Smart, Sexy and Secretive (23 page)

“
Don’t make friends with the
help, Emily,” my dad warns.

Henry’s face falls.

I wink at him. “I wouldn’t dare try to
make friends with Henry,” I say. “He’s way too good for the likes
of us.”

Dad’s eyebrows draw together. “What’s
that supposed to mean?”

“
Kindness trumps money,
Dad,” I say. I learned that the hard way. And even though I can’t
read well, I feel so much smarter than my dad right now. I bump
knuckles with Henry, and he smiles at me.

He holds up a finger and goes to a
locked box beside his desk. He retrieves a key. “I’ll be sure your
luggage is delivered, Miss Madison.”

“
Thank you, Henry.” I wink
at him again as my family walks to the elevator. He smiles back at
me with genuine kindness.

My parents are quiet on the ride up. My
dad taps his thumb on the railing, and Mom just stands
quietly.

“
I don’t know why you felt
the need to come here. I can settle myself in.”

“
I’m not sending you off to
a strange city all by yourself.” He glares. He knows I was all
alone in this city last year. “That was your choice,” he says
quietly. “Not mine.”

I step up on my tippy toes and kiss his
cheek. He looks down his nose at me, which makes me grin. “I’m glad
you’re here.” I just hope they don’t stay long. I want to go see
Logan. It’s Friday night, and he’s probably at the club working.
He’s a bouncer there.

My dad walks around my new apartment,
appraising it with a critical eye. It was rented furnished, and
it’s actually really cute. It has two bedrooms, and an alarm system
that Homeland Security couldn’t beat.

I wanted to be in the dorm, but Dad
felt like it was a bad idea. At least I’m close to the
school.

My mom winks at me and then turns to
Dad. “Darling, I think we should get to the hotel,
soon.”

He lifts an eyebrow.
“Already?”

“
Yes.” She doesn’t say more
than that. Just
yes
.

Dad heaves a sigh. Then he kisses my
forehead, wrapping my head up in the crook of his hefty forearm.
“We’ll see you first thing tomorrow.”

I nod. “I’ll be here.”

“
Are you sure you don’t need
anything?” He worries. Excessively.

I need Logan. That’s all I need. I
shake my head.

My mom whispers in my ear, “Use
protection, dear.”

A grin tugs at my lips. “Yes,
Mom.”

The door closes behind them. I need a
shower, and I need to find Logan. I need him like I need
air.

Logan

A hand lands on my back, its fingers
light and teasing as someone draws a figure eight. I look back over
my shoulder and flinch inwardly when I see Trish. I take her hand
in mine and pluck it from my back, then set it to the side as
gently as I can.

“
Oh, Logan,” she says, her
lips tipped upward with laughter. I’m really glad I can’t hear
because if her laugh is anything like her, it’d be as grating as
that fake smile. It’s one of those smiles without any real
happiness behind it. She puts her hand on my chest, her fingers
pressing insistently against me. “How long are you going to pine
for that girl? There are so many other fish in the sea.”

I can talk, but sometimes I choose not
to, and people accept it from me because I’m deaf. I lost my
hearing when I was almost a teenager. I tap the face of my watch
and look at her, arching my brow. She’s due back on stage in two
minutes.

She heaves a sigh and tromps off in
that direction.

If I had been forced to answer her
question, I would have said “forever and always.” Emily is supposed
to be back in New York any day now, as spring courses are starting
at Julliard. I just began my own classes at NYU, and she shouldn’t
be far behind. That is, if she’s coming. I haven’t talked to her
since the day she left and that was months ago.

I have, however, seen her in the
tabloids. She’s been to lunches, clubs, and social events with her
ex-boyfriend, Trip Fields. The media outlets never cease talking
about the way they fell apart and then came back together. But when
I see them in the papers, she doesn’t look happy, not like she was
when she lived with my brothers and me. I like to think it’s all a
ruse. I hope to hell it’s all a ruse. My gut aches at the thought
that it’s not.

Emily sold herself back to her father
in exchange for Matt’s life. He’s my brother, and he means the
world to me. Matt’s alive because of her sacrifice. I’m glad she
did it, but since she’s been gone, it’s like the oxygen is missing
from the air I breathe. I miss her like crazy.

I haven’t looked at another
girl since she left. Not one. She’s all I think about. When girls
like Trish touch me and say
let’s
go
with their eyes, I can’t imagine
anything that might make me want to go. Or remember what made me
want to go in the past. All I can think about is Emily.

I look toward the door where Ford, one
of the other bouncers, is barring the entrance. Bone, our resident
thug, is in the doorway and Ford knows that if he comes within five
feet of me, I’ll try to kill him with my bare hands. My younger
brother, Pete, is going to get himself into trouble hanging out
with Bone. I caught them together talking in the street a few days
ago, and I don’t like it. Bone is trouble, and I told him last week
to stay the fuck away from my family. Pete doesn’t seem to
understand what kind of problems Bone attracts.

I take a step toward the
doorway, but Matt is suddenly in front of me, getting between Bone
and me.
It’s not worth
it
, he signs.

Would be to
me
, I reply. I’ve been trying to catch that
bastard alone ever since the last time I saw him with Pete. Our
little brother suddenly has a phone, and he suddenly has money in
his pocket. The boy has a job, but he’s not making enough money to
pay for the things he now has. And he puts every dime he
legitimately earns into the family kitty to pay the
bills.

He’s scum.
My hands fly wildly as I talk, drawing the
attention of several people around us.

I know
, Matt replies.
We’ll take care of
it, but we don’t need to do it here.
He
looks me in the eye.
You know he’s
packing.

One more reason to keep him
out of here.

Matt shakes his head.
Not tonight.

Dammit. Ford moves to the side and
admits Bone when the owner of the club walks over to force the
issue. He glares at Ford.

Ford’s a good friend, and he knows how
I feel about Bone. All things considered, I don’t want to put Ford
into Bone’s line of fire, either, so I’m glad he let him through
just for that reason.

Bone smiles at me, looking directly
into my eyes as my gaze follows him across the room. Then he slides
into a booth and breaks eye contact.

A fight begins at the front of the bar.
I clap my hands together to get Matt’s attention. He’s not working
tonight. He’s not strong enough for bouncing yet, but he’s here as
a wingman of sorts.

I see it
, he signs.
The big one is
drunk.

The big ones always fall
the hardest.

And they’re a bitch to pick
up off the floor.

Matt laughs. I’m so fucking glad he’s
getting back to normal.

I’ll take the little one if
you’ll take the big one.
He cracks his
knuckles and grins at me.

You’re such a
pussy
, I sign.
And
you can’t even claim chemo did it to you because you were a pussy
before you got sick.
I grin at
him.

He shrugs his shoulders and smiles
unabashedly back at me. It makes me so happy to see him like this.
I watched him deteriorate last fall to the point where we thought
he wouldn’t pull through. He still might not, but we have
hope.

At least I can get some
pussy if I try.
He looks down at the crotch
of my jeans.
Your dick, however, is going
to rot off from lack of use.

I can’t help it if I’m a
one-woman man.

He claps a hand on my
shoulder and squeezes.
When do you think
she’ll be back? I need to thank her.

She wouldn’t want any thanks. I shrug
my shoulders. I wish I knew.

Matt points toward the fight, which is
about to escalate into a full-out brawl. The little guy is dumb
enough to shove the big guy. He falls into a woman behind him, and
then her boyfriend starts swinging.

Now
, Matt says.

Now. I fucking love this part of the
job. It takes four of us. Matt, Ford, another bouncer, and I all
jump into the fray and quickly have it under control. But the big
man is on the floor with his eyes closed. He has a smile on his
face. He’s murmuring something, but I can’t read his
lips.

I think he’s
singing?
Matt says, his eyebrows arching in
question.
Girl you make my speakers
go
boom
boom
?

I laugh. People look over as
noise bursts from my throat, but I don’t care. Laughter feels good.
Emily taught me that.
Help me get him
up.

Matt takes one arm while I take the
other, and we hoist him onto his wobbly legs. His girlfriend, who
is pretty unsteady herself, says, “We need a cab.”

Matt and I haul him out to the cabstand
and throw him into a taxi. The girlfriend gets in behind him. I
feel bad for the cab driver who will have to throw his big ass out
on the sidewalk.

I dust my hands off. At least it’s
done.

Snow is falling on us, and I
brush my hand across my hair. Suddenly, Matt tenses beside
me.
What
? I
ask.

He smiles, claps me on the
shoulder and says,
Take the rest of the
night off.
Then he points behind
me.

I turn around and freeze. My lungs
refuse to do their job, and I stand there, not breathing, not
moving, trying not to feel anything. But there she is. Emily is
standing on the sidewalk looking at me.

She shifts from foot to foot, looking
nervous as hell. Snow is falling on her hair, and she’s not wearing
a coat. Surely she can afford a coat. Her family is worth billions.
Her dark-blond hair, so unlike the black hair with the blue stripe
she had when I met her, falls down to the middle of her back, and
she has it tucked behind her ear. She’s not wearing clothes from
around here. She’s full-on Madison Avenue right now.

But the best thing about it is… she’s
mine.

Matt says something to her, but she
doesn’t speak to him. She doesn’t break eye contact with me, and I
feel like there’s an invisible tether between the two of
us.

I look at Matt to tell him
I’m going wherever she goes. He grins.
I
guess we won’t have to worry about your dick dying from lack of use
after all.

I’ll see you
later.

I doubt
it
, he says. But he’s still grinning that
goofy smile.
I want to go and hug her, but
I guess you get first dibs.

And last dibs. And all the dibs in
between.

He waves to her and signs
the word
later
.

She nods, throws him a kiss with the
tips of her fingers, and then starts toward me. Her boots leave
footprints in the snow, and I force myself to stay still. I tuck my
hands in my jeans pockets to keep from grabbing her.

Hi
,
she signs.

I can’t stand it any longer. I reach
for her so quickly that she startles, but she’s reaching for me,
too. I haul her against me, needing to feel her heart beating
against mine.

Her breath brushes my ear and fucking
tears sting my eyes. I tuck my face into her neck and breathe in
the scent that is uniquely hers. She wraps her arms around my
waist, and her hands slide into my back pockets. We stand there in
the snow like that until I feel dampness on my shirt. I tilt her
face up to mine so I can look at her.

“
I’m so glad you’re home.” I
use my voice because I don’t want to take my hands off
her.

“
Me, too,” she says. A lone
tear tracks down her cheek. I wipe it away with the pad of my
thumb.

“
You’re back?” I
ask.

She nods, turning her head to kiss my
palm.

“
For how long?”

“
Always.” She smiles. God,
she can undo me with that smile.

“
Promise?” My heart is
pounding in my chest.

She nods and draws a cross over her
chest. “I swear it.”

“
What about your
father?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to
talk about my father right now.”