Somewhere Between Black and White (12 page)

“Since you brought it up. . . .” His best
Anthony Hopkins wasn’t very good. “I
have
had a yen for your liver, with
some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

She scrunched up her face and laughed.
“Okay, that was downright creepy.”

“Oh God,” he said with apprehension. “Tell
me you’ve seen
Silence of the Lambs
.”

“Uh, yeah. If I hadn’t, I’d be tearing
through that door right about now,” she answered. “And I do believe my Yoda was
better than your Hopkins.”

“Ohhh.” He chuckled. “I beg to differ
with you, beautiful.”

Sophie reached over and touched his face,
silently conveying how sorry she was about Abby. They remained this way for a
few seconds before he pulled her into his arms. They held onto each other for a
long while, his embrace unyielding. Tension filled his body, and she realized
he had been containing his grief after all. She hoped he wasn’t crying. If he
was, she’d be right there with him. She was the biggest sympathy crier ever.

He let her go and rubbed her arms. “Are
you cold? You feel like ice.”

“Maybe a little.”

Sam gathered the throw from the back of
the couch. He was quiet, pensive, as he draped the blanket around her
shoulders. She inched in closer, as close to him as she possibly could, before
trying to kiss away the miserable day. His five o’clock shadow bristled against
her cheek. The scent of his skin enlivened her—she would have buried herself
within his very heart if she could. Welcoming her advances, he eased back into
the sofa, gently pulling her with him. Wishing only to sustain the gaze of
those hazel eyes, her mouth scarcely brushed his, their breath intermingling.

She was tired of forcing herself to
wait. It was time. If things fell apart, they fell apart.

Damn. This could have been perfect, if
only his dog hadn’t just died.

“Sam, I know this is bad timing, but
would it be really out of line for me to want to ravish you right now?”

He grinned boyishly. “Are you kidding?”

“So you’re saying it’s weird.”

“Well, yes. It
is
weird,” he
teased.  “But what I meant was, are you kidding, thinking there would ever be a
time I wouldn’t want you. I want you . . . always.” 

That persistent sense of familiarity
flashed through her, but this time, it was much too fast, too fleeting, for an
image to attach itself. “That was a good answer.”

Sam scooped her up and whisked her away
to the bedroom. When they reached his room, he laid her on the bed and added,
“Besides, I know Abby would approve.”

“I love that you’re such a goof.”

“And
I
. . . .” He paused, as if
debating whether to continue. “Ah, the hell with it. I’m just gonna come out
with it.” He pressed his lips to hers. “I love you.”

She could have squealed like a
schoolgirl, but all that came out was, “Really?”
Seriously? That’s all you
give him in response, you bonehead?

He nodded emphatically. “Really.” He
reached over to turn on the satellite radio, then wiggled his brows at her, an
impish little sparkle in his eyes.

Lordy, can he be any more adorable?

“Well, that makes me very happy. Because
I love you, too. But just a little bit,” she added, squeezing the space between
her finger and thumb.

He slowly unfastened the buttons on her
shirt while an old timer crooned on Pandora. “Then I’ll have to remedy that.
It’s not right that I’m holding only part of your heart, while you’re holding all
of mine.” His palm rested on her chest as he kissed her sweetly. Her heart
drummed wildly beneath his fingers. But she also knew the drill—it was always
like this in the beginning. The rush, the excitement, and she was not about to
let her words run away with her, gushing everything she felt. Even if he was
deserving of the adoration.

She lay in the balmy grass, and he was
there with her. They were young, in their twenties. Underneath her was something
soft, a blanket. It was raining, and they were both naked from the waist up.
There was a trace of her red lipstick on his mouth as his face hovered above
hers. He bent down to kiss her, and the chill of the dog tags that hung from
his neck met her skin. She shivered. Whether it was from the cold metal on her
flesh, the summer rain, or his touch, she wasn’t sure. Were they married? Just
lovers?

“Sam!”

“What?” he asked, startled.

She sat up in bed. “I have to tell you
something. Or ask you something.”

He leaned on one arm, concern in his
face. “Go ahead.”

This was it. She was finally going to
broach this bizarre topic, and she would find out if he was only playing along
that first time they kissed, when she reacted so strangely. What if he really
didn’t see anything at all, but was just making it up so she would believe they
had some sort of unique connection? Or what if when she told him all that she’d
been experiencing, he thought she was some kind of nutcase?

“That night you had me over for dinner,”
she began. “The night we first kissed, you said you saw someplace you hadn’t
been before, but it was familiar.”

“I did.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Right now?” he asked, somewhat
apprehensive.

“Please?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Can you
tell me why it’s so important to you?”

“I definitely will—after you share.”

“O-kay.” He exhaled.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act like
this, Sam. So nervous. Why?”

“Never mind,” he answered. “I think it
was a farm.” He stared upward, recalling the image. “A field . . . a lot of
yellowish grass. I didn’t
see
you.” He paused before meeting her eyes.
“But it felt like you were there.”

She let herself drop back onto the bed,
and again, the inexplicable tears.

Sam placed his hand on her bare stomach.
“What? Tell me, for cryin’ out loud.” He shook his head. “I knew it. It had
nothing to do with anything . . . I’ve been watching you, Sophie. You’ve been
keeping something to yourself. You’ve put all this importance on my answer
about it, and now you think I was playing you.”

Out of nowhere, she started to laugh. He
called it. That was exactly what she had been afraid of, except he had no idea
his answer evoked a response different from the one he perceived.

She sat up and took his hand. “No,” she
said softly. “I want to know, how many times have you seen that place?”

A wave of realization rippled across his
face. “Why? Why do you want to know this?”

“Because I’ve seen that same place you
did. Several times!” For reasons she didn’t understand, he frowned. He must
have thought she was being ridiculous. “Look, Sam, I’ve never been one who’s
especially fascinated by coincidence, or the possibility of former lives, or
any of that. But, damn! I have seen you. And I don’t get why you—Mr. Open-minded,
we’re all one
guy—seem so uneasy about this.”

“I’m not uneasy about it. I’m uneasy
talking
to you about it.”

She was really confused. “But why?”

He raked his hand through his hair and
lay back on the bed, gazing at the ceiling. “You’re going to take it the wrong
way.”

“No, I won’t. Just tell me.”

He turned toward her and sighed. “It’s
because you’re a woman.”

“Wha-a-a-t?” She laughed. “What does
that
mean?”

“It means I don’t have a problem with
the possibility that we’ve known each other before. I don’t
know
that we
have, I’m just sayin’. But, because you’re a woman, and I mean no offense by
this, you’re going to think we’re destined to be together forever because of
these things that you’ve seen.”

Now she was starting to feel hurt. Was
he saying he didn’t care if they stayed together?

“See? You’re already taking offense.” He
sat up, putting his hand on the nape of her neck and pulling her face close to
his. “What I’m trying to say, and not very well, is that I want you to think we
should be together because of the way you feel about me. Not because of some
farm we both saw in a dream.”

With a slight smile, she nodded. “Okay.
I think I get it. Just . . . Can I ask you one more question?”

His fingers caressed her arm. “As long
as you leave your shirt off, yes, you can ask me one more question.”

Giving him a scowl, she pushed him onto
his back. Then she settled on her stomach beside him, propping herself on her
elbows. “That field. Have you seen it more than once?”

“I haven’t. But you say you have?”

She described the various scenarios she
had seen, including the one in the rain.

“I have to say, I like that one the
best,” he said after he heard the details.

“It was by far, my favorite,” she
agreed. “So, it was just the one time for you? That’s it?”

“Just once with the vision.” He rolled
onto his side, preoccupied with other thoughts, his fingertips lightly brushing
over the skin on her back.

“That tickles,” she said with a quiver.

He was being infinitely patient with all
her questions, especially since this whole discussion had interrupted such an
intimate moment. “But,” he continued, “more than once, I’ve had the feeling I
already knew you. You probably don’t remember that night in the convenience
store. Our hands touched when I opened the cooler for you. I felt it then.”

She was speechless for a moment. “Un . .
. freaking . . . believable. It’s like we’re in a movie or something! Don’t you
feel like you’re in a movie?”

He brought his hand to his chin,
exaggerating an air of deep contemplation. “I
do
feel like I’m in a
movie. But for some reason, I thought this was the part where the man and woman
ravish each other.” His lips found their way to her back.

She smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m not
letting you get off that easy.” She rested her cheek on the cool sheets,
relishing in his absorption with her. 

“I think you’d be surprised by how
easily you get me off.” His mischievous tone gave her goose bumps as he moved
her hair aside to kiss her shoulders, the back of her neck. “I don’t think I
want to ravish you, though. Maybe savor is a better word.”

Yeah, he was good at this seduction
thing. “I had to go and fall for an English teacher.” She groaned. “You’ve got
a way with words, Sam, and your moves aren’t bad, either.” She rolled over so
she could see him. “How is a geeky computer nerd supposed to compete?” She was
the first to admit she was not good at expressing herself, even nonverbally.
Afraid she would come across as corny or insincere, when it came to matters of
the heart, she had a history of keeping her mouth shut. 

“There’s nothing to compete with,” he
said. “If all computer nerds had eyes like those, I’d be in a world of hurt.” 

Enthralled, it was as if he was taking
her in for the first time, and she had no idea how to respond to such
intensity. She managed to hold his gaze, hoping she could express how
completely enamored she was without having to say it. After all, it was much
safer than risk sounding like an idiot. She would leave the eloquence to the
one who was good at it, and pray he didn’t feel he was left hanging.

The corners of his mouth curved up as he
got the gist.

Time and space evaporated as she lost
herself in this man. Oh, how she had missed him.
Missed?
Was that the right
word? Oddly, it was the first one that came to mind. His heart inches from hers,
their fingers intertwined and lips met tenuously, eyes saying things words
could not.      

He filled and enveloped her in one fell
swoop. Under his touch, she willed herself not to cry. Her chest swelled with
joy, making it difficult to breathe, and exultant tears threatened to unleash
themselves. How and when did she turn into this gelatinous creature? So this is
what it was like. . . .

Sam stilled and closed his eyes, resting
his forehead to hers. “As Time Goes By” drifted through the room as his fingers
lightly touched her hair, and the weight of the moment was more than she could
take. She wasn’t prepared for this. How could she have prepared herself for
something she’d never known?
Don’t lose it, Sophie. Must contain emotions.
  
  

Sam remained motionless, his face still
pressed to hers. “Sophie,” he whispered. “You have me undone.” The ache in his
voice pierced her to the core, the hammering in his chest matching her own. She
longed to see his eyes, but he kept them shut. He swallowed hard, and then
skimmed his fingertips along her jawline.

And that’s when the tears escaped. She
had always thought the idea of crying during sex pretty comical, and now here
she was, ready to give him everything. Even her ridiculous tears. If her mother
had posed the age old question,
If Sam told you to jump off a bridge, would
you do it?
her prompt reply would be,
Yes, Mom. Yes, I would
. 

Sam brushed her cheek with his thumb,
cupping the sides of her face as he moved inside her.