Sisters in Bloom (Love in Bloom: Snow Sisters #2), Contemporary Romance (8 page)

Moonlight streamed in the window of Danica’s den, where Kaylie sat in her pajamas and fuzzy slippers. She loved this room. The sofa folded out to an enormous king-sized bed, and it reminded her of when she and Danica used to have sleepovers at their grandparents’ house. Danica was asleep upstairs in her bedroom, and Camille and Chelsea had claimed the guest bedroom. Marie had passed out on the pull-out couch in the living room, while Kaylie’s mind ran in circles about her career options—or lack thereof. Unable to sleep, she’d tried to write songs, as the girls and Chaz had suggested, but everything she wrote was crap and she’d given up. She’d had such high hopes when they were at Bar None, too.

She wished she’d gone back home last night instead of staying at Danica’s. Chaz was leaving on the red-eye, and she missed him already. Her mother had left her another message, and Kaylie was glad she’d missed the call. She wasn’t ready to deal with her mother’s new lifestyle yet. First she had to deal with her own transitions.

Kaylie felt a little lost, and she didn’t like it one bit. She’d always had the world at her fingertips, and now she felt like a failure. Who was she if she wasn’t a singer and the life of the party? She’d known that things would change as her body did, but what she hadn’t planned on was how it would make her feel. What made it even worse was that she knew she was messing up the only good thing in her life—her relationship with Chaz. He didn’t deserve her crazy mood swings, and she had no way to control them. Even her doctor was no help.
It’s only nine months. It’ll all be worth it.

How many times had Danica told her that she couldn’t have a happy relationship until she was happy with herself? A zillion, that’s how many. And although she was sure Danica didn’t think she ever listened to her advice, she not only listened, but she memorized that particular piece, even if she didn’t heed the value of it. The trouble was, Kaylie always thought she
was
happy. But now she was beginning to realize that it was all an illusion. She liked being pretty and getting noticed, and singing breathed new life into her every time she stepped on stage. Without the lights shining on her, without the roar of the crowd when she hit those high notes, or the leers from men when they thought their girlfriends weren’t looking, she was left being just another average girl. She had to be more than average. Danica wasn’t average, and she’d be damned if she’d be anything less.

She pulled the crumpled papers out of the trash can, flattened them out, and looked over the ridiculous lyrics. It made her sick to her stomach to realize that she wasn’t capable of doing what Chaz thought she could so easily do.

Kaylie read over the lyrics again and again, hoping she’d see something worth saving, some hint of excellence. Crap. They were all crap. She sucked at writing. She’d never find anything else to do with her life. If she couldn’t sing, she might as well work in a record store, or a restaurant. None of it mattered. If she couldn’t sing—and she clearly couldn’t write songs—she didn’t care what she did.

She turned the radio on low to clear her head, and then she went into the kitchen and quietly poured herself a bowl of cereal. If she couldn’t sing, and she couldn’t write, she might as well eat. She hummed along with the music, being careful not to be too loud, although she was pretty sure that the girls were down for the count. They’d had more than their share of drinks. Before she knew it, she was dancing to Taylor Swift’s, “I knew You Were Trouble.” Suddenly, she stopped midspin, in the center of the kitchen, with her cereal growing soggier by the second.

“That’s all wrong,” she whispered to the empty room. “It’s not all
him
.”

She headed back into the den, snagged a piece of fresh paper and a pencil from Danica’s desk as she sank into Danica’s chair, and then she began to write.

Danica’s cell phone rang, and she hoped it was Kaylie. Kaylie had still been sleeping when she’d left for the youth center, and the other girls all had somewhere they needed to be, so they left a note on the counter for her and locked the condo on their way out. She’d already tried Kaylie’s cell phone three times, and every call had gone to voicemail. She looked at the phone.
Mom
. Danica realized that her heart wasn’t racing at the sight of her mother’s phone number. She wondered what had changed, and the therapist in her provided the answer.
Mom’s finally happy
.
You don’t have to feel guilty for moving on with your life anymore
.

“Hi, Mom.” Danica hadn’t realized how much she’d avoided her mother after her parents’ separation. She’d still seen her and talked with her every few weeks, but the weight of her mother’s unhappiness had weighed heavily on Danica every time she’d heard her mother’s voice. The guilt she’d carried since she graduated from college, for striking out on her own rather than going home to help her mother heal, dissipated with her mother’s new lease on life.

“Hi, honey. I’ve been trying to reach Kaylie, but she’s not answering her phone. I know it’s hopeful—and even presumptive—but I thought after meeting for lunch that we might try to stay connected.”

Danica heard the strain in her voice, and she was quick to clear up the confusion. “She probably has her phone turned off.”

“Do you think everything’s okay?”

Here comes that stress again
. Danica hated being in between Kaylie and her mother, and it seemed like every time she turned around, one of them was asking Danica’s opinion about their relationship. “Yes, Mom. She’s just having a hard time with work and all. The girls and I took her out last night, and she stayed at my place.” Sally appeared in her doorway and Danica held up one finger. “She’ll be fine. She just needs a day to get her head together.”

“I hope so. You know, she was so upset with me for staying with your father, I mean, once she realized that I had known about his affair for all those years and stayed with him anyway. She hated that he blindsided me with it, but I think she was angrier with me when she realized that it was my choice to stay.”

Danica sighed and covered the phone. “I’m actually gonna be a minute. I’ll come get you,” she said to Sally.

Sally nodded and mouthed,
It’s fine. No rush
, and walked away. Gage met her in the hallway and Danica watched them. Sally looked regal with her perfect white-blond hair and slim figure. She could make jeans, a colored silk scarf, and a T-shirt look like a fashion statement. Standing next to ruggedly handsome Gage, in his cargo shorts with his muscular calves exposed, they looked like the perfect couple.
Hmm
.

Danica’s mother was going on about how when she was pregnant with Danica, she felt ugly and fat, too. “Mom, you should tell Kaylie that, not me.”

“I would if I could reach her.” Her mother paused, then continued. “I hate to bring up uncomfortable subjects, but with Kaylie having a baby, don’t you think it’s time for her to forgive your father and make peace? I mean, I’m her mom, and moms always take the brunt of parenting woes. I know in my heart that one day the fissure between us will mend, but it’s been years since she’s seen or spoken to your father.”

“That’s one problem I can’t fix, Mom. I’ll bring it up to her, but don’t expect any miracles.”

“She really shouldn’t blame him. Things happen in marriages, and they’re really no one’s fault. Anyway, I thought the baby might mend the bridge between us.”

Danica wasn’t going down that no-win road with her mother. There was no doubt that Kaylie should have been making a bigger effort to understand their mother, but her mother shouldn’t have let it go for so long either. There was no way to keep her therapist thoughts to herself. Instead, she remained quiet, hoping her mother would drop the subject.

Silence filled the space between them. Danica didn’t want to be in that middle place, where she’d spent the last few years. Kaylie was a big girl. She would have to learn to deal with their mother at some point—and their father. Danica fiddled with the papers on her desk, trying to remember the last time she’d spoken to her father. They exchanged holiday cards each year, but she hadn’t actually spoken to him in…she had no idea how long it had been.

She read her mother’s pain in her silence. She’d always done that with their father—gone silent, waiting for him to clear the air. Danica had been waiting to invite her mother to the baby shower until she saw how things went between her and Kaylie, but since Kaylie hadn’t made any further efforts, Danica couldn’t wait any longer. “Mom, Kaylie’s baby shower is planned for the weekend after next. I meant to send you an invitation, but we ended up just calling everyone. I was worried Kaylie might see the invites lying around. Can you make it? Please?” After she asked the question, she realized how uncomfortable her mother and Kaylie would be, but ignoring the therapist in herself was not easy to do. She had to try to help them reconcile, if for no other reason than to get herself out of the middle. She closed her eyes, hoping her mother would say she was too busy.

“I’d love to. Where and when?”

Kaylie woke up feeling groggy. She blinked away the fatigue and glanced at the clock, and she bolted to her feet—as much as a pregnant woman could
bolt
. Two o’clock? Where had the day gone? She hadn’t fallen asleep until sometime after five in the morning. She spotted the stack of papers on the corner of the desk and smiled. There was a plethora of songs on those pages. Not only had she written these songs, but in the wee hours of the morning, they’d seemed to be good—really, really good.

She flipped on the lights and then picked up her cell phone and texted Chaz.
Sorry I missed u this morning. Stayed up late. Love u.
She checked her voicemail. Her heart sank as she listened to Chaz’s messages from the night before. He missed her. He was sorry. All he wanted was for her to be happy. She detected something, a hesitation maybe, in his voice. Like he had something else to say, or maybe she was just exhausted and was hearing things that weren’t there. Singing at Bar None had been exhilarating, and when she’d finally sat down to write, it was like her heart poured out through her fingertips, leaving her emotionally and physically drained, similar to what she’d heard in Chaz’s voice.
Shit!
She’d forgotten to call him when they got back to Danica’s house. That was why he was so upset.

Kaylie sank into the couch, listening to the next message from her mother. She apologized for springing the news about dating on her and asked her to join her for dinner so that they could talk. She saved the message. She was too tired to think about how to respond. She listened to Camille and Marie’s messages, both gushing over how much fun they’d had. There were two more messages, both from Chaz.

“Kaylie, I’m about to get on the plane, but I wanted to hear your voice. I guess voicemail will have to do.” The frustration in Chaz’s voice startled her. “You forgot to call me,” he said with an edge in his voice. “I’ll be in meetings most of the day after we land, and then we’ll be flying back, and with the time difference and all, it’ll be hard to catch up. Maybe you need that time anyway, to figure things out. I…we really need to talk.”

She dialed Chaz’s number and left a voicemail message. “Just got your message. We had fun. I slept really late. I’m sorry I forgot to call. Hope your trip goes well. I know you’ll seal the deal with the sponsor. Do whatever it takes. I love you.”

Kaylie picked up her papers and stuffed them into her purse, cleaned up her bowl of uneaten cereal, and tidied the kitchen and den before heading home. She couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling about the way Chaz sounded, like he was angry that she’d forgotten to call. Chaz never got angry about things like that. He knew where she was and who she was with. What the hell was going on?

She hit every red light on her way out of town, and she used the time to wallow in the happiness of knowing she could do more than sing. She couldn’t wait to get home and read through her songs again. Chaz would be so proud of her once he got over his crankiness. She had to cut him a break. He’d been about to get on a plane at an ungodly hour, and that was enough to make anyone cranky.

As she drove up the long driveway, she wondered if she could make a career out of writing songs, and then one day, when their baby was older, go back to singing, or even better—gain a recording contract. Then she wouldn’t have to give up everything she’d worked so hard to achieve or leave the baby. She could write from home, and even if something happened…She wouldn’t let herself think about that. She wasn’t her mother. Nothing would happen between her and Chaz. They had a solid, happy relationship despite the way she’d been acting lately.

Kaylie dropped her bags by the front door, suddenly feeling even more tired than she had been. She looked in the long mirror that hung in the foyer. Fatigue showed in the bags under her eyes. She hadn’t showered at Danica’s, and her hair was matted and unstyled. The maternity shirt she wore made her boobs look matronly and saggy. Who had she been kidding last night? She must have looked like a fool up on the stage in that too-tight dress. She drew a long deep breath and blew it out as she walked heavily into the living room and ran her finger along the mantel, hesitating at each photograph. In the pictures, she was happy and thin. Who would want to look at her now, with those stupid bags under her eyes and her entire body retaining water? What the hell had she been thinking last night? Chaz couldn’t have been excited about how she looked. Either she’d completely misread what she’d thought she saw, or he was thinking of someone else altogether, because she was an ugly mess. 

She headed for her bedroom. A nap might do her well. The light in the hall bathroom was on. Flipping it off, she noticed a hairbrush on the sink. A woman’s hairbrush, and it wasn’t hers. Kaylie washed her face and then carried the unfamiliar hairbrush into the bedroom, wondering whose it was. Maybe Danica had left it at her house. She went into Chaz’s office and called Danica from the cordless phone.

“Kaylie?”

“Hey, did you leave a brush at my house?” Kaylie asked.

“What? No. When would I have done that?”

“I don’t know.” She pulled a long dark hair from the brush, holding it between her index finger and thumb like a diseased rat. “Something’s going on. Chaz is gone. He’s in Hawaii, and—”

“Kaylie, slow down. You knew he was going to Hawaii, remember?”

Tears sprang from her eyes, and she tried to calm herself down, but her heart was beating so fast she could hardly think.

“Did Blake say anything about how he was last night?” Kaylie asked.

“Blake? No, he ended up with food poisoning and didn’t meet Chaz after all.”

“What? Then who…Oh, no.”
Maybe he got fed up with my moods and my not calling, and he—Oh, God—would he really go looking for someone else?
“I was supposed to call him last night, and I didn’t. And something was wrong before I went out, but I kept telling myself it was nothing. Now he’s gone, and it’s all my fault.”

“I don’t understand. You didn’t call him? Like, at all? Not while you were out with us? Why would he be upset about that?”

“I told him I would call when we got to your house.” She swiped at her tears and cursed herself for being so emotional. “I wasn’t thinking. I was writing.”

“Kaylie, you’re not a kid anymore. You have responsibilities, and this is an adult relationship. That man is the father of your child.”

“Did you even hear me? I was writing. Writing! I’m good at it, and if I can be good enough, then maybe I can actually get a record deal someday, Danica. And writing is what Chaz suggested I do—write songs so I wouldn’t be so bummed about not singing. And you know what? It worked.”
And now he’s gone
.

“Great, so you can write songs and smile into an empty house. I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but between the argument the other day and you not calling him last night, is there any chance you did it on purpose? Subconsciously, I mean?”

“Ugh. Really, Danica? You think I would do that?”
Would I? No. No way
.

“I don’t know, but maybe he feels like you took him for granted. You need to fix this.”

Kaylie was getting angrier by the second. She didn’t need to fix anything. She wasn’t the one who brought someone else into the house. Why would he bring a woman over? She stared at the brush, playing made-up scenes in her head; Chaz watching a woman brush her hair, then moving slowly toward her, embracing her from behind, kissing her neck…
Stop! Stop it now!
She threw the brush in the trashcan and stewed over it. She should tell Danica about it, but she was too embarrassed.
Would he really cheat on me? Is he just like Dad?

“Kaylie, I’m sorry. That’s not my place, and I’m sorry. It’s gonna be fine. You do want it to be fine, don’t you?”

“Jesus, Danica,” she cried. “Of course I want things to be fine. I love Chaz. I love us.”
But maybe he doesn’t love me. I can’t end up like Mom
.

“Do you want me to come over?”

“No, no, you’re right,” Kaylie said through her tears. “I was thoughtless. I want this to work. I just got lost in my own stuff.” Kaylie walked to the living room and flopped onto the couch. She pulled at a piece of cloth stuck between the cushions. A woman’s sock. “Oh, God.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Kaylie?”

“I gotta go.”

Kaylie stared at the sock in disbelief. She ran to her dresser and rifled through her sock drawer. She knew the sock was not hers, but she didn’t want to believe Chaz would be with anyone else, much less bring some other woman to
their
home. It was her parents all over again.

She clenched the sock in her fisted hand and dialed Chaz’s number. Damn it, voicemail. “I’m gone for a day and you have someone else move right in? How could you do that? I found her stuff, Chaz. I thought I could trust you.” She hung up and tossed the receiver on the other side of the couch, then lay on her side and sobbed.

If there was one thing Kaylie had learned from her parents’ divorce and from her mother’s unwillingness to leave her father because of her and Danica, it was that it was easier to leave before a baby was born than after. She packed two big suitcases of her clothes and hauled them out to her car.

He’d be full of excuses, and she’d have none of it. She loved him. She had trusted him, and yes, she’d forgotten to call, but that did not justify having a woman in her home. Kaylie touched her belly, thinking of the baby—their baby—and feeling her heart crushing a little more with each painful thought.

Kaylie sat on the front steps of their gorgeous cedar-sided chalet, asking herself if she was being fair. She rubbed the side of her belly where the baby was kicking like a soccer player. “I can’t be Mom,” she said to her belly.

Her cell phone vibrated and she pulled it from her purse and turned it off without even checking who it was. She didn’t want to talk to Chaz after all. She couldn’t listen to lame excuses or empty apologies. She’d given her trust to him and this was what he did with it?