So Much to Learn (43 page)

"That's none of
your business," he said furiously, clearly apoplectic with rage.
"Although, despite that you've managed to screw it up anyway. From
the moment you turned up and suddenly everybody had to jump to your
bloody bidding things started to go wrong!"

"So you're
suggesting I stole the manhoods of your friends?" I rolled my eyes,
honestly could this complaint get any older? The whole 'women with
their womanly wiles' thing has terrified men from time immemorial,
isn't it about time they got over it? "It's called friendship,
something you probably don't know a hell of a lot about. The guys
do things for me, I do things for them, it's symbiotic." Sensing a
way out of this stupid confrontation and hoping for a hint as to
what was going on with my best friend I added, "And if you would
just tell me what I'm doing that's making things so crap for you
maybe I could stop doing it and you could get off my back!"

"Nice try," he
snarled, "but it doesn't work like that."

Great, now he
was talking in code. Exasperated beyond belief I asked, "What
doesn't?"

"Nothing,
forget it." Clearly Micky had talked himself into some kind of hole
and I watched fascinated as he fell silent for a moment trying to
find some way out of it. Finally he seemed to remember why we were
standing there in the corridor in the first place and his famous
cocky expression slid back over his face like a mask. "Why am I
still even talking to you?" He asked. "I've got to meet the others
at the pub and celebrate the good news."

He made to walk off, but I made a wild lunge at him and
managed to catch his arm. "Matt's your friend," I tried
desperately, knowing that he could just push my arm off if he felt
like it and wanting to get my point across before he did. "Why
would you want to do that to him? I
will
tell him but not at the pub, not
in front of everyone, that's not right."

"Not right?" He
asked, raising his eyebrows at my choice of words and making me
blush as I remembered that I honestly wasn't in a position to
instruct him on right and wrong. "And, anyway, what makes you think
I was talking about you and Jack? I was talking about celebrating
Jack getting into Cambridge."

I flushed an
even deeper red and removed my hand from his arm realising that for
a couple of seconds there I had completely forgotten about that
piece of life changing news.

"Yeah, of
course you were," I said sarcastically. There was surely no way in
hell that Micky was just going to sit on this, it was too good.
"What do you want?" I asked desperately, not thinking that I really
had anything to offer him, but knowing I had to try anyway.
Unfortunately Micky was shaking his head, that cruel smile back
again.

"Do you really
think I would blackmail you with what I know?"

"Yes," I
answered instantly and his smile widened.

"Yeah, well,
maybe I would," he conceded. "So I tell you what, you be a bit
nicer to me, a bit more respectful maybe and I'll give you the
opportunity to tell Matt yourself. You can't say fairer then
that."

Yes I could, I thought mutinously, I could say a lot fairer
then that. Be a bit more respectful? Was he out of his mind? I
didn't respect him, I didn't even know if I could
fake
respecting him but I
really was in no position to argue so I nodded
reluctantly.

"There now," he
said so patronisingly that I ground my teeth together. "It looks
like we can get along after all. I'll just have to be careful that
when I see Matt that your big news doesn't accidentally slip
out…"

"Fuck you!" I
snarled, showing some more of my renowned maturity. Not.

"What me as
well?" Micky said with an unamused laugh. "Thanks but no thanks,
we're not all so desperate that we'd try to prise open your legs.
I'm surprised Jack managed it, Brad swore they were welded
together."

I was
speechless in the face of his crude remarks and was horrified to
find that a lump was forming in my chest as if I was about to cry
again. I searched around for something to snarl back at him but my
thought process was interrupted by a thin, reedy voice saying,
"Leave her alone!"

Micky and I
both froze and then looked over slowly to see Haley standing there
in the corridor looking wan and scared.

Micky recovered faster than me, his eyes calculating as he
looked her up and down. "Why the hell would you stick up for
her
?" He asked, sounding
genuinely surprised. And why shouldn't he be? I was basically
having a coronary at her appearance and decision to side with
me.

"You're being a
bully," said Haley, wringing her hands together nervously and
protesting as if being a bully was an unusual state of affairs for
Micky. "Natalia and Jack being together is none of your
business."

I closed my
eyes briefly in disbelief at her stupidity. Didn't she have the
common sense to pretend she hadn't known what he was talking about?
Apparently not.

"Jesus,
she
knows?" Micky asked me, seemingly annoyed that he wasn't the
only one with the knowledge, I suppose it did take a bit of the
edge off his power over me. I nodded curtly in reply and he snorted
in astonishment and then asked, "Anyone else?"

Not if you
discount my mum I thought, but decided to leave her out of it and
shook my head. I didn't really feel like talking anymore.

"Bloody hell,"
Micky whistled. "How long have you known?" He asked turning back to
Haley and she paled still further as if she'd hoped he'd forgotten
she was there. Honestly, if she didn't want to be involved why did
she stick her nose in?

"Doesn't
matter," she answered Micky, her voice so quiet it was almost a
whisper. "You shouldn't say anything, you should leave them
alone."

Micky looked at
her for a long time, his expression calculating before he turned
away saying dismissively, "One of these days someone's gonna knock
that innocence right out of you."

Haley's face
crumpled like a piece of aluminium foil being screwed up and
strange protective feelings that I usually only get around family
or close friends welled up inside of me. Without pausing to think
of the hypocrisy of my words I said coldly, "Lay off her."

There was a
moment there when I think we all tried to take in the strangeness
of the notion of me sticking up for Haley. I reassured myself that
it wasn't because I liked her or anything but because she'd gone in
to bat for me, tit for tat, right?

"For God’s
sake!" Micky said, throwing his hands up in disbelief. "The world's
gone mad! I'm off to the pub, alcohol makes everything simpler." He
walked towards the door leading to outside, but just before he
opened it I called after him.

"Remember that
you said I could tell Matt."

Without turning
he replied, "So play nice Talia." And then he opened the door and
walked out.

The heavy door
slammed with a loud clang leaving just Haley and me standing there
awkwardly. After a moment she said quietly, "Are you alright?"

All my slightly
positive, protective feelings about her vanished in one big whoosh.
"Oh sod off, Haley," I said crossly, "this is nothing to do with
you." Haley looked absolutely crushed and all my instincts screamed
for me to apologise, but fear, stubbornness and just plain habit
continued their dictatorship over my actions and I muttered, "I've
got to go," before throwing open the door and exiting the
building.

Micky must have
had his car with him because, as I stepped out into the car park,
he was nowhere to be seen, not that I was disappointed, by then I'd
seen enough of his ugly mug to see me through a lifetime. I stood
for a moment on the bumpy grey asphalt and wondered what I should
do. There was no way in hell I was going back up to the flat to
face Jack, or go and meet up with the others at the pub, but I
couldn't just stay where I was because surely Jack would come down
soon.

Suddenly I
realised what I needed to do. I needed a friend, I had to tell
someone understanding. There was only one person I wanted to be
with at that moment: Simone. I needed Simone to know the truth,
maybe she could even suggest ways I could tell Matt. Simmy had more
tact and compassion in her little finger than I did in my entire
body, she'd know what to do!

Buoyed with
relief at the thought of finally spilling the whole sordid story
onto someone sympathetic I hastened towards her parent's city place
wishing that I'd thought to grab my car keys as I'd run after
Micky. Still, the walk was only going to take me 25 minutes or so
and the fresh air was soothing on my red, flushed face and frazzled
nerves.

~*~

Arriving
outside the posh house in the nicer area around the university, I
ran up the steps to Simone's door two at a time, more eager to see
her than I can ever remember being. I knocked loudly on the door
and waited for a moment for her to call out that I should come in.
When I didn't hear anything after a few seconds I looked down into
the car park and checked to make sure her car was there. It was
which upped the likelihood that she was home so I knocked again, no
reply.

I was just
about to open the door and call inside to see if she hadn't been
able to hear me knocking, when the knob I was reaching for was
suddenly turned violently and Alex appeared in the doorway.
Stepping out onto the top step I was standing on, he quickly closed
the door behind himself and folded his arms, scowling at me.

"Uh, hi, Alex,"
I said, somewhat taken aback and wondering why it was that most of
our interactions seemed to begin with him opening a door suddenly
and surprising me. Maybe it was his thing.

"Hey," he
grunted, not seeming at all pleased to see me but not going down
the steps or moving out of the way of the door either.

"How's it
going?" I asked awkwardly after a couple of seconds of silence.

"Fine," he
replied in his customary succinct way.

Another couple
of seconds silence passed with Alex remaining firmly in front of
the door, feet planted firmly. He looked for all the world like a
bouncer and the glare he was giving me seemed to suggest that I was
wearing inappropriate shoes.

"Alex," I
sighed, "could you move please? I need to see Simone."

"Nuh."

Great, it was
clearly one of those days.

Taking a deep
sigh and putting on my most patient voice I asked sweetly, "Why
'nuh'?"

"She's not
here," Alex said, his eyes suddenly becoming shifty and I raised my
eyebrows disbelievingly.

"Are you
lying?" I asked straight out, knowing that Alex was not one for
playing word games. My suspicions were confirmed when he didn't
answer me but rather continued to look more and more uncomfortable.
Honestly, for a bad boy, he really was truly awful at lying!

I sighed again
and rubbed a hand tiredly across my face before saying, with just a
hint of impatience, "Really, Alex, I'm not in the mood for this
today so could you please either tell me what's going on or get out
of the way?"

He shook his
head, his eyes boring into the distance, doing his best to pretend
that he didn't even register my existence. "It's nothing to do with
me," he said blandly.

"Oh rubbish!" I snapped, reaching the end of my, admittedly
short, tether. "Simone has never refused to see me before. All this
weirdness with her began when that stuff about you and the guy on,
or should I say
off
, the fire escape came out. Can't you do us all a massive
favour and just tell the police what happened? Simone is worried
sick about you, the whole thing has gone on long
enough."

Rapidly, Alex's
demeanour changed. His eyes focused in on me and I had to hold back
a gulp such was the level of suppressed anger that was shining
there in the steely grey depths. "You," he hissed with an alarming
level of intensity laced into that one word, "don't know anything
about anything. You go on and on about how you're such good friends
with my sister but you don't know what's been going on with her, I
don't think you even care."

I opened my
mouth to object to this because it was patently not true but he
ploughed on before I could get a word in.

"And it's none
of your business, but my stuff is pretty much fixed and has been
for the last week so it's not me she's worried about."

That really did take me by surprise. The Alex thing was
resolved and Simone hadn't told me? Then again, I hadn't noticed
any change when we'd talked on the phone when I was Bridunna in
fact, come to think of it, I hadn't even asked about the situation.
Great, I really
was
a bad friend.

Alex seemed to
notice my sudden discomfit as a smirk, not unlike the one I had
seen on Micky not so long ago, tweaked the corners of his lips.
"So, not as knowledgeable as you think then," he said with the
tiniest hint of a gloat.

"Doesn't change
the fact that she went through hell worrying about you," I snapped,
angry that he was right but angrier at myself for not thinking more
about what Simone was going through.

"What goes on
between us is nothing to do with you," Alex said, his tone changing
so that he seemed to be almost pitying me. "You don't control
everything, people will do what they want to do without waiting for
permission from you first. Maybe Simone is doing something on her
own for once without you. Actually, you know what would be great?
If you would just butt out of other people's lives and concentrate
on the screw ups in yours for once."

Wow, Alex had
mastered the art of multiple sentences.