Skin Deep (38 page)

"Something I did to Iain...although at the time I guess...I was too young to know what I'd done. Or
...maybe...too young to understand the consequences of what I'd done." He looked at his hands, as if he held the answers within those twisted fingers. "My powers were becoming uncontrollable. Especially when I was upset. My father had left us and my mother...bless her kind heart...she thought a nice lunch at the restaurant where she worked would do the trick. We didn't know he'd be there looking for her. He'd run out of money, came back for some more. I saw him and...something inside me...went off."

Logan looked out the window, shaking his head as if he wanted to shake the memory right out of his mind. "Everything around me got hotter and hotter until
...it just exploded. My mother was holding my hand when we saw him. I never let go of it. She died where she stood next to me...took the brunt of the explosion. I killed 26 people that day including my mother, my father...and Sonia Lake."

All the air went rig
ht out of my lungs in a whoosh, and I had to take a few moments to breathe. At last, I turned in my seat, glad the darkness hid the somewhat pained expression I knew was plastered on my shocked face.

"Oh
, Logan. It wasn't your fault." I grasped his arm, and spoke softly. "How could you have known that would happen? It was an accident, Logan. You need to accept that." I rubbed his arm, wanting to hold him close and comfort the grieving little boy I saw in his eyes.

"How could Iain forgive me for taking his wife away?" He attacked me with the question but I refused to flinch in the face of his grief.

"He will, Logan. Iain is not an unreasonable man. I know my brother. He has a good heart. He will understand."

I knew deep down I was right, but my words were small comfort Logan. He regarded me, a stricken expression marring his beautiful face. My heart hurt for him. I wanted to touch his face, to hold him, to make it all better, but I didn't. He needed resolution, not comfort.

"You have to speak to him. It's closure for both of you." Logan looked up at me, startled. He hadn't even thought of the option. But he still resisted.

Shaking his head, "That's a really bad idea, Kailin."

"No. It's a good idea. He will understand. Trust me. Maybe he'll be angry, and he has a right to be. But he'll understand. And you will feel better."

Logan stared out the winds
hield, lost in thought. Although only ten minutes had passed, it had felt like a lifetime. At last, he started the car and took me home.

***

Dad and Iain arrived a few minutes after I'd had a quick shower and a change of clothes. I’d tried to wipe out the taste of Wraith blood from my tongue. Brushed my teeth twice to get the fetid flavor out of my mouth but I still felt the bitterness every time I swallowed. My arm hurt like the blazes, but I was impatient to speak to my father. Ignoring it for now seemed the smartest choice.

They came bearing food and although I grieved for my sister and my mother and for poor Logan, I was incredibly hungry. Iain had remembered my love of Cantonese. I ate with gusto while my guests picked at their food. I hoped the food would help erase the foul Wraith-blood taste.

I looked up and met my father's worried eyes. "You killed the Wraith-Lord?" Finally saw fit to speak. I sighed. Was I teaching a cub class?

"Yes, father. And Mom sends her regards." Until that second I hadn't realized how angry I was. Even when the color drained from his face I had no sympathy for him.

Iain's shocked "What?" went almost unnoticed. I turned to him. "And this is where you can be quiet. Don't even bother to deny you knew she was still alive." Fury blurred my vision, clearly exacerbated by the lack of blood in my damaged body.

I rose and beckoned my father into the living room.

Looking over my shoulder I sent Logan a look bearing specific instruction to talk. Leaving Iain alone with Logan was the perfect opportunity. I paused in my step. Logan needed a way to broach this difficult topic, otherwise he'd be flailing about in the dark until I'd finished speaking to my father. The big Omega Agent had no idea how to broach a sensitive subject.

"Iain?" I said. He looked up from murdering his noodles. "Logan has something important to tell you."

Hopefully it would get things started.

My father sat and looked uncomfortable, folding and unfolding his arms. It was hard to look stern and uncompromising while slouched on my couch. I was grateful he relented to my request to talk. My father usually never did anything unless he wanted to.

"You had something to discuss. Something about your mother?" He was eager for news of his wife, and it occurred to me he still cared for her. I immediately felt guilty. Had I been so blind and selfish not to realize he'd been steeped in grief all these years? No. Even if he'd been grieving, I'd deserved even the tiniest bit of affection.

I had no idea where to start. So jumping right in seemed a good enough option.

"Care to explain why you never mentioned Mom was Human?"

"But-"

I held up my hand. "Well, Father? Is that the reason you always warned us against getting too close to Humans?" I was desperate to know why he kept it from me. "Who else knew she was Human? Did you tell Iain and Greer?"

"No. I didn't tell any of your siblings. You didn't need to know."

"What about the Clan? Who else knew?" I pushed, still infuriated, still hurt beyond belief.

"The elders and most of the adult Walkers."

"And nobody, not even a single person ever mentioned it to any one of us?" I shook my head, disbelief robbing me of any further words.

"Out of respect to the Alpha. When she left the subject of your mother was taboo." He was still deeply hurt by her defection
, and I had it in my power to relieve him of some of his pain. But not here, in front of Iain and Logan. Despite my anger I held my tongue. This was a truth between two people and I couldn't speak of it until we were alone. The silence stretched between us, almost palpable. At last he sighed and asked, "Where is she?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"In Wrythiin."

"What?" He leaned forward intent on my response, wanting to hear me say it was a joke.

"It's where I went, to find Greer and Niko."

"And, did you find them?"

"Yes, only
..." I rose and paced. How was I supposed to tell him his brother was killed by the Wraith-Lord? "Mom said she'd left for only one reason - to protect us from him...the Wraiths."

"Why? Why would he be after you?" My father had no idea of my mother's talent for delivering eternal justice to the soul-suckers.

"Because she's a Wraith-Hunter and she knew I had the same….ability." My voice was flat, because I still wasn't sure I believed it. She left me. That was that. No reason why a mother should abandon her children.

He rested his forehead in his hand and said nothing.

"She thought if she left I'd never find out I had the ability." I continued my mother's tale.

"She didn't count on your stubborn streak, did she?"

"Neither did she count on how you would treat us after she left." I had to say my piece. No matter I was about to bombard him with a triple layer of loss. "I don't think she realized she'd take your heart with her."

My father stared at me, shocked, and perplexed.

"Is that what you think?" His brow twisted in confusion.

"Of course. You avoided me. You're always in your own world. Always preoccupied, we never used to talk or spend time with each other." I fell into the whine of complaints, but I was still a lonely child. Even though my mother had her reasons for leaving, and my father's coldness had never been deliberate, I still hated the fact that, in the end, I was the one left hurt and lonely.

"I hadn't realized." The silence drew out longer than I expected. "I assume that's why you left?"

I nodded. "Greer didn't stay too long either
, did she?"

Corin shook his head. "Greer's inability to change …. That was a shock, especially after Niko."

"Is that why you kept it from me?"

He nodded. "Greer was angry. So very upset. That's why she was so easily seduced by Niko's theories."

"You knew about that?"

"I suspected but there was no proof. I knew he was up to something, even went searching for him when Greer disappeared but I lost his trail."

I recalled my father's absence when I came to tell Iain about the first body.

"He was being influenced by Widd'en."

"What do you mean?" My father hadn't been exposed to any of the Wraith possession, didn't know much about how the whole possession thing worked.

"Mom told me that Widd'en is the leader of a faction who have been coming through the Veil to prey on Humans. She'd managed to fight many of them off but when I started Hunting
, it must have tipped them off that another Hunter was around. So he was trying to find me."

My father's head jerked up and he looked at me in consternation. "He was after you?"

"Imagine that?" I said, dryly.

My Dad frowned. "What did he want with Niko?"

"I'm still not entirely sure what the Wraith was doing with Niko. But, Widd'en killed him, Father." I watched the grief on his face. Men show grief so differently from women. We were free to cry, such girls. Men, no matter the species, keep it inside. True to nature, my father clasped his hand in from to his face and closed his eyes. He looked a lot like a man deep in prayer, but I knew he wasn’t.

"How?" he asked, his head still bowed. When I didn't reply he looked up at my face.

I shook my head, hoping he'd take it as sign that I didn't know the method of the killing.

"Did you see him?"

"He was already dead by then."

"And Greer?"

"She tried to escape through the portal but Widd'en had moved the seal so the destination changed. She made a run for it and went through. Now we have no idea which dimension she is in." I was still not in the least impressed by my sibling's betrayal. Father was shaking his head again.

"Ah, Greer. She's been lost for a while now." It seemed somehow fitting she would end up in the land of neither living nor dead.

"Well, she’s lost good and proper now," I said, irony dripping thickly from my words.

"Can we find her?"

"I think so. We will have to get help from a few people but I think we can, though it may take some time." No prizes for guessing who would be the one trying to find a sister who was willing to watch you die.

"And where's your mother?" He voiced the question with such dread I was afraid to answer.

"The Guard caught her before she made the jump. She'd shoved me through because I was so weak after my fight with Widd'en. But she wasn't fast enough. They caught her just before the portal closed."

I couldn't say anything to make him feel better. What can you say to a man who loses three members of his family in one night, one of them for the second time? I rose to leave the room, leave him to think and pray and grieve and do whatever he needed to make himself feel better.

"Can we save her?" My father's eyes were shadowed as he spoke.

"I'm pretty sure I can. I have Iain and the Omega team." He nodded.

Then my father held me in his arms for the first time in sixteen long years. And I held back the tears of joy and grief and regret that pooled hotly behind my eyes.

"Let me know what you need." His voice emanated from somewhere above my left ear. "Anything and anyone. Iain will help, I'm sure."

I didn't pay much attention to his words. It was the feel of his arms around me I reveled in.

***

Outside, splotches of bloody ocher etched the sky, which grew brighter as the night receded.
I stood at my window for a long time, soaking up the silence of the house. Everyone had cleared out except for Logan. He'd insisted on sleeping on the couch in case I needed him. My heart warmed at the thought. I didn't like the distance between us, and I would soon rectify that.

The sun was rising.

Burnt orange flames bled into an inky night sky, bright yellow fingers of light followed eagerly. The new day was coming. Clean and bright. A chance to put things right.

My arm throbbed, but I ignored it to count my blessings. I hugged so many little gifts close to my heart. Held the hurts close too. My sister's hatred hurt me deeply, but I had to find her before she lost her soul forever. My uncle was dead, no redemption allowed to him at all.

And nothing I could do would change his fate.

Perhaps it was time he had some peace. At least Greer could try to make things better if we ever managed to bring her home.

The love that shone from my mother's eyes was a treasure I held closer. The woman I'd grown up thinking had abandoned me, who I'd half-missed and half-hated over the last sixteen years, who had proved to me that she possessed a love for her children that was self-sacrificing and altogether incomparable. My mother. And this whole disaster had brought my father closer to me than I’d ever dared to hope. It's not as if I suddenly stopped being angry with them. But I allowed myself to understand a little more why they did what they did.