So Gross! (10 page)

The bell rang for recess. ‘Rachel, Sam, meet me outside the teachers’ common room in five minutes,’ said Mrs Connell. ‘The rest of you, dismissed.’

Sam could hear Harry chanting
Sam loves Natalie
all the way down the corridor, and Tyrone going
Grunt, Grunt
, as a refrain. This Valentine’s Day thing was turning out to be the pits.

‘Coming?’ Sam asked Rachel. ‘Hang on a sec,’ she said. ‘I’ve gotta tell Thea something.’

Sam watched Rachel and Thea in whispered conversation. Girls! They always had just one more thing to say. ‘Come
on,’
said Sam.

The girls started to giggle. Sam could hear Thea say, ‘See you later,’ as Rachel called, ‘Ready!’

It’s about time, thought Sam, following her through the door. ‘What was on your card that spun Mrs Connell out?’ he asked out loud.

‘Nothing,’ said Rachel.

‘Suuure,’
said Sam. ‘You went really red.’

‘Something about sex,’ said Rachel, giving in. ‘Wish I knew who sent it.’

‘Wasn’t it Matt?’

‘Uh-uh,’ said Rachel. ‘I asked him. If I find out who it was I’ll flush their schoolbag down the loo.’

‘That bad, huh?’

‘Definitely.’

They reached the common room and waited.

Rachel kept looking at her watch, then up and down the corridor. Sam noticed the worried look on her face. ‘I’ll stick up for you, Rach,’ he said, trying to cheer her up.

‘Thanks,’ said Rachel, ‘but I can look after myself.’

There was a commotion around the corner from where they stood. Sam frowned. It sounded like a shriek and a scuffle.

‘Someone’s in trouble,’ said Rachel, pushing him in the direction of the noise. ‘You’d better go see. Quick.’

Sam rushed to help.

It was hard to describe what happened next. It was all over so quickly. One minute he was racing down the corridor, the next he was being …

KISSED!

Lips clamped on his mouth. Lips that were warm and squishy. Sam froze.

The lips tasted sweet, tangy-like. They belonged to Thea. Sam could see himself in the reflection of her glasses.

Sam pushed her away. ‘What d’ya think you’re doing?’ he said, his voice coming out like a growl.

Thea giggled. ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’

Sam was shocked, but also a little bit chuffed. His first kiss! ‘Did you send … ‘ he started to ask, but Thea took off.

This is weird, thought Sam, going back to join Rachel. All the girls are acting strange.

Unfortunately, Mrs Connell was already there. ‘You’re late.’ Her face would stop a steam train in its tracks.

Rachel winked at him and grinned. What was
she
on about? This was no laughing moment.

‘And what have you got on your face?’

‘My face?’ Sam ran his fingertips across his cheeks and chin. There was no Vegemite or toothpaste that he could feel. ‘Nothing, Mrs Connell,’ he said.

Rachel started to laugh.

‘That’s not nothing, young man,’ said Mrs Connell. ‘I suggest you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. We’ll deal with that other issue later.’

Rachel’s laughter grew louder.

‘Yes, Mrs Connell.’

‘And Sam…’ said Mrs Connell, trying to stay stern. ‘No more Valentine’s Day stuff, huh?’ He nodded and headed straight for the toilets.

‘Trying out for a job as a clown?’ asked Natalie as Sam crossed the playground.

Instinctively, he brought his hand up to cover his face. ‘Nah,’ he said. What was it with his face? And why did it have to be Natalie who saw it? He was going to continue past when he remembered something. ‘Um, Nat?’ he mumbled behind his hand.

‘Yes?’

‘About that note?’ ‘What about it?’

‘It…’ How could he say this? He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. ‘Ummm. It wasn’t me.’

Natalie blushed. She looked everywhere but at him.

I’ve blown it, thought Sam. She thinks I don’t like her. He tried again. ‘It
could’ve
been me.’ He was making a real hash of this. ‘But it wasn’t …’ His voice trailed away.

‘It’s cool,’ whispered Natalie, turning to go.

Damn, thought Sam. Now she’ll never like me.

As he was going into the toilets, Tyrone and Harry were coming out. Sam tried to dodge into a cubicle but they were too quick for him.

‘Sam loves Natalie,’ began Harry.

‘Once more and I’ll deck you,’ said Sam, forgetting to cover his face and holding a menacing fist under Harry’s nose.

Instead of looking scared Harry chuckled. ‘Who’s a pretty boy, then?’ he said.

Tyrone reached for Sam’s chin, turning it this way and that. ‘Have you just been with Rachel?’ he asked. Sam nodded,’
‘Phwoarr
, said Tyrone. ‘Natalie
and
Rachel. You sure are lucky.’

Sam didn’t like the insinuation in Tyrone’s voice. ‘Get lost,’ he said, pulling away.

‘Wonder what
Matt
will have to say?’ said Tyrone to Harry.

Sam pushed Tyrone away. ‘About what?’ he said.

‘Rachel an’ Matt are going together,’ said Tyrone. ‘You’ve been kissing Rachel.’ He flicked the corner of Sam’s mouth. Sam tried to say, ‘No, I haven’t,’ but Tyrone kept on. ‘You are in big trouble,’ he said, before making a quick exit.

Sam groaned. His day had gone from good, to bad, to dreadful. Little did he know that things could get a lot worse. Stepping up to the mirror he gasped. He was wearing red lipstick! A deep dark red lipstick. Bucket-loads of it, up to his nose and down to his chin.

It all made sense now. Rachel laughing at him in the corridor, Mrs Connell telling him to give up on Valentine’s Day, Natalie calling him a clown. The thought of Natalie made him groan again. She’d seen him like this. It was all too complicated.
Too many girls in his life — Natalie, Rachel, Thea. Thea! Wait till he caught up with her. Was she going to get it.

And then there was Harry and Tyrone. Sam could feel a sweat break out on his top lip. What if they told Matt? He’d beat Sam up for sure. And he hadn’t even kissed Rachel. A surge of anger went through him. Furiously he grabbed some toilet paper and started to scrub his face.

As the pile of red toilet paper grew, something niggled at Sam. He went over and over the kiss in his mind. And then it clicked. Thea had not been wearing lipstick. He would have noticed, especially if it was red.

The bell went to return to class.

Maybe it was trick lipstick? His sister had had some once. It was clear when you first put it on then got darker and darker as it reacted to the heat of your body. That must be it. Thea must be the one playing all these tricks! But why?

Sam peered in the mirror. The lipstick was all gone but his face remained blotchy. It would have to do. Grabbing his bag, he returned to the classroom.

Natalie inspected his face as he came in, then looked away, making no further comment. Mel, however, held up the back of her hand as he went past. She’d written a word on it, one letter for each knuckle. The word was STUD.

Oh, no, thought Sam. It’s started again.

He marched to his desk and sat down, determined to ignore Mel. But he couldn’t ignore the board. In the middle of Mrs Connell’s love heart someone had written SPEW 4 ME in thick black texta. Someone else, with red texta, had added to it — an AM under the S, a HILLIP under the P, an ARL under the E and a YLIE under the W. Beside the ME, they’d added an L. They’d even drawn a cupid shooting an arrow. A chubby little cupid with a fat butt.

So that’s why she’d called him a stud!

Sam didn’t know where to look. Every eye was on him.

Thea looked angry. Rachel looked amused. Mel looked triumphant. Natalie looked … How
did
Natalie look? It was hard to tell.

Mrs Connell walked in. She stopped, her gaze drawn to the board. She looked around the room until her eyes zoomed in on Sam.

He discovered that even armpits could blush.

‘Still at it, I see?’

‘No, Mrs Connell,’ said Sam. ‘It wasn’t me. I swear it.’

Mrs Connell looked down her nose. ‘No?’ she said, in her I-don’t-believe-you sort of voice.

‘No,’ said Sam. He spread out his hands in appeal. ‘Would anyone want the whole world to know that their name was Sammerson Phillip Earl Wylie and their initials were spew?’

‘You would,’ said Mrs Connell, ‘if your ambition was to disrupt the class.’

‘But I didn’t,’ said Sam.

‘Getting to be quite a Casanova, aren’t we?’ said Mrs Connell.

The room swelled with quiet laughter. Sam flinched. That was so unfair! ‘Go and clean the board!’

Sam walked to the front and started to rub. The heart disappeared but the rest wouldn’t budge.

‘A whiteboard marker should get rid of that texta,’ said Mrs Connell. ‘You can finish it off at lunchtime.’

Sam boiled inside. The day was going from dreadful to disastrous. He’d had enough of all these pranks. Because that’s what they were. Stupid silly pranks!

Sam was making short work of the board when he realised he was not alone. Matt had come in, as stealthily as a cat. He was leaning against Mrs Connell’s desk, arms crossed, eyes half-closed.

Sam decided to ignore him and keep on cleaning.

‘Been hearing things,’ said Matt. Sam’s hand faltered. ‘About you an’ Rachel.’

Sam swore under his breath. Harry and Tyrone! He’d kill them.

‘Know anything about this?’ asked Matt, tossing an envelope at Sam.

‘What now?’ said Sam, making no effort to catch it. It landed on the floor.

‘You tell me,’ said Matt.

With a sigh Sam picked it up. It was Rachel’s purple envelope, the one seen by Mrs Connell. He opened it and winced. There was a drawing of a girl in profile — obviously Rachel, because of the dark curly hair. Her lips were locked to a boy’s. Words were written in the air around their heads. Three-letter words beginning with ‘s’.

‘Looks like you,’ said Matt. ‘Pretty ugly.’

‘Nothing like me,’ said Sam. ‘It could be anyone.’

‘Take a close look at the T-shirt,’ said Matt, his voice menacing.

Something was on it. Sam squinched up his eyes to read the fine print, then closed them completely. It was him. No one else had a Radical T-shirt like that. When he opened them again, Matt had loomed close.

‘Look, Matt,’ said Sam, stepping back a bit. ‘I don’t know anything about this card. I never kissed Rachel, honest.’

Matt grabbed a handful of Sam’s shirt. ‘Don’t believe ya,’ he said. ‘I heard different. Something’s goin’ on.’

Sam had had enough. ‘You can’t trust Harry or Tyrone,’ he snapped, pushing Matt away. ‘They’re making it up. Something
is
going on.’ He poked Matt in the chest. ‘Something crazy — between the girls an’ me. Like a conspiracy.’

‘Whaddya mean?’ asked Matt.

‘They’re out to get me,’ said Sam. ‘This weird stuff’s been happening. First it was Rachel going all mushy, then the Natalie note, then Thea, then that stuff on the board with Mel.’

Matt looked puzzled. ‘I know about the others,’ he said, ‘but what happened with Thea?’

‘She kissed me.’ Sam was annoyed with himself when he blushed. ‘In the corridor. When I had to see Mrs Connell.’

‘Deadset?’ said Matt. ‘Cool.’

Sam looked sheepish. ‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘In front of Rachel?’ asked Matt. ‘Funny she never told me.’

‘No,’ said Sam. ‘Not in front of her. There was this noise. Around the corner. Rachel made me go and find out what it was.’

‘Didn’t she go with you?’

‘No, she didn’t. She stayed at the teachers’ common room.’ Sam re-ran the moment through his head, then looked at Matt. ‘Someone screamed. I took off to help. Rachel didn’t come with me.’ He remembered the pow-wow between Rachel and Thea before they left. And then it clicked. ‘She’s in on it. Rachel and Thea have set me up.’

Matt nodded slowly. ‘Reckon you might be right.’

Sam’s thoughts were racing. Maybe they’d done it all — sent the ‘I love Natalie’ note, written on the board, sent his Valentine’s card as well?

‘I’m pretty sure but I’m not positive,’ said Sam. ‘I’m telling you, though, I intend to find out. And when I do … . ‘ He put on his fiercest expression.

‘Look out!’ said Matt, punching his hand with his fist.

‘Er, something like that,’ said Sam. ‘I’m going to search the girls’ desks. All of them. See if I can find anything. Will you go lookout?’

‘Sure,’ said Matt.

‘Thea’s first,’ said Sam. He began to probe around. There was nothing. No red lipstick at all. ‘Hmph,’ he said. ‘That doesn’t prove anything. It’s probably in her pocket.’ He looked at Matt. ‘What
about Rachel’s desk? She’s your girlfriend. D’you want to look in there instead of me? We’re looking for either those little squares of yellow sticky paper, or something that means she could’ve sent this.’ He pulled out the Valentine’s card from his pocket, and held it up for Matt to see clearly, even opened it to show him what was written inside.

Matt’s eyes narrowed. He shook his head in disbelief. Slowly he reached inside his shirt. Out came an identical card. The same red heart shape. The same hand-drawn heart inside — only his said,

‘I love Matt’.

‘I can’t believe it,’ he said. ‘Why would she do something like this?’ He slumped against the door.

Sam felt sorry for him. It must be hard to find out your girlfriend has sent a love card to someone else. ‘I guess I don’t have to search Rachel’s desk now,’ said Sam. He went over and rested a hand on Matt’s shoulder. ‘You okay?’ he asked.

Matt gave a small nod of the head.

‘I want to check the others’,’ said Sam. ‘Aha!’ he cried, pulling two textas out from under Melanie’s desk — one red, one black. ‘She’s in on it, too.’

‘Well whaddya know?’ said Matt. ‘It
is
a set up. Mel wrote all that spew stuff about herself.’

Carefully Sam returned the pens to the exact position under Mel’s desk.

‘I guess that leaves Natalie’s,’ said Sam. There was junk everywhere. Torn pages, used tissues, pencil sharpenings galore. And then he found it.

A pad full of yellow sticky notes. His heart sank in his chest. So Natalie was guilty as well. Not Natalie! ‘Bingo,’ he said quietly to Matt. ‘We’ve got it. Proof that they’re all in on the act. Except for Thea, of course. But I don’t need actual proof for her — I know for sure that she’s guilty.’