Somebody's Someone (30 page)

He looked at me over them glasses, like I just stole something, and kept right on readin’ the papers he was holdin’.

“I see here that you have a birthday in a couple of days. You’ll be thirteen, is that right?”

I was quiet. It was like half of me knew he was tellin’ the truth and the other half was fightin’ to have him shut up.

“I guess so,” was all I said, hunchin’ my shoulders. I didn’t even r’member tellin’ the police people ’bout all that. Maybe that was ’cause of the information they had on me b’fore. It didn’t matter to me, though; I never did take to birthdays. And I’d never had a party that I wanted to recall. ’Cept maybe the one time that Ruby showed up to Big Mama’s outta nowhere for my birthday party—I cain’t r’member the year. I can see it as if it was happening right now.

I’d told a few of the kids from my Sunday school class and some more from my regular school ’bout my party and that they was invited. I don’t know how Ruby found out, but she did and she came. I had prayed and wished for her to come, and for once she did. When I seen her pull up, I went running to her car, and the first thing I wanted to know was how long she was gonna be stayin’ so I could leave with her. “How long you stayin’, can I go with you when you leave?” I asked in one breath. She said, “Hush up, chile, and give yo’ mama some sugar.” I took that to mean yes, and after I kissed her, I went and packed a brown paper bag. That whole day I forgot ’bout my party and the people who came to it. I hid behind trees, spyin’ on Ruby, keepin’ my eye on her in case she tried to leave wit’out me. At one point, after she sat down to play cards with the other grown folks, I jumped into the small boxin’ ring my “cousins” made, and put on gloves and started punchin’ the air. Since the card table Ruby was sittin’ at was right next to the ring, I figured she’d watch me, and if she seen how good I was, she’d wanna take me home with her. At one point I believe I saw her look up and laugh at me. The rest of the time during my party, I didn’t do nothing else but keep my eye on my mama. As the day got shorter, and the dark was roundin’ the bend, I went and put my bag in her car. I tried to stay ’wake as long as I could so I could keep a eye on Ruby, but somewhere in it all, I fell off to sleep.

Well, the grown folks say some peoples wasn’t good with good-byes, and my mama must’ve been one of those people, ’cause she sho’ did leave without me, bag and all. I guess I should’ve got used to gettin’ left, but I never did. I always believed my mama was meaning to do right.

Mr. Porter pushed a button and talked into the phone. He told whoever was on the other end that he was a-bringin’ one down. I followed him as he got up and motioned me to come along. We walked down a hall that was all done up with windows, from the top of the ceiling to the floor. I counted: for every four windows was a door like the ones we had seen in gym classes. They had big metal handles that pushed open from the insides.

Once we came through the long hall, Mr. Porter pointed back in the direction we had come and told me that was where the boys lived, to the left, and that the girls was to the right, closed off by two big ole orange doors. On the one side of the windows was the parking lot and driveway I had just come in, and on the other side was the biggest backyard I had ever seen in my life. I could hardly believe my eyes. I seen kids of a lot of different sizes and colors outside. They was swingin’ off monkey bars and playin’ tetherball. I even saw a table with a black girl and white boy sittin’ real close to one another. The girl had her arm restin’ on the boy’s shoulder, and she was talkin’ to his ear. And there was grown folks of all colors, who must’ve been watchin’ the kids. Mr. Porter showed me through a door and asked me to sit down while he went to get a staff member. He must’ve gone outside, ’cause I heard kids yellin’ and laughin’ and callin’ his name.

I sat down and again thought back to that birthday party many years ago that Ruby had came to, and I put my mind on the li’l white boy who was there. He was from my school class and was the first one to show up. He came, holdin’ a small present, making me think he really liked me. His name was David, and I’d invited him to my party ’cause I wanted to ask him to be my boyfriend. As soon as he got to my house, with his gift in tow, I grabbed David’s hand and took him out back to the old silver Airstream trailer that Big Mama had at the back of her property, where she kept visitors right along with her government food supply. Once we was inside and I closed the door, I asked David if he would be mine, like the li’l sayin’ on the heart-shaped valentine candy.

For a minute David was starin’ at me like he just been playin’ with the Ouija board game and seen a ghost. Then he cocked his head to the side and said, “Girls ain’t supposed to ask boys to be their boyfriends.” After that he threw the wrapped jacks and ball he’d bought straight at me and run out the trailer.

That Monday in school, our teacher pulled me behind the flip-over chalkboard and said that it wasn’t right for li’l black girls to ask nice white boys to go out with them. The teacher smiled and told me that David’s mama wanted her to separate us so that he wouldn’t be disturbed by me.

Seeing that he was ugly any ole way, I just dropped it. After all, I was tryin’ to be nice and help him get a girlfriend.

I looked up and saw a lady standing in front of me. She was light brown with dark hair. Her small eyes turned up at the corners, and they was shaped almost like they was closed when she smiled at me.

“Hi. Regina, is it?” she asked. “Welcome to the shelter.”

I smiled back a li’l bit and said hi. I watched closely as she moved ’bout the room, closin’ and openin’ doors and drawers with keys that was holdin’ on to the belt loops on the pants she was wearin’. As I watched her, kids came running through the hallway, calling out, “Miss Rubie! Miss Rubie!” At first I thought my mind was playin’ tricks on me. I wanted to know how could it be so, that somebody here had the same name as my mama? Was that possible? Other people started coming in, and there was screaming and hollering going on all over the place. I heard Miss Rubie’s name called out again and again. And I watched to see who was gonna answer.

“You guys need to mellow out! Can’t you see that I’m with a new intake!”

There she was right before me. Miss Rubie. Somebody here, all the way in California, have the same name as my mama. I let myself believe that since Ruby couldn’t be with me, the Lord must’ve sent someone with my mama’s name to look after me. I thought that was kinda nice, even though I didn’t like Ruby so much anymore. But maybe this is where I was meant to be after all.

“I know somebody named Ruby too,” I told the woman while she shut the door to the room we was sittin’ in. “That’s my mama’s name.” She answered that her first name was Jocelyn and her last name was Rubie. I asked her how come she had two first names. She just smiled and told me it was the name her parents gave her. I liked her. She talked to me nice, like I was important or something. I learned that she was from a place called the “Fill-a-peens,” had never been married, and that her last name, Rubie, had been with her family for as long as they was all born. Listenin’ to her just made me think on my own name and wonder why come it had to be so different for me.

Through the glass windows that went round the room I saw eyes starin’ at me. The real small kids had to hold on to the windowsills and peek in. From the looks of how they eyes was all stretched into they foreheads, I figured they had to be standin’ on tippy-toes. Miss Rubie shooed ’em away from the window and started asking me a bunch of questions like did I have anybody to call, a place to go on weekends. My eyes must’ve had ’nough, b’cause all on they own they just broke down. Miss Rubie had to give me a piece of toilet paper to wipe my face dry.

“Come on, Regina. I’ll show you to your room. I think you’ve probably had enough for today.”

I got up slow and followed Miss Rubie to a room where all I saw was beds. There was ’bout ten in the room, but only five was made, and now mine was gonna make six. I had a small cot, not too different from the one that was at the jailhouse. But, unlike the jailhouse, here there was other kids with me. At the foot of my bed was a pile of sheets and blankets.

Miss Rubie helped me make my bed and didn’t go on asking me a whole bunch of questions. She seemed to tell that I wasn’t able to talk no more. After we was through, Miss Rubie showed me where to turn the light off and left the room. Right before she was gone, she turned round and told me, “If you need anything, sweetie, just let me know.”

I smiled, and pulled my belly tight as I nodded real fast. Please don’t let me cry again, Lord. I wanted her to just go b’fore everything inside me fell out onto the floor.

I sat on the edge of the bed and felt the air squeeze out the plastic mattress pad. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I was sleeping on a bed for kids that went wet on themselves at night. I scooted back onto the middle of the bed. Then, using my big toes on both feet, I peeled my Converse shoes off, one at a time, and listened to ’em hit the floor. I didn’t even take my clothes off; I just leant back until my eyes got heavy. All these kids round made me r’member Big Mama’s. For a minute I thought ’bout what all them was doing. But I couldn’t stay thinkin’ on ’em too long ’cause my eyes wanted to close. The last thing I thought on was how Big Mama’d left me on that bus all by myself and how I ain’t never heard from her since. Then I stopped thinking, and fell off to sleep.

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE RULES

“GOOD MORNING
, pumpkin. Rise and shine.” A voice spoke to me as someone pulled the cord that belonged to the blinds, raising them high into the window frame and making the room and everything in it come to life. B’fore I could rub the night from the corners of my eyes, I could see the brightness of day through my closed lids.

I sat up in the small bed as my naked toes landed on the floor. My socks must have come off in bed during the night. Pulling my hands from my eyes, where they was rubbing away the sleep, I tucked ’em under my legs and stared as this big-hipped stranger swayed round the room, waking up each girl as she opened another blind. In all my days, nobody had ever woke me up by coming into the room all happy and carrying on. The most I can remember is somebody, usually Big Mama or Lula Mae, telling me the first time round, “Get yo’ rump up now and don’t make me tell you twice!” as they slammed things all through the house and stomped holes in the floor on they way to the kitchen. And if I needed to be reminded, the covers that was keeping me all warm and sleepy would be ripped off b’fore I had time to take my next breath. Yeah, this place was strange, with its happy people. As I woke up more, I seen that there was other girls in the same room with me, and they was of all different kinds and ages. And all the covers was matching, so nobody got more than the next. I was still havin’ a time r’membering the day b’fore. I just sat there and let my mind chase itself through the fields of my mem’ry. I watched as those hips led “Miss Pumpkin” through the room.

“My name is Regina,” I said, letting the words roll out my mouth like a dare. There was so much other fussin’ going on from the other girls being woked up I didn’t think she heard me. I started to repeat myself, but was cut off by the sound of her voice.

“Why of course I know that, sunshine,” the white lady called back over her shoulder at me as she gently grabbed a girl’s big toe and shook it from side to side real fast. The girl wanted to sleep more, so she dragged the dingy light blue blanket that was covering her body over her head, trying to block out the sun and “Miss Happy Trails.” I watched her grab somebody else’s foot and shake it softly. As I listened closer, she was calling each girl “pumpkin” as she passed their way. Secretly, I was a li’l sad that she wasn’t saying them silly names just for me.

“What’s your name?” I asked her, seeing that she knew more about me than I knew of her, and we ain’t never met till now.

“My name is Ms. Claire Kennedy,” she told me as she made her way over to me and crouched down to look dead into my eyes. Hers was light brown, with specks of gold. She placed her hands on my kneecaps to steady herself, and the heat that came from her touch turned into ice as my whole body froze on the spot. “Welcome to the shelter,” she said. Her smile was the widest I had seen yet. And she was so close that I could not only feel her breath touch my face every few times, but I could smell the food she must have just ate before coming to our room. It smelled like a bowl of Cream of Wheat with brown sugar and Pet evaporated milk. I loved Cream of Wheat.

Ms. Claire Kennedy kept standing right in front of my face, and I felt everything in my body go hard and stiff. No stranger had ever been that close to me without wanting something from me. But this time I wasn’t afraid like the other times. I felt like I knew her niceness b’fore, a long time ago, b’fore I was ever scared. I reminded myself that it didn’t matter how nice this Miss Claire Kennedy was. They all started out that way just to trick me into thinking they really liked me. But in the end, they all disappeared or sent me away.

I turned my face and stared at the ceiling. I could feel the wetness welling up behind my eyes. Ms. Claire Kennedy moved away from me and walked outta the room, her backside switching and twitching as she quickly disappeared. Shake it, but don’t break it, took yo’ mama nine months to make it, I thought as I turned to watch the other girls get up and start dressing. There was six of us sleeping in the same room, and I didn’t wanna know nary a one of ’em.

Suddenly Miss Claire Kennedy came trottin’ back. “I need you to come with me, please,” she said, pointin’ at me. “Don’t worry about changing your clothes. What you are wearing will do just fine.” I looked down and seen that I had slept in my jeans and shirt. I stood up and left the room behind Miss Claire, lettin’ the thin-carpeted floor scratch the bottoms of my feet. She led me into the same room I’d been in the day b’fore, onlythis time there was another woman who looked like she was waitin’ on us.

“Hello, I’m Sandy Mason,” the lady said to me, and took a chair right next to Claire Kennedy. “Welcome to the shelter.”