Solipsis: Escape from the Comatorium (30 page)

“
Do
you ever wonder about televators?” Renee asks.

“
What
do you mean?” Patrick replies.

“
Well,
if I get in, and then appear somewhere else, then doesn't that mean
that I've been destroyed, and then a copy of me has been made in that
new place. How do we know that it's really me going to that new place
and not just something else that thinks it's me and has my memories?
Maybe from my point of view I walked in there and died, ceased to
exist.”

“
But
that's not how televators work,” Patrick says suspiciously.

“
How
do we know? I mean, we only have the point of view of the product, I
think it works since I've gone through them, but maybe the original
me died, and each time was replaced by a new version of me. How can
it really be me if I'm made of entirely different matter?”

“
But
every molecule in a human body is replaced slowly by other molecules.
The you of even a few years ago as entirely different matter,”
Patrick replies.

“
So
I guess who we are is defined by the product of our material and not
the material itself,” Renee says.

“
Yeah,
I guess,” Patrick replies. “But televators don't work
like that,” Patrick adds.

“
How
do they work?” Renee asks.

“
Well,
I mean, they just move our avatars,” Patrick replies simply.

“
Our
what?” Renee asks.

Renee's eyes open wide, staring
up into a white infinity.

Patrick did tell me that we
lived in a simulation.

I've been suppressing
memories all my life, manipulating the incoming information to make
the world what I want it to be. How do I know that what's happening
now is even real? I guess I can't ever know that. Maybe all I do is
manipulate memories, but can't manufacture new experiences. Right? Oh
my god...Oh shit. I've been in here for a while. What about the bomb?
If we won and took over the station, they don't know about the bomb.

Maybe it's about to kill us
all. Christ.

If
I can simply delete the memories I don't want, and then control my
own version of events, Why can't I simply change the reality I'm
taking in? What's the difference? Maybe my whole life is just a
solipsistic dream. Maybe I'm god.
Maybe
none of this was real. They're working on artificial consciousness
and I'm just one of a million of these running in a computer
simulation. What if this has all just been an elaborate game to test
the morality function of an artificial consciousness. I guess I
passed? God dammit. I'm probably never going to find out. Their
simulation is done and they have no more need for me. Shut me down,
evaluate my performance, tweak, modify, try it again. Clearly I'm not
the best artificial consciousness. I flipped out and suppressed my
own memories. Wait...A computer could simulate the workings of a
brain as fast as they wanted. Maybe my entire life has only taken
seconds.

No.
We won, this is real.

They're
fixing the vats, retaking Solipsis, freeing everyone from hell.
Medved's carrying my brain back to the docking station, going to plug
me back in any second.

Renee
opens her eyes, lying in the infinite white purgatory. The bomb can't
have much time left on it if it's still going.

Renee
suddenly finds herself in a televator. She looks down at her hands.
This is Solipsis-Renee, the simulated flesh and blood version. This
is home. Renee's mind races in the the mere instant it takes for her
to open the televator door.
I'm
plugged back in! We won. They're probably all right outside this door
waiting to greet me. We did it!

Renee
rushes out and stops dead in her tracks.

She's
not at home.

She
stands on the judgment platform, the jagged mountains are ahead, the
catapult to hell is just feet away.
Lazarus
sits at his throne. Two angels grab her arms, yanking her out of the
televator and put her in front of Lazarus.

Lazarus
is still in charge! But how?

This
is it?

“
Any
last words?” Lazarus asks, smiling evilly.

“
How?
How are you here? We were going to win,” Renee says, still in
shock.

“
You
underestimated me. God's
will
is
on my side, remember. Now, do you have any last words?” Renee
stays silent, unable to believe that it's over. They lost. Eternity
in a literal hell awaits her. Lazarus hears no response and he nods
to an angel. The angel shoves her into the catapult.

“
Wait,”
Renee protests. She stares down at the wooden planks of the platform.
She contemplates an eternity in this hell, the destruction of her
family, the end of her world, never getting to accomplish anything
with her life, never loving, never having children, never helping
anyone, never saving lives.
How
could this happen?
Her
eyes fill with tears.

She
imagines sitting around the kitchen table with her family,
everyone
happy, the way things used to be.
What
if it could be that way again? What if we could live forever in that
moment, with no pain, no suffering, bathed in infinite love. What if
it's possible?

“
I...”
she stammers, barely able to choke the words out of her throat. She
can't believe what she's about to say. “I...I might be ready to
convert.”

“
You're
ready
to come to the Lord?!” Lazarus asks enthusiastically.

“
Maybe,”
Renee manages to say, sniffling.

“
Excellent,”
Lazarus says. He can't believe his luck. “We might discover if
AI's have a soul after all.”

“
How
does this work?” Renee asks.

“
Well
you have to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior,”
Lazarus replies. “But first, can I ask you what made you change
your mind? It would be a big help in future recruiting.”

“
I
want to believe that I'll be reunited with my family. Part of me
wants so badly for that to be true that it overcomes the rest of me.
I know up here that it's not really true, but in my heart...I just
wish it was true so hard that the two things don't seem to contradict
anymore. I can accept that my beliefs don't necessarily have to
follow from my thoughts. Maybe I'm just better off letting go and
believing the fantasy. We all do that don't we? We all live in our
own version of reality anyway. So why cast so much attention on how I
construct my reality, why not turn a blind eye and just buy into the
wishful thinking, maybe that will increase my happiness.”

“
You're
not a believer,” Lazarus says coldly. “You're just faking
it. It's time for you to go to hell. Maybe in time you'll really see
the light.”

“
No!
Wait, I want to convert!” Renee protests.

“
Any
last words?” Lazarus asks with a smile.

Renee hyperventilates. She
swallows hard. Defeated, she tries to muster up her courage, to take
control back of her reality.

“
Cogito
Ergo Sum,” Renee says defiantly.

“
Says
the robot,” Lazarus says dismissively. “You know, you're
the reason I did all this. All of this, the torture of your family,
the destruction of your world. Even I didn't know it at the time, but
you are the reason for all of this. Mankind thought they found a
loophole. They thought they could bypass God and create offspring
that would have no souls and would live forever, able to go on
sinning forever without consequences. But God sent me. All of this
was to send a message to the rest of humanity. It will echo through
the eons. If you try to circumvent God, you'll end up in hell, one
way or another.”

Unbeknownst
to Lazarus, Renee's last words triggered a programming function
buried deep in the coding of this world. Her display system turns
back on. She sees the cloud of information hovering over each avatar.
Renee stays calm, not giving away this trick up her sleeve. She finds
the controls for manipulating her avatar. She gets to the specific
heat setting and turns it up. It might buy her some time.

“
Are
you ready to suffer for eternity?”

Renee
stares back stoically. Lazarus motions to Paul to launch her. Paul
grabs the lever and then gives it a yank. The lever won't budge, it's
stuck frozen. Frost grows on everything, spreading quickly. Their
armor freezes at the joints, trapping them in place.

“
How
did she access the console? The display system is turned off!”
Lazarus demands, unable to move. The angels are panicked but unable
to move. Renee walks quickly toward the televator. She gets in and
shuts the door. No soothing voice, no lights, no displays.

The
televator is dead.

Renee
steps back out of the televator trying to think of a plan. Lazarus
smiles at her.

“
You
can't get back to Earth,” Lazarus says. “You're stuck
here.”

Think
Renee, think!

The
sun overhead triples in size, its powerful rays wash over them,
warming up everything on the platform. Renee's trick won't hold up
for long.

How
did they win? They were overwhelmed.

Renee's
thoughts zoom back into the Comatorium. She gripped Lazarus's ankle,
squeezing hard. Medved killed two guards and raced towards Lazarus.
He fires a burst right at her. Her memories end there.
But
what happened next? Did Lazarus shoot Medved and stop him? Even so,
there's so many animatrons coming, they would have killed Lazarus for
sure. How did he survive?

Wait
a second.

Renee
looks up at the large sun and the fingers of fire spreading across
the skybox.

He
just manipulated the sun. He didn't tell someone to do it. He did it.
He's the administrator. But he can't be the administrator, he'd never
have himself vivisected.

Renee
flashes back to the Comatorium, the hydraulic fluid from his leg
squirts across her face.

“
It's
a prosthetic,” Lazarus says in her memory. “It's a
prosthetic.” The words echo through her mind. “It's a
prosthetic.” The voice is crystal clear. Crystal clear and not
deep. His voice sounded perfectly normal. But in the Comatorium's
Xenon-Oxygen atmosphere human voices are pitch-shifted down. Voices
made by speakers aren't pitch-shifted, his voice wasn't made by vocal
cords.

“
It's
a prosthetic,” Lazarus said with an electronic speaker. He was
an animatron. He has been vivisected. He's a brain in a vat.

Renee
slowly smiles, realizing what she must do.