Sloane (25 page)

He gave me a weak smile. “Yeah, but if it doesn’t
work out, I think I… I think I want to have said this.”

“I don’t need your apology,” I said. “I don’t even
blame you anymore. Everything I was worried about seems stupid now.
Even if it was only sex, it was really good sex, and I’m glad that
I—”

“I’m not trying to apologize.”

He wasn’t? Oh, of course not. Even when facing death,
Axel was an asshole. I tried to summon a glare, but I couldn’t seem
to manage it.

“Maybe I
should
apologize,” he mused. He
furrowed his brow in thought. Then he nodded. “Yeah, I should. I’m
sorry for not being honest with you. It’s one of the things I pride
myself on. I don’t lie. But I did lie to you. I guess I lied to
myself too.”

Now I was confused. “What did you lie about?”

He looked up at the ceiling. “You have to understand
that I didn’t know what it felt like, and I really thought that it
didn’t even exist.”

“What didn’t exist?”

“All I knew was that I wanted to be around you. I
wanted to see you and talk to you and touch you. And it was never
enough. I always wanted more of you. You were all I could think
about. I thought…” He fixed his gaze on me. “When my mother talked
to me about the way things were in the beginning of her
relationship with my father, she said that back then, he wouldn’t
let her get away from him. She said he pursued her fanatically. But
then he lost interest. And I thought that he must have only done it
because he wanted to possess her. He didn’t care about her. He
wanted to have her, and then once he did… that was it. I thought
what my father did to my mother was dishonest, because I couldn’t
imagine being that drawn to a woman.”

I cocked my head at him. What was he saying?

“I never was, you know?” He laughed a little. “They
were always there. I could take whichever I pleased, and when I got
bored with one of them, which was quickly, I found another one. I
thought the way that men went after women was part of some
elaborate ruse. I thought they did it because they had to.”

“Had to?”

“Yeah. I thought that most men had a hard time
finding women. I thought that women wanted to be chased, and so men
chased them, because it was the only way they could actually get
any action.”

“But you don’t think that now?”

His flawless lips parted. He hesitated. “It’s only
that I didn’t realize it was happening. I don’t know if you’ve
noticed, but I’m not really one for self-restraint.”

Well,
that
was true.

“I knew I wanted you, and so I went after you,
because if I want something, I try to get it. But then… then I had
you. Really had you. The first night that we made love, I felt like
I got lost in you somewhere. And the only way I was going to find
myself was to keep getting back inside you over and over again. But
the more I did it, the more of me that got lost, and I…” He bit his
lip. “I didn’t mean it when I said that I wasn’t falling for you. I
wanted to mean it, because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t
think it was possible.”

I was blushing again. I tried to find words. I needed
to say something back.

But he plowed on. “I was wrong. I was wrong about all
of it. I don’t know what my father did. I don’t know if he loved my
mother but fell out of love with her. I don’t know if he really did
manipulate her just to have her. But I know that the way I feel
about you isn’t like that. I know that I…” He gave me a funny look,
as if he couldn’t believe he was saying it out loud. “I love
you.”

My heart skipped, and it was almost painful. I hadn’t
realized how much I’d wanted him to say that. I hadn’t realized how
much I felt it to. But it was such an intense bit of emotion that I
couldn’t figure out how to talk. I was speechless.

He was still staring at me with that hungry look that
seemed to reach inside my soul and lay all of me bare. He took
several shaky breaths.

I opened my mouth to speak, and no sound came
out.

“You’re probably thinking I’m only saying this
because I’m about to die, and you’re about to get brainwashed into
some kind of killing machine.”

I shook my head, but I still didn’t say anything.

He looked down at his hands. “You’re probably right,
because if all of this hadn’t happened, I don’t know if I’d ever
have admitted it to myself. It’s easy for me to run away from
things if I don’t feel like thinking about them, you know? But
being locked up here, especially these last couple hours when we’ve
had nothing to do but think? Well, that’s been making it hard to
run away from anything.” He raised his gaze to mine. “I don’t know
if you think that makes it less real—”

“I love you too,” I blurted out.

And for the first time ever, I think I actually
caught Axel Whitman off guard. The expression on his face was so
open that he looked completely vulnerable. And he was more
beautiful than ever.

I laughed. And I scooted over to him. “Probably
stupid to do that, because I don’t think you’re very trustworthy,
and you have a drug problem, and you own a strip club—”

“Gentleman’s club.” He reached for me.

“And I don’t think you’re really good for me,
but—”

“I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, and
you know it.” He threaded his hand behind my neck.

“And you’re really arrogant,” I said. “I hate
practically everything that comes out of your mouth.”

He kissed me.

I melted into him. And as we pressed close together,
his warmth started to melt away my despair.

He held me close.

I moved my lips away from his but lingered close.
“But I love your mouth. I think you have the most perfectly shaped
lips—”

He kissed me again, harder, fiercer.

And I clung to him.

LEIGH

Griffin slammed my head into the concrete wall, and
pain burst through my skull. I cried out. “Stop it, Griffin.”

He was stone. It was as if he hadn’t even heard
me.

“Griffin, please, you know this isn’t you,” I
said.

He slammed me back into the wall again.

I whimpered. “Remember who I am. I’m Leigh. I’m your
wife. Remember that you love me. Remember everything we’ve been
through together.”

He did it again, and my skull glanced against the
hard wall. But was I imagining things when I thought it hadn’t been
quite as hard that time?

“Griffin.” I reached up and touched his face. “You
saved me, remember? Remember all the times you’ve saved me.
Remember when I ran away from you in Thomas so that I could do
cocaine with Clint. And you busted into the house and picked me up
and carried me out of there. Remember when I went to Morgantown,
and you killed that guy from Op Wraith. Remember when you yanked me
off the stage in Axel’s club and dragged me out into the
street.”

He hurled me away from the wall, sending me
sprawling.

I landed painfully, throwing out my hands to break my
fall. Sharp tinges of agony traveled up my arms into my
shoulders.

Griffin walked over to me and aimed a kick into my
waist.

I screamed, doubling around myself.

I could see Silas’ body lying across the room, but he
wasn’t moving yet. He wasn’t coming to save me. And Griffin was too
strong. I couldn’t fight him.

I peered up at him, tears streaming down my face.
“Remember how I saved you?”

He yanked me up by the collar of my shirt.

“Remember that you trusted me enough to let me touch
you. Remember that I helped you make love again. Remember what I
let you do after we escaped from Marcel. In the woods. Remember
that I was there for you. That I held you while you sobbed, that I
took whatever ugliness you had inside of you into my own body—”

He let go of me. Something crossed over his eyes.

I fell back to the floor painfully. I was sprawled
out on my stomach, craning my neck to look at him.

Maybe that was the ticket, then. Not to remind him of
his own strength and goodness, but to remind him of his own
violence, the times he’d been borderline scary without any weird
injection making him do as French said. Maybe I had to play on his
guilt.

“There was nothing sweet about what you did to me
then,” I whispered fiercely, gazing into his eyes. “You pushed me
into a tree trunk. You were rough. You made me—”

“Shut up,” he murmured. There was no anger in his
voice. It was just as blank as his expression.

But he’d spoken.

“Griffin?” I said. “Griffin, baby, are you in
there?”

He leaped onto me, his body covering mine. He forced
my face down into the concrete floor, and he applied pressure to
the back of my head.

I screamed. “Griffin, stop. You don’t want to do
this. You really don’t want to do this.”

But he just kept pushing, and I screamed at the pain
of it. The pressure was so great that I could feel bones in my face
starting to crack.

He was going to kill me, all right. And I couldn’t
stop him.

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN

I was still kissing Axel when I heard muffled
conversation from outside the door.

“…
still on the front door, but I
don’t think she understands that we’re stretched thin.”

“You’re telling me. This was supposed to be my day
off until I got called in this morning.”

I pulled back, listening.

“Not like there’s even anything in particular to
guard right now,” said one of the voices.

I started to smile. I was pretty sure that I was
having an idea. There were disgruntled guards outside the door, and
they didn’t sound like they were on high alert.

“You know why we gotta keep an eye on this closet,
anyway?” said the other voice.

Yep. I was definitely having an idea. “Lay down,
close your eyes, and don’t move until I tell you to,” I told Axel
in a soft voice.

“What?” he said.

“Just do it,” I said. “I’ve got an idea.”

He gave me a funny look, but he did as I asked, lying
down on the floor.

“Not like you’re sleeping,” I whispered. “Like you’re
dead.”

He rolled over onto his stomach, arms splayed.

That would have to do.

I went over to the door and pounded on it. “Hey! Hey,
anyone out there?”

Silence from outside.

I banged again. “Anyone? Anyone at all?”

One of the voices, close now. “Who is that?”

“Do you work for French?” I said. “Because she locked
us in here, and she said she had big plans for us, but the guy she
threw me in here with… there’s something wrong with him.”

“What are you talking about?” said the voice.

“Open the door and see for yourself,” I said. “He
just keeled over. I don’t even know who the fuck he is, but I’m
thinking French doesn’t want him damaged.”

The sound of a bolt being undone. “Back away from the
door.”

I grinned. I took a small step back.

“You back?”

“Yup,” I said.

The door opened, and one of those guards with the big
guns peered inside. His gaze flicked over me.

I pointed down at Axel. “See? He’s… dead or
something.”

The guard looked wary. He glanced over his shoulder.
“Hey, you know anything about this?”

The other guard appeared in the doorway. “No, man.
I’m clueless.”

“You gotta do something about this guy,” I said. “I’m
pretty sure he’s not supposed to be dead.”

The guard stepped further inside the room. He knelt
down next to Axel, reaching out for his wrist to check his
pulse.

And I didn’t waste a second. I whipped around,
driving my elbow into the second guard’s face.

At the same time, the first guard said, “Guy’s not
dead.”

The second guard howled, clutching his nose, and I
took his moment of pain to wrest his gun away. I cocked the gun and
sprayed bullets into both of them.

They yelled, pitching backwards as the gunfire cut
into them.

“Axel, move!” I cried.

Axel scrambled to his feet.

“Get his gun.” I gestured to the first guard.

Axel picked it up.

I looked around and then pointed. “Hand me that
shelf.”

Axel grabbed it and handed it over.

I pushed one of the guards over onto his stomach. He
was down, but he wasn’t going to be down for long. I’d learned my
lesson before. These guys had some kind of souped-up serum, and I
knew they’d be back on their feet in no time. “Get yourself
something sharp too,” I told Axel. Using the metal edge of the
shelf, I sliced deep into the back of the guard’s neck.

Axel made a face. “What are you doing?”

“You’ve got to sever their spines. It’s the only way
to kill them.”

He swallowed. “All right.” He bent over the other
guard.

Once both of them were out of commission, we stripped
them and put on their uniforms. I hadn’t seen any female guards
yet, so I wasn’t sure if I’d look out of place, but I knew without
the uniform, I’d stick out. This was a better option.

Then we stepped out of the closet and shut the door,
bolting it again.

Axel squirmed. “These boots are too big,” he
muttered.

“Mine are too,” I said. “Shut up.” I squared my
shoulders and began to stride down the hallway. “Come on.”

Axel caught up to me.

“Now the key to not being noticed in a place where
you don’t belong is to act like you
do
belong,” I said.
“Self-confidence. So, you should have no problem.”

He lifted his chin. “Yeah, okay, I think I can handle
that.”

We marched down the hallway like we knew what we were
doing, even though I had no clue. The hallway looked sort of
similar to the one I’d seen the first time I’d been in this
building. Similar enough to assure me that we were, in fact,
somewhere in the secret lab. But different enough to make me
believe we weren’t on the upper level.