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Authors: Will Thomas

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BOOK: Some Danger Involved
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Considering how cold and aloof Harm had been to me over the last week or two, I was amazed at the sudden transformation in him. He now wanted to be my best friend. While I searched for a plate and silverware, the Pekingese began making aerial leaps a Chinese acrobat would envy. When I sat down with my slice, he stood beside my knee on his back limbs, waving his paws and gurgling like a baby. What can one do after such a performance? I split the pie with him, then we mutually agreed we needed a second slice. After that, we each had some water and went back to reading. That is, I went back to reading while he dozed in the other chair.

I must confess I thought him useless as a watchdog, snoring in the chair as he was. At less than a stone, he didn’t meet my standards in regard to size, though my ankles attested to the sharpness of his teeth. I noticed, however, that at the slightest sound, the settling of the house, perhaps, or a late-night cab passing through the Elephant and Castle Circle outside, he woke from his slumbers and looked about with those goggly eyes of his. The little dog taught me a lesson about Barker, and all the satellites that revolved around him: they may look harmless enough, and perhaps even a trifle ridiculous, but there are hidden abilities behind the outward appearance. Did I dare hope that the same could be said of me?

15

I
T WAS NOT A GOOD MORNING. DUMMOLARD
made me coffee and an omelet in the kitchen, but neither of us was in a garrulous mood. He moved about, the stump of a cigarette in his teeth, ready to bite off my head at the first comment. I’d had a small disagreement with my employer the night before, had not endeared myself to the butler, and now I was in danger of angering the cook.

Barker came down the stairs, as steady as the eight twenty from Brighton. He greeted me formally and led me outside to the curb. Racket at least had a smile for me, though Juno seemed unimpressed. Perhaps she associated me with the shot last night. The new glass and patch on the woodwork of the cab were as evident as Racket had predicted. Barker and I rode to the office in Craig’s Court in relative silence. He asked but one question.

“How’s
Deronda
coming along?”

“Fine, sir. How did you know I was reading it?”

“I saw the book on your table just now before I came down,” he responded.

“Is it all right for me to borrow it?”

“The library is open to you, lad.”

In the office, I felt more like an actor than an agent’s assistant. I hadn’t sat at my desk more than once or twice, hadn’t used any of the materials in the top drawers, and hadn’t even opened the bottom ones.

Barker drafted a letter to a
Sûreté
inspector in French. Then we attempted a letter to a retired criminologist in Vienna but bogged down completely. I didn’t know a word of German, and when he wrote down a word for me, I couldn’t read his horrid scrawl. We agreed to send it in English and hope that the old duffer could find a translator.

Finally, Barker finished his office business, or perhaps he merely took pity on me, and we climbed into another cab. Barker yelled “Chelsea” over our heads, and we were off.

“What is in Chelsea?” I asked.

“Aesthetes,” he responded. I had read in
The Times
how that district of the West End was rapidly filling up with artists, poets, authors, and let us not forget the wealthy female patrons who feted them. In drawing rooms there, Mr. Whistler was slinging paint for all he was worth, and the arbiters of taste and fashion walked those gilded streets. I noticed a picturesque fellow in a velveteen suit leaning against a building, looking as if he had barely enough energy to smoke the cigarette that hung limply between his thick lips.

We disembarked in front of a fashionable-looking residence in Cheyne Row, with a brass doorknocker in the form of a sunflower. Our rap brought to the door a Sikh manservant in a suit and a turban of an unrelieved peach color, which in no way diminished his fierce appearance. He took our card and led us through an overdecorated hall, awash in Liberty wallpaper and heavy furniture. He carried our card into a room and emphatically closed the door behind him. After a moment, he opened it again, bowed, and ushered us in. The room was a book-crammed study, filled mostly with classics, less modern and more academic than the outside of the residence would lead one to expect. A white-haired gentleman sat at his desk, scribbling away at his journal. He set down his pen and turned at our approach. I was unprepared for his appearance. It was Walter Rushford, my old tutor from Oxford.

I had read in the newspaper that he was settled now here in London, probably in the same article about the aesthetic movement. A wag therein had called him “Old Nebuchadnezzar,” after the Babylonian king from Daniel, for at the pinnacle of his fame and genius, with his books flying out of the bookshops, and with invitations to speak the length and breadth of England, he had suddenly gone quite thoroughly mad. Some called it a brainstorm brought on by overwork, some a natural extension of his genius, and others a punishment for his radical beliefs. No one would say exactly what form this madness took (perhaps he ate grass like his biblical predecessor), but the outcome was swift: he was quietly sent to a sanitarium outside of London. Now that I found myself confronted with him, I was busy worrying that he would recognize me, and wondering what he would say when he did.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” he said, graciously. “May I be of service to you?”

“You may, sir, you may,” my employer began. “I am Cyrus Barker, and this is my assistant. We’d like a word, if possible.”

“Certainly. Won’t you be seated?”

We sat. I took a moment to surreptitiously observe my old professor. Though he was only in his late forties, his hair had gone white during his stay in the asylum. All his faculties seemed to be still with him, however, and he appeared hale and hearty for all his recent misfortunes. He turned a curious eye my way, and I could see that he recognized me but couldn’t exactly place me. One could see him going through filing cabinets in his mind, looking for my picture. I hoped, for my sake, that the filing room had been overturned enough that one file in particular had been lost forever.

“Mr. Rushford,” Barker said. “A few nights ago a young Jew was murdered in Aldgate—crucified, in fact—by a group calling itself the Anti-Semite League. Have you ever heard of such an organization?”

“No, sir, I have not.”

“I have been retained to discover the identities of the men responsible for this crime, and I am leaving no stone unturned. You, sir, are one of the stones.”

“Me? Surely you’re not implying that I had anything to do with the matter?” he asked.

“No, sir, I merely came to solicit your aid in my investigation. It is true, is it not, that you are an exponent of the science of eugenics, that you are in fact its most vocal exponent?”

The scholar got up to pace. “I don’t know about that. Sir Francis Galton invented the science, and he still lives. I wholeheartedly believe in it, and I speak my mind when I believe in a cause. I am a philosophical eugenicist; that is to say, I believe some races are genetically inferior to others and must be governed by those more capable. Our superiority is what has made us a world empire. But I would not call for the destruction of other races, not even one little Jew. Certainly I would not be part of an organization that committed such an atrocity.”

“Perhaps not, sir,” Barker continued, “but in one of your published essays you claimed that were the Jews to be assimilated into the general population, they would produce a race which was ‘physically stunted, mentally decayed, and morally corrupt.’ What solution do you propose?”

The professor shrugged his shoulders. “None at all. Not for the Jews that are already here. But I think we should shut our borders. I don’t object to Jews, and I know many, but I do not wish my country inundated with them. Close to a hundred thousand have arrived here in the past few years. They are un-educated and superstitious, little better than animals. Some are criminal, and some are insane. The East End is already rife with other disasters: the Irish, the Italians, even the Cockneys. It’s like some terrible melting pot, producing a noxious brew.”

“But, sir,” Barker continued, “are you not concerned that your published philosophical musings may encourage your readers to take the crusade into their own hands? We mustn’t forget the hysteria in 1291 that resulted in the Jews’ being driven out of England. Do you wish that to happen again?”

My old tutor looked at us hard. “I do. I hope it is as bloodless as possible, but I agree with it. We are dealing with issues larger than ourselves: a people, nay, an organism defending itself against contamination. We are seeing one of Darwin’s principles at work, that of natural selection. I cannot help you, gentlemen. I cannot interfere.”

“Mr. Rushford,” Barker continued, “We have not come here today to debate race or religion with you. Names, sir! I need the names of possible members of the Anti-Semite League. I’ll concede that to your way of thinking, a pogrom is a naturally occurring phenomenon. But we have a mob of citizens taking a man off the street and crucifying him from a telegraph pole in the middle of the City. That is—”

“Madness?” Rushford drew himself up to his full height and grasped the lapels of his coat, as he once did while pontificating. “I think I am a better judge of madness than you, having so recently escaped it. It is not madness to want the best for one’s people. Even now, in Limehouse, the blooms of English womanhood are walking arm in arm with Chinese men. In Soho, they are fawning over Negro minstrel singers from America. It is not madness to wish to safeguard our women and ourselves!”

Barker responded calmly. “We have gotten off track. What of these killers? Will you help us, or will you side with murderers?”

Rushford looked down at the floor for a moment, debating in his head between his beliefs and his disinclination to see blood spilt.

“No, no, no, I cannot help you,” he said finally. “If the blood of one Jew may stem the tide of thousands washing in, it has served a purpose. I am not acquainted with anyone whom I believe capable of doing such a deed, and I do not countenance murder, but I will not stop nature from taking its course. Do you know that the Royal Army is complaining that the average recruit is much smaller than a generation ago? Look at this little fellow here.” He gestured toward me.

My cheeks burned at the insult. “Sir, I am of a very pure Welsh strain.”

Barker gently took my arm. “Llewelyn, it is time for us to leave.”

“Llewelyn?” My old tutor pounced on the name. “Thomas Llewelyn, is that you? Of course it is! Well, well, so this is where you finally washed up. I might have known, since no respectable employer would have you. How does it feel to be one of the hounds instead of the fox? I hope your time in jail proved…educational.”

“More so than Burberry Asylum, apparently, Professor,” I retorted. “They let you out too early. You’re still as mad as a hatter.”

“We were just leaving,” Barker rumbled, manhandling me across the room. “Thank you for your time.”

I looked over at the tall Sikh, who stood by the door glowering at us. He escorted us out and slammed the door behind us.

“Why the deuce didn’t you tell me you knew the fellow?” my employer demanded at the curb.

“If you didn’t insist on keeping our every destination as secret as the road to El Dorado, I would have done so. You might have realized the possibility, given that we were both at Oxford. To think I once admired the man! I had signed copies of his essays and poetry. If I had them now, I’d burn them in the dustbin!”

“Thomas, I must ask you to follow my lead,” Barker insisted. “You are still untrained and can cause setbacks in my investigations. As it is, I was forced to take you out of there before I had the answers to a few more questions.”

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid I had a problem with Rushford. I think I can reasonably state that it won’t happen again, unless we suddenly move the investigation to Oxford.”

“What do you think of him as a suspect?” Barker asked, nodding in the direction of the house.

“Oh, I think he’s an excellent candidate. He despises being out of the limelight, and these new theories of his are controversial enough to get him back in the newspapers and journals. He is still mad; he’s just traded obsessions.”

“Perhaps you are a trifle prejudiced, but I agree. We cannot rule him out as a suspect.”

“He is mad,” I insisted. “All these eugenicists are mad.”

“No, Thomas, people are like teapots. They need to let out a little steam from time to time. The citizens of London are genuinely worried about the influx of so many aliens; they feel powerless to stop it, so of course, they complain. Complaining is the only civilized form of regress. Crucifixion, on the other hand, is a barbaric form of torture that should have been left in the first century. It is the work not of civilized people but of madmen.”

16

F
ANCY A SPOT OF LUNCH, LAD?” BARKER
asked after we returned to the cab. It was nearing noon.

“Ho’s?” I asked, glumly. I was beginning to dread the place. Good as it was, I didn’t think I could live on a thrice weekly diet of shark’s fin soup or the like.

“No, something different,” my employer answered, to my relief. He rapped on the trap with his cane. “The Neopolitan, in Marsham Street! Ever eaten Italian food?”

“No. Is it spicy?”

“Well, it’s not Etienne’s Scottish feast, if that’s what you prefer.”

We crossed London again. For a Scot, Barker had certainly hugged the town to his bosom. He had a cosmopolitan’s knowledge of the whole of the town and thought nothing of crossing it to get to a particular restaurant or public house. We finally found the establishment in Westminster, a respectable-looking building with a façade in dark mahogany and marble. The restaurant’s name was in gold letters, flanked by two Italian flags, which, on closer inspection, I could see were actually enameled tin.

Inside, we found checkered floors, white tablecloths, and dripping candles in old Chianti bottles. The walls were cleverly painted to look like an old piazza in Naples, with red brick showing through crumbling plasterwork. A crack team of Italian waiters stood at the ready in crisp, starched white aprons and waxed mustaches. One of them detached himself from the others and solicitously led us to a table.

Barker ordered for us both: seafood for himself, and some sort of “sampler” fare for me. I had no idea what to expect and I was pleasantly surprised: vermicelli pasta noodles in a flavorful tomato sauce with some sort of white cheese. It was indeed spicy and garlic-laden, but not excessively so. As for Barker, his meal looked like it had been prepared in the galley of Captain Nemo’s
Nautilus.
Yawning clamshells, mussels, and octopus tentacles predominated.

“What is this?” I asked, pointing to a breaded item on my plate that looked like fish but was clearly not.

“Aubergine,” Barker murmured. “If you will take your face out of the trough for a moment, lad, let’s play a little game. I contend that there are three men in this room who are armed, besides myself, of course. Let’s see if you can come up with the same three, without appearing to look around.”

Honestly, it’s a wonder I didn’t have a case of permanent dyspepsia. Was every place we went into full of conspirators and thugs? I was beginning to think the world had gone mad. Luckily for me, there were small, mirrored panels around the top of the room, in imitation of the Café Royale. I cleared my throat and brought the napkin up to my mouth.

“The fellow by the staircase,” I muttered. He had a foot up on the second rail, and was resting his forearms against the banister, with an air of careless watchfulness.

“Obvious.”

“The fellow in the far back by the door, with his chair up on two legs.”

“Another guard. And the third?”

I took another bite of aubergine, though it had lost what subtle taste it had, and glanced about again.

“I can’t find the third.”

“Middle of the room, having a simple bowl of soup and a glass of Chianti. Brilliantined hair, pencil mustache, nicely dressed—”

“Got him. Do you know him?”

“Of course. That’s Vittorio, or rather Victor Gigliotti, our host. He’s paying for our meal. After we eat, we will pay our respects.”

We finished and went to his table. He was a sharp-faced but handsome fellow, immaculately dressed in a dove gray lounge suit. His right hand was a mass of diamond rings and his left hand was bare. Barker and I waited as he addressed the bowl in front of him, and when he was done, he looked up.

“Gentlemen,” he said, displaying a mouth of vulpine teeth. “How marvelous that you could come. Did you enjoy your meal?”

“The best in London, as always,” Barker bowed.

“That is good, but your friend has a sour face. Perhaps we could get him a bromide.”

“That won’t be necessary. It is his first time to try Italian cuisine.”

“Delicious,” I put in. “Very rich.”

“And he has not developed that fine sense of mingling pleasure with business. That is for more…experienced palates like our own.”

“Indeed. But where are my manners? Have a seat, gentlemen. Antony! Bring for the young fellow a small
gelato.
Sometimes chilling the stomach can aid in digestion. Now, Mr. Barker, I am so glad you accepted my invitation. May I ask at this moment whether you are living up to your name?”

“I always live up to my name. Would you expect otherwise?”

“Naturally not. Would you be so kind as to place your weapon here on the extra chair, out of sight under this napkin?”

“I will not. Do you think me so naive as to hand you my pistol when there are four guns in this room able to be pointed at my head within three seconds?”

“Four?” I said, involuntarily. “I thought you said three.”

“There is a scattergun under the front desk. Mr. Gigliotti, I promise you that I will not wave my pistol about and frighten the patrons of your excellent establishment unless I am standing in an absolute hail of bullets.”

“Fair enough, Mr. Barker. May we get past the preliminaries? I understand from your letter, and I must say that Machiavelli himself could not have written a more subtle missive, that this little fellow here met with a mishap in a hansom cab yesterday, and that a witness tied the crime to one of my associates. A particular associate, in fact. You questioned whether the Italian community has some sort of grudge against the Jews and I will answer truthfully. We do. They come in and offer at a lower cost many of the services we provide. They are taking our work, our livelihood, and our housing. They are like locusts: unstoppable! But let me anticipate your next question. Do we, does the Italian community and any group that claims to protect it have any designs to harm the Jews? No, I don’t believe so. Sooner or later we shall have to make an example, as one swats a puppy with a rolled-up newspaper, to teach them what is what, but the Jews are quick. They’ll catch on.”

“So,” Barker said, “the Camorra has no interests in Aldgate.”

Gigliotti’s eyes grew big and the knuckles of his hand that held the wineglass were suddenly white.

“I don’t know where you got that term, Mr. Barker, but I suggest you never use it in my presence again. I don’t care how big a fish you are, there are bigger ones than you.”

Barker smiled. “I like to swim with the big fish.”

“A swim with the fishes in the Thames can be arranged within the hour!”

The men standing guard suddenly grew tense, and I feared there would be gunplay, but Barker gave a sudden shrug.

“Not necessary, sir. I think we understand one another. Forgive my…poor choice of words. I am so often among the rough element of my trade that I sometimes lose my tact.”

“Apology accepted.” The tension, or most of it, eased out of the room. “So, to the best of—”

There was a loud bang at the back of the room, which made everyone jump, and the fellow by the staircase reached inside his jacket. In the back, the other guard’s chair had fallen, and a man was helping him up. Or so it appeared. But when the man was upright, it was obvious he wasn’t conscious, and the individual who set him up again had just come in through the back door.

“Giorgio!” Gigliotti called and waved him toward us. He flashed those wolfish teeth at us again. “That fellow we were talking about, the one you believe shot at your little friend here—I thought you might like to question him yourself.”

Now it was I who stood, ready to fly out of the door or defend myself at a second’s notice. This was the man Racket had seen in the street who had attempted to murder me in cold blood. He was a big, stocky fellow, in a loud checked suit the color of Coleman’s Mustard. His face was ruddy, and he had short, curly black hair and a beard. There was an air of menace and violence about him as he came toward us. He came right up to Barker, ignoring the rest of the room, and put a hand on his lapel. Barker looked up and regarded him.

“I hear you been looking for me,” he said, in a high, reedy voice and, of all things, a Cockney accent.

“Good to see you again, Serafini,” Barker said calmly.

“It ain’t good seein’ your ugly mug, Barker. It ha’n’t been near long enough. Word on the street says you’re trying to frame me for something.” As he spoke, I saw his thumb wander across my employer’s throat and dig into the bundle of arteries and muscle in his neck. I watched the jugular vein stand out prominent and blue.

Barker appeared not to notice for a moment, and then casually, as if swatting at a fly, his hand came up and plucked the hand away. He twisted the hand around, facing its owner, then bore down on the wrist. Serafini frowned at the pain and attempted to turn his hand around again, but Barker had control of it. Serafini stepped back, but the Guv moved in the same direction, anticipating his every move. The Italian had no choice but to fall backward onto the hard tile. Barker stepped by him, still twisting the arm as he went, and rested his boot against the man’s chest. Any move on Serafini’s part would result in a separation at the shoulder joint.

“Give it up, Giorgio,” Gigliotti purred. “You’re hopelessly outclassed. You know Mr. Barker’s reputation. Our friend here is the most scientific and the dirtiest fighter in England.”

Barker didn’t talk but hefted Serafini into a chair so violently that it skittered across the tile a foot. The man glared at my employer, and his face was now as red as a side of beef.

“I haven’t said you did anything,” Barker said. “I’m asking you. Were you paid to shoot at my assistant?”

“I was not,” he said, sullenly.

“And did you shoot at him?”

“No, I didn’t. I’ve never even seen this pipsqueak before. If I’m sent to kill someone, I kills ’em. I’m h’on the job every hour, day and night, until it’s finished. I heard all about the little muck-up. If I’d missed the first shot, d’you think I’d run? No! I’d drop the cabman and come in and finish the job at my leisure. It don’t matter if I’m seen. What can’t be bought off can be warned off.”

“There you have it, gentlemen,” Gigliotti said, “the answer to your question. You are dealers in logic, and the fact that this little fellow still lives is proof that the great Serafini did not try to kill him.”

“Serafini don’t
try
anyfing!” the assassin bellowed.

Barker stood. “Very well, gentlemen, you have convinced me. Mr. Serafini, please forgive any pain I may have caused you, emotionally and physically. I suggest ice for your…er…gun hand. As for you, Mr. Gigliotti, you are, as always, the consummate host. Excellent food, and ah! The fine entertainment. May we use your back door?”

Gigliotti waved a hand toward the rear and bawled over his shoulder, “Antony, forget the
gelato
. Bring Giorgio an espresso and some ice.”

We left the restaurant, and I was never so glad to leave a place in my life. On the way out I noticed that the man at the back door was still unconscious. At least, I hoped he was just unconscious.

The alleyway was a simple and ancient lane with a sewer trough in the middle and two rows of anonymous doors. I sensed danger as soon as we stepped outside, and there was a movement in the shadows. I ducked, and just beside me came the sharp sound of metal against the rough brick of the wall. A long, thin dagger clattered at my feet.

“Round the corner, lad, now!” my employer barked. I didn’t need a second invitation. There was a small figure approaching in the darkness of the alley. Barker made an abrupt movement, a sudden reaching motion toward it, and a shriek echoed through an alleyway, followed by a volley of curses in a high voice. I reached the street and turned into a shop front, awaiting developments. Barker appeared a moment later, as casually as you please, and began stuffing his pipe, scanning both sides of the street.

“Who was that?” I asked.

“Serafini’s wife,” came the unlikely response. “Serafini’s a pussycat compared to the missus. You don’t get one without the other, you know. The woman’s practically feral.”

“What did you do?”

“Oh, I gave her a lesson in kind. One shouldn’t throw knives in public.”

“You threw a knife at her?” I asked, incredulously.

“Of course not,” he answered, with an air of innocence. “I merely gave her a token of my esteem.”

“What is the Camorra?” I asked, remembering the name and its effect upon Gigliotti.

“It, or rather they are one of the crime families of Naples. Like their rivals, the ’Ndrangheta of Calabria and the Mafia of Sicily, they rode into power on the coattails of Garibaldi. They’ve divided the country into personal city-states, concentrating power like the Medicis.”

I shook my head in wonder. “How did you come by the knowledge, if I may ask?”

“It is my duty to know it,” he said, once his pipe was lit. “These societies have very long arms, reaching all the way to London, and anywhere else its immigrants go.”

“So there’s a headquarters of an Italian criminal organization in Westminster, but a stone’s throw from Buckingham Palace? I can hardly believe it.”

“Yes,” Barker said, with one of his rumbling laughs. “London’s a right raucous old lass when you get to know her, isn’t she?”

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