Sometimes Moments (39 page)

She let her heart beat twice before she said, “If you ever need me, I will be right here. Maybe, one day, you’ll find your way to me again. I will be here, right where you left me. We don’t have to talk. We could just exchange glances and then you leave, knowing that it’s enough for us. I’ll hope for those stolen glances.”

I’ll hope for forever someday. I’ll hope for forever in our next lives. I’ll ask God for his love in our next lives, too. I’ll ask him for Callum to love me until the very end of existence.

T
he sun lit her bedroom brightly and beautifully, like it were mocking them. Like the sun knew of the end the exact same way it gave the moon the space to glow above the skies. But unlike the sun, they would never have another rise. It was their sunset for good. Her world would soon be consumed by black, no light from the moon to guide the waves to shore and no sun to warm her body. Just black. They had moments left of their time together.

They had both been awake long before the sun had risen but both had stayed quiet, their hands touching and their fingers circling—whatever they could do to make the other know that they weren’t alone just yet.

Each breath Callum made she considered her favourite until he made another. Each heartbeat that thumped against her ear was memorised. With each circle he made, the pattern was engrained into her skin. Each squeeze of her arm was cherished. It was all about memorising, waiting to feel, hear, touch, and breathe the last of them.

Last night was the last time they’d make love. If they were to do so now, it’d make goodbye much harder. Every inch of pleasure, every moan, groan, pant, and whisper of love was sent directly to her heart. They had loved harder than they had before. They had cried more. They had reached euphoria for the last time in each other’s arms. It had been a perfect ending. It had been the perfect last time.

“I’m sorry, Peyton,” he whispered before his chin dipped and he kissed the top of her head.

Her eyes burned as salty tears tried to escape. She wanted to dig her nails into his torso to stop them from running down her face, but to no success. They fell and pooled on his chest.

“It’s okay,” she whispered back, the pain engulfing her chest.

This is my closure.

“I thought I was strong enough to not let this happen between us. I told you I wasn’t cruel, but I’m a liar. I told you that I wouldn’t let you fall in love with me, and I lied to you. I am a liar. I’m sorry, Peyton.”

The sheer agony in his voice had Peyton squeezing her eyes shut. “Don’t be sorry, Callum. I promised that I wouldn’t let you kiss me and I let you. I broke a promise… We’re both liars,” she said and opened her eyes, still feeling the stings.

“Honestly, I’m glad you broke your promise. I’m glad for Mr Lucky. I’m relieved to know you still love me. I’ll be thanking the universe for your forgiveness.”

Peyton sat up and looked down at him. “You earned my forgiveness. You stood by me and chose to support me. You gave me my life back.”

Callum sat straight, wrapped his arms around her, and leant back on the headboard. “Right now, knowing that we’re about to say goodbye… You have given me a reason to hate the universe. To hate everything that gets to breathe. But I can’t be angry with the world because I’ve had the chance to love you all over again.”

His words settled deep within her heart—the same place that held his love and never wanted to let him go. Desire, want, and need flowed through her veins until they reached her chest. Placing her hand on his stomach, Peyton pushed herself away from his arms and swung her leg over him. She then set her free palm on his lower torso and hovered over him, straddling him.

Callum sighed out and rested both his hands on her waist, stopping her from lowering down on him. “Peyton, we said last night would be it.”

She shook her head. “I’m always going to want more than just last night, Callum. I need this with you. I need this one last time. I need to see you in the sunlight, in the pureness of the day. I need you to say goodbye to me this way.”

When his hold on her loosened, she knew that he was submitting to her wants. She ran her hand from his stomach to his chest before finally settling on his shoulders. His eyes were locked on hers as she eased down on him slowly enough to memorise the sharp inhale of breath he made and the way his fingers dug into her. There was something empowering about being on top, controlling their pleasure.

The moment he was completely inside her, Callum groaned before breathing out, “God, Peyton.”

She didn’t move, loving the way he filled her and completed her. She knew it would never be this satisfying or right with another man. Running her fingers up his neck, she cupped his face, ensuring his eyes stayed on hers.

“When you come, can you tell me you love me? Is that possible?” she asked in a nervous voice.

Callum panted and nodded his head. “For you, Peyton, I’d freeze hell over.”

A small smile touched her lips. “So, yes?”

He leant forward and placed his lips on her neck. “God, yes,” he breathed, looking up at her.

That was all it took for her to lift her lips and sink slowly back down on him—not to tease, but to savour the feel. This wasn’t about teasing. It was about making memorable love between them. To say goodbye to their old memories and have this one moment to reflect on where their love was mutually shared and mutually craved.

Again, she raised her hips and slowly immersed herself around him, but this time, his hips bucked and Peyton moaned. She let her head fall into the curve of his neck.

“Again, please,” she begged, wanting him to take control, loving the way he thrust inside her.

He rolled them over so Peyton was on her back. Then she leaned up and kissed the cherry blossoms that tattooed his arm before she wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands around his strong arms.

Her heart stopped the moment he pulled out, and it regained its beats the moment he entered her with a hard, powerful rock of his hips.

“Callum,” she moaned as she arched her back and met his thrust.

Harder.

Slower.

Harder.

Faster.

Her heart beat the same way he made love to her. She felt the tension build, waiting to be explode. And by the way Callum threw back his head and groaned, she knew he was close, too. The way their lovemaking brought him pleasure made her heart swell. No one could make her get so lost in pleasure the way he did. Unique, heartbreakingly beautiful, and hers—just for now.

“Kiss me,” she half-instructed and half-breathed.

Callum’s lips found hers and then his tongue mimicked the movements he made inside of her. She softly cried out as the pleasure built, and her breathing became pants.

“Fuck, Peyton,” Callum murmured into her mouth.

“Harder,” she begged as she moved her hips to meet him.

Her heart continued to thump harder as he sped up his thrusts. Their cries were no longer soft as her nails dug into his tattooed cherry blossoms. This emotional connection between them, knowing it was their last time, was about to throw her over the edge, reach a pleasure she had never known.

“It’s always been you. Never anyone else,” he whispered as he moved even faster.

When Callum propped himself, she could see a line of sweat settle on his forehead. Then his hands were on her waist as he held her tightly. His deep thrust had Peyton fisting the sheets as pleasure overtook her body and her orgasm hit her hard.

He thrust inside her twice before he groaned, looked her in the eye, and said, “I love you, Peyton,” as he came inside her.

Then he collapsed on top of her breasts, and Peyton’s hands were stroking the back of his head.

“Goodbye, Callum,” she whispered.

Callum panted heavily before he managed to say, “Goodbye, my love.”

And once again, I’m here.

Sitting on the same step.

But this time, I know goodbye is imminent.

The double-story brick house she stared at was one she had known all her life, but over four years ago, it’d become a stranger to her. If she could have bulldozed it away, she would have. But unlike the summer he’d broken her heart, they were saying goodbye in winter. A winter’s day where the sun was shining bright, with a cool wind in the air. It was a perfect day to break her heart.

The moment after they’d made love, she’d showered, allowing him the time and space to pack the remainder of his things before he was to leave town. She’d cried in the shower, sitting on the floor as the water fell over her. She’d cried as she walked into her bedroom and saw her unmade bed. She’d cried until the tears had dried up and she’d had enough in her to sit on the step.

When the door opened, the first thing she saw was a suitcase. And then Callum. He closed it behind him and looked over to her. The pain that consumed his face tore her heart wide open. It was like he was conflicted.

His Volvo sounded as his car unlocked. Then he gave her a tight smile before walked to the boot of his car, his back turned to her. Callum didn’t move. After almost a minute of standing there, he lifted the boot, put his suitcase inside, and closed it. Then he turned around and met her eyes.

Callum crossed the road. Each step he took brought goodbye and their end closer. They were moments away from the obliteration of them. She wished he’d take slower strides, but he was at the bottom step within in seconds.

“So, this is it,” Peyton said as she got to her feet.

He nodded. “This is it, Peyton.”

She walked down the steps until she was just in front of him. A sigh left his lips before Callum cupped her face and then stroked her cheeks with the pad of his thumbs.

“I don’t want you to go,” she croaked out. Then she placed her hand on his left arm, turning his arm around to see his tattoo.

“If I could stay, I would,” he said in a tight voice.

Peyton looked down at his wrist. His name was tattooed on her heart. But ink didn’t have to be visible on her skin for her to be reminded. Callum Reid, her heart’s only.

“I’m going to miss you, Callum Reid,” she sobbed.

His arms were around her instantly as he held her close. She wrapped her arms around him, keeping him for just a little longer. Then she cried into his chest, staining the light-grey shirt he was wearing. Her heart burned with her lungs because she wanted the concept of forever. And she wanted him for longer than they had.

“I wish you could have given me the chance to love you for those four years we were apart. I wish you would let me love you for another four years and longer. I wish you’d stay.” She weeped harder. “This is the worst breakup I’ve ever had, and the last one destroyed me.”