Soaring (71 page)

Stem the Bleed

I was in my kitchen in slouchy, drawstring, gray yoga pants and a soft green lightweight sweater that drooped off my shoulder and had sleeves so long they had a hole in them that I could hook over my thumb.

It was an outfit I bought over the Internet that Josie had never seen to cast her disapproval.

I loved it. It was perfect for wearing it in my kitchen with my boys with me.

Or, two of them.

Though, I’d never wear it to the diner for lunch with Josie. She was the fashion queen and she’d shared her wisdom with me. It wouldn’t do to fly in the face of that. She might stop sending me links to fabulous shoes (etc.) if I did.

It was the next morning and Lawr was leaning against the counter wearing track pants and a tight long-sleeved wicking shirt. He was sipping coffee. His silvered dark hair was wet around his neck and ears because he’d had his morning run, come back and done his sit ups and pushups out on the deck.

This was why he was lean and I was curvy.

My son had just gotten up and he was in pajama pants, a long-sleeved tee, his hair was a mess and his eyes were still drowsy.

He was also sipping coffee.

This was a new thing for him since I moved to Maine.

My boy was definitely growing up.

This caused me to feel a strange euphoric melancholy. It was good and it was bad.

It was also life.

I was getting breakfast orders, walking on air that I had a house full (almost) of people I loved and I got to make breakfast for them when the doorbell rang.

My eyes went to it and I saw the shadow through the glass telling me it was Mickey.

“Looks like Mickey, Mom,” Auden said, his voice still as drowsy as his face.

“Want me to get it?” Lawr offered.

“I’ll get it,” I replied, hurrying to the door because Mickey was there.

I unlocked it, opened it and looked up at my guy wearing his construction outfit.

“Hey,” I whispered.

His eyes smiled. “Hey back.”

I leaned into him and tipped my head back. He put a hand light on my waist and bent to me, brushing his lips against mine.

I kept whispering and didn’t move even as he lifted away a bit, “You need a key.”

I watched his eyes flare then soften as he replied, “Back at you.”

I grinned and stepped away, moving in but out of the way so he could come in behind me.

“Morning, Mickey,” Lawr called.

“Lawr,” Mickey said as he walked into my house, me at his side. He looked to Auden. “Mornin’, Auden.”

Auden held his gaze only a second before he muttered to his coffee. “Mornin’, Mickey.”

“You want coffee?” I asked and Mickey looked down at me.

“Yeah, babe, but can’t stay too long. Just checkin’ in to see you’re all okay.”

That was why he hadn’t called yet that morning. He decided to do it in person.

“I’m good,” I told him, gave him another grin, reached out and took his hand for a quick squeeze. Then I let him go and went to the cupboard with the coffee mugs.

I was in the process of taking one down when Auden declared, “I know you think I’m a dick.”

I turned and froze when I saw Auden looking up at Mickey who was leaning back against the counter two feet away from me.

“Don’t think you’re a dick, bud,” Mickey said low, his eyes leveled on my son.

“I don’t blame you seeing as I
was
a dick,” Auden replied.

“Your mom’s filled me in, Auden, so I get it,” Mickey told him.

“Okay, well, that’s cool,” Auden returned. “But just so you know I’m actually not the dick I acted like last night. And it’s not like I’m the school’s most righteous dude, but I think people know not to mess with me. And I didn’t know her before. I also didn’t know what was going down. But now that I’ve met Ash, I’ll look after her.”

Something was coming from Mickey and I continued not to move as I felt it and watched him staring at my son.

Finally, he spoke.

And when he did, his voice was gruff.

“Can’t be there to look after my girl. Would mean a lot, you do it.”

Auden held my guy’s eyes, his chest puffing up, and he nodded.

I looked to Lawrie to see him gazing at my son, the pride I felt inside shining on my brother’s handsome face.

It was in that glorious moment, with unfortunate timing, Pippa wandered out of the hall in her wrinkled PJs, her hair an attractive mussed bedhead, her eyes to her feet.

“Hey, kiddo,” I called.

She looked up, caught sight of Mickey and stopped dead.

“Come on over and take a stool,” I invited like nothing was amiss. “I’m making breakfast.”

I then turned to get Mickey his coffee, black, one sugar.

“Mornin’, Uncle Lawrie.” I heard her say timidly.

“Morning, pretty girl,” he replied.

“Yo,” she went on.

That I knew was for Auden.

“Yo,” Auden returned.

I turned to Mickey with his coffee when I heard her say, “Uh, hey, Mickey.”

“Hey, Pippa,” Mickey responded.

I looked and saw her leaning heavily against her uncle, his arm around her, but her eyes were aimed at the cupboards under the kitchen sink.

“Okay, let’s get breakfast going,” I suggested. “Who wants what?”

“You probably hate me.”

I stopped moving and looked at my girl who was looking at Mickey from under her lashes.

Shit, Mickey was getting it.

I just didn’t know how to intervene to make it easier on him or my kids.

I found out Mickey didn’t need me to.

But I should have known.

“I don’t hate you, darlin’,” Mickey said gently.

“I’d hate me,” she mumbled to his shoulder.

I looked to Mickey just as he said, “Come here, Pippa.”

She shrunk back but didn’t get far when Lawr moved his arm from around her shoulders to put his hand in the small of her back. He gave her a light push and she crept Mickey’s way.

When she got close, Mickey leaned her way, grabbed her hand and pulled her closer before he wrapped his arms around her loosely.

I held my breath as my daughter tensed in his hold.

Mickey bent his head and said quietly to the top of hers, “You got it extreme last night. You took it. You had the guts to apologize. That was big. It was appreciated. I appreciated it. My girl appreciated it. And once someone apologizes, no other move you got except to move on. You hold bad feelings, that makes you the bad guy. It’s over, darlin’. If it stays over at school, then it’s totally over. Let it go. Yeah?”

She relaxed in his arms somewhat and tipped her head back. “Is Ash gonna let it go?”

“Not gonna let my girl turn into the bad guy.” He gave her a grin. “We didn’t all have the greatest start. But one thing about that, it can’t get worse.”

Her eyes got wide with surprise and she let out a stifled giggle.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he said gently.

She nodded. “Okay, Mickey.”

“Now give me a hug and tell your mother what you want for breakfast.”

She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a quick squeeze. If I saw it correctly, he gave her a quick squeeze back. Then they separated and she looked to me.

“Cheesy eggs, Mom,” she ordered but added, “I’ll help.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” I replied, smiling at her, again walking on air wondering if anyone could see the cloud of love I had for the four people around me at my feet lifting me up. “Grab the eggs from the fridge.”

“You gotta stay for cheesy eggs, Mickey,” Auden invited. “They’re more cheese then eggs.”

“Sounds like somethin’ I can’t miss,” Mickey replied, glancing at his watch.

“If you’ve gotta go, honey, then I’ll make them some other time when you’re with us,” I offered.

He looked to me, sliding his eyes to Auden then to Pip, who was coming out of the fridge with eggs and milk, and finally back to me.

“Got time for eggs, Amy.”

He had to go.

But he was staying because my kids were worried that he didn’t like them and he wanted them to know it was all good.

I wanted to declare my love for him again right then and there.

I had to do it with a look.

Mickey gave me that look back.

“Mom, you want me to grate the cheese?” Pip asked.

I tore my attention from my guy and gave it to my daughter. “Yeah, Pippa.”

She dashed back to the fridge, and I was going to go for a bowl when I caught sight of Lawrie now studying Mickey who was sipping his coffee.

He didn’t look proud.

He looked like he approved.

As he would do.

Mickey was the greatest.

This still made me happy.

* * * * *

I sat at a table by the window at The Lobster Market.

Not the table I shared with Mickey, one closer to the front door.

I was sipping iced tea when Conrad, fifteen minutes late, walked in.

I watched his eyes move around the room until they found me and he came my way.

He was in work clothes, a very nice, very expensive suit that had not been tailored for him but made for him. His hair was trim and kept in place with minimal product. It was a style that suited him. He looked like a very successful businessman who used his money to take care of himself.

Or he looked like a talented neurosurgeon who did the same.

Studying him, it didn’t surprise me I no longer found him the least bit attractive. Harkening back, I tried to figure out how I ever did. This made me think about him coming outside during that ball.

The prince meeting his future princess, it had seemed to me at the time.

But he was a toad.

It just took me years of kissing him to find that out.

Continuing to regard him as he came to me, I didn’t take my eyes from him as he stopped at our table.

“Amelia,” he greeted.

“Conrad,” I replied.

He took his seat.

The Lobster Market was my idea. Not that I wanted to pollute my memory of being there with Mickey. Nothing would pollute that. But my ex-husband was not going to take me to some diner to have a chat, which was likely to be something I would not enjoy, and get away with an inexpensive diner bill.

He was going to buy me lobster.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he muttered, his attention on putting his napkin on his lap. “Consultation ran long.”

I was used to that from our marriage. However, there was a high likelihood that many of those consultations running long were times he was fucking nurses.

I said nothing.

The waitress came with waters and Conrad ordered a coffee.

Before she went away, Conrad looked at me and stated, “You’ve been here before. Do you know what you want? Because I do.”

He wanted this to go fast.

I was in agreement.

I turned and ordered immediately, “Lobster and steak Oscar. Steak, medium rare. Salad rather than potatoes. But I’d like the roll.”

Her eyes got a little big because that was a lot for lunch but I just smiled because it was the most expensive thing on the menu.

“For you?” she asked Conrad.

“The lobster chowder. Bowl. Salad. No roll,” Conrad ordered.

Still healthy.

Quite boring.

Mine sounded tons better.

She slid away and Conrad looked to me. “You look well.”

God, he was going to try to be polite.

But I knew I looked well.

I looked better than that.

I looked amazing.

Alyssa still did my hair and it still looked marvelous. I got weekly manicures and bi-monthly pedicures. And right then I was wearing gray cords that had a silvery sheen, spike-heeled Jimmy Choo ankle booties with ink-blue suede at the front and black leather at the heel and a black loose-fitting cashmere sweater with a deep V that showed a hint of cleavage that I’d cinched at my waist with a magnificent draping belt.

He couldn’t see my bottom half, of course, but it didn’t matter. I knew it was there. I knew it was fabulous. And I knew he’d fucked up letting go of all the magnificence of me.

Even if he never understood that, which, frankly if he didn’t was even worse for him.

I didn’t return the compliment.

“I’m sure you don’t have a lot of time so perhaps we can begin?” I suggested.

“I had my secretary clear a few afternoon appointments,” he told me.

Perhaps he didn’t want this to go fast, which was surprising.

I still did.

“Okay then, I’ll say I don’t have a lot of time because Lawr is in town and I’d like to spend time with him while he is. So can we begin?”

His jaw went hard as he turned his head and looked out the window.

The waitress came with his coffee and he didn’t say thank you or even look her way.

I thanked her for him and was about to prompt him when his attention came back to me.

“I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided not to move to Austin.”

I was annoyed for me. Him in Texas would be a good thing.

I was happy for my kids. They’d get over being upset with him and they needed their dad close. They also needed lives where they weren’t getting on a plane and flying across country every three weeks.

“I think that’s the right decision,” I told him.

“Tammy doesn’t agree,” he muttered.

Ah.

The new one was called Tammy.

“Nothing changes,” I remarked, but it was frustrated, not annoyed. “You worry about what this unknown Tammy would think and not your current wife.”

His eyes narrowed on me. “There’s no reason to make this ugly, Amelia. That’s one of the reasons why I asked you to lunch, so we can bury the hatchet and try to find some middle ground in order that we’re not always at each other’s throats. It’s not good for the kids. And this is more important now that I’m staying in Maine.”

“You’re correct,” I agreed. “However, I will point out that the woman parade isn’t good for the kids either.”

“That’s hardly any of your business,” he told me.

“I’m afraid it is when my boyfriend and his kids are there, as well as my brother, watching along with me as my son loses his mind and rips into his father.”

He said nothing, just focused on preparing his coffee. He took no milk unless it was skim and one sweetener.