Some Kind of Perfect (Calloway Sisters #4.5) (27 page)

I fasten the best glare I have, and it must do the job because he cracks under the pressure of Lily Investigator Hale.

“Look, I’m the fun fucking uncle who gets to take his niece and nephew on a camping trip. And it just so happens that it gives you and Lo all weekend to fuck each other as much as you want.”

My jaw unhinges. “That’s the reason
this
”—I wave my arms around—“is going on?”

“Why can’t you just fucking say
camping trip
?”

“Ryke,” I snap.

“Part of the reason. There are multiple fucking reasons, Lily.”

I cross my arms the best I can over my large belly. “I don’t want to fuck him.”

“Bullshit.” It’s one of the firmest
bullshits
I’ve heard all year.

I let out a long, heavy sigh. With my hormones raging, it’ll be nice to have more alone time with Lo. I just don’t like the whole orchestration for sex. I constantly have to remind myself that this doesn’t make me a bad mom.

Most people would like alone time, not just sex addicts.
Right?
Right. Right?

I’m confusing myself.

“Thanks then,” I tell him, “for giving us the weekend.”

“I’m the fun fucking uncle. It’s what I’m here for.”

The door blows open. “MOFFY!” Four-year-old Jane shouts as she enters the living room from the foyer. “CAMPING TIME!”

I stand with Ryke.

Jane, in a pale pink coat, searches the room with eager eyes.

“He’s upstairs,” I tell Jane.

“Thank you, Aunt Lily!” She darts up the stairs, falling on the second one, before hastily picking herself up and shouting, “MOFFY!”

As soon as Rose sees us by the couch, she reroutes her course towards Ryke. Connor right behind her.

“Do you have everything?” Rose’s fiery yellow-green eyes wield a million threats.

Ryke returns to his duffel and casually stuffs his hands in his pockets. I resume my leaning-against-couch position.

“Yeah.” He taps his duffel with his boot as proof.

Connor gently sets a pink princess bag down beside the black duffel. He seems calmer than I imagined he’d be. He is sending his only daughter off into the woods with Ryke Meadows, but I’ve never been good at reading through Connor’s poker face.

“Are you concerned?” I ask him. “At all?”

He barely blinks. “That it may rain, yes. There’s a fifty-five percent chance.” Obviously he’s not worried about the possibility of bears or cameramen lurking behind trees.

That’s all you, Lily.

Rose is even subdued. No verbal threats about Ryke’s balls and penis. I cringe.
Stop thinking about his dick.

Rose and Ryke did have a conversation yesterday about the camping trip. He was over her house, fixing a fence, and maybe that’s when he made the promise to bring Jane to a hotel if she freaks out.

Footsteps patter down the staircase. Lo enters the living room with Moffy and Jane on his heels. He dumps Moffy’s Black Widow bag on top of the princess one.

Moffy pushes his little Ray-Ban sunglasses to his head. Then he struggles to zip up his leather jacket. Lately, he dresses more and more like Ryke.

Lo kneels in front of Moffy and tries to help zip him up. Moffy exhales loudly and peeks at Ryke, trying to impress the person he’s emulating. His admiration for his uncle shouldn’t be awkward, but the media fixates on three-way rumors between Lo, me, and Ryke.

His closeness with his uncle might prompt a tabloid to spread worse rumors. Lo said that
Celebrity Crush
tried once. A journalist speculated that Moffy was really Ryke’s son. Connor squashed the article before it went public, thankfully, but when Lo told me, his voice was raw and hoarse.

“It’s not my feelings,” he said, “it’s about
his
. The doubt, Lil—I don’t want him to doubt this.”

I hugged onto Lo, and he gripped onto me.

We reaffirmed that we wouldn’t ruin our relationships because the media sucks. We’d never actively separate Moffy from Ryke. He loves his uncle, and that should
be one of the best things in the universe. It
is.

I just worry. I’m a worrier.
It’s been decided.

And I worry that if Moffy hears about my dirty closet, he’ll find me gross. He’ll find reasons to hate me. I’ll lose a close-knit relationship with my son because he soaked up the media’s perceptions of who I am. I’ve been in the news long enough to have a sense of how I’m perceived. Alone, not beside Loren Hale, it’s not-so-good—but it’s not as bad as it was.

Most popular tweet from the past:
Lily Calloway is a cheating, dirty whore. Ew. Think about how gross her vagina is.

I wish people would stop thinking about my vagina. Because then I think about my son thinking about my vagina, and I want to bury myself in blankets and never come out.

The good news: every tabloid and news outlet stopped calling me a nympho after
We Are Calloway
aired since I explained
why
it’s so hurtful. It’s not like they grew a moral backbone and listened to my plea. Fans go after
Celebrity Crush
with pitchforks if they criticize Daisy’s PTSD and depression, and they attacked the tabloid for using the term nympho so much that they
retracted their article.

Connor said that consumers dictate what industries produce, and I never really understood that until recently.

Lo stands after he finishes zipping up Moffy. “I packed an extra jacket for him if he gets cold.”

“Perfect.” Ryke slings his black duffel on his shoulder and easily picks up the other two bags with each hand.

Moffy already tears away from Lo and rushes to Ryke. “Are we ready? Can we go?” His enthusiasm lights up his face.

“Yeah, let’s head out. Janie?”

Jane pulls on a glittery leopard-print baseball hat. “Au revoir.” She says
goodbye
in French, waves to her mom and dad, and then she leads the parade out the door.

Moffy catches up to Ryke’s side. “I can carry my bag.”

His brows rise. “You can?”

Moffy nods repeatedly.

“Take fucking hold, little guy.” He lets Moffy grip a strap.

I drift towards Lo, who watches our son with crossed arms.
This is hard.
Moffy is only four, but he already asks to do things that older kids do. What if he forgets about us?

Lo hugs me to his side.

I whisper, “I think this is what it must feel like for a Hufflepuff and Slytherin to have a Gryffindor baby.” Why is this making me so emotional? I dab at my eyes. They’re dry.
Still.
“I’m sad.”

“Lil.” Lo squeezes me. “We don’t know what house he’s in. He’s not
eleven
yet.”

This is true.

“And we already agreed. We’d be happy if he ended up in Gryffindor.”

This is even truer.

Moffy and Ryke disappear in the foyer, but I don’t hear the door slam shut.
Something’s wrong.
Just then, Moffy sprints into the living room, eyes on us.

He hugs Lo’s legs. “Bye, Daddy.”

Then mine. “Bye, Mommy.” We barely have time to reciprocate before he races back to the foyer. The door shuts this time.

He didn’t forget about us.

I smile, in a slight daze.

* * *

Connor and Lo left to watch the car depart from the driveway. So I return to my spot on the couch cushion. I think I’m the only reason Rose stayed in the living room.

“This was a bad idea,” I tell my sister as she sits beside me.

“You need this.”

I frown, not liking that
I’m
the first thing that came to mind.

Maybe she sees this because she adds, “Did you see their faces? They’ll have more fun than we would among dirt and bugs.” She pauses. “I’m sure she’ll come home with a million bug bites. Which reminds me…” She whips out her cell and starts typing a note. “
Buy calamine lotion.
”

“I can do
just night sex,” I remind Rose. “Up until the third trimester, I’ve been acing my schedule.”

Rose pulls her hair into a pony. “You practically fuck him with your eyes whenever he’s in the room.”

“I’m that obvious?” I worry.

“Yes.” She procures her lipstick from her purse and uncaps the tube. “There’s no shame in taking personal time. You need it. I need it sometimes. And you should take it, especially since you’ll have to go without sex for a while when Luna arrives.”

The six-week “no sex” after giving birth rule. It’s doomsday all over again, but I succeeded after giving birth to Moffy. If I can do it once, surely I can do it twice.

Rose isn’t showing off much of a baby bump in her blue dress, not too far along. I still can’t believe she’s pregnant again. Then I can. She’s determined to have a girl, and so she conceived right when she was able to have sex following Eliot’s birth.
Six weeks and then pregnant again.

Insane.

Daisy would say that our older sister loves the insanity of it all. Cobalt chaos is a real thing now, and Connor and Rose thrive on every second.

“It’s already penciled in, darling. Lunch tomorrow,” Connor says, walking in the living room with Lo by his side.

“Tell your assistant
tacos
. I’m not your wife. I hate sushi.”

Rose can’t have raw fish when she’s pregnant, but she’ll still eat vegetarian rolls.

“That was an oversight on his part,” Connor says. “I wouldn’t forget your preferences.”

Rose secures her purse on her elbow, rising like a queen. “Time to leave.” She sets a blazing glare on Lo. “Loren, please remind my sister that this situation isn’t just for her benefit.”

I stare at my hands.

“This isn’t just sex, Lil. I want a date night with my wife.”

The rush of guilt escapes my body, freeing me.

As Rose and Connor leave, my sister’s voice fades. “Please tell me you unthawed the chicken fingers before we left.” They feed their children what their children prefer.
Celebrity Crush
still speculates that Rose and Connor serve fancy five-course meals every night.

Not true.

“Who do you think you married?” he asks.

“A narcissist, not a chef.”

I imagine his blinding grin before the door shuts.

The room blankets with silence. I crane my neck over the couch, just to sweep his sharpened features. Every day I wonder when Loren Hale the boy turned into Loren Hale the man, and I wonder how I could’ve resisted him for so long. It’s not just about his jawline and cheekbones. It’s how he sees me. In one look. In one stare.

Worthy.

Beautiful.

You’re far from trash, Lily Hale.

His perception of me defeats all the ugly ones that exist. It reinforces what I believe about myself.

Worthy.

Beautiful.

You’re far from trash, Lily Hale.

I drink in his love. Desire pools between my legs.
His hands on your hips, down your thighs.
Yes.
Yes.
I practically pulse when my thoughts descend to his dick.

All of it.

In me.

Now.

I freeze, really pulsating, and I concentrate on the present. I am
not
up against Loren Hale, as much as I’d love to be. He’s still standing on the other side of the couch.

He stares at me so knowingly that my cheeks immediately flush. I remember what Rose said about me eye-fucking him. Have I been?

I’m so obvious.

Tension builds in the overwhelming silence. My neck aches, so I focus on the blank television and pat my knees. “So…”
Lo’s cock.

I press my thighs together, lost for a second. I shake out my arms to keep from drifting in a fantasy. Why do I feel so awkward? I’ve known him all my life. I wake up next to my best friend. I sleep next to my best friend.

The proof lasts for centuries.

I don’t check him out. I just drum my fingers on my knees. “Date night?”
That’s why this is weird.
When do we ever call them date nights? “What are we going to do?”

“Watch the
Rogue Cut
.” He takes a seat beside me.

Four words catapult my spirits. The
Rogue Cut
is a special edition of
X-Men: Days of Future Past
. We always put off finishing the bonus scenes in favor of shows and new movies, plus cartoons for Moffy.

I angle towards Lo. “OhmyGod, what if there’s a secret Magneto scene?” I scrunch my nose. “Oh no. Do you think they made Rogue and Magneto hook up like in the comics?” I place a hand over my heart. “My shipper heart can’t handle it, Lo. That is
literally
my least favorite pairing. Ever.”