Somebody's Angel (#5 in a Military Romance / BDSM Romance series) (Rescue Me) (63 page)

“I never wanted to break him. I just wanted him to trust me.”

“You didn’t have to ask him, hon. He’d have gone through much worse if need be. He loves you that much.”

Her chin shook, but she gritted her teeth to maintain what little control she had left.

Adam looked away before seeming to come to a decision. He nailed her with his Dom stare. God, she hated when the Doms used such unfair tactics with submissives.

“This isn’t about you, Angelina. He might have gone into it for you initially, but what he achieved in that interrogation scene was nothing short of catharsis. He needed to remember those events his mind had blocked out for decades. His coping strategies—like running from close relationships with women or pushing people away before they could abandon him—served no purpose other than keeping him distant and alone.” Adam glanced away. “Whether the memories conjured up in the dungeon are real or imagined, they’re a part of his psyche now.” He seemed to have regrets about that, but added, “This aftercare phase is crucial to help reintegrate him into the adult Marc
wants
to be.”

“Is he still lost in his memories of childhood?”

“Sometimes, but that’s not unheard of this early into aftercare after such a long scene. He’ll be hit with triggers for days, maybe weeks. They will jump around to different points in his life at random, depending on what reminders or dreams he has.”

“It’s already been two days!”

Adam glared at her. “Keep your voice down and your emotions in check if you want to get past me into that room, girl. Deep breath. Now.”

“I want to be with him. I can help.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Angelina fought the urge to shove him aside and get to Marc, but didn’t need to have Adam kick her out. She took as deep a breath as her anger would allow.

“Better. Listen, it may be several more days before he reintegrates fully. He might not even know who you are some of the time.”

“He’ll know in his heart by the way I plan to love and nurture him.”

“I hope so.” How could she convince Adam Marc needed her? “Right now, he’s going back and forth between the period before he joined the Navy and when his first mother died. He talks to Gino a lot, too.”

Her hand flew to her mouth. Poor Marc. The need to hold him grew even stronger. She pressed her fingertips against her lips to keep them from shaking.
Control yourself
. She needed to prove to Adam she’d be strong for Marc. She took a deep, steadying breath and squared her shoulders.

Adam assessed her a moment before giving a slight nod. “Be strong for him. Remember, you’re his submissive. You hold the power in your dynamic, and it’s up to you how you choose to use that power.”

His words made her even more nervous. “What do you want me to do?” A few minutes ago, she was ready to batter down the door, if need be. Now she was terrified to go in there. She was so out of her element. If she did anything to make it any worse for Marc…

“I think a little TLC might be in order. Just take care of him.”

I can do this.

“Feed him, bathe him, hold him—hell, sing him lullabies, for all I care.”

Despite their separation, she wanted nothing more than to take care of her former Dom. This she could handle without a doubt.

“I’m sorry for charging in here like this, Adam.”

Adam smiled. “Hon, if you hadn’t been in full-on mama bear mode, I wouldn’t be about to let you pass through that doorway. He needs someone like you to fight for him right now. I think he’s tired of seeing me every time he wakes up.”

For the first time since she’d seen Marc in the dungeon, she smiled back as relief washed over her.

I can do this
.

“Now, I’m going to leave you two alone. If you need anything, there’s a baby monitor on the nightstand. Just turn it on and call out. Grant’s sleeping down the hall, and we each have a receiver, so one or both of us will be here before you can blink.”

She nodded and looked toward the closed bedroom door.

“Can I order you some Chinese? It’s Karla’s birthday, and she needs a little aftercare, too, after all this. We’re staying in, though, in case Marc needs us.”

Angelina shook her head. The thought of food turned her stomach. “Go to Karla. I don’t think I helped her stress level any. I was so upset—” Angelina took his arm and indicated for him to head for the stairs. “Hurry. She’s in the kitchen.”

Without another word, Adam rushed down the stairs.

I’m sorry I took my anger out on you, Karla.

She’d make it up to Karla later. Right now, she had to focus her entire being on Marc. Angelina steeled herself and grabbed the door handle. Adam said days of aftercare could be expected, but none of this was normal to Angelina.

Deep breath,
cara. Marc’s voice in her mind reassured her.

“Yes, Sir,” she whispered.

The door creaked as she opened it wider. Her gaze zeroed in on Marc immediately, curled in an almost fetal position on the bed. He had kicked off his covers and wore nothing but a T-shirt and boxer briefs. He hugged one of the pillows in the curve of his body. When she reached the bed, she slipped off her shoes, reached out, and tugged the pillow out of his grip with a bit of a struggle and a moan from him. She slipped between the covers to wrap him in her arms as tightly as she could with his arms and legs separating their bodies.

“I’ve got you, Marc.” She stroked his hair. “I’m going to take care of you.”

She prayed he wouldn’t be so far regressed that he wouldn’t remember her.

Marc’s body remained rigid for a long time until he placed his hand on her shoulder and slowly pushed her away.

Oh, no, Marc. You aren’t going to reject me again!

Once she was flat on her back and could go no farther, though, he moved closer to her and laid his head on her chest, wrapping his arm over her waist as he uncurled his legs. His hair smelled sour from stale sweat, but nothing mattered except feeling his weight on her, his arm holding her in his embrace—even if he didn’t know who she was. Some of her anxiety dissipated.

“Shhhh, I’ll protect you.”

* * *

“My Mama’s dead. You still have yours.”

Marco shook his head at Gino’s words. He didn’t understand. Maybe Gino didn’t think Marco deserved to call her Mama anymore after what he’d done. All his fault. If Marco had gotten her the glass of water, he could have saved her.

But Mama had upset him. He’d run away to hide from her, but his lair wasn’t comforting when he was alone. Cold, dark, cramped.

Trapped.

He couldn’t breathe.

“You have to come out now, Marco.”

Leaving the lair was even scarier than hiding there. He shook his head even harder. Seeing Mama again scared him even more. He couldn’t look at her without feeling shame.

“Give me your hand, Marco.”

Wait. That wasn’t Gino. How had Zia Natalia found his hideout? “Leave me alone.”

“Gino is in the kitchen with the ladies from the church. You need to be strong for him.”

Marco loved his brother. If Gino needed him…

He reached out to accept her hand.

“You know I will never let anything happen to you two, don’t you?”

Marco didn’t know anything anymore. His world had turned crazy.

“Would you like to come live with me?”

Zia Natalia only had a tiny apartment. “Where would we sleep?”

She laughed a little bit. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make a good home for you both. Don’t you worry.”

A few moments later, they walked into the kitchen, and Marco was overwhelmed by the grownups he barely knew all fussing over the table and counters filled with food as Mrs. Milanesi directed new arrivals as to where to put their dishes. He looked at her swollen ankle, still propped up on a chair, and guilt at causing her injury made him want to run and hide again.

He didn’t see Gino anywhere.

Zia Natalia gripped his hand harder, and he looked up to see what had upset her. She seemed scared. When he followed her gaze, he saw Papa. Where had Papa been all this time? He had left them a long time ago. If he’d been here, could he have saved Mama? He laughed with one of the pretty ladies from church. Why wasn’t he sad about Mama dying like everyone else was?

“Shhhh, I’ll protect you.”

Mamma?

He recognized her voice and turned toward the hallway. He walked into the bedroom where she lay sleeping. Not dead. Gino had lied. Why would he do that? Marco crawled onto the bed and laid his head on her chest. He felt her heart beating against his cheek. Her hand stroked his hair. He felt safe again for the first time since Mama had taken to the bed and Papa had left them.

At last, Marco escaped in sleep, feeling safe at last.

A soft, cool hand touched his neck, waking him.

“Why is it you Doms think you can control everything?” she whispered.

Angelina? She’d come back to him?

“When are you going to see you’re human, just like the rest of us?”

Marc raised his head from her chest and stared into her eyes. “I don’t know that I ever controlled anything, pet. Maybe that’s what scares me the most about letting you in.”

The sadness in her eyes made him wish it could be otherwise, but even more frightening was the thought of letting her into his heart, only to lose her. Like Mama. Could he do that?

Too exhausted to hold up his head any longer, he rested it once more on her chest and hugged her tighter.

He slept.

* * *

“Gino, get the fuck out of here!”

Sometime in the middle of the night, Angelina had to duck when Marc’s fist sailed toward her face as he thrashed in his sleep.

“Marc, wake up! You’re dreaming!”

Doctor McKenzie had checked him over earlier and proclaimed Marc to be doing remarkably well. He’d advised her to watch for depression, though, warning that triggers would continue to bombard him for days. She didn’t want to have to call him back here this late if one of them got hurt. Besides, it was one thing hearing him talking in a little boy’s voice to his Aunt Natalia and Gino earlier, but whatever was unfolding in his head now was from an older Marc. Man, was he pissed!

“She’s mine, you bastard!”

Melissa again? Good God, she didn’t want to share any part of Marc fighting over the Queen Bitch of the Universe, even in a dream.

“Marc, you’re dreaming. Wake up. Now!”

“Stay out of this, Melissa.”

Whoa! Careful who you call Melissa, if you know what’s good for you.

She grabbed his shoulder to try and wake him. His arm sailed out, impacting her side and sending her flying off the bed. She quickly realized she’d hurt nothing but her ego. Her brothers had taught her to anticipate a punch like that, making her embarrassed she hadn’t reacted faster. But they’d also shown her how to fall with minimal damage. She stood up and watched as he flailed his arms and legs in some silent battle with Gino.

Remembering the setup of this bedroom, she went to the closet and pulled out a package of thick rope. Hemp, a little scratchy, but she needed to subdue him before he hurt someone, namely her. Remembering the way she’d hogtied Allen Martin with the technique she’d learned in Marc’s playroom and some techniques Luke had taught her since, she had Marc flipped onto his stomach and roped into a hogtie in under thirty seconds. He fought against the restraints, but in the absence of a toy bag with cuffs and other restraints, this was the best she could do.

“You bastard! You fucked my girl! I never want to see you again!”

Seriously? All this drama for a woman like Melissa? Now he was pissing her off, though she knew this was a much younger Marc rehashing something that happened long before he’d met her.

Trying to emulate Melissa’s accent, she said, “Marco, darling, calm down.” His struggles stilled for a moment before he raged and fought the air around him again.

“You have everything. Why did you have to take her, too?” His body was bathed in sweat at his exertions.

Oh, Marc. She so didn’t deserve either of you.

She used some of the inflections Melissa had used in her voice. “Marco, you’re too wild-spirited. I need someone stable like Gino who can support me. But I’ve enjoyed being with you these past…” Angelina had no idea if they’d dated months or years, so she let her words fade away. Her heart told her Gino loved his little brother. He’d merely taken one for Team Marco when it came to Bitch Melissa.

A knock at the door drew her attention away from Marc. She made sure he’d stopped struggling before she left him for a moment. Before she reached the door, it opened and Adam stepped in. His gaze settled immediately on Marc’s hogtied form on the bed, and his brows lifted before he turned his attention to her. She’d been yelling at Adam yesterday for mistreating Marc, and now she’d subdued and incapacitated him herself.

He remained silent a long moment, and then he smiled. “You seem to have everything under control.”

“Um, he got a little rough and—”

“Don’t apologize. I came up to check on you more than him. He’s still having some pretty violent dreams?”

Angelina fought the urge to rub her left breast and side where Marc’s fist had impacted with her and sent her sprawling earlier, so she gave a nod instead. “I have four brothers.”

“I haven’t forgotten how you took care of yourself on the mountain last fall.” She would have thought the trauma of his subsequent cougar attack would have wiped away Adam’s memories. He reached out and unknowingly patted her sore arm. She winced and pulled away. His gaze narrowed. “You’re hurt. Let me see.”

She shook her head and took a step back. “It’s nothing. He’s given me worse bruises when we’ve played.”

Or during a nightmare.

She grinned, hoping to lighten the moment. No way was she removing her sweater to reveal to Adam the bruises he’d left.