Authors: Kathryn Shay
Tags: #troubled teens, #teacher series, #high school sports, #teachers and students, #professional conflict, #backlistebooks, #Contemporary Romance
After a while, she came out of the house. “Hi.”
Though the moon was bright, bathing her in a golden glow, he couldn’t see details of her face which was a damn shame. She still wore the pretty lilac shirt that probably made the color of her eyes lighten. Over it, she’d thrown a matching sweater.
“Cella asleep?”
“Yes. Lisa’s a terrific babysitter.” She dropped down into an Adirondack chair next to him. “She wears my daughter out.”
Reaching to the wooden table in front of them, he poured wine for her. “Here you go.” He picked up his own glass.
“Thanks.” She studied him. “You don’t usually drink wine, do you?”
“Sometimes. Mostly, I’m a beer and peanuts kind of guy.”
A sudden sense of nostalgia hit her. “That’s right. Jared used to drink beer with you.”
A long, meaningful silence, then Nick said, “I miss him.”
“I do, too.” Her voice was as hoarse as his.
Another pause, while they both remembered the blond haired guy with a big heart who Nick had really cared about.
“How was your date?”
“Tell me about the game first.”
“That bad, huh?”
“No, as a matter of fact, we had a great time. Ian’s a nice guy.”
“What’d you do?”
“We went to see the new Robert Downey, Jr. movie then had pizza at Mario’s.”
“Come on, share some down and dirty details.”
“Drink your wine, Nick.”
He chuckled, glad for the respite from the sadness over Jared.
“Seriously, tell me about the game.”
For ten minutes, he regaled her with a summary of their play. He thought she’d be bored, but she listened intently. After a pause, he added, “I thought maybe you’d come.”
“I told you I wasn’t.”
He waited a second, thinking about how to proceed. He didn’t want to scare her off, but after this past two weeks, he wasn’t satisfied anymore with the barbs they traded or her cold shoulder to him. Hell, he’d just go for it. “Are you gonna see Lancaster again?”
“We said we might.”
She
waited this time, then looked at him pointedly. “Why?”
“I didn’t know you dated men from school is all.”
“I don’t as a rule.”
“You making exceptions now, darlin’? Cuz I reckon I’d like to get in line.”
“Why on earth is that southern accent so strong tonight?”
“Jared joked it came out when I was trying to impress the ladies.”
“Well, it’s just me here.”
More silence. “Maybe that’s what I’m doing, Brie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe I’m tryin’ to impress
you
.” He reached across to cover her delicate hand where it rested on the chair arm. When she said nothing—and didn’t pull away—he asked, “Would that be so bad?”
Now the pause was stifling. Finally, she said, “I don’t know, Nick.”
“You feel it too, don’t you?”
“The change in…us? Yes, I do. But I don’t understand it. We don’t even like each other.”
“You don’t like me even a smidgen?”
“Dear Lord, stop with the down home talk.”
“Okay, let’s do it this way. Tell me one thing you like about me.”
A huff. “I like how concerned you are about Matt.”
“Hmm.”
She said, “Your turn,” and it made him smile into the semi-darkness.
“I like how you’re so excited about the Dynamics of Citizenship projects.” He cleared his throat. “Keep goin’.”
“I think you’re sensitive but you don’t show that side too much.”
“A big jock like me? Hardly. Here’s another for you. I think you’re beautiful.”
“No fair. That doesn’t count.”
“Hey, I’m a guy.” He shrugged. “But, okay, I like the kind of mother you are. Cella’s a terrific kid. I see you doing a lot with her.”
“Do you ever want kids, Nick?”
He swallowed hard. Said nothing.
“Nick?”
Nothing.
“Did I hit a nerve?”
“You might say that.”
She waited before she asked, “Why did Mary Kay leave you? Jared never told me.”
“I asked him not to.” He didn’t explain right away. Finally, he found the courage to answer. “She didn’t leave me, Brie. I kicked her out.”
“What happened?”
He wondered if he could tell this story again. He only shared it twice, with his mother and Jared. “She was pregnant with my babies. Two of them. And she had an abortion.”
“Oh, my God, Nick. I’m so sorry. Can you tell me why?”
“I guess. It was a long time ago.” Still, he rose and went to stand by the railing to ward off some of the sadness that lingered even after all these years. The lake whooshed and he wished it could engulf him, wash away his pain. Facing Brie, he braced his hands on the wood behind him. “Mary Kay had an amniocentesis because her brother had a birth defect. She wasn’t sure she even wanted kids. One of the babies…one had Down’s syndrome.”
“Only one? What are the chances of that?”
“Actually, it’s more rare for both twins to have the extra gene. The other, the girl, was fine. Mary Kay aborted her, too.”
“Oh, Nick.”
“I wanted them both so bad, Brie. People live happy lives with Down’s kids. But because of her brother, Mary Kay refused to go through her adult life the way she grew up.”
“I’m so sorry, Nick.”
Staring down, he shook his head. He wasn’t watching her but he felt her come toward him. When she reached the railing, he looked up and in the moonlight saw the tears on her face. He wiped them away. “Don’t cry for me. As I said, it was long ago.”
“And still raw. I can tell.”
They stared at each other. The moment stretched out, as if something important was going to happen.
Then she stepped into his arms.
o0o
He took, plain and simple. But he was the kind of man that would. He claimed her mouth. And a purely primitive, purely female response blossomed inside of Brie. Widening his stance, he slid his hands to the small of her back and drew her to him until she was pressed against his groin. Oh, God, that felt good, too, after so long. Her body softened and made the slow lazy slide into desire that she hadn’t realized she’d missed so much.
He groaned when he felt her surrender, her total acquiescence to him.
As if he’d been given permission, he kicked their contact up a notch. His hands grasped her hips intimately as his tongue prodded her mouth open and explored her. His taste was so male, she locked her arms around his neck, melded her torso with his and moaned.
Against her lips he murmured, “Darlin’, you’re killin’ me.”
Instead of sobering her, his words made her braver. She eased back and drew his hands to her chest. “Touch me, Nick.”
“Oh, baby.” Gently, as if he was testing his strength, his ability to control himself, he cupped her breasts. She sighed, long, loud and heavily. “That feels sinful,” she murmured.
Emboldened, he grasped the top buttons of her blouse and eased them open. Went lower. She didn’t know how he did it so patiently, as she was desperate to have his hands on her bare skin.
Patience fled when he unsnapped the front clasp of her bra and she spilled into his palms. “Oh. Fuck. Oh. God.” Callused from sports, his fingers squeezed a nipple. After sensitizing it, he rubbed his palm against her and she startled. “Easy. Hmm, you feel so good, Gabrielle. So, so good.”
More moments of ecstasy. Increased intimacy as he teased the other breast.
Then he raised his hands to her shoulders, kissed her forehead and cuddled her to him. His chin rested on her head. Both their hearts beat a sexy tattoo.
She knew it was time to stop. They were outside, on her deck and Cella slept in the house. What would have happened otherwise?
“Damn!” he said in a gravelly voice. “Lousy timing.”
She laughed.
They stayed close for a few moments until he pulled back. Just as gently as he’d undone her buttons, he did them up. Then he smoothed down her hair, kissed her nose. For such a big man, he could be gentle, too. She wondered if all southern men
tended
to their women like this.
Taking her hand, he led her to double chaise which still had the cushions on it. Nick used to razz Jared about what he and Brie might be doing on the settee at night. Which was nothing more than relax. In many ways, Jared was a private man.
Before he sat, Nick crossed to an airtight tub and took out one of the blankets. “It’s getting’ cool.” He tucked it around her when she dropped down into the chair.
When he took the place next to her, she asked, “Don’t you want some blanket?”
“Are you kidding? I’m on fire.”
They watched the moon gild the lake, listened to the water lap, lost in their own thoughts, she guessed. She nuzzled into his chest and wondered if she’d forever associate the smell of the lake, the sound of the waves, the softness of fleece teasing her nose with being in Nick’s arms.
After a while, he said, “So!”
“Yes, so!”
“That was…unexpected.”
“I know. What do you think happened?” She wasn’t even sure what she wanted him to say.
“Good old fashioned lust.”
“It was wonderful to feel that again.”
“Me, too.”
“What do you mean? You’ve had tons of women at your place in the last ten years.”
“Nothing ever felt like that did, sweetheart.” He slid his arm around her and tucked her in closer. “Not at all like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s feelings and there’s feelings.” He kissed her head. “What I experienced out there by that little railing was different. Stronger. More important.”
“For me, too.”
Silence, then, “Listen, I know what you and Jared had was special and I’d never think I could--”
She put her hand on his lips. “Jared wouldn’t object to what we did—are doing--Nick. He’d celebrate. He loved me. And you.”
“He
adored
you. I never met a man so infatuated by a woman.”
“You’re a sweetie pie to say that right now.” Silence for a while. “So I guess the question is where do we go from here?”
“How ‘bout straight over to my king-sized bed?”
“This is new to me. I don’t want to rush it.”
“I was afraid you were going to say that.”
But she felt the rumble in his chest.
He added, “Let’s give it time, then. See where this goes.”
“No game plan?”
“I don’t think so. But let’s set up a date.”
“How about next Friday? I’ll come to the game.”
“That’s a mighty long time to wait to get my hands on you again.”
“Slow and easy,” she said teasingly. Then shocked herself and him by reaching over and pressing her hand on his groin. “Though some things
are
hard tonight.”
“Witch,” he quipped and took her mouth again.
o0o
“Can’t stop believing, can’t give up.” Matt sang the words he’d written and played the music he’d worked out on his mother’s piano because nobody was home, he’d done the football hero thing and gotten a decent grade on his DOC paper. Now he could be himself.
“Want more, need more, have to get it or I’ll die…” Nah, he thought. He didn’t want death in this one. Or I’ll bust? Fade away? Yeah, that was better. Probably because he wished he could most of the time.
He continued to sing, the clamps in his chest easing with every note. He wanted to write music and perform in public. He wanted to spend his time practicing the piano and not running football plays. Fuck, how had his life turned into this nightmare? He sang more, really belting out his frustration.
Until he heard an angry crash on the keys. “What are you doing?” His father stood next to him, his hands crushing the beloved ivory. His face was beet red.
“Just playing and singing a little, Dad.”
“You’re good. You must have been practicing.”
Oh, God, was his father actually going to let him do to this?
“I have been.”
“When?”
“When you’re not home.”
“So that’s why your grades are bad.”
“I did better--”
“Don’t interrupt me, young man. And let me make this clear yet again. You have two responsibilities in life. To get halfway decent grades and to play well in football. You can’t distract yourself with music.”
Matt pushed back the piano bench and stood. When he faced his father, he saw that the man had been drinking. Smelled it on him. Shit. He was mean anyway, but when he drank, the cruelty went to a whole different level. Hell, what did Matt have to lose? “Look, Dad, I know you miss Mom, and she played this piano so it reminds you of her. But I miss her, too, and playing makes me feel close to her.”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me, Mister. I won’t have music in my house. And you’ll do what I tell you to do.”
He didn’t know what made him say, “What if I don’t? You aren’t home much. You can’t keep me from playing.”
For a second, Matt thought his father was going to hit him. But he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I’m selling the piano.”
The emotional blow was much worse. Matt felt his body cave in on itself. He had to get away so he stepped around the mayor, took the stairs two at a time, flew into his room and flung himself onto his bed.
There, he cried like a baby.
When he had nothing left in him, he calmed himself down by remembering his mom coming to his room after Matt had had a fight with his father. She’d sit on the bed and rub his back.
I love you, honey. Very much. He does, too, he just doesn’t know how to show it.
Matt could practically feel her touch, hear the softly uttered promise in her voice. Though she changed nothing, he always felt better when she was there.
But she was gone forever and he had to face the monster downstairs alone.
Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. His chest hurt. He couldn’t stand the pain. Bolting off the bed, he went to the john, got out a razor blade and whipped off his shirt. His legs weren’t healed enough and he couldn’t use them again. Lifting the blade, he slashed it into to arm. And slashed. And slashed.
Finally, he could breathe.
o0o
Rebecca would be ashamed of him. He banished the thought as soon as it came, braced his hands on the piano, and hung his head. He couldn’t think about her. At all. It killed him inside. So he had to block the memory of her laughing face, beautiful dark eyes and long curly hair. It was why he’d alienated the boy. Matt looked so much like her, had her sensitivity and now, he knew, her talent. The sound of the keys in their house again had cut him to ribbons.