Small-Town Dreams

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

—
Matthew
11:28

To Mother,

In any language there is no more loving and important word than
Mother
. Mothers love and nurture us from the day we are conceived. They teach us how to go on in life from the day we are born. They are the cornerstone of the family. When we falter, they patch up our cuts and bruises—even those that don’t show—and send us back into the world to earn our place. Thanks for the years of love and support.

C
assidy Jamison stared at her grandfather and only one word came to her mind.
Betrayal.

“Naming Jonathan Reed as the next vice president of Information Systems wasn’t an easy task. We had several excellent candidates but…”

Cassidy saw her grandfather’s mouth moving as he heaped praise on his new vice president, but the buzzing in her ears drowned out the actual words.

She was honest enough with herself to admit that Jon had worked hard, too, and that he would make a good VP. But she would have done just as good a job, and she had worked just as hard as he had. Harder, in fact! Cassidy hadn’t taken a vacation since joining the company out of business school six years earlier. The Mickey Mouse ears perched atop Jon’s monitor were a constant reminder that he and his family had flown off to Disney World last year while she’d worked a seventy-hour week to keep ahead of the problems that he’d been able to leave behind.

But even that didn’t bother her all that much. What hurt, what felt as if it had crushed her spirit, was that her grandfather had broken his word. He had promised the promotion to her.

She heard a door shut firmly and she blinked, looking around. The meeting was apparently over, and she and the all-powerful Winston Jamison were alone in his oak-paneled office.

“You made your surprise evident,” he snapped.

Cassidy stood and smoothed the straight skirt of her dress-for-success, navy power suit. At five-foot-nine she was easily able to look him in the eye without looking up—the very reason she’d stood.

“Surprise, Grandfather?” Cassidy arched an eyebrow, an action stolen directly from the man before her. “That’s all I gave away? Then I did rather well, don’t you think? Because what I felt was
shock!
No! Call it what it is—
betrayal.
”

Her grandfather ran his fingers through his impeccably styled hair. “This is business, Cassidy. Not betrayal. And it was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made.”

“Business? You set me up! You told me that vice presidency was mine. I’ve worked practically around the clock since Harold Overton died. No one has put in more time or seen to it that their teams completed more projects on time than I have.”

Winston Jamison nodded his head, his white hair gleaming in the sunlight that streamed in his office window. “That’s all true but there were other considerations.”

“What other considerations? Dedication? Education?” she asked, knowing full well she was ahead in those areas, as well. She’d carried two majors trying to please him and herself at the same time.

“Jon is a family man. He’s stable. Trustworthy—”

“And I’m not trustworthy?”

Her grandfather looked pained. “No, of course I trust you. It was a judgment call. That’s all. You’ll just have to accept that.”

“Accept that my own grandfather lied to me. Accept that he played fast and loose with a solemn promise as well as the truth. You know, Grandfather, if you treated any other employee the way you have me, you’d be in court faster than a lightning strike can fry a PC.”

Winston’s eyes widened and his face grew red. “Are you threatening me, young lady?” His tone was one she recognized. She had heard it for twenty years, each and every time he needed to haul out the big guns to manipulate her into compliance with his will. His expression was the same.

Disapproving.

Judgmental.

“Don’t try that attitude and tone with me. It won’t work this time,” she growled and leaned her hands on his desk, which put her practically nose to nose with her new nemesis. “Who was it you called the morning Harold died? Who had to cancel her vacation immediately to take over his workload because—let me make sure I get the wording just right here—’ Cassidy, you’re the only one I can count on.’ Too bad you didn’t call Jon. His vacation wasn’t scheduled for another two weeks. But then, he got his time off, didn’t he.”

Her grandfather looked down at his desk and fidgeted with his calendar. “His children were counting on that trip.”

“I was counting on mine. Just as I was counting on that promotion.
And
my vacation weeks the two years before that. Vacations you begged me not to take.”

“I needed you here—not gallivanting off to some uncivilized place on the globe.”

“Well, you obviously don’t need me around here as much as you’ve led me to believe all these years. And since I have six weeks’ vacation coming to me, you’ll see me then.
If
I decide to come back!”

Her grandfather stiffened, his bushy eyebrows drawn together, his gray eyes almost as sorrowful as she felt. “I did need you. I do. I was just trying—”

“Don’t, Grandfather,” Cassidy snapped, cutting him off before he could do what he did best—entice her into believing him once again. “Don’t say anything else,” she said, her voice suddenly—
maddeningly
—full of despair. “Please. It’s too late for explanations and more promises. Way too late.”

With that, angry at both herself and the old man, she turned and rushed from the room, closing the door with a definite
thump.
She made it as far as the hall to the elevator before the burning started in her stomach, before tears of pain and utter desolation dammed up in her throat, and before she felt each beat of her heart inside her head.

She’d given up her dreams. He’d said that without her he couldn’t run the business he’d spent a lifetime building. And out of gratitude—out of a need to be loved—she’d tucked away her charcoal, pencils and paints and had gone to work for him.

In her little German sports car some minutes and a minor traffic jam later, Cassidy sat in the parking lot and stared up at her apartment building. She’d thought of it as a haven not five minutes earlier. Now its white facade looked cold. Empty. And she knew the inside of her own apartment would be even worse. Gray and depressing. She couldn’t make herself get out of her car.

Her stomach started to burn again, so she grabbed the roll of antacids that she always had sitting on the console and popped one in her mouth. She looked at the roll. Really
looked
at it this time. She’d stopped last night on the way home to buy it. It was nearly gone. How could that be?

Rubbing the heel of her hand where her stomach constantly stung, Cassidy remembered her doctor’s diagnosis of an ulcer. He’d prescribed medication just last week. Cassidy had never taken the time to fill the prescription. Apparently he was right. She really did need it.

Half an hour later, a prescription bottle and a new roll of antacids on her passenger seat, Cassidy started her car and wondered what to do next. Her grandfather had beeped her no less than ten times since she’d left his office. Her beeper was now turned off, as was her cell phone. She picked them both up off the passenger seat and glared at them. Sometimes these well-touted modern conveniences felt more like a pair of handcuffs chaining her to Jamison Steel.

But right now she was on vacation.

Without ceremony she tossed the offending technology into the backseat and determinedly put them and the company out of her mind.

For the first time since her childhood when she woke up with her grandfather sitting at her bedside in a Colorado hospital, she had no one planning her next step in life. No. This next move was all her own to make.

Rather than feeling free, Cassidy felt suddenly very alone. With her grandfather out of the equation, she had no one to rely on. He was all she had. Her friends were really more acquaintances, and most of them, save a neighbor or two, worked at Jamison.

She looked at herself in the rearview mirror, narrowing her blue eyes. When had she gotten so drawn looking? She fussed with her short, straight, blond hair for a second and bit her full bottom lip.
What do you want, Cassidy Jamison? Where do you want to go?

“I want to get away from the rat race,” she said aloud to the near-stranger in the mirror. “I need time to just think.”

A penny winked up at her from next to the nearly empty antacid roll in the console. She remembered a scene from a book she’d read several years earlier. The hero had flipped a coin—a penny—and had driven toward his uncertain future, giving the coin the power he no longer felt over his life. At each crossroad, he’d let the penny send him wherever it chose. Right then, feeling adrift, she felt an acute kinship with that character and decided her discarded penny just might know more than she did about her life’s choices.

She picked it up, turned it over in her hand and stared down at old Abe Lincoln’s coppery visage. Above his head were words she’d seen all her life and never really read.
In God we trust.

Cassidy wondered suddenly if there was a God. She remembered vaguely her parents talking about Him. But God hadn’t been part of her upbringing under her grandfather’s rule. Recalling her father’s calm, easy smile, she wondered if maybe that was part of her problem. She flipped the coin. Caught it. Slapped it down on the back of her hand. “If You’re up there, God, send me where I need to go. Heads north, tails south,” she called, then peeked. Honest Abe stared up at her again. “North,” she said, then wondered once again if she or some higher power had control of her destiny.

Winston Jamison turned from the window that looked out over Rittenhouse Square when a sharp knock echoed through his office door. “Come,” he called.

His longtime secretary walked in and as far as his desk. She stood, arms crossed, and glared at him. “She hasn’t answered her pages or her cell phone. I’ve tried her apartment. No go there, either.”

“Where could she have gone?”

“Well, I doubt she went to cry on a friend’s shoulder. Thanks to her hours these last several years, she hasn’t got any close friends.”

Rose had been with him for years. He’d kept her with generous raises and stock options. He’d kept her because he couldn’t intimidate her. But just now, he wished he’d fired her thirty years ago at the first sign of insubordination. He scowled, knowing it wouldn’t cow her in the least. “I’m sure there’s a saltshaker in that credenza over there. Care to throw some into the wound?”

She tapped her foot and moved her hands to her ample hips. “Don’t think I’m not tempted. Why on earth did you do it?”

“I didn’t have a choice. The job would have been too much for her. I did it for her own good.”

“You told her the vice presidency was hers. You told
me
it was hers. Why the last-minute change? I’ve never known you to vacillate like this.”

“I was trying to save her from herself. And from me. I love that girl, Rose. This place is dragging her down. The circles under her eyes have circles.”

“So this was for her own good? That child was in tears! I’ve never seen her cry in all the years I’ve known her!”

He winced. “I was wrong to insist she come in to the business. I’m trying to right a wrong.”

“Oh? Now you see it, when you managed to ignore a double major and her real talent? What, pray tell, caused this sudden revelation?”

He knew he deserved her scorn, but he felt the need to squirm and didn’t like it in the least! Instead he walked to his desk and sat in his big leather chair. “I overheard a conversation she had with her doctor last week. She has an ulcer, Rose. And it’s my fault.”

She sat in the chair where Cassidy had been sitting just a few hours earlier. “But to pull the rug out from under her like that was cruel.”

“It was a last-minute decision. I just couldn’t let her take on more. But I intended to explain. I really did. But she started shouting. Then I did. I lost sight of what I wanted to say and defended my choice instead. Before I knew it, she was storming out. By the time I calmed down enough to realize what had happened, she was gone.”

Rose shook her head in disgust. “For your sake, I hope she isn’t gone for good.”

“You know, Rose, if I knew where she was, that would be okay with me. Just so she’s happy.”

Dusk had just settled into darkness when the six-lane interstate Cassidy was traveling narrowed rather abruptly to one lane in each direction. She drove about ten miles farther, getting anxious about the denseness of the timberland that now surrounded her.

When the Pocono Mountains had loomed ahead of her at the Lehigh Tunnel, she’d gotten excited about the possibilities they held. She’d decided to really cut loose on this vacation and pick up a sketch pad and some charcoal. Since then, she’d seen numerous valleys and stark slopes of bare deciduous trees dotted with deep green pines that she itched to sketch.

But when that vast expanse of trees had formed a dark, oppressive tunnel with no evidence of a town or resort anywhere, the countryside had become frightening. Then, just as she decided to turn around because civilization had not made its presence known, the car that had been her stalwart companion for nearly five hours suddenly coughed and bucked as she crested a hill. It settled down again when she pressed a little harder on the accelerator, but whenever she slowed down to stop and turn around, it nearly stalled.

Cassidy was left with a dilemma: she had to continue on or risk getting stuck right there, which she feared was miles from nowhere. Just the thought of breaking down amidst the darkness and thick woodlands turned up the acidic burning in her stomach another notch. The pounding in her head seemed to turn up its volume by a hundred decibels, as well.