Something to Believe In (The Renegade Saints Book 4) (4 page)

The worst part of it was I liked him, and by that I mean I had a crush on him. He all but ignored my presence on the planet, yet I found myself pining over him. I knew my sister would be worried if she knew, given my history of atrocious choices in men. I thought I’d outgrown my inherent need to chase after inappropriate men, but apparently I was dead wrong.

When he swung the door to his hotel room open, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind he was annoyed I was there. His entire demeanor was hostile.

“Goddammit, where’s Lacey?” he barked, confirming my assumption he wasn’t happy to see me.

“She’s meeting with management. I’ve got your daily brief,” I answered as I held it out to him. I cursed myself silently when I noticed my hand was trembling.

He snatched it out of my hand like it was contaminated. “This is
Lacey’s
job,” he stressed angrily. “Why are
you
doing it?”

I was torn between the desire to skitter away and hide or knee him in the nuts. He acted like I was toxic and it was embarrassing, which meant I could barely string two words together.

“I’m, like, um, uh, from now on… it’s like, my job?” I squeaked.

I wanted a portal to open and suck me out of the hallway. I’d ended a statement with a question, which was bad enough, but even worse, I knew my face was purple with embarrassment. I didn’t need to worry since he focused like a laser on a spot over my head. It seemed setting eyes on me was somehow offensive.

“Then from now on you can just slip it under my door,” he decreed like a giant fucking prick.

My mouth opened, lips forming a perfect O as my eyes went wide. What were we, eight? He was acting like I had cooties. Maybe he really believed I did.

“Lacey says I have to hand it off to you all personally,” I said once I stopped staring at him with my mouth open. “It’s part of my official duties to make sure—”

The hand he used to hold the daily brief waved dismissively. “I’m Lacey’s boss which means I get to make the rules. I don’t want to be disturbed by you,” he said flatly. “You just slide it under the door each day and go on your way.”

Feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes was mortifying. I’d done enough crying in my life, so it didn’t sit well with me. I loved my job, and wanted to keep it, but I was at the end of my rope with him. He treated me like I was a complete idiot and he made it patently obvious he detested me.

“Why do you have to make this so damn difficult?” I questioned angrily. “You’re downright rude to me and there’s no reason for it.”

His head reared back as his eyes went wide. He seemed stunned as he stared at me. For the fraction of a second, I thought he was going to soften. When his jaw clenched and he crossed his arms over his chest, I knew he was shutting down.

“If you can’t handle me then I suggest you quit,” he said snidely. “This is a job, and I expect you to do it professionally. Just slide the daily briefs under my door and be on your way.”

With that, he turned around and went back into his room, closing the door behind him without so much as looking in my direction. I wanted to cry and then bang on his door so I could slap him when he opened it. Although Tyson Allen was easily the most good-looking man I’d ever set eyes on, he also had one of the ugliest personalities I’d ever come across. Personality trumped looks for me every day of the week. I vowed to stay as far away from his miserable ass as humanly possible.

“And everyone else says he’s one of the nicest guys ever?” my sister questioned.

Our FaceTime session was a little blurry, but there was no mistaking the concern on her face.

“Yes! The worst thing is people are noticing how dismissive and standoffish he is to me, and it’s embarrassing,” I admitted.

“Dais, honey, come home. You don’t need to put up with this. Ryder and I always have a place for you.”

I looked away from my phone and tried to keep myself from crying.

“I can’t,” I said forcefully. “This is my big chance, and I can’t let one asshole ruin it for me. I’m not a quitter, Vi.”

“No, you’re not,” she agreed. “But if the choice comes down to taking shit and quitting, then you know what you need to do. If this keeps getting worse…”

“It won’t,” I assured her.

Even as I said it, I knew there was no way I could be certain. Tyson was, for lack of a better descriptive, a dick.

“Mm-hm, sure,” she said. “If he keeps this up and you won’t throw in the towel, Ryder’s going to be flyin’ in for a visit to resolve it one way or the other.”

I didn’t doubt it. My brother-in-law was amazing, and I knew he had my back.

“Don’t stress me out,” I pleaded. “I’m having a hard enough time.”

“Humph.”

It was clear she wanted to insist I quit. Violet took her job as big sister very seriously. She always had, but a few rough years in our lives had strengthened our bond to something stronger than steel. My sister would walk through fire for me, as I would for her.

“All I want you to know is this,” she said finally. “Just because once upon a time you made a bad choice—”

“Violet,” I interrupted in a warning tone. “Don’t go there.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m not trying to make you feel worse. I just love you so much, Daisy. I hate to see you unhappy about anything.”

“I’m not unhappy,” I assured her. “I’m only anxious about Tyson. Everyone else is great. It’s the dream job with one teeny-tiny flaw. Everything has one drawback. In this job it’s him.”

What I didn’t tell my sister was that dealing with him was so much more than a drawback. It was a constant source of anxiety for me and I wasn’t certain I would be able to withstand it for the rest of the tour. My stupid heart wanted something different than the reality, which meant it hurt like hell to have him dislike me the way he did.

“H
ow come you didn’t get us set up for tonight at the Fifties Burger Bar? We love that place.”

I shrugged and avoided looking Flynn in the eye. “Didn’t think of it,” I lied.

“We’ve gone there every time we’ve been in town for almost a decade. Even high as a kite you never once forgot. It’s your favorite burger place,” he pointed out.

“Slipped my mind,” I said dismissively. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but we were in the back of a car together heading to pick up some lingerie for Tessa, so it wasn’t like I could walk off. I was tagging along purely because I didn’t want to hang around the hotel in case I ran into anyone, specifically Daisy Hammond. If I’d known he was going to get up my ass, I’d have taken refuge in my room.

“Kind of like how the create your own pizza place slipped your mind last week?”

It was right about then that I regretted getting into the car with him. I thought I’d been escaping Daisy. Boy was I fucking wrong.

“Yeah,” I said defensively, “like that. I’ve got shit on my mind.”

“Enlighten me,” he said as he turned in his seat, putting his full attention on me. “What’s on your mind that suddenly means things we’ve always done are slipping through it like a sieve?”

“Business,” I said firmly. “This record company stuff is no joke.”

“Didn’t say it was. I just find it interesting how suddenly you’re Mr. Forgetful.”

“Yeah, well—”

“What’s even more interesting,” he continued without letting me finish, “is how I know for a fact you had already booked both things months ago. You didn’t forget, you straight up canceled them but paid for the full nights. We should stop at a lamp store because you’re being shady as fuck.”

I gritted my teeth and tried to bite back my anger at our manager’s assistant. I’d specifically instructed her not to tell anyone I was canceling.

“Dude—”

“Don’t
dude
me, Ty. I’m far from fucking stupid, and I know something is up. You’re a goddamn recluse lately, and it isn’t sitting well. Be straight with me—do we need to get your old sober coach out here? We’re here for you, whatever it takes. There’s no shame in needing help, man.”

“I’m not on drugs,” I said firmly. “I haven’t touched that shit in years, and I don’t plan to ever again.”

“If it’s not drugs, then what is it?”

I closed my eyes, dropped my head back onto the rest, and wished I could erect a privacy screen between us so I could ignore him. I made a mental note to find someone to make one for me. It was definitely a million-dollar idea. The silence stretched and even with my eyes closed, I could feel him staring at me expectantly.

“It’s stupid, not even worth talking about,” I said.

He exhaled a sound of annoyance. “You’re acting weird so fuck yeah it’s worth talking about. What the hell is going on?”

I kept my eyes shut and didn’t look at him. “When I said it wasn’t worth talking about, it was code for
I don’t want to talk about it
.”

“Too fuckin’ bad,” he retorted.

“That’s funny. When you were on the outs with Tessa and having problems, you didn’t want to talk, and you wouldn’t budge. Are you the only one allowed to have privacy these days?”

“Tyson.”

Just my name, nothing more, but in those two syllables, I knew he was getting pissed.

Opening my eyes, I looked over at him. “What?”

“You got a girlfriend I don’t know about?”

“
Fuck no
.”

“Then your argument is invalid and my question stands. What I was dealing with was relationship shit. You just confirmed you don’t have a girl hiding somewhere which means it’s time for you to tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“Can’t explain it,” I said gruffly. I wasn’t joking. I really couldn’t explain it.

“Okay, I guess I’ll take a shot. Does this have anything to do with Daisy? Because ever since she came on the scene you’ve been a fucking ghost.”

I wasn’t thrilled he’d guessed right. I don’t know why I ever expected it to be any other way though considering the length of our friendship and how much time we spent together on the road. My band mates could read me like a fuckin’ book. Gavin had already guessed what I was uptight about but every time he brought it up I dodged like a bitch. He was cool enough to let me, Flynn not so much.

“It’s nothing,” I assured him.

“She rubs you the wrong way?”

I grunted a non-committal noise.

“I think she’s cool as shit as does everyone else, but this is a group thing, and if you can’t stand her then she’s gotta go. I’ll tell Lacey to get her gone. All you ever had to say was—”

Something akin to panic fluttered in my chest. “No! Goddammit,
this
is why I didn’t say anything. This isn’t about her. It’s about me. I don’t need her losing her fuckin’ job because…”

“Because?”

“Just fuckin’ because,” I snapped. “It’s nothing major. I just don’t feel like talking about it.”

I thanked fucking God when we pulled up outside the lingerie store because it meant he’d shut the fuck up. Or so I’d thought.

When we walked into the store, the salesgirl just about hit the fucking floor. I’ll give her major credit for keeping herself together, but there was not one bit of doubt she was a big fan.

“Mr. Rand,” she said breathlessly. “Mr. Allen. What can I help you with?”

“If it’s cool with you I’d just like to browse for a few minutes,” Flynn answered. “When I see what I want, I’ll come up to the register.”