Sixth Column (13 page)

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Authors: Robert A. Heinlein

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religions."

"Perhaps. Perhaps. I thought of that, but somehow I couldn't see it. I

can't picture one of us standing up and pretending to be a minister, say, of

one of the regular protestant churches. I'm not much of a churchgoer, but I

didn't think I could stomach it. Maybe when it comes right down to it, I'm

bothered by the same thing that bothers Howe. But we've got to deal with it.

We've got to consider the attitude of the other churches. We mustn't tread on

their toes in any way we can help."

"Maybe this would help," Thomas suggested. "It could be one of the

tenets of our church that we included and tolerated, even encouraged, any

other form of worship that a man might favor. Besides that, every church,

especially these days, has more social work than it can afford. We'll give the

others financial assistance with no strings attached."

"Both of those things will help," Ardmore decided, "but it will be ticklish

business. Whenever possible, we'll enlist the regular ministers and priests

themselves. You can bet that every American will be for us, if he understands

what we are aiming toward. The problem will be to decide which ones can be

trusted with the whole secret. Now about Denver, Jeff, do you want to start

back right away, tomorrow, maybe?"

"How about Howe?"

"He'll come around, I think."

"Just a moment, Major." It was Dr. Brooks, who had been sitting quietly,

as usual, while the others talked. " I think it would be a good idea if we waited

a day or two, until Scheer can make certain changes in the power units of the

staffs."

"What sort of changes?"

"You will remember that we established experimentally that the Ledbetter

effect could be used as a sterilizing agent?"

"Yes, of course."

"That is why we felt safe in predicting that we would help the sick. As a

matter of fact we underestimated the potentialities of the method. I infected

myself with anthrax earlier this week-"

"Anthrax! For God's sake, Doctor, what in the world do you mean by

taking a chance like that?"

Brooks turned his mild eyes on Ardmore. "But it was obviously

necessary," he explained patiently. "The guinea pig tests were positive, it is

true, but human experimentation was necessary to establish the method. As I

was saying, I infected myself with anthrax and permitted the disease to

establish itself, then exposed myself to the Ledbetter effect in all wave

lengths except that band of frequencies fatal to warm-blooded vertebrates.

The disease disappeared. In less than an hour the natural balance of

anabolism over catabolism had cleared up the residue of pathological

symptoms. I was well."

"I'll be a cross-eyed intern! Do you think it will work on other diseases

just as quickly?"

" I feel sure of it. Not only has such been the result with other diseases in

the animal experimentation that I have conducted, but because of another

unanticipated, though experimentally predictable, result. I've suffered from a

rather severe cold in the head lately, as some of you may have noticed. The

exposure not only cured the anthrax, it completely cleared up my cold. The

cold virus involves a dozen or more known pathogenic organisms, and

probably as many more unknown ones. The exposure killed them all,

indiscriminately."

"I'm delighted to get this report, Doctor," Ardmore answered. "In the long

run this one development may be of more importance to the human race than

any military use we may make of it now. But how does it affect the matter of

establishing the branch church in Denver?"

"Well, sir, perhaps it doesn't. But I took the liberty of having Scheer

modify one of the portable power units in order that healing might be

conveniently carried on by any one of our agents even though equipped only

with the staff. I thought you might prefer to wait until Scheer could add the

same modification to the staffs designed to be used by Thomas and Howe."

"I think you are right, if it does not take too long. May I see the

modification?"

Scheer demonstrated the staff he had worked over. Superficially it

looked no different from the others. A six-foot rod was surmounted by a

capital in the form of an ornate cube about four inches through. The faces of

the cube were colored to correspond with the sides of the great temple. The

base of the cube and the staff itself were covered with intricate designs in

golden scroll-work, formal arabesques, and delicate bas-relief-all of which

effectively concealed the controls of the power unit and projector located in

the cubical capital.

Scheer had not changed the superficial appearance of the staff; he had

simply added an additional circuit internally to the power unit in the cube

which constrained it to oscillate only outside the band of frequencies fatal to

vertebrate life. This circuit controlled the action of the power unit and

projector whenever a certain leaf in the decorative design of the staff was

pressed.

Scheer and Graham had labored together to create the staff's designing

and redesigning to achieve an integrated whole in which mechanical action

would be concealed in artistic camouflage. They made a good team. As a

matter of fact their talents were not too far apart; the artist is two-thirds

artisan and the artisan has essentially the same creative urge as the artist.

"I would suggest," added Brooks, when the new control had been

explained and demonstrated, "that this new effect be attributed to Tamar,

Lady of Mercy, and that her light be turned on when it is used."

"That's right. That's the idea," Ardmore approved. "Never use the staff for

any purpose without turning on the color light associated with the particular

god whose help you are supposed to be invoking. That's an invariable rule.

Let 'em break their hearts trying to figure out how a simple monochromatic

light can perform miracles."

"Why bother with the rigamarole?" inquired Calhoun. "The PanAsians

can't possibly detect the effects we use in any case."

"There is a double reason, Colonel. By giving them a false lead to follow

we hope to insure that they will bend their scientific efforts in the wrong

direction. We can't afford to underestimate their ability. But even more

important is the psychological effect on nonscientific minds, both white and

yellow. People think things are wonderful that look wonderful. The average

American is completely unimpressed by scientific wonders; he expects them,

takes them as a matter of course with an attitude of `So what? That's what

you guys are paid for.'

"But add a certain amount of flubdub and hokum and don't label it

`scientific' and he will be impressed. It's wonderful advertising."

"Well," said Calhoun, dismissing the matter, "no doubt you know bestyou have evidently had a great deal of experience in fooling the public. I've

never turned my attention to such matters; my concern is with pure science.

If you no longer need me here, Major, I have work to do."

"Certainly, Colonel, certainly! Go right ahead, your work is of prime

importance . . .

"Still," he added meditatively, when Calhoun had gone, "I don't see why

mass psychology shouldn't be a scientific field. If some of the scientists had

taken the trouble to formulate some of the things that salesmen and

politicians know already, we might never have gotten into the mess we're in."

" I think I can answer that," Dr. Brooks said diffidently.

"Huh? Oh, yes, Doctor-what were you going to say?"

"Psychology is not a science because it is too difficult. The scientific

mind is usually orderly, with a natural love for order. It resents and tends to

ignore fields in which order is not readily apparent. It gravitates to fields in

which order is easily found such as the physical sciences, and leaves the

more complex fields to those who play by ear, as it were. Thus we have a

rigorous science of thermodynamics but are not likely to have a science of

psychodynamics for many years yet to come."

Wilkie swung around so that he faced Brooks. "Do you really believe

that, Brooksie?"

"Certainly, my dear Bob."

Ardmore rapped on his desk, "It's an interesting subject, and I wish we

could continue the discussion, but it looks like rain, and the crops still to get

in. Now about this matter of founding a church in Denver-anybody got any

ideas?"

CHAPTER SIX

Wilkie said, " I'm glad I don't have to tackle it. I wouldn't have the

slightest idea where to start."

"Ah, but you may have to tackle it, Bob," Ardmore countered. "We may

all have to tackle it. Damn it-if we only had a few hundred that we could

depend on! But we haven't; there are only nine of us." He sat still for a

moment, drumming the table. "Just nine."

"You'll never get Colonel Calhoun to make noises like a preacher,"

commented Brooks.

"Okay, then-eight. Jeff, how many cities and towns are there in the

United States?"

"And you can't use Frank Mitsui," persisted Brooks. "For that matter,

while I'm willing enough I don't see how you can use me. I haven't any more

idea of how to go about setting up a fake church than I have about how to

teach ballet dancing."

"Don't fret about it, Doctor, neither have I. We'll play by ear. Fortunately

there aren't any rules. We can cook it up to suit ourselves."

"But how are you going to be convincing?"

"We don't have to be convincing-not in the sense of getting converts.

Real converts might prove to be a nuisance. We just have to be convincing

enough to look like a legitimate religion to our overlords. And that doesn't

have to be very convincing. All religions look equally silly from the outside.

Take the-" Ardmore caught a look on Scheer's face and said, "Sorry! I don't

mean to tread on anybody's toes. But it's a fact just the same and one that

we will make military use of. Take any religious mystery, any theological

proposition: expressed in ordinary terms it will read like sheer nonsense to

the outsider, from the ritualistic, symbolic eating of human flesh and blood

practiced by all the Christian sects to the outright cannibalism practiced by

some savages."

"Wait a minute, now!" he went on. "Don't throw anything at me. I'm not

passing judgments on any religious beliefs or practices; I'm just pointing out

that we are free to do anything at all, so long as we call it a religious practice

and so long as we don't tread on the toes of the monkey men. But we have to

decide what it is we are going to do and what it is we are going to say."

"It's not the double -talk that worries me," said Thomas. "I just stuck to

saying nothing in big words and it worked out all right. It's the matter of

getting an actual toe hold in the cities. We just haven't got enough people to

do it. Was that what you were thinking about when you asked me how many

cities and towns there are in the country?"

"Mmm, yes. We can't act we don't dare act,

until we cover the United States like a blanket. We'll have to make up our

minds to a long war."

"Major, why do you want to cover every city and town?"

Ardmore looked interested. "Keep talking."

"Well," Thomas went on diffidently, "from what we've already learned the

PanAsians don't maintain real military force in every hamlet. There are

between sixty and seventy-five places that they have garrisoned. Most towns

just have a sort of combination tax collector, mayor, and chief of police to see

that the orders of the Hand are carried out. The local panjandrum isn't even a

soldier, properly speaking, even though he goes armed and wears a uniform.

He's sort of an M. P., a civil servant acting as a military governor. I think we

can afford to ignore him; his power wouldn't last five minutes if he weren't

backed up by the troops and weapons in the garrisoned cities."

Ardmore nodded. "I see your point. You feel that we should concentrate

on the garrisoned towns and cities and ignore the rest. But look, Jeff, we

mustn't underestimate the enemy. If the Great God Mota shows up nowhere

but in the garrisoned spots it's going to look mighty funny to some intelligence

officer among the PanAsians when he gets to fiddling with the statistics of the

occupied country. I think we've got to show up elsewhere and. anywhere."

"And I respectfully suggest that we can't, sir. We haven't men enough to

pull it off. We'll have trouble enough recruiting and training enough men to set

up a temple in each of the garrisoned cities."

Ardmore chewed a thumbnail and looked frustrated. "You're probably

right. Well, confound it, we won't get anywhere at all if we sit here worrying

about the difficulties. I said we'd have to play by ear and that's what we'll do.

The first job is to get a headquarters set up in Denver. Jeff, what are you

going to need?"

Thomas frowned. "I don't know. Money, I suppose."

"No trouble about that," said Wilkie. "How much? I can make you half a

ton of gold as easily as half a pound."

"I don't think I can carry more than about fifty pounds."

"I don't think he can spend bullion very easily," Ardmore commented. "It

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