SLAM HER (20 page)

thirty

(belle)

*NOW*

The hangover lingered for most of the day. Greasy food, a shower, and a meet up with Ashley took care of it. I convinced her I was just feeling run down and nothing more. She bought it. Her wedding dramas continued and I sat there, sipping coffee, listening. I think her stress helped to calm my pounding head. By that end of our meet up, she was the one popping pills for a headache. Then she took out some pink liquid for indigestion.
That’s what marriage does to a person?

I took the long way home, heading west, wondering if I should go to the coast. I said
fuck it
and just started driving. I went right to the spot where Slam had taken me. Right to Angie’s pizza place. I didn’t go inside or anything. I didn’t want to stir up any weird conversation. I pulled to the side of the road and battled my way down the rocks to get to the ocean. More than once I slipped, trying my best not to scream so I didn’t attract attention to myself.

I found a decently dry rock and sat down.

The water rushed to the shore, waves slamming against the rocks. Then the water was sucked right back out, only to repeat the same thing over and over. Some kind of cycle of life. My mother told me there was meaning behind the ocean. The push, the pull. The waves. The tides. That it all represented life. The last few months we had together all we did was go to the ocean. And she talked about things I didn’t understand until she was gone.

I cried a little but I thought even more. I shouldn’t have done that to Slam. Putting him on the spot. Tempting him like that. I must have seemed so desperate and pathetic, telling him I loved him as I stood there, stripping naked, describing how wet my body was.

Just thinking about it made me blush.

I stayed until the sun started to set.

I didn’t want to drive the long and winding roads in the dark.

I climbed back up the rocks - without slipping once - and walked to my car.

As I drove away, I felt like I was saying goodbye…
to everything.

I held myself together. Halfway through the drive, everything changed.

I thought I saw something on the side of the road so I slowed down. I wasn’t sure what the hell it was at first. Definitely not a car. It was getting too dark to really see, but my headlights took care of that part.

Within seconds I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was Slam.

On the side of the road with his motorcycle. He leaned against it like he was just so casual about it. Like he was waiting for me.

I was in shock for a couple seconds.

Then I pulled to the side of the road up behind him.

He didn’t move an inch until I opened the door and climbed out of the car. I turned the car off but twisted the key enough to get the headlights to turn back on. I had no idea what to expect and we didn’t have
much light left from the setting sun.

“Slam?”

He turned and stepped from the motorcycle. He stood between the two beams from the headlights.

In any other world this would have been a scary situation. A guy like Slam, so big and menacing, standing there, staring me down.

“We have a lot to talk about,” he said to me.

“What are you doing here?”

“Showing you something I’ve never shown anyone else.”

I stepped toward, into the light.

I could see into his eyes and they were as intense as ever.

“Which is what?” I asked.

“I’m giving you everything of me,” he said. “I don’t give a damn anymore about everyone else, Belle. I singled you out to hurt you because of your father. Because he hurt me. Because he took my freedom. So I wanted to take yours, babe. That’s why I went after you so hard. I knew things about you before you told me. You were a project to me. A purpose. A goal. That was it.”

I heard the words one by one, striking my head first, my heart second.

The sun kept setting. The world kept getting darker.

And Slam just stood there like a giant.

“That’s the fucking truth,” he said to me. “But the second I saw a glimpse of your heart, it changed my entire life. I’m the asshole muscle of the Reap, babe. I pick fights for fun. You saw what I did to that guy at the bar, right? That was the first night I met you. From that second you were stabbing daggers into my chest. I’m sorry I can’t change everything for you. I can’t go back and stop it all from happening. But what I can do is try to make it acceptable. I see it in your eyes, Belle, you have a little piece of an outlaw in you. All that you want. All that you feel you can’t have. That’s bullshit, babe. You want something, take it. You’re too beautiful to just sit in the background, waiting.”

I felt the emotion rage through me. Slam was going to use me? Slam had been trying to set my father up? That’s what this was all about?

Before I knew what I was doing, my right hand went for a ride. I swung and smacked Slam in the face. The crack echoed, along with my whimper. I was pretty sure I hurt myself more than I hurt him.

I turned and cradled my hand.

Slam touched my shoulder and I wanted to shake him away, but I didn’t.

“Babe, I’m telling you everything right now. Your father set me up through a fake witness. He screwed both of us. I got a hold of that witness and instead of killing him, I gave him to your father. A sign of power without violence. You’re the reason I made that decision to skip violence for once in my life. And I’m not done there yet. I meant what I said to you when you were drunk. If I wanted to do anything bad I could have right then. But seeing you in that position… fuck, Belle, it killed me a little.”

His hand eased down my back and touched my waist. He got closer to me, pressing his chest to my back.

“You rejected me,” I said. “When I was so vulnerable. And then you left me.”

“Shit, babe, I didn’t leave you. I made sure you were okay. Then I had to take care of some business.”

“When does that end? The business?”

“It doesn’t,” he said without hesitation. “This is what I do. The Reap controls this town and keeps it safe. I know you know that. Your father is learning that too. This isn’t about cops and criminals anymore, it goes way beyond that.”

“Meaning what?”

Slam put his cheek to mine. “I want you forever, Belle. I want you to be my family. The family I never had. The family that was ripped from my soul. I’m the one vulnerable right now, babe. You have every right to kick me in the balls and drive away. Shit, you can even run my ass over and I wouldn’t fault you. But I know in your heart there’s truth you haven’t faced. About your father, your life, this town, the Reap, and me. This will work because I want to protect you for the rest of my life. I want to hold you, make you fucking smile, and I want to trace miles of lines on your body with my fingers.”

“The fingers that have hurt so many people,” I whispered.

“Fingers that would never hurt you, babe.”

He was now killing me. His hands touching me. His breath everywhere. My toes curled in my shoes. I put my head back and hated myself for doing so. But I loved him. I had fallen so hard it was impossible to come back from.

“How did you find me?” I asked.

Slam laughed. “Auntie Ang called me.”

“No way.”

“You have no idea who that woman is. I can promise you that when we left that day, she called in favors to run checks on you. She knows more about you than I do probably. That’s just how she was raised to survive. She called to tell me she saw you on the rocks. Crazy ass woman. So I started to cruise your way, thinking you were trying something insane again. Then she called again to say you had left. So I pulled over to wait.”

“So you stood there and waited for…”

“For you,” he said. “For you, Belle. And I would stand right here for the rest of my life waiting for you.”

“I want to be pissed at you, Slam.”

“You should be.”

“But I’m not. You said it right… the truths I know.”

“I’m not lying about anything, babe. What you have right now is what you’ll have as long as you want it. I’m not going anywhere. Neither is the Reap.”

“I’m not going anywhere either, Slam. My life has been nothing short of a mess, even before I lost my mother. But then you came crashing into my life. You saved me, Slam. And that wasn’t part of a plan. I could feel that you were jealous.”

“I don’t get jealous.”

I looked back at him. “Yes you do. All the time. I love that about you.”

I forced myself to turn around. I faced Slam.

“Yeah, right,” Slam said. “I wanted to claim you, Belle. That I did. That had nothing to do with anyone else or any motives. I claimed you. I knew what I was doing all this time when we were together. I knew you were untouched. I knew you never experienced anything real in the bedroom. It drives me wild. And I didn’t reject you, babe. I wasn’t taking that opportunity at that time. Call it the right thing to do, I call it a sign of my love for you, Belle. You were drunk. You were so emotionally beat up. You needed to feel loved, so that’s what I did. Not physical, but inside your heart.”

“How romantic,” I said.

“I don’t mesh well with that word.”

“Did you really mean it?”

“What?”

“You really love me?”

“Yes, Belle, I really love you.”

“Then you’re going to do exactly what I say to do.”

I had this sudden burst of power shoot through my body. I couldn’t believe what there was racing through my mind. It was such a pivotal moment in my life. I was tired of waiting. It was all I’d been doing. Just waiting.
No more.

I reached up and touched Slam’s face.

“Okay?”

“Anything you want,” he said to me.

“Do you love me?”

“I already said yes.”

“Good.” I stepped back until I hit the hood of the car.
“Right now, Slam… fuck me.”

Fuck me.

The words slipped out of my mouth knowing I’d never put them back in. Knowing I was going to look desperate and vulnerable. But I didn’t give a shit. I was in love with Slam and I wanted him. What more of a perfect moment than right there on the side of the road were Slam had saved me once before? I didn’t need some romantic night or some perfect setting. I had the perfect outlaw with the perfect body.

“Right now,” I whispered.

I waited for Slam to protest but he didn’t. He came right at me. His hands pulled me from the hood of the car, standing me back up. Pressing at my lower back, our bodies tight together. I could feel his cock already getting thicker.

“If that’s what you want, that’s what you’re going to get,” he whispered.

His lips flirted above mine. It was freaking torture. Then he kissed me.

The rush was instant throughout my body.

His hands came around and touched the front of my jeans. He went right to work.

Holy shit… it was going to happen.

Plus, how hot of a story was it to have that I lost my virginity on the hood of car on the side of the road? That alone would make the wait worth everything.

“Babe, I’m going to need a lot of room,” Slam said, breaking the kiss. “These jeans and panties are coming off.”

I bit my lip and nodded.

Slam slipped his fingers to my hips and pushed. I felt my jeans and panties start to slide down my body. I leaned back, putting my hands to the hood of the car. Slam moved me so I was between the two headlights. Some of the light reflected off the chrome of his ride, giving us enough light to see everything.

When my ass touched the hood, I jumped. I settled the best I could, my heart racing uncontrollably, and Slam stripped my jeans down to my ankles. Crouching down, he pulled my shoes off and did the same to my jeans. His hands then grabbed my panties and he took them off and dropped them on my jeans.

“Holy shit,” I whispered.

Slam stood back up, towering over me. He slipped his left hand to the back of my neck. He grabbed my hair and pulled, making me look up at him. He came forward and leaned down, kissing me again. Fuck, it was such a wild and hot kiss. We ran the risk of getting caught with each second passing by. The night was fully settling in. My day had gone from something lonely and tragic to this.

To the hottest moment of my life.

Slam touched my inner thigh and crept up, his fingertips grazing between my legs. Two fingers curled, gently stroking against my clit. He slipped them back down and thrust them forward, entering me. I bucked at him, groaning.

A second later, his fingers were out of me. His lips left mine. I feared he was going to try and leave me again.

“You’re ready,” he whispered. “So am I, babe. You want my cock? Get it.”

I shuddered head to toe. My inner thighs shivered with anticipation.

Slam put his hands to my bare waist and stared down.