Something Wanton (Mystics & Mayhem) (52 page)

“I almost walked away when I saw the two of you at Amelia’s
the night I brought your clothes.”  His whispered admission, so full of pain, made my heart ache for him. “I was going to leave them in your room, but when I opened the door, I saw you and Tyler talking.  You had your head on his chest and you looked so damn
peaceful
, more peaceful than I’ve ever seen you look.”

I remembered that night, remembered hearing the door open.  Some part of me had known Nathan was on the other side, that’s why I hadn’t gone over to open it.  I had wanted to avoid the very conversation we were having.  I had wanted to remain blissfully blind to the fact that what I had felt for Tyler was more than friendship.

In other words, I had done what I have always done.  I had run from the truth.  And, by doing so, I had done exactly what Skippy had been sure I would never do.  I had toyed with Tyler’s emotions.  I had wrapped him up in my life and held on tight, keeping him with me even when I should have let him go.  And why?  Because I needed him.  I needed him to be there to make it all right. 

I hated myself for that.  And I hated him for letting me do it to him.

“He truly was the better man,” Nathan murmured, staring out the window at nothing.  “That’s why every time Tyler looked at you or touched you, I felt like ripping him to pieces.  It was unreasonable, I knew he couldn’t help it, but I didn’t want him to love you.  The reason for that is that a part of me wondered if you wouldn’t have been better off with him.  He would have taken better care of your heart than I ever have.”

I hated the traitorous little voice in the back of my mind that wondered if he might have been right to wonder.  If I had been fated for Tyler instead of Nathan, Bastian never would have looked at me twice and I wouldn’t have ended up a darkling.  If I hadn’t become a darkling, Grams would have been able to heal me when the hunters shot me and Tyler wouldn’t have been forced to infuse me with angel blood to save my life.  And if that hadn’t happened, he would still be there with me.

On the other hand, if I had fallen in love with Tyler, I would never have found out how strong I could really be.  Because it had been all those other challenges that had finally shown me that strength.  I wouldn’t have met Skippy and done the impossible by becoming his friend.  I wouldn’t have been able to save the witchy vampire world from a psycho who preyed on them at every turn.  I wouldn’t have met Gabriella or Charles and learned to love the ghosts who had proven they were more than willing to protect me.

And I would have missed out on Nathan himself.  I would have missed out on the love in his eyes when he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in creation.  I would have missed that sensation that I was falling into something warm and wonderful every time he touched me.  I would have missed out on becoming breathless every time he walked into a room.  I would have missed him.  Period.

And the adventure that was Nathan Ashley was one I really would have hated to miss.

“I love you, Nathan,” I whispered, looking up to meet his eyes as he turned away from
the window.  “Every single minute of every single hour of every single day, I love you more.  I wouldn’t have been better off with Tyler; I just would have been different.  And, bad hair and weird eyes aside, I kind of like who I am with you.”

“And I love you more,” he murmured.  He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and finally reached my mouth.  “I will always love you more.”

“Oh, really?” I breathed against his lips, my lips turning up in a small smile.  “Prove it.”

He gave it his best shot.  Did he prove it?  Hmmm…

I’ll never tell.

I dashed around the bedroom like a crazy person.  I could sense Grams losing her patience with me from the kitchen down the hall as I threw the pillows off the bed and followed them with the covers.  I’d had it the night before.  I had put it on the bedside table before I went to bed.

So where the hell
was
it?

“Looking for this?” Nathan asked from the doorway.

I whirled around to find him dangling my gold Class of 2013 tassel from one long finger as he grinned at me.  I glared at him and stomped over to snatch it from him, but he held it up out of my reach.  He continued to grin at me even when I started jumping for it.

“All right, hand it over!” I snapped, running out of patience myself.  “
Please
, Nathan!  Grams is starting to turn a very ugly purple color in the kitchen!”

“What’ll you give me for it?” he teased, a wicked glint in his eyes.

Only Nathan could have made the tomato red shirt he was wearing look good.  It wasn’t one of his favorites, but I had told him that, if he loved me, he wouldn’t leave me to suffer alone.  And he hadn’t. 

“I believe you owe me for wearing this
god-awful color,” Nathan continued to tease me, dangling my tassel just above the point my fingers could reach.  “I believe we can come to an arrangement, though.  This tassel for…,” he tapped his chin, pretending to think about it, about the same time I started tapping my foot in impatience.

I had to put a lot of effort into my scowl to keep myself from returning his grin, but I did it.  Instead, I planted my hands on my hips and arched an eyebrow at him.

“What will it take to get you to give me that damned thing so we can get this freak show over with?” I asked, tilting my head to the side to study him.  “I’d offer to pay you, but you cleaned me out playing poker the other night, so I’m broke right now.  Will you take a check?”

“You are so cute when you do that,” he purred, twirling my tassel around his finger lazily.  “And in case you forgot, when we were playing poker we weren’t playing for money.  Now, if you have another one of those sweet little lacy bras, this tassel is
all
yours.”

I laughed, I couldn’t help it.  That was just so Nathan.  He took advantage of my good humor to snag me around the waist and pull me against his chest.  Then, he proceeded to kiss the lip gloss right off me.  By the time he was done with me, I was putty in his arms.

“Your hair looks great with that awful color,” he teased, tugging at a curl that had escaped my cap.  “But I think you forgot something.”

“Hmm?” I murmured, still buzzing from being kissed so thoroughly my toes had curled.

“Your eyes look really nice with it, too,” he whispered, chuckling.

I immediately freaked and tried to bolt for the blue contacts on the sink in the bathroom, but Nathan wouldn’t let go.  My classmates had gotten used to the hair…and the tan…and the unnatural beauty, but I didn’t think it would be a good idea to test their tolerance with shimmering eyes that glowed anytime the light hit them. 
I
wasn’t even used to those yet.

“Oh, come
on
!” Skippy said, rolling his eyes, as he appeared in the doorway behind Nathan with a harassed scowl on his face.  “Shea is counting down to a nuclear disaster in five…four…three…two…”

I smiled at him and wiggled out of Nathan’s arms to run into the bathroom and grab my contacts.  Skippy had come a long way, with a little help from me and Kim,
toward actually sounding like he was a fifteen year old again.  His fashion sense was a lot better, too.  I glanced out the door to see what he was wearing, and smiled when I saw the bright red Ralph Lauren polo shirt and khakis he was wearing.  He had promised to wear red as a favor to me.  If I was going to wear it, so was everyone else.  Even his hair had been gelled to perfection, making him a real little hottie—for a kid.

“There are four mirrors in the car.  You’re going
to have to put your contacts in on the way,” Skippy said, appearing at my elbow suddenly and tugging me out the door.  “Stop dragging your feet, Ember!  Move your ass!  We’re gonna be late!”

Grams was waiting by the door, her foot tapping impatiently, when Skippy dragged me past her at a run.  She didn’t look like she thought much of my sense of humor when I yelled over my shoulder, “Come on, Grams!  We’re gonna be late!”

As it turns out, we were.  I barely made it through the door, Nathan and Grams right behind me, when the graduation march began to play.  Since I was the first person down the aisle—since Lisa Anderson had failed Chem and couldn’t graduate because she was a credit short—that wasn’t good.  Whoever had decided graduates should march in alphabetical order should be shot.  Twice.  And then decapitated for good measure.

“How nice of you to join us, Miss Blaylock!” Ms. Cantrell snapped, bearing down on us like a tornado.  Skippy wasn’t the only one who had gone through a makeover.  Kim had talked Ms. Cantrell into a shopping trip or two, too.  Gone were the baggy suits replaced with form fitting, kind of sexy, replacements.

“You look very nice today, Constance,” Nathan drawled, grinning at her.  “New suit?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Nathan,” she said, giving him one of her narrow-eyed glares.  “Now get
yourselves out front!  Immediately!  We should have started five minutes ago!”

“I guess
everything
didn’t change,” Nathan muttered to Skippy as I hurried to take my place.  “She still has a broomstick stuck up her ass.”

I practically sprinted to the front of the line, passing Blake and Kim.  Kim was the only person in our class who could pull off the horrid red color scheme with any kind of style.  Her cap was set
at a jaunty angle on her new, short, pixie-style hair.  She looked more like a runway model than a high school graduate. 

She laughed when I flew past her, and Blake gave me a wink of approval for ticking Ms. C off on graduation day, of all days.  I made it to the front of the line just as they threw the doors open, then proceeded down the aisle with a little more decorum than I had shown during my mad dash to get there.

We made it through the same tired speeches, and the bad rendition of
I Believe I Can Fly
played by the band.  And finally, it was time to take the walk.  Even though Headmaster Grayson had given specific instructions for everyone to hold their applause until the last student had crossed the stage—like he did every year—the senior class ignored him and cheered loudly for their friends anyway—like
they
did every year.

When I walked across the stage, half the auditorium went nuts.  I accepted my diploma from Headmaster Grayson, smiling at his annoyed expression, and then turned to my fellow seniors and family and friends—many of which were of the undead variety—and bowed.  I thought I saw Blaire roll her eyes at me from the back of the room, but it was hard to tell with her cabana boys going ape-shit crazy around her.  Yeah, I had charmed them, too.

And then it was over.  High school was finished and another chapter of my life was opening its pages to me.  I thought about that as we all had dinner together at our favorite restaurant, then thought about it some more when we dumped the old people and headed for Icon.

What would the next chapter bring for me?  Would it be as terrifying as the last chapter?  Or would things finally go back to normal?  I was still thinking about it when Kim tossed a gold foil-wrapped box across the seat to me.

“I forgot to give you that,” she said as Nathan pulled into a parking spot a block away from Icon.  When she saw how confused I was—we had exchanged gifts the night before—she just shrugged.  “Don’t ask, because I don’t know.  I found it this morning on my doorstep.”

“Maybe it’s yours then,” I told her, tossing the box back to her.  She just handed it back, rolling her eyes.

“It’s got
your
name on it, twit,” she said with a laugh. 

I arched an eyebrow at her and then turned the box over in my hands.  It was the shape of a bracelet box, only longer and wider.  There wasn’t any indication as to who it was from on the box.  There was only my name, scrawled in neat, oddly familiar, handwriting on a tiny gift card.  I smiled when I saw there was a heart drawn beneath it.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Kim asked, sounding disappointed, when I just tucked it between my seat and the console without a second thought.

“Later,” I told her, reaching for Nathan’s hand where it rested on the console between us.  “I’m sure it’s just another amulet or something from one of the witches.  I’ve been getting them all month.  You know how confused some of the older ones get.  They probably left it on your doorstep by accident, thinking it was mine.”

Icon was rocking, packed with most of the senior class, and we had a great time.  I pushed the memory of the last time I’d been there aside as we walked in the door, trying not to think about Tyler and the way he had looked—and looked at me—that night.  It was getting easier.  I could think about him without crying my eyes out, at least.  But I knew the pain of losing him the way I had would never really go away.

I had been attempting to do what everyone kept telling me to do and get on with my life, but Tyler had been dancing across my mind all day.  I chalked it up to graduation, the sentimentality of it all.
But it was time to look forward, not back.  It was time for new adventures, new dreams.  Tyler would want that.  He would want me to enjoy the gift he had given me.  Lark had been right about that much if he hadn’t been right about anything else.

We got home late, happy and exhausted.  Nathan went to sleep almost immediately, but I laid there for hours, his arms holding me close, unable to shut my mind down.  Finally, I got up and started wandering through the house.

I surfed the Net for a while, reading statuses on Facebook about how amazing it was that we had all survived high school.  Well, I was still walking and talking, but I wasn’t sure that I had
survived
.  I checked out the latest videos on YouTube, read the news on Yahoo, and finally gave it up as a lost cause when I still wasn’t tired.

Closing my laptop and tossing it aside, I decided what I really needed was a drink.  I didn’t need my
Nexus shots as often anymore, which was a relief.  Thanks to my redemption in the eyes of the Powers That Be, I wasn’t such an out of control life-sucking quasi-demon anymore.  Still, like every other being on the planet, I had my weaknesses, too.  And the one that totally drove me bonkers was the fact that I was always thirsty.  Like,
always.

Like Tyler,
I thought, remembering him chugging down coffee like it was going to disappear tomorrow. 
Black
coffee.  Or juice.  Or soda.  Or bottled water.  Or whatever I was drinking.  Or whatever anyone
else
was drinking. 

Telling myself I had to stop thinking about him, that I had to let him go, I walked into the kitchen with a lump forming in my throat and tears in my eyes.  I was headed for the refrige
rator when a flash of gold on the counter caught my attention.

“Now, how did that get there?” I wondered aloud
as I walked over and picked up the gold gift-wrapped box.  The last time I’d seen it, I was tucking it away in the car.  I hadn’t even thought about it since Kim tossed it to me. 

Assuming Nathan had brought it in for me when we got home, I perched on one of the stools at the counter and carefully peeled the paper back.  Beneath it was a long, wooden box with runes carved all over it that were so old I would never be able to decipher them.

It was really beautiful, but not that unusual.  Witches had been sending me odd stuff since February.  Trust me, I had gotten plenty of weirder gifts.  My least favorite had been a shrunken head that the little old woman who’d given it to me swore would protect me.  It had taken everything I had not to shudder in revulsion when she insisted on slipping it over my head personally.  So, yeah, a pretty box wasn’t all that impressive to me after that.

Until I opened it, that is.

The second I carefully pried the lid off, I felt my heart squeeze tight.  I plucked the long antique gold feather from the velvet lining with shaking fingers.  It gleamed in the moonlight coming through the window behind me, and I didn’t fight the tears that filled my eyes as I ran my fingers over it.  It was soft and silky, and I could feel a strange kind of energy surrounding it.

There was a folded piece of paper tucked into the box beneath the feather, and my fingers trembled as I plucked it free and carefully unfolded it.  Tears welled up in my eyes when I read the
two simple words written below a detailed sketch of a daisy. 

Be happy.
 

A familiar warm, tingly sensation squeezed my heart, and I smiled through my tears as I brought the feather to my lips, sliding it back and forth.  Then, like it would disintegrate or disappear if I wasn’t very careful with it, I put it back inside the box
along with the note and replaced the lid.  I didn’t know where it had come from or who had sent it, but I was grateful to them.