Authors: Adams,Claire
CHAPTER 16
Lilah
I woke up with a bit of a hangover. I'd definitely had
too much to drink the night before. And that, of course, wasn't the only
problem. No, it had merely contributed to the other problem: Asher. Well, Asher
and myself. Together. Naked. Doing things that I couldn’t manage to stop
thinking about. Things we probably shouldn’t have done.
I guess I wasn't surprised to see that he was gone
when I woke up. What was I expecting, anyway? Morning cuddles, breakfast in
bed?
I was feeling a number of things at that moment–a
number of conflicting thoughts and emotions, all raging around inside of my
mind. For starters, I was upset, but not at Asher. At myself, more than
anything, for letting things get that far.
Yet, at the same time, part of me was happy it had
happened. I couldn't deny that he had been absolutely amazing in bed. It had
been so, so long since I'd experienced such a deep, physical connection with a
man. Not even with my ex-fiancé had I felt such an intense tangible attraction.
There had been other men, of course; it wasn't as if
I'd been celibate since Jacob and I had parted ways. However, they'd been
flings and they’d been few and far between. I hadn't been willing to let any of
them get as close to me, as intimate with me, as Jacob had once been. Because,
after all, that would only end with me getting hurt, with me getting my heart
broken…again. And, I was not about to let that happen.
Yet, there I was, lying naked in bed after a night of
passion with
my boss
, and despite
everything, part of me was
still
craving his presence, still longing for
his nude, sculpted body to be alongside mine–and to be
inside
me.
Somehow, he had made me want him, hunger for him in a
way that I hadn't for anyone in years. I couldn’t even say when I last craved a
man like I did Asher.
Shaking my head, trying to clear thoughts of him, I
walked over to the living room where I'd left my purse and looked through it
for my phone. The entire situation was way too confusing to be dealing with in
my groggy state of mind. I felt my heart start to beat a little faster as I
picked up my purse; irrational as it was, I couldn't help but hope there'd be a
message or missed call from Asher.
There wasn't.
I wasn't sure if I was relieved or upset about the
fact that he hadn’t contacted me at all. Especially considering the time—ten
a.m., way past the hour I usually got up. It really had been quite a night.
Still, seeing if Asher had messaged me hadn't been the
primary reason I'd searched for my phone. I needed to make a call. The only way
to handle the weirdness of this situation was to talk about it. I needed an
unbiased wall to bounce this off of.
I scanned through my contacts and dialed the one I was
looking for. She answered after a few short rings.
“Hey, Lilah!”
“Mornin’, Megs! How are things?”
“From the sound of your voice, things on my end are
better than on yours. What's up?”
“Ugh, I'm a bit hungover, but it'll pass. I had a bit
of a, er…situation last night. Are you free to meet up? Maybe get some brunch
and chat about it?”
“Yeah, of course I am. Crêpes and coffee at the
outdoor cafe by the park near your place?”
“That sounds perfect. See you there in an hour?”
“An hour sounds good. See you then!”
***
I walked up to the cafe and saw Meghan sitting at one
of the outdoor tables. She waved at me and greeted me with a big smile.
“Good morning, sunshine! How are you feeling?”
“Hey, Megs! I'm all right, I guess.”
“Hmm, that doesn't sound so convincing. Come on over
and have a seat. We'll have a chat about whatever it is that's got you all
twisted up.”
I sat down and ordered something to eat and a coffee,
then leaned back in my chair and shot a glance at Meghan.
“So…it happened,” I said.
“What happened?”
“Take a guess.”
A grin slowly started to spread across her face. “Holy
hell…you
slept with
Asher, didn't you?!”
I nodded.
“Oh my God! And, well, how was it?”
I tried not to, but I couldn't help but grin.
“Amazing. Like, this-only-happens-in-the-movies amazing.”
“Lilah! Seriously! Is he…as well-endowed
physically
as he is financially?” she gave me a questioning grin.
“He's got enough,” I replied with a laugh and a blush.
“But most importantly, he knows how to use it. And I mean, he
really
knows
how to use it.”
“I can't believe you! You strumpet,” she teased.
I suddenly couldn't believe I was being so candid
about the whole thing. And speaking about it almost as if it was an
achievement, rather than what it was—a mistake.
Or had it been a mistake?
I wasn't so sure whether it had been or not. Which was
precisely why I had needed to talk it out with Meghan, although she wasn't
being overly very helpful at the moment.
“All right, all right, enough discussing endowments.
I've got a real problem here, Meg, and I need to talk about it.”
“Okay, Lilipop. Sorry, it's just not that often my
best friend sleeps with a friggin'
billionaire
, you know. Still, let's
forget the novelty aspect and talk about how it's affecting you because it's
obviously getting to you in a major way. Am I right?”
“That you are. I mean, I explained the situation
before. He’s my boss. You know how I feel about this.”
“I know you said you weren't sure about how to
proceed. And that you were concerned getting involved with this guy would have
implications on your career, and that's why you were having doubts about
getting involved with him. So what changed?”
“Nothing. At least, not on the surface. After that
time we kissed, I did make an effort to put a bit of space between us. And it
seemed to work, initially at least. But after a while, looking back, we just
started getting closer and closer without consciously trying to do so. We ended
up working a lot of late nights together, and it’s so effortless to be myself
around him… We couldn't help but talk and joke. And, it's been so, so easy to
talk to him. It's like we've been friends for years and we’re on the same
wavelength, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. It's easy enough to fire small talk
back and forth with a guy, but to find one that you can really have a proper,
in-depth conversation with. Well, that’s hard.”
“Exactly, right? Guys you can talk so easily with
aren't exactly a dime a dozen. In fact, these days, they're pretty darn rare.”
“I can see how, subconsciously, you'd be falling for
him, Lilah. I mean, any woman in your shoes—especially if he's making it
obvious that he's got feelings for you—it would be damned hard not to
reciprocate those feelings.”
“Yes, and then you throw a little alcohol into the mix…
Maybe a lot of alcohol…”
A knowing glint entered her eyes. “Ah, well now it all
makes sense. The hangover, the talk
now
.
You guys slept together last night, didn't you?”
“Yep.”
“I figured it had happened recently, just wouldn’t
have initially banked on a few hours ago kind of recently.”
“Yeah.”
“All right. So, we're dealing with a very immediate
situation. Has he called or messaged you since last night?”
“Nope. He left before I woke up.”
Meghan sipped on her coffee and pondered this for a
moment.
“Well, I don't mean to be a drag, but generally that's
not the best sign.”
I rolled my eyes. “Uh yeah, ya think?”
I paused, immediately regretting my tone.
“Sorry, Meg, I didn't mean to be bitchy. I'm just, you
know, in a bit of a state right now.”
“I understand totally, sweetie. There's nothing to be
ashamed of or sorry for. I'm just here to support you, and don't worry, I can
handle a bit of bitchy! We’ve been friends for a while, remember?” she shot me
knowing grin.
I laughed, relieved at the brief levity. Still, there
were a lot of emotions that still needed to be dealt with.
“Have you tried calling him?” Meghan asked.
“No.”
“Good. Don't. I think that you should just wait it
out, see if he calls you.”
“Yeah, I guess that's the most sensible course of
action to take.”
“What's happened has happened, Lilah, and there's
nothing you can do to change it. The only things you need to be thinking about
now are how will you proceed from here? And, are you going to let this affect
me at work?”
I sipped on my coffee while thinking on these two
questions. Eventually, I answered.
“I'm not sure how I'm going to proceed long term,” I
replied, “but short term, I think that I'm going to try to keep my distance at
work. I'll just have to be more determined and focused about it.”
“What if he calls you, like, this afternoon or this
evening?”
“I won't answer.”
“And, what if he doesn't call you?”
“It'll just strengthen my resolve even more. There's
no way I'm going to let myself get emotionally distraught about this. No. Way.”
“You say that now-”
“And, I mean it.” I insisted.
“Well, if you do start to feel like a bit of a wreck,
I'm just saying,
if
you do-”
“I'll call you. Don't worry, Meg. I know who's in my
corner.”
“Always in your corner, Lilipop, always. So, do you
wanna take a stroll and go feed the ducks in the pond? And by feed the ducks, I
mean watch the hot guys jogging in the park. It's a beautiful day, and it'll
get your mind off things—at least temporarily.”
“Yeah,” I said, somewhat absentmindedly. “Take my mind
off things. Because hot guys will make me not think of the hot guy.” I smiled.
“You’ll thank me later,” Meghan said as she dropped
some cash on the table and grabbed my hand to pull me out of the chair. “Let’s
go.”
CHAPTER 17
Asher
I had tried calling Lilah from Costa Rica using the
satellite phone the day we’d arrived, but she hadn't picked up. I figured she'd
probably felt confused as to why a number from Costa Rica was trying to call
her, but it had been the only way I could get hold of her, or anyone else for
that matter, since the floods had taken out the area's internet and phone
reception.
So, I did the best I could and left her a message to
at least explain where I was going to be for a few days. I had even tried to
call her again when we headed back on Tuesday and I was back in the land of the
living—living communications, that is. But, again, no answer. I left her a
message to call me back, but that didn’t happen, either.
I tried to tell myself that she probably just didn’t
listen to the message on her cell phone because she didn’t recognize the
number. And, it was so late Tuesday night when the plane landed that I wasn’t
about to be inconsiderate and call at that hour.
So, when I finally got back to the office on
Wednesday, she and I hadn't actually communicated since we'd gotten drunk and
slept together.
The whole time I'd been in Costa Rica, I hadn't been
able to keep her off my mind. I wondered, however, if she'd been thinking the
same about me. I headed into my office without seeing her in the hallway. I
contemplated going to find her, but was informed that she would be in a meeting
with two of the Harry Winston executives for most of the morning. So, since
there were so many emails piled up from the days I'd been away, I got down to
business and started getting on top of everything I'd missed out on—all while
thoughts of Lilah ran through my head.
Eventually, I had replied to everything that needed
replying to and took care of all the tasks that needed taking care of immediately.
I looked at the clock to see it was just in time for lunch. I headed out into
the hall and over to Lilah's office and knocked on the door.
Nobody answered.
“Lilah?” I called through the closed door. There was
still no response.
I gently pushed open the door and found the office was
empty. The sight immediately sent a wave of disappointment rushing through me.
All morning, I'd been hoping we would have the chance to talk about what had
happened over lunch. But at the moment, I was beginning to get the feeling that
maybe she was avoiding me, ducking out for lunch five minutes early.
I could only hope I was wrong, but that gut feeling
was twisting inside me and I felt like hitting my head against a wall. I forced
myself not to text her. The last thing I wanted was to come across as pushy.
I went back out into the hallway and trudged out on my
own. We'd run into each other eventually, but I hated letting something like
this drag out. I’ve always been a big fan of trying to keep things as simple as
possible, in most areas of my life, at least. I headed out of the building and
onto the street, lost in my thoughts. I was intending to go to my now usual
lunch spot at the cafe around the corner, but at the last minute, I caught a
whiff of pizza lingering in the air and I changed my mind.
I headed across the street and around the block to a
great little pizza joint that I didn't go to often enough. Mainly because pizza
was definitely a cheat food and not technically allowed in my strict diet and
exercise regimen. Still, after three days of intense physical labor, I figured
I could get away with a cheat meal—or three.
Just as I stepped into the pizza joint, I saw Lilah
there, by herself, sitting at a table and eating a slice of pizza. She looked
up at me and a strange look flashed across her face. She smiled, though, and
the look was quickly gone. Still, something in her smile seemed kind of off.
I sat down across from her.
“Hey,” I said with a wink. “Fancy running into you
here.”
“Yeah. Just thought I'd try somewhere different,” she
said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin.
She wasn't making eye contact for more than a split
second. That gut feeling was jabbing at my stomach. I didn't like where this
was going.
“So, you were in Costa Rica the past few days?” she asked.
“Yeah. Things got a little crazy down there. It was
pretty tough work. I've got a wildlife sanctuary slash ecotourism place down
there, and-”
“I heard all about it around the office,” she
interrupted.
“Oh. There was no cell reception or internet down
there, just satellite phones for communication. I did try to call, but-”
“Yeah, I know,” she cut me off again. Her tone wasn’t
harsh, but there was something lurking beneath it that had me on high alert.
She looked up at me and look intently into my eyes.
When she began to speak, her voice was soft, bordering on sad.
“Look, Asher, I know you want to talk about what
happened on Friday night. But please, just give me a chance to say what I need
to say and respect my wishes on this,” her eyes pleaded with me as she paused.
I nodded and let her continue.
“What happened Friday night happened because we were
drunk, because we were tired and not ourselves after a week of extremely hard
work. It was just a way to release all the tension and stress that had been
building up. I'm not going to lie and say that it wasn’t incredible because it
was. But that said, I have to tell you that… Well, I think it was a mistake. A
mistake that we probably shouldn't repeat.
“The thing is, you're already at the top, Asher. But
please try to put yourself in my shoes. I'm not at the top and I
want
to be there, but I have a long way
to go. And, I want to get there entirely on my own merit. It’s something I need
to achieve solely because of my own talent, not because I'm sleeping with
someone who can pull strings and get me there,” she paused and looked at me
with pleading in her eyes. “Please tell me you understand.”
“I understand,” I said slowly, though I was still
trying to process everything she had just told me.
“Are you sure? Because the look on your face tells me
even you’re not so sure that you do.”
She stood abruptly, not waiting for my reply. “I'm
done with lunch,” she half-whispered. “See you back at the office.”
And with that, she hurried out of the restaurant and
was gone.