you open those eyes, you’re going to see me standing here,” Cash said.

Her eyelids flew open. “Thanks for the warning.”

“I came in to get some more coffee. That was a while ago.”

She knew what he was telling her. “You heard the story?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t really eavesdropping. I didn’t know it was going to be a lesson on the birds and the bees.”

“Ducks and eggs and hatching.” She was suddenly tired. She wondered if it was the long day, the pregnancy or simply knowing that Cash was probably going to walk out the door in a minute and not return. She had no plans for a fling. She was past wanting that with anyone, and was not exactly in the best of shape for one, anyway. But having a friend would have been great.

“I’ll assume you’re not drinking coffee with me, considering everything,” he said.

“You’re probably ready to leave.”

He smiled. His eyes were warm. “I
meant
that you’re not drinking coffee because of the babies. Not because I’m leaving. I saw lemonade in the refrigerator. There’s a breeze on the porch, but you might like something cool to take out there with you.”

“That would be nice. I would.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a long day. You go sit, and I’ll get it and be out in a minute.”

She did just that. The moment she felt the seat under her, she felt as if she was dissolving, melting into the plaid seat cushion to be scraped off like candle wax. She knew better than to close her eyes. She kept them open but was still afraid she was going to fall asleep.

She must have, too, because she didn’t hear Cash return, only felt him slide onto the seat beside her. She turned to smile at him, taking the lemonade out of his hand. “This is nice. Thanks.”

“Were you going to tell me about the pregnancy before you got as big as a house?”

“That was one of the reasons I invited you tonight. We had the first ultrasound today and saw two babies. Now it’s real. Up until now, it’s been black magic.”

“Whew.” He shook his head. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

The lemonade was real, and now she was glad she’d taken the time to squeeze lemons and sweeten it to her taste. She drank half of it before she spoke again.

“Have you ever seen the way Kendra and Isaac look at my girls?”

Cash sat back, shifting so he could see her better. “Not so I’ve noticed.”

“It’s a little like somebody who’s never had enough to eat watching guests at a banquet. They adore Hannah and Alison and always will. But there’s more to it than that. They’re so hungry for more than just nieces. They want children in their lives. Every day.
Their children
.”

“I don’t mean to be nosy, but aren’t there easier ways that don’t involve
you
spending nine months of morning sickness and what all? I’m under the impression there are a lot of children in the world who need a home and family.”

“Isaac’s an adopted child. Most adoptions work out great, but his experience was gruesome. Even though he knows things would be different if
he
adopted, the baggage he would bring to it worries him too much.”

“I suppose that make sense.”

“These aren’t my babies in any way. We did in vitro. The babies were conceived without me. I’m simply the carrier.”

“Not so simply, I wouldn’t think. Complicated to the extreme.”

“I’m just glad I can do it. It’s only nine months of my life, and it’s not like I’m giving up everything else. Maybe I’m pregnant, but I’ll continue taking care of my girls, working on some projects for my degree, figuring out what I want to do and where I want to go when I graduate. I won’t be sitting around counting the days and the kicks.”

“Sister Duck felt real good about those little ducklings swimming off after their mama.”

“Okay, that’s a fairy tale, and this is real life. I know the difference.”

“It was a good way to tell your girls.”

Until she relaxed, she hadn’t realized she was tense. Cash had accepted her decision for what it was. If anything, he was just worried about the way it would affect her.

“I haven’t told Grace—or anybody, for that matter,” she said. “Things can still go wrong, although I generally have easy pregnancies.”

“Twins will be harder.”

“That’s what I’m told.”

“I can’t think of any woman I know being willing to do something like this.”

“None of your girlfriends are hanging out Womb for Rent signs, huh?”

“Not a one. I’d say you’re a pretty special lady. Me, I can never figure out why anybody would want to put up with pregnancy. If it were up to men, it wouldn’t happen.”

“Well, some part of it is up to men. That’s how it works.”

“Not up to them to have morning sickness or stretch marks. You do all that work, lose your figure, and what do you get in the end? Little critters who can’t do a blessed thing for themselves. Poop machines, milk guzzlers, screaming little red-faced monsters.”

“Well, put like that, you’re right, but have you ever seen a baby asleep?”

“You’d do all that work just to watch one snoring away?”

She slapped his knee. “But you forget, I don’t have to put up with any of that. I have the babies and turn them over.”

“And you’re all right with that?”

“I’m all right with it.”

“Someday I want to hear why. There has to be a story there.” He glanced at his watch; then he stretched and stood. “But not tonight. You’re beat. Dowsing will do that to you, even without all the extraneous stuff like being a surrogate mother, carrying twins, raising two lively little sweethearts and living out in the middle of nowhere without anybody to help.”

She stood, too. “Wow, put that way, I ought to do a Rip Van Winkle.”

“I’ll be seeing you around, Miss Jamie. And I’m going to keep an eye on you. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Let’s drop the Miss Jamie stuff, okay? Just Jamie. I’m not your Sunday school teacher.”

He smiled; then, almost as if he were acting against his own will, he rested his hands on her shoulders, leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was light and sweet, almost—but not quite—the kiss one friend gives another.

“Not my Sunday-school teacher, all right. Jamie.” He touched her hair, wound one lock around his finger and tugged. Then he stepped back.

“Tell Grace we’ll be up soon to see Lucky.”

“I will.”

She watched as he walked down the steps. In a moment she heard his pickup start. Then he was gone.

“A nice guy.” And somehow more than that. She had no idea if tonight had ended a promising friendship, but she hoped not. She thought that Cash Rosslyn, along with his grandmother, was going to make the next few months a lot easier.

F
our weeks later, Hannah was wearing blue jeans straight from the local thrift shop, a ragged Valvoline T-shirt that Jamie generally used to wash the minivan and sneakers one size too small, although it didn’t matter, since she had cut out the ends so her toes could peek through. Alison looked every bit as grubby.

“What if somebody wears a party dress?” Hannah asked. “They could, you know. Some of the girls are Alison’s age, and they do read.”

Jamie glanced up from adjusting the sprinkler. Getting a decent spray was harder than she’d expected. Water pressure from the old well was just barely strong enough to make the sprinkler turn, and she was glad she had started on the mud puddle early. Although the August afternoon sky was dark with clouds, a lack of rain had turned the soil in the clearing to dust. The ground needed a thorough soaking to achieve their purposes. She hoped the well was up to it.

Once she was satisfied with the sprinkler placement, she dried her hands on her pants. “The invitations are perfectly clear, Hannah. And I’ve talked to all the moms. They know it’s a Dirty Day party and everyone’s supposed to wear their oldest clothes. I told them to send the girls in whatever they’d dress a scarecrow in for Halloween.” She didn’t point out that she’d bought a pile of old things when she’d bought Hannah’s jeans, just in case. Hannah liked to obsess, and Jamie didn’t want to spoil her fun.

“What if they don’t like to get dirty?” Hannah skipped off as she spoke, since the question was purely rhetorical. Jamie had never met a child who, given half a chance, didn’t like to roll in the mud.

Over the past month Jamie had discovered that days in the country
could
pass quickly, even when she had no job to go to or classes to attend. Every morning she woke up with a list of things she wanted to do, and by the end of the day, the list was only half complete.

Part of the problem was an overwhelming need for a nap each afternoon. Alison cooperated by taking a short one, curled up next to her mother, and Hannah was trustworthy enough that Jamie could leave her with some project to work on for the half hour Jamie was dead to the world. But nap time and waking up from nap time took up a large part of her day.

One of the ways she had occupied her waking hours was to find other children for her daughters to play with. Sam Kinkade had come through, introducing the girls to several children their age, although with family vacations and other commitments, those friendships had gotten a slow start. Then, at the end of July, as Elisa had suggested, she’d sent the girls to the vacation bible school at Shenandoah Community Church.

As predicted, some of the children from La Casa Amarilla had attended the church summer program, as well, and Hannah had made firm friends with two. The girls had spent a worthwhile week—learning the story of the good samaritan, the Lord’s Prayer in Spanish and the importance of reaching out to help others—pepped up by a Mexican fiesta at the conclusion, complete with a donkey
piñata.

Now, not only did they understand a bit more about the New Testament, they were no longer lonely. And today her girls were throwing a party.

The August heat and dry spell had inspired the theme. Hannah had wanted to play in the sprinkler, and Alison had suggested mud pies. Together the three of them had come up with Dirty Day. Alison had invited five-year-olds Reese Claiborne, a neighbor’s daughter, and Bridget Brogan, whose mother was a mainstay of the church’s quilting bee. Seven-year-old Maria Garcia and eight-year-old Carmen Sanchez from La Casa were Hannah’s guests.

To finish off the afternoon, Jamie had made “dirt” cakes in individual flower pots, with ground-up chocolate sandwich cookies, vanilla pudding and gummy worms. Each pot had an artificial daisy poking out of the top, and there were “garbage” bags of Dirty Day goodies, such as bubble makers and sweet-smelling soaps, to take home. As children’s parties went, it was bound to be a winner.

Jamie dusted off her hands and turned at the sound of a car. Cissy Claiborne, Reese’s mother, had volunteered to bring all the little girls, and Adoncia Garcia, Maria’s mother, was going to take them home. Adoncia and Elisa Kinkade were close friends, and Adoncia worked in a local medical practice learning everything she needed to so that when the time came for Elisa to open her own office, Adoncia could be Elisa’s practice manager. Although Jamie had only chatted briefly with the two women as they brought and picked up their children from bible school, she liked them both.

The eighties station wagon arrived, and in a moment, the older girls piled out. Cissy, a pretty young woman with a cloud of strawberry-blond hair, unhooked booster seats and belts, and the whole crew started toward them. Reese, her daughter, had the same blond hair and was easy to pick out from the three brunettes. Jamie was pleased to see that the mothers had taken her seriously and sent their daughters in what looked like hand-me-downs on their third go-round.

Hannah corralled the girls right away, and everybody ran off to see the playhouse.

“Oh, you’re going to have your hands full,” Cissy said. “Reese is so excited, she hasn’t talked about anything else for days.”

Jamie was delighted to see another woman close to her own age. The girls had made friends, but
she
hadn’t really had a chance yet. In the past weeks a couple of neighbors had stopped by with casseroles or desserts to welcome her, but they were all older and, she suspected, busy with their own families and pursuits.

“It’s just so hot,” she told Cissy, “and I couldn’t see them getting sweaty and grouchy and picking fights with each other. This way they’ll stay cool. And filthy, but who cares?”

“Is this a family tradition?”

Jamie had to laugh. “I’m afraid I didn’t grow up with a single tradition I would dare pass on. The girls and I are making our own.”

“Well, neither did I, but this is a good one. I might add it to ours. Of course, it’s hard to keep Reese clean even on a normal day. Every day is Dirty Day.”

Cissy took out a card and handed it to Jamie. “I wish I could stay and help, but I’m assistant innkeeper over at Daughter of the Stars. I promised I’d work this afternoon while Reese is here. If anything comes up and you need me, that’s the number at the inn.”

Laughter and squeals came from the direction of the playhouse. Jamie knew she had to check on things. She said goodbye to Cissy and went to see what the girls were doing. When it was clear she wasn’t needed, she went back to the house to finish arranging things on the porch table, setting out plastic place mats and paper cups, then headed off to check on her mud pit.

The next two hours passed like lightning—or, more accurately, as if she’d been struck by it. The girls got hot quickly, and after they’d done a quick tour of the playhouse and Hannah and Alison’s room, they were ready for the sprinkler. Sprinkler play quickly turned to mud play. They made up contests. Prettiest mud pie, biggest mud pie…nothing that a network scout would pick up for the next big reality show, but the girls didn’t care.

They played in the sprinkler again, went on a supervised hike down to the river, came back up and delved into the mud, and then, after another sprinkler round, the thorough washing of hands and their dirt-cake dessert, they went back to the playhouse for a meeting. Somewhere along the way, a club had formed. Jamie was fairly sure she knew who would be the first president.

She was digging in the dirt with muddy hands to reposition the sprinkler when she heard another car drive into the clearing. She turned and saw her sister’s Lexus. She hadn’t expected Kendra, and she felt a surge of gratitude. Maybe if she pleaded, Kendra would help with the party finale. Even better, maybe she’d stay for a conversation.

She wiped her muddy hands on her oldest pair of jeans—she’d had a private Dirty Day whether she’d planned one or not—and prepared to greet her sister, who was dressed, as usual, in beautifully tailored sportswear. Flawlessly clean sportswear.

“Hey, Ken!” Jamie lifted a hand as Kendra approached. “What are you doing here?”

Kendra was alone. She got out of the car slowly and took stock of everything. Jamie, the new house foundation, the screeching of little girls in the distance. “What have I interrupted?”

“The girls are having a Dirty Day party.” Jamie held up her hands and inclined her head toward the sprinkler. “I’m afraid I’m having the grown-up version. Please tell me you can stay and help me get them out the door.”

Kendra’s smile was a weaker version of her usual. “Cash is going to meet me over here with some information on heating and air-conditioning systems, then I’ve got a couple of appointments on the way home to look at tile and fixtures. It gave me an excuse to see how things were going with the house. And you and the girls. But that part goes without saying.”

Kendra hadn’t been to the cabin to visit since the night she and Isaac had come to dinner. The sisters had seen each other at Jamie’s first doctor’s appointment with the obstetrician in Front Royal. They’d had a brief lunch together afterward, but Jamie had expected Kendra to show more enthusiasm for the pregnancy. She’d been surprised and, she admitted, hurt, by Kendra’s absence.

“They’ve got the foundation and the basement on the way, started the framing, worked on the drainage. The well company’s been out to drill, and they got what amounts to a gusher.” Jamie saw that her sister didn’t look surprised. “But you must know that. I guess you’ve been in touch with Cash.”

“We’ve arranged to talk every Friday afternoon. He keeps me up to date, but it’s not the same as seeing it.”

Jamie felt a twinge of irritation. Kendra called
her
every week, too. She wondered if she was simply on the list of people Kendra knew she ought to talk to.
Jamie at five on Thursdays
.

Jamie kept her voice even. “Well, take a good look. You’ll like what they’ve done. Cash is in and out. I haven’t seen much of him, but he seems to keep things moving.”

“I thought you’d see a lot of him.”

“Not as much as you’d think.” She didn’t say that when she and Cash saw each other now he was friendly, sometimes spilling over into charming. She enjoyed their banter, his genuine warmth, his enthusiasm for her daughters’ welfare. But nothing had come of it. Since that one dinner, they hadn’t seen each other after hours. Even her trips up to Grace’s to see Lucky had been Cash poor, as she’d begun to think of them.

“So the girls are having a Dirty Day party?” Kendra’s gaze flicked down to Jamie’s hands. “And what kind of party is that?”

“Mud pies, running through sprinklers. Come see the cute dessert I made, or what’s left of it. I have to check on everybody in a minute. They’re in the playhouse, but I’m sure there’ll be one more run through the sprinkler before they change to go home. It’s a good way to stay cool.” She paused, then decided it didn’t hurt to beg. “You can help if you want. You could use some mud under that manicure.”

“Maybe I should do it, and you should rest.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a little tired, but it means so much to the girls that it pumps me up. Cash’s guys cleared a little hole for us with their backhoe and dumped in some topsoil they’d scraped off when they dug the foundation. They’ll replace it for your yard when everything’s all done, but I had to water it to make mud. I was just moving the sprinkler to a drier spot so this time they’ll stay cleaner.”

“Jamie…” Kendra looked as if she didn’t know whether to continue or not.

Jamie was suddenly alert. True, she and Kendra had not spent much time together as adults, but she still knew her sister well enough to realize that something was wrong. And Kendra was trying to figure out how to tell her.

“You know, you could just come right out and say whatever this is,” Jamie said. “Give it a try. I might surprise you.”

“I’m not trying to upset you.”

“Well, that’s a good start. Mind telling me what you’re not trying to upset me about?”

Kendra looked uncomfortable. “I don’t have any right to tell you how to live your life…”

“But?”

“It’s just that I’ve been reading a lot about pregnancy. I mean, I guess that’s inevitable, even though you’re the one who’s pregnant.”

“Something tells me this is one of those times when too much knowledge isn’t a good thing.”

“Maybe so, but do you know about toxoplasmosis? It’s a parasite that can cause all kinds of birth defects. Most people think it’s only something you have to worry about if you have a cat, so pregnant women aren’t supposed to change the cat litter. But it can also live in soil. You’re not supposed to dig in a garden, for instance, unless you’re wearing gloves.”

Jamie took a moment to frame her answer. “Well, you’re thorough, I’ll give you that. But that’s what I’d expect. Researching the hot topics is in the genes. I mean, the Dunkirk fortune started with newspapers. I guess you can hardly be blamed for doing what comes naturally. Or for assuming, considering everything, that I’m clueless.”

Kendra winced. “Your hands are covered in mud.”

“And a million little parasites? I mean, do you have any idea how unlikely it is that I would get toxoplasmosis from moving a sprinkler?” She realized her voice had risen. “And just for the record, what gives you the right to practically ignore me for a month, then show up here and start criticizing me?”

“You know what gives me the right. And I’ve stayed away because I was afraid this very thing would happen.”

“What? That maybe you’d find me smoking or drinking or taking up sky diving like Daddy? Or maybe extreme skateboarding, more the style of an irresponsible Gen Xer, huh?”

“No…” Kendra took a deep breath. “No. Afraid I might overreact. I’m sorry. But there you are, covered in mud, and I know that can be a problem, and…”

“Ken, I’m
immune
to toxoplasmosis. I was tested when I was pregnant with Hannah. I must have had it at some point as a child or in my teens. Now I can change kitty litter with the best of them, or dig my way to China with my fingernails. I might even buy a cat just to show off how immune I am. Just one more example of what a perfect surrogate I make.”