Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep. (18 page)

Donna sighed as Alicia checked her mascara through rear view mirror, again, which really wasn’t terribly conducive to the careful driving of their newly acquired rust bucket.

‘Alicia, do you mind?’ Donna tugged the mirror back. ‘One needs one’s mirror in order to see what’s behind —’

‘Donna, watch out in front!’ Alicia slapped her hands over her eyes.

‘Oh, my
God
!’ Donna slammed on the brakes as a feral streak flashed past. She gripped the wheel hard, then scrunched her eyes closed as the car skidded into a ninety- degree turn, before screeching to a clunking halt.

‘I don’t believe it.’ Alicia peered through her fingers. ‘Matt’s car has a homing device.’

‘
I
don’t believe it.’ Sure she must be jinxed for life, Donna uttered a silent prayer and took several deep breaths.

‘Sorry, hon,’ Alicia said in a little voice.

‘It’s all right. My fault, I should have been looking.’ Donna tried to pull herself together, before an articulated lorry came along — or a freight train. Shakily, she reached for the ignition, turned the engine over, and… nothing.

‘You mean the cat should have been looking.’ Alicia heaved herself out of the passenger side. ‘I thought black cats were supposed to be lucky anyway,’ she said, walking around front, as Donna climbed out of the driver’s side.

‘Not if you run over them, Alicia,’ Donna pointed out.

‘Something’s probably jarred loose. A wire or a plug or…’ Alicia heaved up the bonnet. ‘OhmiGod! The engine’s dropped out!’

Donna laughed and headed for the tail-end of the VW. ‘It’s in the back, Alicia.’

‘Well, how on earth did it get there?’ Alicia furrowed her brow, dropped the bonnet and walked around to join her.

‘I think we might need a man that can,’ Donna observed after two minutes staring clueless at the engine.

****

‘It could have been worse,’ Donna suggested optimistically as they waited for the AA, bottoms perched on the bonnet and Alicia smiling at passing traffic. Donna would have been mortified if they’d actually hit the poor cat.

‘A lot worse,’ Alicia observed, sliding neatly off the bonnet. ‘The man that can.’ She nodded towards the AA van as it pulled up behind the VW, from which climbed a reasonably presentable dish. ‘And I tell you what,
he
could, anytime.’

‘Alicia!’ Donna stared after her, shocked, as Alicia did her Cameron hair-flick to perfection and sashayed towards him.

‘Oh, am I glad to see
you.
’ Alicia smiled seductively and batted her lashes. ‘I’m Alicia,’ she said, offering her hand.

And I’ve obviously ceased to exist
. Donna tried not to be too miffed as Alicia continued to bat, while he beamed.

‘We’re having a spot of trouble.’ Alicia slid her hand from his, eventually, and turned back towards the VW, an eye-twanging wiggle to her walk. ‘Our engine seems to be in the wrong place.’

‘Er…’ The guy dragged his eyes away from her bottom, to glance bemusedly at Donna.

Ten minutes later, Donna bobbed invisibly behind them as Michael — apparently — and Alicia peered into the engine compartment practically cheek-to-cheek.

Don’t mind me, she thought. I’ll just take a walk around the block while you two get better acquainted. ‘I didn’t realise you were so interested in engines, Alicia,’ she eventually said pointedly, behind her.

‘I had no idea they could be so fascinating,’ Alicia replied, apparently riveted by his explanation of which thingummy connected to what whatsit and where the dipstick was.

‘Me either.’ Donna curled a lip. Honestly, she’d be holding his spanner for him in a minute. ‘Alicia’s boyfriend’s quite good with engines,’ she said, even more pointedly. ‘He’s away at the moment though, taking his black belt in karate.’

That got smiley Michael’s attention. ‘Shame really,’ Donna went on, gleefully embellishing the facts. Alicia’s current boyfriend was lovely, but actually more Hugh Grant than Jackie Chan. ‘He’s got such big pecs, he could have lifted the engine out and popped it in the right end in a flash, couldn’t he, Alicia?’

Alicia shot her a loaded look as Michael stepped back.

Donna shot her a look back. ‘You’re going out with someone,’ she mouthed, as Michael turned to collect up his tools.

‘I know. I’m just flattering him,’ Alicia whispered back. ‘What?’ She looked at Donna despairingly as he went to try the ignition. ‘It got the car fixed, didn’t it?’

‘He’s an AA man, Alicia. It’s his job to fix the car.’

‘Yes, but because it’s his job doesn’t mean he has to go the extra mile, does it? Did you want to be towed back home on a tow-truck?’

No, Donna conceded, certain Matt wouldn’t be overly impressed if she was.
Yesss
! She whooped quietly as the engine sparked into life.

‘All done,’ said Michael, emerging from the car with a smile.

‘Thank you. I really appreciate your efforts.’ Donna offered him a grateful smile back. Perhaps a little flattery didn’t hurt, after all. He had been extremely conscientious.

‘No problem. We’re here to serve.’ He winked.

Donna glanced behind her, sure he’d be winking at Alicia. Oh? Well, perhaps he’d got a nervous twitch, then?

‘You’d better get that seen to,’ he said, nodding towards Donna’s hand, the back of which, she was surprised to see, was scratched and trickling blood.

‘Oh, it’s nothing.’ She smiled bravely, though it did actually look quite nasty. She must have done it pushing the car to the kerb.

‘Well, you never know, you might have some dirt in it or something,’ he said, plucking her hand up to examine it at close quarters. ‘Hold on, I’ve got a first-aid kit in the van. Can’t leave a damsel in distress, can I?’

Donna laughed. ‘I’m not a damsel.’

‘But she is in distress,’ Alicia called as he headed back to his van.

‘Oh, how’s that, then?’ Michael asked, returning with a plaster and antiseptic cream.

‘She split up with her boyfriend,’ Alicia informed him with a dramatic sigh. ‘Heartbroken, poor girl,’ she went on as Donna stared at her, slack-jawed.

‘That’s a shame.’ Michael looked Donna over interestedly, whilst making a meal of smoothing the plaster over her hand. ‘Tell you what, if you’re at a loose end, why don’t you come out with me?’

‘What?’ Donna blinked at him, amazed at his gall. Only two minutes ago, he’d been getting up close and personal with Alicia under
her
bonnet. Blooming cheek.

‘You’re at a loose end. I’m at a loose end. Why don’t we get our ends together sometime?’ he went on, winking saucily now, and still holding onto Donna’s hand.

‘Pardon?’ Donna stared, flabbergasted.

‘Go on. Go out with him,’ Alicia suggested, so preposterously Donna almost laughed. ‘It can’t hurt. He’s asking ever so nicely, and it might be just the tonic you need.’

Nicely? Donna looked disbelieving from Alicia to her expectant admirer, who was probably wondering why she hadn’t swooned at his soft line of seduction.
Get our ends together
? Honestly.

‘I can’t. I’m, um…’ Donna struggled for something to say now Alicia had announced she was single, ergo obviously up for grabs ‘… on the rebound.’

‘You could rebound off me anytime.’ Michael waggled his eyebrows.

Donna arched hers, bemused. ‘Serious rebound,’ she said meaningfully.

‘Pity,’ he said, raising her injured — and finally plastered — hand to his lips.

Good Lord. Donna gawked at him. What did she do now? Curtsey?

She smiled at him wanly instead.

He smiled back and trailed a thumb over her cheek. ‘Bit of oil,’ he said. ‘Don’t want it going in your pretty green eyes, do we?’

‘No. Thank you,’ Donna mumbled.

‘The pleasure was all mine,’ he assured her. ‘Look, call me if you do fancy going out sometime.’ He ferreted in his breast pocket for pen and pad and scrawled his number.

Donna took the note he offered, smiled courteously as he turned back to his van, then froze.

‘Uh, oh,’ Alicia said. ‘Don’t look now Donna, but…’

But Donna was looking totally aghast — at the patrol car idling on the opposite side of the road. A very familiar driver at the wheel, looking extremely pissed off.

****

Mark tried to ignore Stephanie, smirking and slapping her mouth on her chewing gum as they waited to go through the back office.

‘Wouldn’t let my girlfriend get away with that.’ Stephanie eyed him sideways, obviously intent on getting full mileage out of his embarrassment. ‘Give ‘er a good hiding, I would.’

Mark’s cheek twitched. How much bloody longer did he have to listen to this? He cursed his stupid over-reaction with an audience in the back, who would remind him every second she was here that he’d just witnessed his ‘girlfriend’ getting up close and personal with another bloke.

Telling Stephanie, who delighted in pushing copper’s buttons, that Donna wasn’t his girlfriend, was pointless, particularly as he’d been close to climbing out of the patrol car and pulling the guy in on any conceivable charge he could find.

Finally, they gained access to the back room, where WPC Slater waited, as per protocol for female suspects.

‘Well, well, Stephanie. Can’t keep away can you?’ WPC Slater gave her a knowing look. ‘You into the fresh percolated coffee and haute cuisine, then?’

‘Nah.’ Stephanie smirked. ‘It’s ‘im I’m into, innit? The moody, broody one. I wouldn’t mind ‘im strip-searching me.’

‘You’d be more than he could handle, Steph.’ The WPC gave Mark a sympathetic glance, as he ran a hand wearily over his neck.

‘Go on, go get yourself a coffee,’ she said, obviously aware he was in need of a get out. ‘I’ll sort the paperwork and make sure Steph here gets suitable accommodation.’

Mark smiled, relieved. ‘Cheers, Rachel. I owe you one.’

‘No problem,’ Rachel assured him as he turned away, only to hear Stephanie taunting behind him, ‘Aw, looks like someone’s pee’d on his firework, doesn’t he, poor sod. Never mind, luv,’ her voice trailed after him, as Mark headed back through the security door. ‘She wasn’t all that anyway, if you ask me. You come and see me, if you’re lonely, sweetheart. I’ll kiss it all…’

Mark raked his hand through his hair as the back room door banged mercifully shut.

****

Alicia was driving as they entered the pub car park, Donna’s faculties seeming not to be functioning.

‘What was he doing there?’ she said, again, her shoulders so droopy she wouldn’t be surprised if her knuckles scraped the ground when she walked.

‘Donna, you’ve asked that a thousand times and I still don’t know. It was just bad timing.’

Bad timing? Donna stared forlornly through the windscreen. Some man doing… intimate things to her, and Mark drives by. That wasn’t bad timing. It was horrendous. Misfortune gone mad.

He’d looked so shocked.

Okay, she wasn’t actually
with
Mark, but that didn’t make her feel any better. She didn’t want to hurt him because he’d hurt her. To play the pathetic games Jeremy played. Most of all, she didn’t want Mark thinking she was what he might have thought she was on their first meeting. A sad old slapper.

‘Come on, honey. No point sitting about out here with a face like a wet weekend.’ Alicia gave her shoulders a squeeze. ‘Let’s go on in. They might have stopped serving food now, but they won’t have stopped serving wine.’

She reached for her bag and hopped out of the car. Then peered back in. ‘Come on, chop chop,’ she said, as Donna heaved in shuddery breath. ‘Let’s go and knock ‘em dead.’

Alicia closed the door and clacked towards the pub, as Donna reached for her door. Then clacked back, opened her door and climbed back in. ‘Or not,’ she said, starting the engine.

‘Alicia?’ Donna pulled her door back and looked at her sister askew.

‘Mark was bad timing. That,’ Alicia nodded towards a sparkling new Jaguar cruising across the car park, ‘is a joke.’

‘Drive,’ Donna said, concluding she must have been a terrible person in another life.

‘Trust me, I’m driving.’ Alicia reversed swiftly. ‘Unless…’ She stepped on the brake. ‘Donna, we’ll go if you want to. I’m quite happy to, but…’

‘I do.’

‘… .you are sure you want to do this, aren’t you, hon? Run away, I mean?’

Donna stared at her sister, astounded. ‘What do you mean, run away?’

‘Well, I presume you’re not going to spend the rest of your life avoiding public places because Jeremy might happen to be there? He’d just love that, wouldn’t he?’

Donna furrowed her brow.
Good God
, Alicia was right. What on earth was she doing?! Was she going to avoid the park, too, in case she bumped into him? The supermarket?

Donna watched Jeremy climb out of their/his/her Jag, walk around and open the passenger door for Leticia. Well, wasn’t he keen to please? The only time Donna remembered him opening a door around her was when he was on his way out.

Humph. Up went the shoulders.

‘Do you know, that’s a very good point. Why am
I
…’ Donna poked herself in the chest ‘… running away? I’ve done nothing wrong. God’s gift might think he dictates the rules, but he doesn’t, not anymore. Alicia, mirror.’

‘That’s my girl.’ Alicia grinned, and hoisted the rear-view mirror passenger direction.

One nifty application of mascara later, Donna turned for appraisal. ‘Better?’

Alicia scrutinised her. Fished for a tissue to wipe off a splodge, fluffed up Donna’s fringe, then, ‘Much,’ she said, satisfied.

‘Come on.’ Alicia climbed out.

Donna did likewise.

They swapped supportive smiles over the roof, closed doors together, joined forces at the front of the VW, then marched, arm in arm, into the pub.

‘Remember, play it cool.’ Alicia paused outside the lounge door to give Donna a last tweak. ‘Whatever he does, whatever he says…’ She made
let it go over your head
signs, then gave Donna a nod. ‘Ready?’

‘Ready.’ Donna nodded determinedly back.

‘Right.’ They reached for the double doors together, Alicia sashayed in, while Donna — coolly — peeled herself away from her locked door, stepped around it, then sashayed for all she was worth.