Something Wild (19 page)

And now they were going grocery shopping. It sounded ridiculously domestic, but he was looking forward to it.

Tucking his shirt into a pair of faded blue jeans, Ryan sighed, ran a hand through his hair, then glanced at himself in the mirror.

You, he thought, had better get control of this situation. Soon. Before it all blows up in your face.

* * *

Ryan pushed the cart, which overflowed with everything from milk and eggs to a variety of frozen foods. "Hey, look. Goetta," Penny said, pointing to the sign on one of the refrigerated bins. "Want some?"

"Goetta?
What is it?"

"Oh," Penny said, "I guess it's one of those regional foods. It's … um, kind of a sausagey, oatmealy sort of thing."

Ryan laughed. "No thanks." Penny had been a huge help to him so far and made this task much more fun than it would have been otherwise, but every now and then she tried to get him to buy something that just wasn't on his personal menu.

She turned to face him from the other end of the stopped cart. "Are you sure? You can do a lot of good stuff with goetta."

"No goetta," he said with a decisive point of his finger. "I mean it. I just don't think I'm a goetta guy." Prior to this, he'd also had to convince her he wasn't a rice-cake or hummus guy.

Before she could protest further, he backed the cart away from her, then swung it down the next aisle. Glass-fronted freezers filled with ice cream spanned its length. "Now, this is more like it," he murmured, studying his choices, then grabbing tubs of French vanilla, cookies-n-cream, and double chocolate.

Penny leaned around to pat his stomach. "I can't believe you maintain this with these kinds of shopping habits."

"I won't be back for a while, remember? This is a stock-up trip."

"Ooh," she said then, stepping past, her focus having shifted to something behind him. "Hot fudge."

Ryan turned to find her examining a shelf of ice-cream condiments, and he witnessed a familiar and all-too alluring look in her eyes before she caught him watching, then lowered her gaze. Considering how well he was beginning to know her in certain ways, he understood exactly what that look meant. He arched one eyebrow and grinned.

"What?" she asked.

But those innocent eyes weren't working on him this time. "You've got a hot fudge fantasy. Don't deny it."

She gasped. "I…" She shook her head helplessly. "How did you…" Then she gave it all up. "Oh, darn it, all right, I do. So sue me."

Ryan smiled in triumph. "And you can't even blame this one on Patti."

Penny's blue eyes went wide. "She
did
buy me those things. I swear it."

He laughed, realizing he loved teasing her way too much, then stepped up close to her in the aisle, which was desolate except for them. "You should quit being so defensive. It just so happens…"

"What?"

She peered up at him as he cast his most suggestive grin. "That I have a hot fudge fantasy, too." Or at least he did now.

He enjoyed seeing the shock on her face melt into something a little more lurid as he reached past her, tossing two jars of the microwavable hot fudge into the cart.

She glanced down at where they lay atop a bunch of canned goods. "But, uh, don't you think that's a lot?"

He shrugged, then dropped a playful kiss on her cheek. "Anything left over can go on the ice cream."

* * *

Back at Ryan's, they filled his refrigerator and pantry with groceries, then Penny showed him how she'd arranged his cabinets. After unloading some glasses, pots and pans, and a few dish towels, the kitchen was quite livable. "See how fast that went with your guidance?" he said. Then he placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. "Thank you for helping me."

After that, they worked in the living room. When Penny had arrived, only basic furniture and the big screen TV had been in place, and a pile of boxes had waited in one corner. Within half an hour, lamps dotted the room, pillows and a throw made the couch cozier, and she had found some candles that added character to the coffee table. Next, she put Ryan to work hooking up his VCR and stereo while she started filling the built-in, mirrored shelves with books and bric-a-brac, including a couple of framed photos she'd unpacked.

One of the photos captured four guys with backpacks and sleeping bags standing in front of an SUV. When she held it up, Ryan explained that he and his college buddies always got together for a hiking trip every fall. They were scattered across the country now, but that was the one time they all got together each year.

The other picture was a family photo, although she didn't call this one to Ryan's attention. In it, the Pierces and their two grown boys stood next to a Christmas tree, Ryan's father spreading his arms around each of his sons. They looked like very nice people, although she had to admit Ryan was right—he stood out in the crowd. He was taller and broader than his father or brother, somehow appeared more rugged and masculine. She couldn't believe he didn't know what an amazing man he was.

She turned to watch him fiddling with wires and cables on the carpet not far away, and thought about his belief that his parents didn't care much about him. As her heart filled with emotion for him, she almost said
I love you,
because she really thought it might be true-it felt that way more and more all the time—and she wanted him to know.

Thank God she realized it was the move of a lunatic before she actually did it.

"What's up?" he asked, catching her look.

"Just wondering how it's coming over there."

He laughed. "I know it seems like a mess right now, but five minutes, and I'll have it up and running."

"What's next?" she asked, done with the shelves.

"You wanna order a pizza or something? I don't know the good places around here yet."

"One LaRosa's pizza, coming up." Penny tossed her empty boxes in a pile next to the wall-spanning window en route to the phone, but the view stopped her progress. Outside, darkness hovered and the sunset glowed magnificently over the river. Streaks of electric pink blazed across the horizon to the west, and tiny dots of light sprinkled the hills below that led down to the Ohio. "Oh, Ryan, come look at this. Is it like this every night from up here?"

He joined her, sliding his arms around her waist from behind. "I don't really know. I'm usually working or having fun with you this time of night," he said, sounding playful. "But it's pretty great, isn't it?" He leaned forward, dropping one delicate kiss on her neck as they took in the spectacular colors, streaks of plum now twining their way through the pink splash of sky.

"So what do you wanna do after we eat pizza?" she whispered up to him.

"Easy," he growled. "Break into the hot fudge and have you for dessert."

* * *

"We're a mess," Penny sighed as she kissed him.

"I know." He reached to wipe off the remnants of chocolate that had somehow ended up on her cheek.

"I'm exhausted." She reached to kiss him once more.

"You
wore me out, too."

They lay in Ryan's bed on sheets he'd promised were old, and thank goodness, because they'd never be the same again. Penny didn't think hot fudge would ever
taste
quite the same to her again, either.

"I should shower," she suggested.

"Afraid you'll have to wash your hair while you're at it." He ran his fingers down a long lock now caked with partially dried fudge.

Suddenly amused almost beyond her comprehension, Penny rolled over on her back and started laughing.

He smiled down on her in the lamplight. "What?"

"I can't believe we just did that." It had been so freeing, so sensual, and so incredibly easy.

"Oh, come on," he teased. "Considering some of the other stuff we've done over the past week, what's a little hot fudge?"

She smiled up at him, then used her thumbnail to chip away a tiny blot of dry chocolate from his chin. "It was fun, wasn't it?"

"The hot fudge? Or everything else, too?"

"The hot fudge," she said. The warm sensation of having it dribbled over her and then watching him lick it off had been nothing less than exquisite. "But everything else, too."

"Starting a week ago tonight," he said, and Penny shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe they'd gotten together only a week ago! But then again, given
how
they'd gotten together, maybe what'd followed had been somehow inevitable, meant to be. "It's been one hell of a week," he added, nuzzling her ear, then softly biting her neck.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

I love you.

The words had struck her in an undeniable way as she and Ryan had made love and, suddenly, not a shred of doubt remained. When she'd heard his deep moan and felt his body collapsing against her, she'd realized how profoundly she cherished bringing him pleasure and she'd known, just known beyond question, that it was indeed love.

She couldn't tell him, of course, since nothing had really changed between them except for what rested in her heart. But it was real and solid and surrounded Penny like a warm cocoon she could never escape from, could never
want
to escape from.

She wasn't afraid anymore, or nervous about anything they did together. She had moaned and laughed and relished every moment of living out her hot fudge fantasy with Ryan. Not one scrap of guilt or "goodgirlness" had snuck in. She'd simply been having decadent fun with the man she loved, nothing more, nothing less. It was as if realizing she truly loved him had cleared her head in other ways, too, freed her from the chains she'd locked herself in somewhere along the way.

And best of all, none of this was startling. She knew they hadn't known each other very long, yet it seemed as if they had, as if all the feelings had been growing in her from the moment they'd met. Now love was blooming inside her, and she just wanted to bask in it, like a spring flower in the sun.

A few minutes later, she watched Ryan drag himself up from the chocolate-stained sheets to make his way to the shower, both of them laughing again at what a mess they were. He soon returned from the bathroom with a large navy blue bath sheet hooked at his waist. "Shower's free if you're recovered enough," he said with a wink.

"I'm getting there," she sighed happily.

"While you're getting cleaned up," he said with a laugh, "I'll get these sheets off the bed and into the washing machine before I end up tracking chocolate footprints through the condo."

Soon after, they lay back down together, both wrapped in navy towels, on Ryan's leather couch, laughing still more because he hadn't had any luck locating clean sheets. Penny wanted to spend all night in his arms, and she hardly cared if it was in a bed or on the couch or on the floor.

"I guess Martin never returned your calls or you'd have mentioned it," he said as she settled into his arms.

"No, he didn't, and I don't understand why. But I suppose that doesn't matter now."

"Why not?"

"He'll be home tomorrow," she said. "So maybe I was meant to tell him face-to-face."

As his body tensed beneath her, she gazed down at him in the darkened room, lit only by the glow from the city below gleaming through the large window. She couldn't make out his expression, but she sensed his surprise at the reminder and her chest tightened.

Just then, the phone rang across the room. Ryan made no move to get it, so they both lay there, listening as the answering machine picked up.

"Hello, Ryan, it's your mother. I'm calling with some good news about Dan. I ran into Ellen Winston at the beauty parlor and she let out a secret—the alumni association at the high school is planning to give your brother a lifetime achievement award this fall! He'll be the youngest recipient in the school's history! Be sure not to breathe a word, though, since it'll be a surprise at the alumni banquet. Call me and I'll fill you in on the details. Bye." The answering machine went quiet before clicking off.

Penny heard Ryan's sigh beneath her and they started talking at the same time.

"Ryan, they—"

"I hate to—"

They both stopped.

"You
first," she said.

She heard him take a deep breath. The room seemed too quiet. She waited, but he didn't reply, although his heartbeat sped up beneath her palm.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"I was just thinking," he began, "that maybe we should, uh … take a little break from each other."

A huge knot formed in her stomach.

"Since Martin's coming back tomorrow," he went on. "Just until you get a chance to talk to him and we see how it goes. You know?"

Penny's breath felt shaky and she inhaled, then exhaled, trying to smooth it out. This is a fling. Just a fling. At least that's what it is to him. She had to remember that and deal with it. She had to forget the love pounding in her chest and seeping through her pores.

"Yeah,"
she finally said. "That would probably make sense." As much as she hated it, it
did
make sense because Martin could show up at her place, or see them out somewhere together, and neither she nor Ryan wanted him to find out what'd been going on. It had been easy to push aside thoughts of Martin while he was away, but she didn't want to hurt him, had never wanted to hurt him. And she
did
need time to deal with how she was going to say no to Martin's proposal. So it made perfect sense.