Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work (41 page)

Read Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work Online

Authors: Paul Babiak,Robert D. Hare

Tags: #&NEW

BOOK: Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work
10.13Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

2. CONSIDER REPORTING ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

If you observe illegal behavior or flagrant abuse of others, bring it to the attention of your boss, but only if you have a strong, supportive relationship with him or her. Otherwise, send an anonymous letter to him or her. You may choose to make use of the company’s reporting procedures, but do so anonymously, if you can. Reporting illegal, immoral, and abusive behaviors is typically viewed as a form of loyalty to the company, the industry, and in major cases, the country.

However, do not assume that you will heralded as a hero, because the psychopath is constantly managing the perceptions of those around him or her, and you may have already been compromised. Recall that a successful corporate psychopath will already have established a strong influence network, and may already have planted seeds of doubt about your competence and loyalty.

If you are personally abused, seek advice from family, friends, or professionals outside the company, and then take steps to end the relationship, as noted above. This may involve telling your boss what is happening, reporting the abuse to human resources, or using other avenues available at your company. Make sure you fully understand the proper procedure to use and the ramifications for yourself. Proceed with caution, and remember never to confront the psychopath.

Document everything.

3. CONSIDER LEAVING

In general, putting as much distance as possible between you and your psychopathic coworker is the best solution. If the situation is untenable, consider a transfer, or, as a last resort, leave the company.

How to Handle a “Psychopathic” Subordinate
Managing people is hard enough without one of them being a psychopath. Employees come in all shapes and sizes. Some are talented,
314

S N A K E S I N S U I T S

others are not; some are motivated, others are sluggish; some work hard, others just put in their time. Unfortunately, supervisors cannot always choose the employees on their staff, but have to manage them nonetheless. Based on what we understand about psychopaths, they rarely, if ever, make good employees. Their parasitic nature, tendency to lie, and reliance on conning and manipulation to get what they want makes them the antithesis of the ideal employee. What is a supervisor who suspects he or she has a psychopath on staff to do?

1. CONTINUOUSLY IMPROVE YOUR LEADERSHIP AND

MANAGEMENT SKILLS

The more you know about leading and managing people, the better off you will be when handling a psychopath. There are two reasons for this. First, your informed management style will serve you in good stead when applied to others on your staff. They will be productive and quality conscious, and deliver what you ask. This will not go unnoticed by your own boss and will go a long way to building and maintaining your reputation as a good leader or manager. Remember, that the psychopathic employee will attack your reputation, spread disinformation about your effectiveness and style, and sabotage your efforts to build and manage your team. To the degree that you can forestall this negative press by having a track record of good performance, you will receive better support from those above you in the organization.

Psychopath as Client

Psychopaths are not the favorite clients of defense attorneys.

Hare recently took part in a symposium with Lenny Frieling, a criminal defense attorney and municipal court associate judge in Boulder County, Colorado. Frieling offered some valuable advice for lawyers with a psychopath as a client, and his comments are paraphrased, with his permission, as follows:
The Fifth Column

315

1. Get paid up front. If you lose the case, you will be blamed and unpaid. If you win the case, the client will take the credit and you will
still
be unpaid.

2. Be very careful about boundaries. The client is not your friend, and will collect and use against you whatever information is obtained. (This includes information related to the case
and
related to you personally.)

3. Remain in charge. A psychopathic client will attempt to run the show and to manipulate you and the system, making your job much harder.

4. Don’t take at face value the client’s description of events or interactions with others. Check everything out.

5. Be aware that the client will distort and minimize his or her criminal history. When confronted with the inaccuracies, the client will offer excuses that place the blame on defense attorneys, a corrupt system, or others.

6. The client will flatter you as long as things are going smoothly.

If the case goes sideways, often because of the client’s tendency to take charge and to ignore advice, you will become the enemy.

7. Keep copious notes on
everything
.

2. BUILD AND MAINTAIN RAPPORT

WITH YOUR STAFF

While this is also part of being a good manager, it is so important to handling psychopathic manipulation that it deserves mention on its own. Psychopaths are good at setting people against each other, particularly when the lines of communication are inadequate. To the degree that you can keep open lines of communication between you and your staff members, the more likely they will come to you when
316

S N A K E S I N S U I T S

they observe behaviors of the sort described in this book. This is the heads-up that you will need in order to stay one step ahead of the psychopathic subordinate.

You must keep an open mind, though. Sometimes we believe that the things we hear from subordinates are blown out of proportion because they are important to them but not necessarily to us.

But it is just as likely that your subordinates’ reports are accurate because they have more contact with their peers than you do. It is important to take all reports seriously and investigate to the best of your ability.

At the very least, you should keep detailed notes of all issues that come to your attention, and review them with your own boss during private meetings.

3. BUILD AND MAINTAIN A STRONG RELATIONSHIP

WITH YOUR BOSS

The relationship you have with your boss is critical, not only to your own ability to get your job done, but to your chance to address issues before they become problems. Having a strong relationship with your own boss is necessary in order to deal with psychopathic manipulation. This relationship should be based on ready sharing of information about what is going on in the department and on projects.

Make every effort to keep your boss in the loop.

There are many ways to keep the lines of communication open.

Some bosses like to meet weekly with their staff members to review progress, project status, or issues. Others take a more relaxed approach, having lunch occasionally, or stopping by the office to get the latest information. Take advantage of these opportunities to give and receive information, particularly information about a potential problem employee on your staff.

The Fifth Column

317

4. KEEP GOOD NOTES AND DOCUMENTS

Despite the change from bureaucracy to the more modern transitioning organization models, the need to keep good records has remained a vital part of running a business. Learn to prepare concise, accurate, and timely reports. Even if they are not a part of your boss’s requirements, write and keep them for yourself. Keep a record of what was discussed and agreed to in all meetings you attend. Keep records of both the “good” and “bad” performance of your staff members, and provide them positive and constructive feedback on a regular basis (these meetings should also be documented).

Keeping good records can be onerous, especially if you do not like to write or you do not have the time. You may want to take a time management course or get help with report writing, as there are skills and techniques available that can make the task far easier, less boring, and more a regular part of your management routine.

5. USE YOUR COMPANY’S PERFORMANCE

MANAGEMENT PROCESS

Performance reviews serve the purpose of officially communicating feedback to employees about their performance. By documenting good performance, the supervisor communicates that he or she is paying attention to employees and has respect for their contributions. By documenting less-than-optimal performance, the supervisor communicates the fact that employees need to improve. Regular performance reviews, whether formal or informal, reinforce the relationship between the supervisor and employee and help to keep lines of communication open. Performance reviews are invaluable when managing or dealing with a psychopathic employee, especially if they are tied to a formal process of setting annual performance objectives, and measuring interim results.

In some cases, performance reviews may be the only way to deal with a psychopathic employee. If you are a supervisor who has ever
318

S N A K E S I N S U I T S

wanted to discipline or terminate an employee, you no doubt have been asked by human resources to demonstrate the employee’s poor performance in a performance review. If you have not completed a review or have neglected to document performance deficiencies, you may not be able to move forward as quickly as you would like. In the case of a psychopathic subordinate, the official performance record—written review and face-to-face discussion—is vital to managing them.

6. SEEK ADVICE FROM HUMAN RESOURCES

Many of the businesspeople who attend our talks and seminars are human resources professionals. Virtually all of them have recognized the traits and characteristics of the psychopath in one or more of their employees, either in their current companies or in past jobs. They tell us that their hands are sometimes tied because of supervisors who do not come to them with issues early on. Others note that performance reviews are poorly written and do not measure up to the level of detail they need in order to handle (in their words) “disruptive,” “counterproductive,” “dysfunctional,” or “problem” employees.

Corporate Jerks

The individuals described in this book often are referred to by the police as
jerks
. The same appellation is used by Gloria Elliott, an organizational development consultant who organizes “jerk training” seminars. She estimates that 10 percent of those in the workplace are full-time jerks.

Research at the University of British Columbia suggests that jerks are sexually more successful than nice guys, who often do tend to finish last. Psychologist Paul Trapnell defines jerks as

“manipulative, arrogant, boastful, calculating, quarrelsome, and sly.” They are cold enough not to worry about their effect on oth-The Fifth Column

319

ers. But why are they so successful at attracting women? Part of the reason is that they have fewer social inhibitions, try harder, and sell themselves better than do the rest of us.

For example, most men whose advances to a woman are re-buffed will slink away, their ego and self-image validated or damaged. They are unlikely to try again, unless the signs of interest from a woman are unmistakable. A jerk/psychopath, on the other hand, knows he is perfect and is not worried about being rejected: “It’s her problem, not mine.” He simply moves on to the next woman.

The same principles apply to other aspects of human interaction, including attempts to scam or manipulate others.

After your direct supervisor, the human resources professional is perhaps the best person to talk to about questionable or suspicious behavior. You need not label someone a psychopath, but you can document and report behavior that is abusive, counterproductive, or does not live up to the standards of performance, job requirements, or code of conduct expected of all employees.

The world is made up of many types of people, some of them, unfortunately, psychopaths. In an ideal world, we would be able to get along with everyone, and accept them as equals; our gut feeling tells us that this is the right path to take. But, reality is often less than ideal, and our desires for an enlightened approach to business and professional relationships are often frustrated. It is our hope that this book will help readers avoid psychopathic manipulation on and off the job, and can assist those who have become embroiled in the psychopathic fiction to break free and get back on the path of a normal, happy, and productive life.

320

S N A K E S I N S U I T S

Nothing New

“The man without moral feeling is the kind who will take an oath with no sense of responsibility. . . . By nature he is a base kind of person, lacking the most elementary sense of decency and capable of absolutely nothing. He leaves his mother without support in her old age. . . .

knows the inside of the town jail better than his own house. . . . In court, he is capable of playing any role: de-fendant, plaintiff, or witness. He knows a good many rascals.”

— T h e o p h r a s t u s , c . 2 8 0 B . C .

ACT V, Scene III

THE RISE AND THE FALL

Dave sat on his deck admiring the trees in his backyard. He had called in sick that morning, deciding to lay low for a few days.

That branch needs to be cut, he thought, spotting a dead limb on an oak at the edge of the woods.

He watched his e-mail most of the day for anything interesting and wondered what was going on back at the site. Finally, he typed a note to his secretary. “Denise, Feeling a bit better, but still cough-ing,” he wrote. “Anything going on I need to know about before the weekend?”

A few moments later he got the response he had been fishing for,

“Frank has just been let go! Marge is in her office crying, and the rest of us are in shock,” she wrote.

Dave smiled and picked up his phone and dialed. He practiced
322

S N A K E S I N S U I T S

Other books

When Lightning Strikes by Sedona Venez
Uncaged by Frank Shamrock, Charles Fleming
The Rules of Dreaming by Hartman, Bruce
French Lessons: A Memoir by Alice Kaplan
The Impossible Clue by Sarah Rubin
F In Exams by Richard Benson
Tough Customer by Sandra Brown
Will of Man - Part One by William Scanlan
Paper-Thin Alibi by Mary Ellen Hughes