Size Matters (32 page)

‘Ah. Sweet,' April said under her breath to Jay as Charles put his arms round Delphine and did as he was ordered by the Registrar: kissed his bride.

‘Well it is, isn't it?' Greg said to her. ‘Or are you a hundred per cent cynical about this?'

‘No,' she said, smiling. ‘Only ninety per cent. The man's a pimp, no question.'

Well they looked happy enough, so perhaps they would be. Jay tweaked her sliding headgear back over her ear and settled it into place. Charles looked exactly like a properly smitten bridegroom should. His new mother-in-law was beaming and triumphant in a pale blue dress and a navy straw picture hat circled with turquoise pansies.

‘Don't they make a perfect couple?' she trilled at Audrey and Jay as, later, they all took their places for lunch in the San Pedro restaurant.

‘Lovely, dear,' Audrey agreed. ‘And third time lucky, let's hope.'

‘Oh I don't think we need to hope, this one's got sterling qualities.'

‘It takes more than money, dear,' said her sister, but Win was in full sail; nothing was going to sink her delight.

They hurt, the magic pants. They might be compressing her tummy flat but they sure as hell hurt. Jay sat beside Charles feeling that if she stood up she'd leave the lower half of her body behind her. She was definitely being cut in two. In absolute agony she dutifully munched her way through a couple of lettuce leaves from the side of the pâté starter, a teeny sliver of the sea bass and managed to down a bit of the peach dessert by sort of sucking at it, in the hope that it
would turn into mush that would take up no noticeable room in her insides.

‘No appetite?' Charles muttered to her, watching a waiter take away a good forty pounds' worth of food that she'd normally find luscious.

‘I'm fine. Just a bit . . .'

‘Yes it is exciting, isn't it?' he said. ‘I feel very lucky.' He squeezed her hand and she smiled at him. Whether he was being new-cousinly or habitually letchy, it didn't matter. She'd made the decision to say nothing to Delphine about her suspicions and she'd have to follow through by doing her best to think well of him.

‘You're not eating much. You're surely not dieting at a wedding?' Delphine said as she and Charles prepared to leave for their honeymoon in Scotland. What was it about people? Why, today of all days, were they gawping at her food intake as if keeping a close eye on a budding anorexic?

‘No – just these knickers you made me wear. They're killing me.'

‘You should wear them all the time. You'd be down to a proper weight in no time.'

‘Hey, what kind of a comment is that for your matron of honour?' April cut in.

‘Only being cruel to be kind,' Delphine said. ‘Though I'm not always right.'

‘God, that's a first,' April said. ‘Tell me what you're wrong about, quick so I can remember for later!'

Charles came up, claiming his bride and leading her to the car for the start of their honeymoon.

‘See you all in a couple of weeks,' he said. ‘And thanks so much for being here, everyone.'

‘Bye, Jay. And thank you,' Delphine said as she kissed her. ‘And you were absolutely right, you know.'

‘I was?' About what? About her being a cow over Cobweb, about her having a charmed childhood, what?

‘Oh completely,' Delphine said, hands on Jay's shoulders and a look of sincere affection. ‘Peach does nothing at all for you. Makes your hips look like a side of pork.'

Delphine disappeared into the white Mercedes and hurled her flowers into the family. Imogen caught them and Greg, beside Jay, groaned and said, ‘She'd better not be getting married, I can't afford it.'

‘You would though, Greg, you would.'

‘Bugger a wedding,' April said to Jay. ‘I heard what Delph said to you. Go and take those tight pants off
right now
. There's only one way to deal with a comment like that.'

‘I know, you're right,' Jay said, laughing and wondering where she'd left her glass. ‘Cake and champagne. Diet another day.'

THE END

Judy Astley was frequently told off for day-dreaming at her drearily traditional school but has found it to be the ideal training for becoming a writer. There were several false-starts to her career: secretary at an all-male Oxford college (sacked for undisclosable reasons), at an airline (decided, after a crash and a hijacking, that she was safer elsewhere) and as a dress designer (quit before anyone noticed she was adapting
Vogue
patterns). She spent some years as a parent and as a painter before sensing that the day was approaching when she'd have to go out and get a Proper Job. With a nagging certainty that she was temperamentally unemployable, and desperate to avoid office coffee, having to wear tights every day and missing out on sunny days on Cornish beaches with her daughters, she wrote her first novel,
Just for the Summer.
She has now had eleven novels published by Black Swan.

JUST FOR THE SUMMER

PLEASANT VICES

SEVEN FOR A SECRET

MUDDY WATERS

EVERY GOOD GIRL

THE RIGHT THING

EXCESS BAGGAGE

NO PLACE FOR A MAN

UNCHAINED MELANIE

AWAY FROM IT ALL

and published by Black Swan

TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS
61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA
A Random House Group Company
www.transworldbooks.co.uk

SIZE MATTERS

A BLACK SWAN BOOK: 978055277185
Version 1.0 Epub ISBN: 9781446437865

First publication in Great Britain

PRINTING HISTORY

Black Swan edition published 2004

7 9 10 8

Copyright © Judy Astley 2004

The right of Judy Astley to be identified as the author

of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77

and 78 of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All the characters in this book are fictitious,

and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,

is purely coincidental.

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