Slide Job (Cameron Motorsports) (8 page)

Chapter 9

Little fingers, soft as butterfly wings, reached out to brush Morgan’s tears away. Luminous blue eyes stared into hers, full of questions. “Don’t cry, Morgan. Is Lily your little girl? Is she lost?” Blond
e curls turned this way and that, following the slow turn of her head. “She’s not here.”

Lost to me, yes
. “No sweetie, Lily’s not lost.”

Annie’s eye’s brightened with a thought, and her lips gave the barest hint of a smile. “Is she with her daddy?” It was clear this pleased her. Coming from her point of view, it would.

Morgan took a deep breath and willed her tears away. She wondered if she would run out of tears someday. It didn’t feel like it would be anytime soon. Her head started to ache with the pressure. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, touching Annie’s shoulder softly with the other. Annie didn’t know how perceptive she really was. Kids just had a way of ripping her heart out when she wasn’t looking, and then handing it back to her with a smile.

“Yes, honey, she’s with her daddy.” Cheating, lying, scumbag that he was.

Annie’s little brow wrinkled in thought and she stared hard at Morgan. “Why?” She backed a step away, her eyes filled with all the caution a five-year-old could muster. “Are you a bad mommy?”

Bullseye! Oh...my...God. The pounding in her head reached its crescendo, doing double time on her temples. Nausea tossed the contents of her stomach in willful abandon.

In one blinding moment, innocence brought to light all the fear and guilt she’d carried for the last five years. No one had ever spoken those words aloud. They screamed and echoed in her head like bells inside a cavern. Was she a bad mommy?

At the time, everyone told her she’d done the best she could do. Why had it turned out so bad? She blamed herself, she knew. But who was left? Only her. So did it make her bad? All these years, she’d played the
if only
game. If only she’d done this differently or that differently. Well, that was the funny thing about life. Sometimes people only got one chance. She’d lived; it had to be her fault.
Didn’t it?

Evidently she’d taken too long to think about it and Annie had come to her own conclusion. She climbed up on the seat and got on her knees facing Morgan. She grabbed Morgan’s head and turned it to face her with one hand on either side, and pressed their foreheads together. Eye to eye, noses almost touching, she spoke, “I don’t think you’re a bad mommy. I think you’re a nice mommy.”

Those simple words were like springtime sunshine warming her frozen heart. The affectionate childish embrace liquefied the remaining ice crystals, smoothing them softly away.

Funny she should feel relief, hearing those uncomplicated words. Now that her paranoia receded just a bit, she realized where Annie was coming from. Her own mother had run off, leaving her alone.

There wasn’t any way for Annie to know what she’d said, or what train of thought left the station in Morgan’s mind. She’d have to put it away for now, but she knew there wouldn’t be any going back. When time allowed, she’d examine it, as she always did.

The rain slowed to a dull roar, cradling their world in darkness. Annie sat back on her heels, yawned hugely and blinked sleepy eyes in her direction. “I’m tired, is Daddy coming soon?”

Saved by the mercurial nature of children, Morgan slipped Annie off the seat. “Why don’t you sit on the couch and I’ll sit with you.” The sleepy-eyed child wobbled the few steps to the sofa and sat, taking off first one shoe and then the other.

Morgan grabbed the moccasin and placed it back in its drawer. She’d think about that another day. Her worries could wait. Annie needed her at the moment. She sat down easily next to Annie and covered them both with one of her mom’s old quilts.

Her mom had put them there to keep everyone wrapped in a warm hug when she wouldn’t be around to do it herself. This was a great comfort to Morgan and the crew. They loved the quilts.

“How about if we lay down for a bit? That’ll make the time go by faster and your daddy will be here before you know it.”

Annie immediately tipped herself sideways. Morgan moved the inert child closer to the front edge and spooned behind her with her rear against the back of the sofa. She wrapped her arm over Annie’s stomach, holding her close.

The pounding in her head eased as she inhaled the soapy fresh scent of little girl. Her heart filled and secretly thrilled to feel a child held in arms too long empty. Needs never acknowledged were met.

Rain slowed, softened the rough edges of evening. It allowed sleep to sweep in, smooth their furrowed brows, and carry them silently away.

*

Barely an hour later, Tyler swung open the door of the hauler and stopped short. The sight of Morgan sleeping snuggled around his daughter like the Madonna made his heart flutter in his chest.

Strange fulfillment gripped him. The vision of contentment they presented brought comfort to his battered spirit. Somehow he knew this image would stand engraved on his heart and stay with him always.

He stepped up inside and shut the door quietly behind him. A few paces brought him to the edge of the sofa where he knelt down, face-to-face with sleeping angels.

Morgan’s cropped dark curls wrapped with Annie’s sunshine blond
e ones, their faces both sublime in sleep. He didn’t want to wake them. He felt as though he could sit here, serenely, the rest of his days and watch over them.

Where had that come from?
Never mind. He didn’t have time for miracles, let alone the courage it took to face one. Lust did not a good wife make. He knew that from the first time. The flicker of warmth in his chest didn’t feel like it had the first time.

With Cindy, it had been hot. A flash of heat, a flare of lust, then she’d given him nothing but cold shoulders. Morgan made him feel different. Warm, like balmy breezes on a sandy beach, warm. He felt as though he could bask in it all of his days.

Whoa boy, that scared the crap out of him. More complications he didn’t need. Still, he felt driven to know her. Despite his better judgment, he wanted to know what made her smile, what made her cry.

She was funny, and honest. He’d watched her over and over be fair to her crew and helpful to her competitors. Always pleasant to her fans, she smiled and joked with them, no matter her mood. Even so, she carried a hint of deep sorrow around in eyes the color of fine Honduran mahogany, a rich, deep brown.

Wrapped tight as ol’ number seven’s oak whiskey barrels. No doubt about it. But why? The depth of her fascinated him. She had so many layers.

“Wake up, sleepy heads.” He stroked Morgan’s silky hair and ran his hand lightly across Annie’s cheek. “Time for dinner.”

Brown eyes opened slowly and blinked owlishly at him. Recognition dawning, Morgan sat up quickly, startling Annie.

Small hands reached out frantically.
“Mommmmyyyy!”

She cried out and sat up, reaching for Morgan. Trapped between the frightened child and the back of the couch, she simply took the child into her arms, stroked her hair.

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay.”

Morgan rocked her and murmured softly. She looked over Annie’s head to Tyler. Her raised eyebrows spoke volumes, asked dozens of questions.

Tyler looked her straight in the eyes. “Later.”

Annie was his first concern. He reached out to grasp Annie’s shoulder. “Hey there, angel Annie. Sorry to frighten you. It’s time to wake up, sleepy head.”

The smooth southern sound of Tyler’s voice brought the child to life. She spun out of Morgan’s arms and into his with a squeal of delight. “Daddy!”

“Hey, pretty girls, let’s go eat. Are you hungry?”

Annie hugged his neck and wrapped her legs around his middle as he stood up.

He held her on his hip with one arm and reached out to Morgan with the other. “Are you ready?”

“Uh, oh.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Just let me find a brush.” Heat sizzled between them as she gripped his hand and stood up.

Tickled by a feather of interest, Tyler looked down at her. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll drive with the windows down. It’s great out, now that it’s stopped raining.” He stepped to the door, Annie still wrapped around him.

“Okay, I’m coming already,” she groused at him, sticking out her tongue. On the way out, she grabbed a red ball cap hanging on a hook beside the door and shoved it on her head.

*

“I passed this great place on the way to the track yesterday. It’s one of Annie’s favorites. You don’t really mind eating pizza?”

“No, pizza’s fine.” Morgan could chow New York style with the best of them. “It’s one of the three food groups. It’s good for you.” At Tyler’s questioning glance she continued, “Yeah, three. The other two are caffeine and chocolate.”

“That’s good, Daddy. Food groups are good for you.” Annie chortled from the back seat.

Morgan smiled as Tyler rolled his eyes in consternation.

Her stomach did a slow spin when they pulled into the parking lot of a popular kid’s restaurant highlighted by a sign with a big gray mouse.
Never.
Never would she have ever dreamed this would be it.

“Daddy, Cheesies!” Annie wiggled as much as her seatbelt would allow. “Can we play games? Can Morgan play too?”

It’s only a place to eat. Get a grip, Blade
. She knew she had to face this sometime. It might as well be now. Unwilling to dampen Annie’s obvious excitement, she unbuckled her seatbelt and got slowly out of the car. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and turned, like she might if she were facing a firing squad, and headed toward the building.

*

Flashing lights and the noise of more than a few excited children assaulted their senses. Kids ran in every direction across the worn red carpeting.

Tyler stood behind Morgan in line, an energetic Annie bouncing up and down beside him. They moved forward and Morgan stopped abruptly to avoid running into a pair of children dashing around the line of patrons, playing hide-and-seek with their friends. He nearly ran into the back of her and grabbed her shoulder for balance.

The smell of her captured his senses. Roses. The fragrance engulfed him, deep, dewy and seductive. The scent made him want to touch, to taste, awakening uncivilized hungers his body recognized, even as his mind denied them.

It caught him unaware. He raised his head and sniffed, like a tawny-haired lion scenting its mate. Unsure of her response, yet driven by primal instinct into pursuit.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you.” He removed his hand from her shoulder, resisting the urge to sniff it. What was up with him? Years had passed since high school hormones.

Morgan smiled, her brown eyes sparkling. “No problem, I had to stop for oncoming traffic.”

She looked better now. When they’d pulled into the parking lot, he’d seen her face pale and wondered at the cause. She had come in slowly, a slightly fearful look in her eyes, melded with the haunting sadness.

“Are you okay? You look like you don’t feel well.” His voice softened with concern as they moved through the line and placed their order.

She wouldn’t quite meet his eyes, looking down and to the left, then over at some children laughing. “I’m fine. I just had a bit of an upset. Nothing to worry about. By the way, why did Annie cry in her sleep earlier?”

He gave her credit for deflection, for sure. Her posture and the eye movement said clearly enough,
Let’s not talk about me. I won’t tell you the truth anyway.
It was his job to read people and he excelled at it. Curiosity piqued him. Experience reminded him to save it for another day.

They sat across from each other in a shiny, black vinyl booth, sipping sodas. Annie wandered over to the ball cage to play in the stacks of primary colored spheres.

“She’s had some trouble with nightmares since Cindy and I divorced a few years ago. Her mother is unable to be part of her life anymore.” He took another sip of his soda and watched Annie slide down the slide, laughing as she fell into the piles of balls. “Her therapist told me this is one of the few ways she can express her grief, at her age.”

Empathy softened her warm brown eyes. “I’m so sorry. It must make you feel helpless.”

“Yeah. It does. Especially when it happens in the middle of the night.” Now why had he told her that? He barely knew her.

The waiter arrived with the pizza and paper plates on a plastic tray. Tyler served up the slices of hot cheese pizza and called out to Annie. She ignored him. He glared at his only child, willing her to come and eat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get her.” Morgan got up and walked over to the ball cage, slipped off her shoes, opened the door and climbed in.

He sat and stared in amazement when she grabbed Annie around the waist and tickled her. Both of them fell down laughing, buried by the colored globes.

Never in his life had he seen a woman so comfortable with herself. She didn’t seem to be concerned about her hair, her looks or any of that. A far cry from the women he’d dated.

He briefly remembered Shelly, or was it Kelly? What he kept in mind most were long tanned legs, a model figure and a whiny voice complaining about not wanting to go out in the rain for fear of messing up her hair and makeup. Ugh. Phony. He’d given up quickly, told her she didn’t have to worry and left. The thought made him chuckle out loud, thinking about her surprised gasp of outrage.