Sleep Stalker (Ghosts Beyond the Grove Book 1) (19 page)

     And what I got back was waves of laughter because he knew I couldn’t stay mad at him for long.  When he saw that I’d cooled off in more ways than one, he made another serious suggestion.

     “Why don’t we go back inside?  You look cold.  And you should probably say goodbye to Zach before you leave.”

     “No—seeing him like this throws me off my game.  I have enough time to go home and pack some of his things for him before he leaves for Charlotte’s Grove.  And then I have some packing of my own to do.  I need to stay focused and not let an emotional goodbye get in my way.”

     I whipped my car keys out of my jacket pocket and leapt from the bench, fighting the encroaching tears as I strode to the car.  “You can head back to Sophie now.  It’s okay—I got this.”

     Clay lingered in the lot until I was well on my way.  I watched in the rearview as he faded away slowly, clearly hesitant to leave me alone.  Yet again, I found myself leaving the security of the familiar in search of the unknown. 

     I’ll admit, I cried the instant I walked into our bedroom and tried to decide what all to pack for him.  I broke down.  I crumbled.  But when Foxy jumped down from the bed and landed effortlessly at my feet, I reminded myself that I needed to do the same.  There was a point when she was dying and Zach nursed her back to health.  I needed to pull myself together and land on my feet for my sake as well as his. 

     Realizing how much time I’d lost by crying and pitying myself, I hurriedly grabbed as much of his clothing as I could jam into his duffle bag and ran out the door.  I got to the hospital just in time to see his mother walking in through the main door.

     “I packed some clothes for him,” I said, thrusting the bag in her direction.  “I don’t think it’s best for him to see me right now.  Let me how he’s doing, okay?”  Then I turned my back and walked away. 

     “Ruby!  Wait!  Come back!” Diane called after me but I chose to keep moving.

     Moving.  Keep moving.  Keep moving forward.  I kept repeating that concept to myself until I was miles away from the hospital, miles away from Zach.  I would never find the answer unless I continued to go forth.

31.  Spaced Out

    
     I don’t know which part of it made me happier—knowing that I was leaving that wretched hospital or knowing that I was leaving Liberty and Ruby behind.  That girl was nothing but trouble.  She was more emotionally damaging to me than Misty ever was.  She was everything I wanted but couldn’t have.  Why would she spend an entire year making me think she was someone she wasn’t?  An
entire
year of being the kind of girlfriend I’d always dreamed of and then switch personalities overnight? 

     I hated her.  I loved her.  I wanted to be with her every second of the day.  I never wanted to see her face again.  The month I spent back home rejuvenated me.  I needed that again—this time, maybe for good.  Seeing my mother standing there with my bags already packed made me realize that Ruby probably felt the same way about me.  But why go to such extremes?  If she didn’t want me anymore, she should have just broken up with me instead of driving me insane.  She was a cruel, wicked bitch and she was draining the life right of me.

     But in order to leave, I was going to need the strength to move.  No matter how hard I tried, though, my muscles wouldn’t work.  It felt like my body was eating itself alive.  She was inside me like a parasite wriggling around.  A beautiful, sensual parasite that I could no longer live without.  She was more in control of me than I was. 

     When mom saw how bad I was struggling to right myself, she rang for the nurse.  A few minutes later she was in a heated debate with the doctor in regards to my “condition”.  That’s how they pronounced that word—all of them.  I could feel the invisible quotation marks, hear the words none of them wanted to speak to my face.  They all thought I was crazy and why shouldn’t they?  I couldn’t explain to them that Ruby was the cause of this all.  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.

     “I want to go home, Mom!  Back to Charlotte’s Grove.  Now!  I don’t
care
if they have to scoop me up and dump me into a wheelchair!  Just get me the hell outta here!”

     Every voiced hushed but my own.  Without pause, they did exactly what I asked them to do and wheeled me out to my mom’s car.  The cool air revived me enough that I was able to stand up and with minimal assistance, place myself in the passenger seat.  For the first twenty minutes, Mom attempted to converse with me.  Small talk was all it was so I merely grunted in reply.  Then came the silence.  Awkward yet welcome silence.

     She went to severe extremes to try to snap me out of my funk.  She even pulled out the biggest weapon in her arsenal—polka music.  Mom knew how much I hated it and she was hoping to elicit my usual response to it.  I should have been arguing with her.  I should have been trying to change the station or turning the radio off completely.  Yet I did none of those things.  Instead, I pressed my cheek to the window and resigned myself to another hour and a half of bellowing accordions and Polish lyrics I didn’t understand.

     You see, there was worse music playing inside my brain.  The incessant beating of my own drums, the sound of her laughter as she danced for me.  While in English, those mental lyrics were just as indecipherable.  Love.  Torture.  Longing.  Enslavement.  Need.  Desire.  I could easily block out the Chicken Dance but not this.  The first day away from her would inevitably be the hardest one, right?  All I had to do was get through the initial pain of separation and I would be just fine.  Ruby showed that she truly didn’t need me in her life—I needed to show her the same thing.

     When we got home, I stumbled into the house and immediately collapsed onto the couch, spent.  Neither Mom nor Dad tried to talk to me but I could hear the worry in their hushed tones drifting in from the kitchen.  I couldn’t tell them what was wrong with me but that was okay.  Soon, you see, I
was
going to be okay.  Without Ruby in my life, my health would return to normal.  But it was going to take a while.  In the meantime, I lay there like a zombie and fixed my gaze on the clock on the wall.

     Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  Think of Ruby ‘round the clock.  

32.  Down to the Wire

     Once I left that hospital parking lot, I didn’t look back.  Zach was in good hands now.  I needed to accept the fact that the only way I could help him was from a distance.  An incredibly
long
distance at that.  When I got home and Googled the distance from Liberty to Tucson, I almost peed my pants.  Almost 2000 miles.  Now, the two hundred miles from Charlotte’s Grove to Liberty seemed about as adventurous as crossing the street. 

     I’d never been one to dream of vacations or travel in general—the exact opposite of my mom so it seemed.  But this trip was necessary and perhaps even a matter of life or death.  As soon as I got back to the apartment, I sat down at the kitchen table and made a list of everything I needed to do and the order I needed to do them in.

     First up was a call to Roxanne.  Taking the time zone difference into account, I figured that it was early enough that she would still be at Studio Tutu.  My reasoning was dead on.  She picked up on the second ring and didn’t seem at all surprised to hear from me.  I explained that I was making plans to fly out there as soon as possible and was hoping to talk to her in person.  When I told her that I felt I needed to experience Sedona in person in order to better connect with my mother, she laughed and said one thing only.

     “Like mother, like daughter!”

     Little did she know that I choked up when I heard those words.  It was a phrase I wasn’t accustomed to hearing.  I didn’t grow up around tons of people who knew her and could tell me stories about her and how much we were alike.  All I had was my dad who chose to leave the past in the past every opportunity he got.

     Roxanne then proceeded to explain that remark.  “We had no plans of stopping in Sedona—it wasn’t on our itinerary at all.  But something strange happened the night before we were set to leave the Grand Canyon and she insisted that we had to stop there.  But I guess it would be easier if I waited until you get here to tell you the whole story.”

     So strange things happened to my mother, too.  I wasn’t surprised.  Dad hinted at the fact that Mom was weird like me but I don’t think he knew anything for certain.  I couldn’t wait to set foot in Arizona.  If I could have closed my eyes and teleported there instantly, I would have.  And for two seconds, I actually
did
concentrate to see if I had that power before realizing how stupid it really was.  Ghosts and curses were real—teleportation wasn’t.  Another thing that was real?  My truly warped sense of reality.

     I agreed to let Roxanne know the details of my flight the very minute I knew them myself then we said goodbye.  With a monumental sense of purpose, I turned to the next thing on my to-do list.  I needed to talk to Addie to confirm my time off from work before I made my reservations.  And to ask her for a huge favor. There were still two furry little details that stood in my way but she could help me with that too.

     Addie’s phone barely finished its first ring before she answered it enthusiastically.  She greeted me not with a hello but with a mile long monologue.

     “It’s all systems go as far as Poe’s Corner is concerned.  All of your shifts for an entire week are covered after tomorrow.  I called everyone on the payroll and explained that it was an emergency situation.  There was only one shift no one was able to take so I took it myself.  I’ve worked from open to close before and for much less important reasons.  I even convinced Derek to give up his geek gamer night for this.  This entitles me to a souvenir from Sedona, doesn’t it?  I’ll take a nice big chunk of labradorite if you please!  Then the next time I’m home, Granny can set it up as a necklace for me.”

     Whoa.  Addie was in super southern Rachel mode.  I had no idea what labradorite was or where to find it but I made her the following offer.  Then added “Google labradorite” to my list of things I needed to take care of before setting off on my adventure.

     “How about
three
chunks of labradorite so you can have some matching earrings for that necklace?  All you have to do is keep an eye on my fur babies for me while I’m gone.  Please?”

     Foxy, who had been sitting at my feet since I got home, gave me a sassy little meow as though she knew I was about to temporarily abandon her.  She was more Zach’s cat than she was mine and she was seriously irritated the last time he left.  But without me around, she was going to be even more upset.  We were both trying what little feline patience she had.  If there had been a way to explain to her that it was all for the best, I would have.  But with that being impossible, the only thing I could do was find her and Coco a reliable babysitter for the time being.

     “I give ya a biscuit and now ya want my whole chicken dinner?  Ha ha…I’m just kiddin’ ‘round with ya, girl.  Of course I’ll watch your little ones for ya!”

     I knew she was kidding, of course, but there was one other thing I needed that just now entered my mind.  And this would absolutely be the whole chicken dinner—plus dessert. 

     “Thanks, Addie!  They’ll probably hide when you walk in so all you’ll need to do is feed, water, and leave.  Oh, and scoop a few poops.  I know I’m a real pain in the ass right now but—” I hated to ask for another favor so soon after the first two but this request was crucial.  If she said no, I would absolutely have to let Shelly in on my plans which I desperately did not want to do.

     “But what?  And why do I think I’m gonna regret askin’?”

     “Feel free to say no to this one, but there’s one other thing I need to pull off this little adventure—a ride to the airport.  The day I rode with Zach’s parents to pick him up, I had anxiety attacks in those tunnels and I wasn’t even the one driving.  Or even if you can’t do it, do you know someone else who will?  I’m willing to pay for gas, lunch, whatever.  You could even take my car if you need to.  I just have to get to the Pittsburgh Airport in one non-anxiety stricken piece.” 

     I took a deep breath and waited for her to tell me I was crazy for even asking for such a huge favor from someone I’d only known for a few months.  But what I got was a cryptic answer.

     “Can I put ya on hold for a minute?  I need to use the other line.”

     “Sure,” I said quietly, not knowing if this was a good sign or a bad one.  As I sat there waiting, I plucked the pigeon feather from its home behind my ear.  I now knew at least part of the reason my mom chose feathers as her sign to me but I would have to wait until I got to Arizona to hear the whole story.  My mother’s past was a prequel to the story of my life and I couldn’t wait to read every available page.  But I
had
to wait and it was killing me.