Some Like it Secret (Going Royal Book 4) (16 page)

“You’re worse than Mother—” A knock at the door had Sebastian looking up. “One moment, Armand. Come in.”

Vidal opened the door and Meredith peeked in. She wore a camel-colored pullover sweater—one she’d pilfered from his side of the closet—and slacks. He really did need to take her somewhere warmer so she could wear less—their cabin, for example. “Am I interrupting?” she asked

“Not at all,” Armand answered before he could. “Come in, Miss Blake.”

Her gaze landed on the phone on Sebastian’s desk and then switched to him. The hesitation while she sought his approval rather than just taking his brother at his word gratified him. “Come. He will be cross if you turn him down and he has always been a bit of a poor loser.” The comment had a dual effect. Meredith smiled and Armand snorted.

The bodyguard closed the door as Meredith crossed the room and took his hand. Tugging her down to sit on his lap, he smiled at her, and nodded toward the phone. “Meredith, may I have the honor of introducing you to my brother, Armand? Armand, this is my Meredith. Be polite.” The last two words were delivered as a tight warning.

His brother didn’t miss a beat, though humor infused his words. “It is a pleasure to
meet
you, Meredith, however unusual the venue. You must be a remarkable woman, indeed, as Sebastian has never been so enthusiastic about another.”

“Hello.” She laughed then mouthed,
this is weird
.

“He tells me you’ve been teaching. I hope you’ll forgive an interfering older brother, but I did some research on you.”

Sebastian flexed his grip on her hip, but Meredith raised her eyebrows. “Well, I suppose that’s fair. I did some research on you, as well.”

“Indeed.” For a moment, his brother demonstrated a glimmer of hesitation. “Dare I ask what you discovered?”

“Depends. Did you like what you found out about me?” The corners of her mouth curved. His woman’s intelligence was never a question, but if she felt uncertain addressing a member of his family, it didn’t show.

“Tell me, you don’t gamble at all. Why?”

Sebastian actually started laughing at the question, but Meredith shrugged. “Most games of chance rely on certain percentages and statistics. Cards are pretty boring because the number of possible combinations declines with every play. It’s too easy to know when to bet and when not to. I do like slot machines, though, particularly the animated ones.” She waited a moment and pressed her cheek to his. “Sebastian, however, loves to gamble though I’m afraid I make it pretty boring for him.”

“What about billiards?” Where was Armand going with his line of questioning?

When Meredith cast him a questioning look, Sebastian shook his head and mouthed
I have no idea
.

“Billiards is simple geometry, so not a challenge.” If her reply didn’t throw down a gauntlet, Sebastian didn’t know what would.

His brother didn’t hesitate to scoop it up. “Do me a favor? Keep that bit of information to yourself. When you come to Los Angeles in a few months, I want you to play with Richard.”

Meredith blinked. “In a few months?”

“Time to go, Armand.” Sebastian reached out and hung up on his brother. Rude, but effective. Meredith shifted in his lap and stared at him.

“What did he mean, a few months?”

Damn his brother, he wanted another couple of days before they broached the topic. “Armand and Anna have invited us to Los Angeles to stay at the tower for a few days. He really does want to meet you.”

“All right.” She nodded slowly and began to fidget with the collar of his shirt. “I’d very much like to meet them. I take it they’re very busy if we have to wait a few months?” The uncertainty in her question crushed him.

“Not exactly. In a few days—two, exactly—I have to head to Eastern Europe. I have a series of appearances scheduled. We’d initially intended to do them in a few weeks, but they’ve been moved up.”
How much to tell her?
He wanted honesty between them, but the trip—this particular trip—was fraught with a danger which would only make her worry.

“Because of the attack on the island?” They hadn’t discussed it since their first night onboard. A series of lines tightened the area between her eyes.

“Yes.” He wouldn’t lie about it. “We scheduled appearance in Belaria…”

“Wait a minute. Isn’t Belaria the country that wants your brother to resume the throne?” The looseness left her posture as she straightened to face him. Thankfully, she didn’t try to slide off his lap. The need to touch her was a fierce ache whenever she was near.

“A faction there does, yes, but—” He held up a finger, asking for her patience before continuing. “It is only a faction. The notoriety we’ve gained again over the last few months, with Alyx’s discovery and Armand and Anna’s wedding, has kept us in the forefront of the people’s minds. Other factions in Belaria do not want us to return at all. To be fair, Armand has no intentions of honoring what the Royalists want. So, to curb the rumors, I am going to a series of dinners and personal appearances designed to show our…let’s say our dilettante lifestyle and disinterest in relocating to Belaria permanently.”

“What if those are the same people who’ve been trying to kill you?” She was not a fool. “Going there is insane. You’d be walking into the lion’s den.”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” He needed to downplay the possibilities immediately. “But it’s absolutely no different than any other event I’ve done. We go with the support of our allies in the British, Canadian and Norwegian governments. They are all sending delegations, and I am attending as their guest.”

“
Why
?” Horror stamped across her face. “So they can have an easier time of killing you?”

“No.” He smiled, wanting to ease her fear. “Because they need to know we’re not afraid. No matter what their course of action, our family perseveres. We do not want the throne, we do not want to be figureheads for a royalist party, but we will not bow to suppression, nor will we allow a dictator to use fear to intimidate us.”

“Then I’m going with you.”

“Absolutely not. Right now, the world views you as only a professor, and you have no firm ties to our family. The news of Alyx’s pregnancy is out and the speculation about Anna and Armand will begin in earnest. For the next few months, it’s crucial we present an enduring front and no other disruptions. That means I have to be free to be the face the world sees—”

“That makes no damn sense.” She jerked back to her feet. He followed her as she paced across his office. “I thought we planned to get engaged. Weren’t we discussing an engagement over the last few days? Why can’t I go with you?”

Because it isn’t safe
. He exhaled a breath, knowing bloody well the argument wouldn’t work. “Because I don’t want you there. This isn’t open for negotiation. We’ll be arriving in an Italian port in the morning. Kate will meet you at the dock. She and Gencome will see you back to the States. A security team is already in place. We’ll make an announcement in a few months. Until then, we’ll take all due precautions.”

Mutiny flared in her eyes. “Oh, we will, will we? Made all these plans, have you?”

“Yes, Meredith. I’ve been working on this since before your phone call. The family has to see this through—”

“Wait a minute.” She backed up a step. “So, the trick Meredith into coming to see you, the soul-searching, and the arguments and the difficult truths—you even told me you loved me and wanted to marry me—but the whole time, you’ve known you were going to do this?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry if it disappoints you. By now, you have to know I don’t have the luxury of putting my life on hold for anyone. I’ve delayed everything as long as I could until we could reach some kind of accord between us.” The words came out harsher than he intended, but the censure in her eyes stung. He’d all but bent over backwards for her. Why couldn’t she meet him halfway? “Meredith, I understand this is difficult. If we had a more equitable solution, we would employ it. The best thing for everyone is for you to go home. I will call you every night and, in a few weeks at most, we will be together again. When we are free to announce it, we never have to be apart again.”

“Just like old times.” There was something brittle in her statement. He stepped toward her and she retreated, one hand held up to ward him off. “I get it. I need to go home. You’ve decided and you’ve made all the arrangements. Do me a favor? Why don’t you have your secretary send me a calendar so I know when I’m allowed to care again? You know, since you’ve made all the decisions already. I certainly wouldn’t want to mess up your plans.”

She whirled and stomped out.

“Meredith,” he called, exasperated.
Dammit.
He wanted her safe. Why was she being so unreasonable? Claude slid to the side so he could see her halted in the passageway.

Turning sharply, she faced him. “I’m sorry, didn’t you plan to excuse me? I thought you wanted me to go home.”

“That is not what I said.”

“No, what you said is you don’t want me there. What you said is you made all these plans and arrangements. I’m not a chess piece for you to move at your whim. We’re either together or we’re not. Apparently, we’re not because the man I marry doesn’t make decisions
for
me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Your Highness? I apparently have a plane to catch, so I’m going to pack.” Then she was gone, striding away with Gencome in attendance.

Sebastian wanted to hit something, and he looked at Vidal. “Not a word.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”

In their stateroom, Meredith stared at the clothes in the closet and realized she didn’t have her bag. Hell, she didn’t even have her purse. All of it was back on the island, along with her passport, wallet, keys, everything. Perching on the edge of the bed, she drummed her fingers restlessly against her leg and then bounced up to walk again.

How could he just make unilateral decision? Risk his life? Did he expect her to simply nod her head? Pacing back and forth, she glared at the door and then dragged her fingers through her hair. Her emotions waxed and waned between fury at his highhandedness and terror at the idea of him putting himself out there.

From one end of the room to the other she went. It made her so mad she wanted to scream or throw something. Spinning around, she stalked to the door and opened it. Claude glanced at her, and she gave him a tight smile. “I’m going to the medical bay. Are you planning on stopping me?”

The Frenchman raised his eyebrows. “No, ma’am. My orders are only to keep you safe.”

“Excellent.” She closed the door behind her and headed down the passageway. She found Terry half-asleep, face gray with fatigue, but looking better than he did the first day she’d visited him. The nurse stepped out when Meredith took her place next to the bed and Claude waited outside the door to give her a tacit amount of privacy.

The wounded man opened his eyes and focused on her. He started to try and sit up and she scowled. “Stay put.” What was wrong with men? Did they really think they were invincible? “I just wanted to come and check on you.”

“You’re upset.” He studied her with a small frown.

“I’ll get over it.” As much as it pained her to admit it, she probably would. What choice did she have? If she wanted Bastian, she would have accept him as he was.

“You don’t sound terribly happy about the fact.” Terry shifted again. A thick swath of bandages coated his shoulder and stretched across his chest. The bullets, she’d been told, tore through his shoulder and broke his clavicle. It could have been a lot worse, even though it looked less than pleasant at the moment.

Her gut churned. Just a few months before, Bastian was in this room with only his bodyguards and the doctor who treated him. She’d been thousands of miles away and then, like now, Bastian hadn’t wanted her there. A headache pulsed behind her eye.

Pushing aside the lingering fear, she leaned forward and put her hand on Terry’s. “Are we friends?”

“After a fashion. What’s wrong?”

“If I ask you something, can you promise me confidence? I mean, you told me once I could say anything to you and no matter what I said, you wouldn’t share. That’s kind of like being a friend, right? Because, right now, I could use a friend.” She really hoped she knew what she was doing, but she was so confused.
Is there a right decision?

“Meredith, yes, I’m your friend, but it’s secondary to being your bodyguard. In either capacity, I wouldn’t break your trust. What’s wrong?” Despite sounding weak, Terry gave her a firm look. “Tell me.”

She opened her mouth then closed it again. The words she wanted to vent wouldn’t be easily said, and it felt like a betrayal to confide in Terry. Though he’d calmed since he’d asked her if she was sleeping with him, her fondness for the bodyguard made Sebastian uncomfortable. Rather than complaining, she summoned a smile. “It’s nothing, really. I’m leaving tomorrow to go home. I don’t think you’re well enough to travel with me.”

Terry frowned. “Do you have someone going with you?”

“Yes. Sebastian brought in a new bodyguard for me.”

“Claude Gencome. He’s a good enough man and he came to see me a couple of days ago to ask about your schedule.”

A couple of days
…
Of course, he did
. Meredith bit back another sigh. Sebastian planned it all along. “Well, I want you to concentrate on getting better. I’m going to finish packing. Call me when you’re able to come home? I’ll make you a cake or something.” The last sounded lame, but he’d been hurt while looking after her.

He nodded slowly, but despite his weakened state, his gaze remained sharp. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“No.” But that was all she planned to share on the subject. “However, I’ll figure it out. I have to.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she straightened. “Rest. Get better. I’ll see you later.” And then she was on the move again, with Gencome following.

Detouring again, she headed straight for the kitchen. She couldn’t leave the yacht in the middle of another disagreement with Sebastian. No, she didn’t like what he was planning and, yes, she’d strenuously objected to being dictated to, but walking away mad wasn’t the solution either. Philippe proved amenable to her request and promised to have the dinner set up exactly to her specifications.

Back in the stateroom, she took a shower and after, she dried her hair and returned to the closet to pilfer one of Sebastian’s shirts. Maybe she could pack a few to take with her. She’d just finished buttoning it when a knock sounded. Snagging a robe, she pulled it on and answered the door. It wasn’t the porter with the meal she’d ordered, but Gencome.

“This came for you, ma’am.” He handed her a note and the sound of rotors echoed from overhead. Nodding to him, she withdrew into the room and unfolded the slip of paper.

Meredith,

I don’t want to fight with you. I know you’re upset, and I wish I could say the magical words to ease your concern. Unfortunately, I simply don’t have them. We’ve been forced to escalate the timetable again and, in this, I have no flexibility. I’m leaving for Belaria tonight. Gencome will escort you from the ship tomorrow in Italy. Kate will have your things, including your passport. I will call you as soon as I can.

All my love,

Sebastian

She stared at the note and, even as the content sank in, she realized the sound of the rotors retreated. He’d left.

Just like that, he was gone. Pacing slowly across the room, she sat down on the edge of the bed. She’d crumpled the note in her hand and she unfolded it carefully and reread it. He didn’t want to fight with her, so he’d simply left. He promised to call her, but she didn’t have her cell phone anymore.

How could he simply leave?

Because I would have objected…and I walked out angry again.
Maybe he’d done the right thing. She wanted the man so much it hurt, but God help her, she didn’t know if she wanted his life.

By the time she boarded the plane in Ravello, Meredith was a bundle of nerves. As expected, Kate Braddock waited for her onboard with all of her papers. Gencome proved to be a capable companion, but the Frenchman said very little and his watchfulness only increased her tension. She’d received no phone call from Sebastian, but maybe he was still en route in Belaria. It wasn’t as though he’d told her how he planned to travel or mentioned his expected arrival time.

It made her sick to her stomach with worry, and she was quiet when she settled into the seat across from Kate. After buckling in, she stared out the window. Had it been merely a week since she’d sat in the same seat? Her entire world shifted in the space of seven days.

All around her, staff prepared the private plane for takeoff and she sighed.

“You look tired,” Kate said into the quiet, reminding Meredith of her presence. Where on the first flight Terry sat next to her, Gencome chose another set of seats closer to the main door which allowed her a modicum of privacy.

“Then I look how I feel.” She tried for a smile, but gave up when even her poor attempt seemed more trouble than it was worth. “Thank you for bringing my things.”

“No problem.” The other woman settled back and crossed one leg over the other. “It gets easier.”

“What does?”

“The lifestyle of being royal and under siege.” A faint smile curved the other woman’s lips, but Meredith couldn’t tell if she was serious or not based on her dry tone.

“I thought you were engaged to an attorney.” Meredith wasn’t sure if the same rules applied.

“I am and he spends a lot of time with the family.” When she didn’t offer further details, Meredith assumed she was done. The jets outside began to power up and the plane began to taxi forward. “But the key to surviving all the nonsense is to focus on what’s important.”

Digging her fingers into the armrests, Meredith tried to ignore the churning in her gut as the plane began to hurtle down the runway. “You’re being subtle on purpose and I appreciate the effort, but my heart isn’t in this particular game at the moment.”

“I’m not playing a game. Being royal kind of sucks. Don’t get me wrong, it has perks, too. It’s definitely a trade-off.” Kate shrugged. “Of course, I don’t understand you and Sebastian.”

“What do you mean?” She blew out a breath and studied her companion, but Kate’s expression bordered on neutral.

“It means exactly what I said. I don’t understand you. The two of you were in a relationship for five years. One day, you decided it was over and pretty much gave up. When you told him it’s over, he moved heaven and earth to get you both in the same place. I get it didn’t go as well as you might have hoped and bullets are not a romantic enhancement, but I was under the impression you two worked things out. Instead, when I talked to him, he sounded dead inside. Now, you look like someone kicked your dog.”

The plane leveled and Meredith’s stomach lodged somewhere near her feet. “He left without saying goodbye after we fought because he’d made decisions without including me.” She disliked everything about the situation.

Kate nodded as if her answer made perfect sense. “Okay.”

Her simple response gave Meredith pause. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. At least it explains why you look like someone kicked your dog.” A light flashed overhead. Kate pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and checked the screen.

“I’m glad I enlightened you.” Fresh irritation rasped her already bad mood.

The other woman didn’t look up from the cell phone. “Don’t snap at me. I didn’t let him do it.”

“I hardly think I did, either. You participated in the charade to get me to the island in the first place, so obviously you know more about the whole situation than I have been advised. Do me a favor? Either fill me in or leave me alone.”

Setting the phone down on her thigh, Kate pinned her with a stare. “You know for someone who is arguably a genius—and yes, I did look at your background check and your record—you’re really dumb.”

Meredith felt her jaw go slack. The statement, delivered in calm assessment, lacked the sting of insult, yet delivered a more than solid whack to her pride.

“Seriously, you see a man for five years, let him set all the terms and you know he’s been raised to be in charge. He lives in a world where decisions come down like they are at the right hand of God, yet you’re shocked when he doesn’t involve you?” Kate’s brows inched upwards. “Word to the wise? You want to be involved, you involve yourself.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Meredith spread her hands and leaned forward.

“If it were easy, it probably wouldn’t be worth it. I like this family. They’re arrogant, and they’re more than a little entitled at times, but they’re good people. So, decide if you want to be with him or not. Decide who you want to be when you’re at his side because, if you don’t, this life will crush you like a bug then you won’t be good for anyone, least of all him.” If the first wasn’t enough, she wasn’t finished. “He wants to protect you more than he does his own life. He was the target on the island, yet he covered
you
. He keeps the press out of your life and very focused on him, but when you stood up to him, what happened?”

Who the hell was this woman to judge?
Meredith’s spine stiffened and she lifted her chin. “He tricked me into meeting him, a brilliant move on his part.” One she could applaud for tackling game theory when her response was the most uncertain variable he faced and he’d done it. His actions were beautifully romantic. “I love him. I have decided where I want to be and maybe I won’t be any good at it, but I assure you, I can learn anything and I will learn how to do this. This trip he’s on? It’s dangerous, but he refused to let me go with him.”

“Men. Brilliantly possessive, incredibly protective, and wildly hardheaded. And you let him leave?”

“I could hardly stop him.” What did Kate want her to do?

“All right, I’ll grant you that. Let me ask you this, what are you doing on this plane?”

“I’m flying home.”

“Why?”

“Because—”Meredith stopped. Because Sebastian made the arrangements and told her she was going home. Because Sebastian wanted her somewhere safe and far away from him while he risked his life. Because—

“And now she’s thinking again.” Kate picked up her phone.

Every decision he’d made with regard to their relationship was driven by the need to protect her and…
to help me achieve my dreams. Isn’t that what he said? I wanted to be a tenured professor. I wanted to be published. I wanted to write my own ticket for the types of problems I wanted to solve…and I have all of those things.
Her achievements came at a price—being excluded from Sebastian’s life, at least the public side of it.