Solo (16 page)

I sat in the middle of my field. My mind was racing. I was ready for my dad to come home. I'd never wanted to move so badly in my life. Boarding school sounded better than this place. Actually, anywhere would be better.

School would be a nightmare now. Sasha already hated my guts. I knew she was thinking I came on to Evan. There was no way I had an interest in that despicable, revolting, son-of-a-
beep.
I'd ruined Casey's birthday. I didn't know if she would be upset with me. She was the only one who made me feel welcome here, and I'd messed it up. What was going through her mind right now? I'm sure Sasha was filling her head with lies and trying to convince her that she was right about me.

The worst part was Lucas. He'd witnessed that awful kiss. How was I going to face him now? Would he even give me a chance to explain? I'd been pushing him away and that repulsive kiss had to make him think I was a hypocrite. He probably thought I'd kissed Evan to get back at him for his date with Sadie.

I felt a raindrop on my arm and looked up. The sky was crying for me. I couldn't hold back my own tears. They streamed down my cheeks. I'd always been so strong and never let the small things get to me. I felt like Myrtle Creek had finally broken me. I sat in the rain, hoping it would wash me away.

I noticed the sky getting darker. I wasn't sure if the rain had washed my markings off the trees. That was the last thing I needed right now.

I stood, turned around, and gasped. There was silhouette in the trees. The rain made it difficult to see if it was a person. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping no one would be there when I opened them again. But, to my horror, the figure remained.

My heart thumped. My hands trembled. I was so scared I couldn't scream. Not that it would make a difference. Panic set in when I realized no one knew where I was. In fact, no one knew about this place. I had to think fast. What could I do to defend myself? I reached in my pockets to see if I had anything to use as a weapon. I didn't. I just had my cell phone with no signal unless I was on the other side of the field. My mind screamed:
DO WHAT YOU DO BEST—RUN!

I kept my eyes on the dark figure while slowly easing toward the edge of the field. I wasn't sure if I'd been seen and didn't want to make any hasty movements. I knew that if I could get out of the meadow and into the woods, I might have a chance. I would run like there was no tomorrow.

The figure stepped beyond the tree line. "Lucas! What the heck are you doing here?" I screamed through the rain. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry. I've been looking for you."

"How did you know I would be here?" I demanded, still trying to calm my shaking body.

"I've seen you here a few times. Besides, your car is parked on the side of the road."

I didn't know if I was embarrassed, mad, or both. "I'm so confused."

"Casey saw everything with Evan." He shook his head. "She told me what happened. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm
fine
. I just need to get out of this town."

"Are you really fine?" he shouted through the downpour.

"Why does it matter to you? It's really not your problem."

"Well, you're my friend, and my friends are important to me." He walked closer. "I don't like to see you upset."

"Since I'm stuck here for a year, be prepared to see me upset. Just when I think things are getting better, they get worse." I turned my back on Lucas and jogged toward the forest.

"Don't let them get to you," he called, following close behind.

"Easy for you to say."

"I've dealt with them before and it's taken me awhile to learn to avoid them altogether. You don't know what it took for me to show up at Casey's house today."

I turned and stared at him, water pouring down my face and body. "What did it take for you to go to Casey's house?"

"The answer to that should be obvious." He looked at me and smiled.

I looked away. "I'm sorry. I thought I'd explained that I wasn't looking for anything serious—
just
friends."

"You keep saying that, but what if something serious finds you anyway?"

I turned and searched for my marked trees. "I don't want to get my heart broken or break someone else's."

"If you keep pushing people away, you're going to be very lonely," he snapped.

"It's better than being heartbroken," I lashed back.

He walked around me. "Follow me, I'll show you the way out."

Did he finally understand that a relationship was out of the question? "So, we can just be friends?" I called, following him.

"Yeah, friends," he grumbled.

We didn't speak again until we reached the road.

"Have a good night, Eliana." He crossed the road to his truck.

"You too." I stood next to my car, drenched.

He climbed into his truck and just sat there. I stood in the rain, starting to regret my remarks. When I opened my car door, Lucas started his engine. I realized he was waiting until I was safely in my car before pulling away.

On my way back to my grandparents' house, I wished I'd said something different. I'd been too hard on Lucas. I knew he wouldn't be the same around me. He'd picked the wrong night to have a conversation about feelings, especially after the fiasco at Casey's house.

When I arrived at my grandparents' house, I went straight to my room, not saying a word to anyone. I changed into pajamas and threw myself face first on my bed.
What. Is. Wrong. With. Me?

Tap…tap…tap. "Honey, can I come in?" Mom asked.

"Sure."

"What's the matter?"

"Mom, you
really
don't want to know."

"If something is bothering you, I really
do
want to know."

I couldn't hide my tears. Starting from the beginning, I told my mom about Lucas showing up at the party and my excitement. Then I told her about the unexpected kiss from Evan and Sasha calling me a whore. Finally, I got to the part about Lucas finding me and our conversation. I wiped my tears and told her I regretted what I'd said to him and didn't know how to make things right. I confessed that I really did like him, but I was afraid. I talked for over an hour.

"What should I do?" I cried.

"Honey, don't put your life on hold for a year. We haven't been here long and you're already having regrets. Wouldn't you rather enjoy a year with an amazing guy rather than regret not trying?"

"Yeah, but I like him so much already. I can only imagine how I'd feel if I really let my feelings go. Besides, I hurt him. What can I do to fix it?" I sobbed.

"Well, tomorrow, go to his house and talk to him. Explain that you were really upset tonight."

"Yeah, maybe," I said through sniffles.

"As for Sasha, just remember, she lashed out because of jealousy. She's not worth getting worked up over. There are other people at that school, hang out with different crowd."

"Thanks Mom, I really needed to talk."

"Honey, I'm always here." Mom walked to the door. "Just sleep on it. You're smart. You'll find a solution."

"Okay." I grinned through my tears.

"Good night." She softly closed the door.

I knew she was right. I needed to talk to Lucas. I just didn't know if I had the guts to go to his house. Besides, I didn't know his address. I rolled over and eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, I knew what I had to do. I took my time getting ready. I figured I would call Casey and apologize and then I'd ask for directions to Lucas' house.

The directions were easy enough. If I followed the main road over the mountain, I'd come to a white post fence. The entrance to his driveway was a large white mailbox that looked like a barn. It seemed so easy the way she described it.

I left the house not saying goodbye. I'm sure my mom knew where I was going. I didn't know if Lucas would even talk to me, but I had to try and make him understand the thing I feared most. He was the first guy who'd given me constant flutters and he meant so much to me. I was afraid that if I continued being stubborn, I'd lose any chance of him being in my life, even as a friend.

I kept driving along the white post fence, but it went on forever. I couldn't believe his property was so big. I was relieved when I finally saw the white barn mailbox. I was there, or so I thought. I turned into the driveway and drove for five minutes. The poor guy must get up extremely early to get to school on time, and he was always there before me.

When I pulled up to an enormous white farmhouse, the flutters in my stomach got worse than ever.
Just breathe. You can do this.

I rang the doorbell, kind of hoping no one would answer. Luck wasn't with me. His mom answered the door. We both looked surprised. It was Carrie, Mom's best friend from school.

"Hello?" she smiled. "It's good to see you again."

I swallowed the knot in my throat. "Hello, Mrs. Andrews, is Lucas around?"

"Oh, you just missed him. He went to the stables."

"The stables?"

"Yeah, if you head back down the driveway you'll see a dirt road, turn left. It'll take you there. You might want to hurry though. I think he planned on riding and he'll be gone for hours."

"Thank you." I turned and ran back to my car. I really didn't want to miss him. I followed her directions. When I got to the stables, Lucas' truck was parked outside.

Please, still be here.

An older man stepped outside when I slammed my door. I figured he was Mr. Andrews. He looked like he was about my dad's age.

"Can I help you, young lady?" he asked firmly.

"Um, I was told that Lucas might be here." The man made me nervous.

"Hold on, let me see if he's left yet."

"Thank you, sir."

It felt like forever. Finally, Lucas strolled out of the stables. I couldn't tell if he was confused or upset when he saw me standing there.

"Eliana, what are you doing here?" There was no hello, or nice to see you. I could tell he wasn't in the greatest of moods, and after last night, I couldn't blame him.

"I need to talk to you for a minute. But if it's a bad time, I'll catch you at school." I was so nervous my knees were shaking. I didn't give him a chance to answer before turning back to my car.

He ran up behind me. "No, wait, I have a minute."

We both reached my car at the same time and I turned to look at him. I said the first thing that came to mind. "Wow, I never pictured you as the cowboy boots type."

He chuckled. "Did you drive your little car all the way out here to talk about my boots?"

"No." I paused. "I actually came here to apologize for last night. I feel really bad. I was upset about what happened at Casey's and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." I looked down at his boots and couldn't help but smile.

"Apology accepted. Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah—I think." Looking into his aqua eyes, I felt the flutters take over. "Actually, I have more to say, but I don't want to keep you. We can talk later. If you want, you can call me when you get back and maybe we can meet somewhere?"

"I have a better idea, why don't you come with me?"

"Um, I've never been on a horse before. I think it would be a very bad idea." I rubbed my head.

"There's that head rub again," he joked.

I looked toward the barn and said, "I don't know."

"Eliana, I'm an experienced rider. I promise I'll keep you safe." He cupped my chin in his hand and guided my eyes to his. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Now, how can I say no to that?"
Did I really just agree to go horseback riding?

Lucas flashed his amazing grin. "You can't."

"You win, but if something happens, I get to say 'I told you so'. I didn't bring my cowboy boots, will my sneakers work?"

"Yeah, your sneakers will be fine." He grinned and motioned toward the stables.

I followed him. He asked if I would be more comfortable on my own horse or riding with him. Even though I wanted to be next to him, I decided to ride on my own. If our conversation got heated like the night before, I figured the distance would be better for the ride back. He picked out Old Winnie for me. She was the slow, calm horse out of the bunch. I stood back and watched him saddle her. He told me what he was doing while he did it, but I only half listened. I was too busy staring at his biceps when he tightened the reins.

"Oh, I need to call my mom. I'll be right back; my phone is in the car."

"Okay. I'll be a few more minutes, anyway."

Mom didn't mind, she figured I'd be gone all day anyway. When I told her about going horseback riding, she said it would be good for me to try something new. I put my phone in my pocket and went back to Lucas. He was holding the reins of two horses. "All set?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm as ready as I'll ever be," I said nervously.