Authors: T. M. Brenner
42
I
head to our room. Flot isn't there, but I didn't expect him to be. I take off my armor, grab a clean set of clothes and a bar of soap. I walk to the loud waters. I don't see anyone I know there, but that is normal.
I wash away the sweat that I worked up during the hunt. I rub the soap into my hair and my face then down my body, cleaning my legs, arms, and everything else. Then I lie down in the water, flat on my back.
I keep my eyes closed, and feel the water across my skin, much like I did when I felt the breeze near the killing fields. It makes me wonder if things wouldn't be better for the Crag if I just stayed here, underwater, forever.
I know it wouldn't, because even if Chaff died, his idiot sons would just take over. Things would probably be even worse than when Chaff was alive. That, and I don't want to die.
I sit up, take a deep breath, and go back underwater. I scrub what little soap still clings to my skin until I feel normal again. Once I'm sure that I am rinsed I stand up, collect my things, and head to the Great Fire.
I try to dry myself as quickly as I can. I wipe myself dry with my shirt then ring the water out of it. It is easier for me to hang my shirt over the fire to dry than my skin. Normally I don't like my clothes smelling like smoke, but it doesn't matter to me much right now. Finally, my body is dry, and eventually so is my shirt. I put on my clothes and make my way to the feast.
I stand in line for food, and I check to make sure both Ebb and Flot have made it to dinner safely. I see Ebb first, picking at her deer and some bread that is made out of corn. It is one of my favorites, and normally it would make me happy, but nothing is normal right now.
I realize that this will be the first time since Jet died that Chaff will see me. I have seen him asleep, full of drink, and trying to have his way with Ebb. It makes my stomach sick just thinking about it. I hope he doesn't try to talk to me. But if he does, what do I say?
After I get my food, I walk over to the head table and sit down between Mast and Helm. I look up at Chaff. I am surprised, because he doesn't seem happy like I thought he would be. I would have thought he'd want to gloat about Jet's death, and how he got the better of me. But instead, he looks uncomfortable.
I look down at my food and eat. It tastes okay, but I don't enjoy it. Food doesn't really have much flavor to me right now. I have another memory in my mind of Chaff following Ebb, and I gag on my bread a little. It takes everything I have to fight it, to make myself swallow the food, because I need the food.
My eyes move upward, and I see Chaff whispering to Scythe. Scythe then turns to Mast and whispers to him. Mast turns to me, and before he even has the chance to say a word, I look up at Chaff, and speak.
"I understand."
My voice sounds dead and without emotion. Cold, and tired, and weak. Chaff stares at me for a moment then goes back to eating. He doesn't look at me the rest of the meal.
Mast whispers to me.
"How did you know what he was going to ask?"
"Because all Chaff cares about is control. He wonders if he finally went too far. He is smart enough to know that he can only push people so far before they kill. Chaff does not know me well enough to know if I will kill him, no matter how bad that would be for the Crag, or for Flot. So he is trying to find out if I will be weak now, and accept his control," I say.
"And have you?" asks Mast.
"I have made him think that. That is all that really matters," I say.
"You're not planning to kill him?" asks Mast.
"No. I won't kill him," I say.
Mast's shoulders relax.
"I am sorry, Sam, but if you tried, I would have to stop you. Even if it meant..."
"I know. You don't have to tell me. If that is the way I die, then I will be glad it is at your hands, and not his."
"I don't want to kill you Sam. I don't know if I could live with myself after that. I would do it to protect the Crag, but it would destroy me. So do not try to kill him, not just for your sake, but for mine."
Mast's words surprise me. There have been times where Mast seems to like me, but this is the closest to real emotions I have seen him show.
I finish my meal. I can actually taste what I'm eating now, instead of just forcing myself to chew my food. The bread made out of corn is good, and the deer meat is better.
"I am done, and I'm going to bed now," I say.
"Do you need someone to watch over you and Flot tonight?" asks Mast.
"Ebb is going to," I say.
"It seems like the pair of you have grown together," says Mast.
"She is a good friend."
I take my bowl to the stack of dirty bowls and add it to the pile. I walk over to Ebb and place a hand on her shoulder.
"Are you ready?" I ask.
"Yes," says Ebb.
Ebb stands up and follows me out of the feast chamber.
"So, you are going to start tonight then?" asks Ebb, once we're alone.
"Yes."
"What are you planning to do?"
"I guess the first thing I need is seeds," I say.
"What are seeds?"
"They're what make plants grow."
"How will you get them? I would think that Chaff has to hide them somewhere," says Ebb.
"I am sure he does, but I don't know where. I haven't tried following him, because it would be obvious if I did. He would only go there in the day, and I couldn't follow him out in the open. He might also know if I took some. I'm hoping that I can steal some vegetables from the kitchen and use those. I don't think Cleave keeps track of things like that."
"I hope she doesn't. If you get caught stealing food, they will kill you," says Ebb.
"Only if someone were to tell the protectors. I don't think the cooks would," I say.
"Still, you don't know if they would."
"Cleave wouldn't."
"No, Cleave wouldn't. The others... it's hard to say."
"I also can't ask Cleave to gather the seeds for me. I don't want her to know what I'm up to, and I don't want to put her in danger," I say.
"I hadn't even thought of asking her, but I agree. Better not to tell anyone else what you're planning," says Ebb.
"You know, Cleave wants Chaff gone just as much as I do. She was going to poison his food with wolfsbane."
"Really? I like Cleave even more now."
"Me too," I say, smiling. "But I stopped her. I told her that I had a plan that would get rid of Chaff, and we would still have food to eat."
"Then you already told her most of the plan," says Ebb.
"I had to. It was the only way I could keep her from poisoning Chaff. If I hadn't told her, I think she would have tried killing him again. She loved Jet," I say.
"I didn't know that she really knew him."
"Most people loved Jet. He was very honest and brave. There isn't enough of either in the Crag, and I think people liked him for it."
We reach our room.
"Ebb, can you wait until you think that everyone else in the Crag is asleep, then let me know?" I ask.
"I can do that."
I go inside the room, take off my clothes, and rest. Eventually, I hear Flot come in and do the same. I can tell that he is still having nightmares. He moves around a lot in his sleep, and his face almost always looks worried. I wish I could save him from his dreams, but I need him to sleep if I'm ever going to try my plan.
Ebb comes into the room and puts her hand on my chest to wake me. I was only half-asleep, but it startles me just the same. I look up into her eyes and she smiles, then nods, telling me I need to go now.
I get out of bed, and as quietly as possible I put on my clothes. I look over at my suit of armor and notice my knives. Should I take them? Then I ask myself, what would I do with them? I don't have an easy way to carry them in my clothes. If one of them dropped, it would make so much noise that I would definitely be caught.
I also wonder what would I use it for. I'm not going to kill one of the protectors if I am found. So I decide to leave them there. I take my glowing stick though, even though it is not burning, so that I can see outside of the Crag.
I am finally ready. I look back at Flot to make sure he's still asleep, and it seems like his nightmares have passed. He is quietly snoring, and for the first time in a long while, he looks how young he is. With everything that has gone on lately, he acts like someone who has seen many more snows than he actually has.
I walk out of the room, give Ebb a smile, and then make my way down the twisting tunnels of the Crag. I make sure only to take a few steps at a time then listen for the protectors. It takes a while, but I can't risk making any mistakes.
I sneak into the cooking room. There are many baskets of vegetables sitting out, waiting to be made into dinner. I had thought I would pick some, but I have no idea how closely Chaff watches his gardens and fields. I take a few tomatoes, some cabbage, and some peppers.
I use the light from glowing sticks inside people's rooms to see my way around the dark tunnels. I do not chance lighting my own glowing stick yet. I make it to the room closest to the mouth of the cave and look inside. I see Shackle, one of the protectors of the Crag. He sleeps on the ground, wrapped up in animal furs.
He is a large man, and his body is in the way of his glowing stick. It is burning dimly on the wall. I put a foot over Shackle, and against the wall that his glowing stick is attached to. It keeps me from falling over. I stretch as far as I can, and I am just barely able to get my own glowing stick to light. I carefully push against the wall with my foot, pulling it back down to the ground. I then turn and leave his room.
A flicker of light and dark move in front of me, and I think that someone is there. It takes me a moment to realize it is just a shadow, cast from my glowing stick. I make my way outside the cave, with the peppers and tomatoes in my pockets, and the cabbage in my hand.
Off in the distance I can hear a wolf howling. It sounds far enough away that it shouldn't bother me. I also don't plan to travel very far for what I'm about to do. I have to find a place where others will follow, because they believe it is safe, but people won't go to on their own.
I decide it should be somewhere in the killing fields. Only hunters travel there, and now that I am the Leader of the Hunt, they travel only where I tell them to. I will find a spot away from the cave, and I will make sure that I know where it is so I can avoid it when we hunt.
After walking to a place that I think will work well, I put the glowing stick in the dirt, standing up. I then carefully pull the tomatoes and peppers from my pockets. I only cook eggs sometimes for Flot and... Jet... so I don't really know anything about vegetables.
I hold up one of the tomatoes, and I remember that I'm supposed to look for something called seeds. I look all over the tomato, but the only thing I see are leaves, and the round outside of the tomato.
I decide to tear open the tomato. I split the skin open, and inside is a slimy mess. I scoop out some of the goo, and hold it close to my glowing stick. I see these little round things, like tiny stones inside. My guess is that these are the things that Chaff has told us were pieces of poison. The things he collects in baskets and gets rid of to keep us safe. Maybe he doesn't get rid of them at all. Maybe those are seeds. I do my best to pull a few out of the goo.
The other thing I remember from the Book of Knowledge is that I need to put the seeds in the ground. I have seen the fields before things grow in them, and I know that the dirt has been broken up where the plants eventually grow.
I hold the seeds in one hand, and dig with the other. I pull up grass, trying to make a large square to put the seeds in. I realize that with the cabbage and peppers, I will want to dig first before I try planting them, so that I can use both hands.
Once I have enough dirt turned over, and grass removed, I place the seeds in the dirt. I try to spread them out, because I remember that the plants in the harvest gardens are spread out, and I don't know how big they will get.
I pick up the cabbage and hold it up to my glowing stick. I don't see any seeds on the outside either. I tear into it, but the more I tear, the more it just falls apart. I am unable to find any seeds inside of the cabbage.
It bothers me, because I can't understand how it grows. Then I realize that maybe the seeds come from somewhere else on the plant, because the head isn't the only part of a cabbage plant. So I won't be able to plant any cabbage without stealing some from the gardens. I'm not going to risk Chaff figuring out my plan, so I give up on the cabbage.
I move on to the peppers. I had grabbed one red and one orange pepper. They are both the size of my fist. Some peppers are very hot, but these are not that hot. I do not see any seeds on their outsides, so I tear into the red one. Inside there are seeds. I'm excited to see so many, and I'm happy that they aren't covered in goo. I pull out all of the seeds that I can, and I plant them as quickly as possible. I do the same with the orange peppers.
After I am sure that I've finished, I bury the remaining pieces of cabbage, peppers and tomatoes away from my makeshift garden. I don't want animals to come near what I am growing, because a deer could just as easily ruin my plans as Chaff.
That makes me realize I will need to build a small wall to protect the garden from animals. I can start working on that tomorrow night, because I know it will be a while before the vegetables start growing. I do my best to wipe the dirt off of my hands, grab my glowing stick then walk back toward the Crag.
When I get to the mouth of the Crag, I put my glowing stick out in the wet clover. I look around and make sure that no one happens to be passing by right then. I don't see anyone, so I sneak back inside.
I stick to the shadows as much as possible to avoid being seen. I go past Shackle's room and see that he is still asleep, snoring like a new one. A very, very loud new one.
I keep walking further down the tunnel, passing rooms, avoiding the light of people's glowing sticks. It takes me a while, but I eventually reach our room. Ebb looks at me as if she had a question to ask. I smile and nod my head, letting her know that everything went well. Her body relaxes and she smiles.
Flot is still asleep, which is good. I put my glowing stick back in its place on the wall. I lie down under my fur blanket and pull it over my face. It takes a while to fall asleep, because I keep seeing Jet's lifeless body when I close my eyes.