Snow White Sorrow (31 page)

“Is smoke going to start rolling out of the bouncer’s ears or what?” Fable wondered, and she was right. The way he was irritated with them was daunting.

“That just might happen,” Axel laughed. “I’m thinking he is an Ogre disguised as a bouncer, or maybe a small dragon.”

Someone tapped the Cadillac’s window. Loki freaked out, thinking about Ogres. Fable and Axel laughed.

It was Lucy Rumpelstein, sticking her nose to the glass again. Loki rolled the window down.

“You need to get yourself together,” Lucy said in her elegant voice.

“We need to stop meeting this way,” Loki smiled. “Always knocking on my window?”

“Yeah, right,” she handed him three fake I.D.s that were very weird. The I.D.s had their names on them, but not the pictures; those were photos of crying children.

“May I ask what that is?” Fable said.

“Under normal circumstances, nerdy birds like you may not,” Lucy said. “But since it’s a crazy day, you should know that Boogeymen take their trophies very seriously.”

“Their trophies?” Loki said.

“To a Boogeyman, the most important thing in the world is to scare a baby, get its tears, and brag about it.”

“I hate Boogeymen already,” Fable said. “They must be so ugly that they don’t want their photos on their I.D.”

“Not necessarily,” Lucy said. “The Closet gives away VIP cards to certain visitors every now and then, so we’re pretending we’re those.”

“So all we have to do is get in, meet this Georgie Porgie and get our Baby Tears?” Loki asked.

“Yes,” Lucy nodded. “We need to look like a couple so they let us in, though, and you should lose the hood. It’s not the Grim Reaper’s club,” Lucy told Axel.

Axel swallowed hard, losing his smile. It didn’t seem like he’d be able to impress Lucy today.

“You two should play couple while we’re at the door,” Lucy suggested, talking to Fable and Axel.

“They can’t,” Loki said, handing Axel and Fable their fake I.D.s, hoping Mr. Godzilla didn’t see them “They’re kinda brother and sister.”

“Kinda?” Lucy laughed, pulling the door open. “Why are you still in the car, guys?”

Loki got out of the car and saw the long line of people waiting in front of the bar. Then he introduced everybody formally.

“So this is Fable,” he pointed. “Lucy.”

He knew Lucy met Axel before in the parking lot.

Fable said ‘hi’ with a big smile, even though it was obvious that she and Lucy weren’t going to get along. Instead of warming at Fable’s amazing smile, Lucy rolled her eyes, greeting her back. “What’s with the pigtails? You look goofy.”

“Oh?” Fable blushed as if she’d done something wrong and loosened her hair. “Better?”

“Take off the glasses too.” Lucy folded her hands.

“I,” Fable hesitated. “I’m afraid I can’t see without them. I’m dyslexic, if you don’t mind,” Fable folded her hands in response. She seemed to want to punch Lucy in the face, but she was also intimidated by her. Loki thought that Fable wanted to make a girl friend, instead of being friends with all the boys surrounding her, but counting on Lucy to fill that space was a great mistake.

“No wonder your mother was a lousy witch.” Lucy said. “How can a dyslexic read spells?” Lucy laughed.

“I think you should stop there,” Loki threw Lucy a sharp stare, which Lucy seemed to like all of a sudden. Loki knew she liked rough boys, but this time he did it for Fable. If he didn’t think they still needed Lucy’s help, he’d have done even more.

“I like that,” Lucy said. “Didn’t know you could get so…”

“So, are we going to play couple here or what?” Axel interrupted.

“Since you and this
nerdy-nerd
girl are related, we’ll have to switch roles,” Lucy said.

Axel stood like a vibrating fork hammered in the ground, buzzing to Lucy’s insults.

“You and Loki act like a couple,” Lucy pushed Fable slightly into him. “You actually look good together. Awww,” then she glanced at Axel with pursed lips. “And you and I will play couple, too. If you try anything funny, I’ll chop off your mouse-clicking forefinger.”

Axel didn’t reply. It was the luckiest day in his life, entering the club pretending to be with Lucy. Loki thought this was tremendous progress. He was really looking forward to having a picture of them on his phone together. That would drive Moonclaw crazy.

“B-But—” Axel stuttered. “I don’t want Fable pretending to be Loki’s girlfriend. She is too young. She’s never had a boyfriend before.”

“How do you even know that?” Fable cried out with blushing cheeks. “Loki is going to be my third. Just for your information,” she snapped, getting the attention of some of the boys and girls waiting in the long line.

“Edgy girl,” Lucy said, impressed. “See how letting your hair down makes you feel?”

Fable smiled. Again, Loki noticed her desire to be friends with Lucy although she couldn’t stand her.

Lucy walked toward Godzilla, dragging Axel who was mouthing the word
awesome
behind her back as they held hands.

“
I really hope Ulfric doesn’t see that or you will be toast!” Loki mouthed back.

“Let’s go,
honey
,” Fable said to Loki, engaging his arm, and teasing Axel.

Lucy said something to the bouncer and he suddenly treated them like VIP’s, almost puffing rosy lilies out of his ears now. Loki frowned then nodded at him as if he was the mayor of the town and the bouncer was his employee.

“Hey,” Loki greeted him, chin up high.

“Pleasure to have you with us, sir.” The bouncer bowed his head at Fable too. “Ma’am.”

Fable pulled Loki’s arm harder. “Did he say Ma’am? That’s so cool.”

What was supposed to be a scary night looking for a Boogeyman was turning into an unexpectedly lovely night out with new friends. That wasn’t something he’d thought probable coming to Sorrow. It wasn’t even something he’d ever experienced. Good friends, jokes, and good moods, and some adventure to boot. What more could he have asked for? For the first time Loki wondered, for only a fraction of a second, if home would be as much fun.

18

Spooky Woogy Boo!

The Closet buzzed with partying Boogeymen like bees looking for honey. Most of them were unusually tall, wearing strange clothes that made them look like they were dressed for a masquerade party, not a typical night out on the town. It reminded Loki of the Deadly Ever After Party, only with adults who for the most part were dressed as pirates.

The rate of clicking glasses was intense. The pirate-looking goers spilled beer from the edges of their big wooden cups, the laughter and cheering getting louder than the band performing on the stage. It was a five-man boogie band, and they were like nothing Loki had seen before. Their instruments were oversized enchanted animals. The drum set was a huge octopus that held differently sized cymbals and drum pieces in each arm. Its head was used as the enormous front bass drum. The drummer struggled when the octopus wasn’t holding still and had to stretch his arms to hit the unstable drum pads. The singer’s microphone was a giraffe’s neck sticking out of the floor, leading Loki to assume its body was buried underneath the stage. The bass and lead guitar players held flamingos instead of guitars, strumming their stomachs and changing the chord positions on their necks. The guitar strings ran from each flamingo’s beak all the way to their necks, which were longer than usual. Every time the guitar players strummed a flamingo’s stomach, it got ticklish and bent its neck, causing the player to strum the wrongs notes. And last, but certainly not least, the piano was one big turtle. Its legs held it still on the floor, and its shell was open at an angle like a baby piano’s lid, even though it was no baby. Where the turtles head should have been sticking out, there was a keyboard. The keys were green and black instead of white and black, and they were slimy. Whenever the piano player struck a note, a number of frogs pulled the strings inside to create the desired tunes. Loki hated frogs, so he made sure he’d stay away. He also thought the piano player had nothing to fear. This big turtle wasn’t going anywhere, and if it did, it’d be in slow motion.

Still, the customers in The Closet were unimpressed by the band. Everyone was occupied with a seemingly much more important event taking place right in the middle of the hall.

Loki and his friends couldn’t see what everyone was looking at. They tried to squeeze themselves through the big crowd to get closer.

“I have a better idea,” Fable said. She crawled on all fours, finding her way under the pirate’s legs, but she had to stand up again when she was road-blocked by a couple of heavy boots.

The crowd cheered enthusiastically. Loki and the rest were curious to know what it was everyone was looking at. They forgot about the Baby Tears for the moment.

Stuck in the middle, Loki took another look at the crowd. None of them looked monstrous, although most of them wore eye patches, pirate hats, and too much jewelry. They also acted like pirates; loud, vulgar, and full of themselves. Most of them had bad teeth with green slime drooling from them. They were proud of it.

“Hey you,” Lucy yelled at a partygoer. “Is Georgie Porgie here?”

The man thought he heard something first then looked away. Of course, they were all way shorter than he was. Lucy, in her bratty feistiness, punched him. “Hey, I’m talking to you!”

The truth was she was talking to his stomach.

Loki noticed that Fable was pleased with the way Lucy treated people without fear or hesitation.

“Whaddya want, kiddo?” the man looked down at her.

Lucy shrugged. It struck her that talking to him might be a bad idea. He was intimidating with a big smirk on his face, showing his awful yellow teeth.

“N-nothing,” Lucy said, as she backed away from him. The man’s breath was unbearable.

“Wow,” Axel said. “My poop doesn’t smell that bad.”

“Apologies Mr—” Fable interrupted, trying to save the day.

The man’s eyes lit up as if he’d seen Santa Claus then smiled at Fable.

“How does she do that?” Axel scowled.

“How can I help you, little kiddo?” the man asked Fable.

“We’re looking for someone,” Fable yelled as she was squeezed by the crowd. “Someone called Georgie?” Fable shrugged; afraid the man would laugh at her. “Georgie Porgie?”

“You call Georgie a ‘someone’?” the man laughed, bad breath fuming out. Lucy was going to faint. “You’re a cute kiddo,” he raised his head and cheered with the rest, saying, “Georgie! Georgie! Georgie!”

It was obvious that Georgie was there by the table in the middle and was the spectacle everyone was looking at. Suddenly everyone was singing:

Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,

Scared the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came his way,

He scared them harder and they ran away.

“Yeah!” others called out after singing the rhyme.

“This isn’t the real rhyme,” Axel noted. “It’s been changed,” tugging at Loki’s shoulder.

“What do I care?” Loki said. “Stop analyzing.”

“In the real one Georgie Porgie runs away when the boys come to play,” Axel recited. “He’s basically capable of scaring girls but fears boys.”

“Seriously? You think this is the right time to sing to me?” Loki said, trying to reach the middle of The Closet while holding Fable’s hand.

Loki and his friends wedged themselves through until they reached the first row of the crowd, wondering what all of the hub bub was about. Reaching the table in the middle, they found something slightly different from anything they’d expected.

There was a round table with two men sitting opposite to each other. They were looking at a lot of small glasses on the table; really small glasses, enough for just one
glock
.

Each man wore the same crazy pirate outfit, only the one on the right stood out for many reasons. He was much bigger than the rest, stronger, and had a neat beard that hung like a pony-tail in a spiral dreadlocked line dangling from his chin. Each lock on the tail had something glittering in it, a small emerald, diamond or other jewel. The hair on the man’s head was long and curly, and it added a certain wilderness to his persona, like a tough and rugged warrior who everyone should respect. He had faint patches of blue mascara on his one visible eyelash, and wore an eye patch on the other. His nose was straight, and he had a strong jaw. Loki thought he looked more like a twisted version of Long John Hawkins in Treasure Island. His jewelry and outfit looked more expensive than what the other people wore, especially his purple coat and boots.

“That’s Georgie,” the man with yellow teeth told Fable, having followed them. “Everyone knows him,” he called out Georgie’s name one more time.

Loki noticed Georgie had a bowl of pudding pie next to him on the table. He wondered if he should’ve paid attention to Axel’s theories.

“The man opposite to him is Cry Baby,” the man with yellow teeth said, booing at Cry Baby who was chubby, with a bushy beard and bubbly cheeks. He had a pumpkin pie next to him.

Each man picked up one of the small glasses, took a long breath, and gulped the drink down. Each one did it separately, and while he did, everyone’s eyes were on him, watching to see if he could finish the drink.

“So this is a drinking competition?” Axel whispered in Loki’s ear.

“Looks like it,” Loki said. “They’ve been drinking for a while because there are a lot of empty glasses,” Loki saw men holding dollar bills in their hands while cheering. “It’s obvious that the crowd is betting on who’ll be able to drink the most without giving up.”

“Or passing out,” Axel suggested. “Or even better, puke it all into the other’s face.”

“I wonder what’s in the glasses,” Loki uttered.

“I think I have an idea, but you might get mad at me,” Axel replied.

“Shoot,” Loki said, not taking his eyes off the table.

“The other man is called Cry Baby, right? There is a nursery rhyme about him, too.”

“Interesting,” Loki rubbed his chin. “Tell me about it.”

“It goes like this:
Cry Baby, cry, put your finger in your eye, and tell your mother it wasn't I
,” Axel said.