Smokin' & Spinnin' (30 page)

I try to speak. “I don’t know if I can do this?”

Garrett shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Whitney, but this is how has to be!”

How can I do this? How can I continue working for Ryan, especially now, under these circumstances?

I know Garrett means business, and a light bulb goes off in my head. I quickly think back—Garrett is right! Since I have been working with Ryan, he has been on top of the leaderboard each week. I know that his career hangs in the balance. I cannot let my feelings for him or our relationship cause the decline of his career. I am a professional, and by God, I am going to do my job, the job I was hired to before Ryan got in the way. I can do this even if it kills me. And I cannot let Ryan lose his job with his father’s organization. After all, I was a key player in all this. He shouldn’t suffer because of my bad decisions.

Immediately, I agree to the terms and conditions, not thinking about the repercussions. “OK, I will stay until the end of the season.”

Jerri lets out a long breath and a beaming smile. Garrett immediately looks relieved. “Thank you, Whitney!” He walks over closer to me and
gently touches my arm. “You don’t know how much I appreciate what you are doing.”

Appreciate, hell! You backed me into a corner. I feel like I am working for Tony Damn Soprano. So, don’t thank me just yet!

Chapter 32

S
everal days pass. I am beginning to get restless. Bed rest and being bound to my apartment is not my thing. Brooke has agreed to stay with me so that my mother can return to Georgia. I must admit that I am looking forward to Brooke’s company. However, I am a little nervous because I know she is going to let me have it as soon as my mom leaves. I wonder what Ryan told her.

Brooke arrives on what I am told is a Saturday morning. The days are running together. She is dressed casually in sweats with her blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail. As always, she looks like she is ready to walk the runway even dressed down. Again, here I sit…a hot mess again. Brooke gives me a wry smile as she drops her bags onto the living room floor. Mom flutters around making sure she has collected all her belongings, but I can tell she is hesitant to leave.

“Now, girls…” Mom starts slowly, “are you absolutely sure that you will be OK? I can stay longer. Or better yet, you could just come back home with me, Whitney.”

I raise my eyebrows at Brooke. She laughs out loud at my mom, knowing full well that Jillian would have to drag me kicking and screaming by my good leg back to Georgia. “We got this, Mrs. Parker. Please don’t worry about a thing. I will be here for as long as she needs.”
My heart swells with love. I am so blessed to have such great women in my life. I smile warmly at my mom to confirm Brooke’s statement.

We say quick good-byes, and I listen as Brooke escorts her to the door. The soft click of the lock lets me know that I am finally alone with Brooke. Maybe this is what I need, girl therapy. But first, I am going to have to go through Brooke’s Spanish Inquisition. And it is going to be brutal.

Brooke walks over to where I am semi-propped on the couch. “OK, let’s see…I have your medicine schedule, which you are good to go for a few hours. Don’t need any of those. Are you hungry? Do you need something to drink?”

I eye her suspiciously. I know she is leading up to something because nursing is not her thing. “I am OK for now,” I say softly.

Brooke raises her eyebrows at me. “Are you sure? Please be sure because you are not moving from this living room until you tell me just what in the hell happened. And I mean
everything
, Whitney Elaine Parker!”

And…there it is!

I laugh out loud. I mean really laugh. It hurts my body, but feels good for my soul. I haven’t laughed in some time. However, Brooke doesn’t get my humor.

“OK…OK…” I acquiesce. “I am not even sure where to start, actually.”

Brooke snaps giving me the stink eye, “You better starting figuring it out quick, sister!”

I can tell that she is not in a mood for my jokes today, but I understand her concern. It was Brooke’s idea for me to move here. Then
she basically got me the interview at the temporary employee agency that led to the job at GCR. I understand she feels responsible for me, not to mention the fact that I have been blowing her off since I became involved with Ryan. I knew she would figure me out sooner or later since we are more like sisters than friends.

I take a deep breath. “OK…you want the annotated version?” I laugh again. This is so not the time to aggravate her, but I can’t help myself. I somewhat feel like me again, if that is possible. I can sense Brooke’s impatience. I don’t know what she knows, what Ryan told her, or if she knows anything at all, but I am going to lay it all out for her. “OK, OK, we both know that Colton was interested in me. I told you that, right?”

Brooke responds impatiently, “Yes, and it was very evident that night we had drinks.”

“I talked with Colton to explain to him that I did like him but did not want to get involved for two reasons. Number one, because it was a direct violation of company policy and I did not want to jeopardize my job. Number two, I was not ready to begin another relationship. I gave him a little background information on my previous relationship, and he said he understood.”

Brooke looks confused. “So, how does this all lead to your accident and these rumors about you being involved with both drivers?”

I hold up my hand. “I’m getting there. You wanted the complete version, right?”

She holds up her hands in defeat.

I continue, “Colton and I maintained what I thought was a friendship. We had very minimal contact, but I made a mistake.”

“You changed your mind about Colton?”

I sigh, “No, I just violated company policy with someone else.”

Brooke’s eyes narrow like she is processing my statement, and then automatically her face lights up like she is about to explode. She mouths the name “Ryan” to me. I shake my head as tears begin to fall at the sheer mention of his name. I look away, embarrassed by my emotions.

“Shut up!” Brooke exclaims. Then, in a hushed whisper, she enunciates my name like it has ten syllables, “Whiitnee, no!”

I turn back to meet her shocked gaze and nod my head, unable to speak. Brooke opens her mouth to speak, then closes it again. She is wide-eyed with shock.

Brooke finally gathers her composure. “When?”

I take a deep breath. “About a month or so ago, I guess.”

“A month!” she shrieks. “How could you not tell me?”

“I am sorry! Really, it all happened so fast, and I was so caught up in him and my job, but I knew…I knew if I talked to you that you would know. And I couldn’t risk it. For the first time in my life, I finally felt like I was in the right place at the right time. I didn’t want to say anything to anybody in fear of who might find out.”

I continue to explain, “Ryan tried to explain it to me one night about how racing affects you. How it gets in your blood. How the adrenaline rush is addictive. I didn’t understand him at all, but now I get it. And you know me, it’s not like me to act first and worry about the repercussions later. I got so caught up in my job, traveling, and trying to understand this sport that I made a bad decision. But…” I stammer,
“it felt so right, you know? I have never felt that intense connection with another person.”

Brooke sits silently, taking in the overload of information. She looks up at me. “Where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

Her words open a floodgate of tears that soak my cheeks. Brooke gets up and moves to sit on the end of the couch with me. I hold up my hand, signaling that I need a minute to regain my composure.

A few minutes pass, and I am able to speak again. “I broke it off with him.” Brooke gasps, “Why?”

I roll my eyes. “Wouldn’t running me over constitute a good enough reason?”

Brooke shrugs her shoulders and laughs at me.

I try again to finish my story. “The day of the race, I noticed that Colton seemed upset with me. He gave me several disapproving looks that made me uneasy. I started to get the feeling that he might suspect that Ryan and I were now involved. I just chalked it up to paranoia. Ryan and I both agreed that no one should know about us until we figured out what ‘us’ was. I just never believed that it would be anything serious since Ryan changes women like he changes his underwear. I was just along for the ride, literally!” I laugh at my own bad joke.

“But…” Brooke doesn’t get my humor, but begs me to continue.

“Apparently, Colton knew, somehow.”

Brooke interrupts me. “Oh my God! So that is why Colton intentionally wrecked Ryan on the track that day.”

I shake my head to confirm her statement. “Colton was furious that I had chosen Ryan over him.”

Brooke sits up with new regard. “So that’s where the rumors came from.”

I raise my hand. “I have no idea who could have ever said anything. Unless it was Colton. Maybe the paparazzi were grasping at straws…I don’t know. It is mortifying. But Jerri has officially silenced them. Thank God!”

Brooke shakes her head at me. “Well…don’t be so sure. Just wait till you see all the magazines I have that are talking about it.”

She reclines back on the couch like she has just run a marathon, then immediately sits back up with more questions. “OK…I understand all that now, but why would Ryan hit you with the car?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I believe it was really a case of me being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jerri told me in the hospital that Ryan didn’t see me. So, I guess I was caught in the cross fire.”

Brooke looks confused again. “What did Ryan say?”

I look at her and take a long pause. “Nothing, really.” I shrug. “I didn’t give him a chance to explain.”

“Whitney!” Brooke exclaims again.

“Listen, Brooke, I screwed up. The majority of this is my fault.”

“Like hell!” Brooke interjects.

I sigh, “Yes, it is. I told Colton that I didn’t want to be involved with anyone, especially someone that worked for the team. Then what do I
do? I go and get involved. See? All roads lead back to Whitney Parker.” I point to myself for emphasis. “Now, one person is out of a job, and another’s career hangs in the balance.”

I continue, “I have made up my mind to go back to work and finish the season. I am not, nor have never been, a quitter. I have to be professional, put my feelings aside, and help Ryan get his career, what’s left of it, back on track.”

Brooke looks at me sympathetically. “How on earth will you be able to work for him?”

I shake my head and avoid eye contact with her as tears well up again. “I don’t know, but I have to do it for his sake. It is the least I can do to repair the damage that I helped cause.”

Brooke relents. “I have one more question. Then I will leave you alone—for today, that is. I am so not done with you, Whitney Parker!”

I laugh, “I would be afraid if you were!”

Brooke eyes me cautiously. “My question is this, how on earth can two people go from hating one another to being romantically involved?”

I throw my head back and laugh so hard pain shoots throughout my body. I grasp my leg to steady myself and stop the pain.

“What is so funny, Whitney?” Brooke looks pissed.

“Ryan and I had the same conversation that first night we were…uh…together,” I stammer, embarrassed. “I hated him because he was so arrogant and rude, while he despised me because I was new and had absolutely no knowledge of NASCAR whatsoever. But we worked through all of that.”

Brooke smiles at me and says sarcastically, “I would say so!”

We fall together and erupt into a fit of girlish giggles.

Chapter 33

I
awake the following morning. Well, I guess it’s morning since I have no window in my room, but I believe I can hear Brooke moving around in the kitchen. The pain in my chest is still present, but not as gripping. I guess the girl therapy worked after all. Between gossiping, reading some good fashion magazines, and blabbing the whole story, spending time with Brooke has helped alleviate some of the pain. I manage to sweep my legs up and off the bed. As they dangle over the side, I can tell that my leg pain has subsided as well. What a difference a week makes! And that thought reminds me that it is Sunday. There is a race today, and it is odd not being at the track.