Somewhere Only We Know (26 page)

True to type, Caro had an Uber taxi ready and waiting for them in the bays outside Victoria Station. Alex went for the gentlemanly approach and sat on one of the flipseats that faced backwards, his knees knocking against Nadia’s as he sat, and for the fiftieth time that day they avoided each other’s gaze. Rory ignored the other flipseat, choosing instead to wedge himself in between Caro and Nadia.

Alex watched Rory and Caro effortlessly flirting with one another – watched Nadia watch them too – and envied how simple it could be for them. They could flirt, mess around, part ways; nobody was going to get hurt or left behind. He wondered – not for the first time – if he should have just snogged Nadia that very first evening they’d met. There’d have been no Matt, no complicating friendship, no wasted time.

Nadia’s shins brushed against his knees again as she swapped over her crossed legs, her face still turned studiously out of the window, and Alex hated himself a little bit.

Caro’s posher neighbourhood was closer, so her flat was the first drop-off. Her neighbourhood was almost off of a postcard, with grand three-story Edwardian houses and wide, tree-lined pavements, each house in the terrace with a little sweep of steps up from the street to the uniform black front door. The only thing that was not identical was the slump of a figure and the square of a suitcase outside Caro’s…

At first Alex thought it might be a homeless person, but as the taxi neared and slowed the neatness of the person’s clothes put paid to that theory. Then suddenly Nadia, the only other person in the taxi who’d been looking out the window, gave a sharp gasp.

“Caro.” She turned to her friend and cocked her head urgently towards the house.

Caro was so entrenched in her conversation with Rory that she took a moment to realise that her attention was being diverted. She leant forward in her seat to get the right angle to see out of the right-hand window. Her face quivered with at least five undefinable expressions as she noticed the man waiting at her door and froze.

Nadia

“What’s up?” Rory asked immediately, craning his neck to see out of Nadia’s window as the driver finished his parallel park and Nadia heard the click of the door locks being disengaged. Caro remained rooted to her seat, staring at Monty, who apparently hadn’t yet noticed the huge black Uber car idling nearby and just remained staring dolefully into the middle distance.

She met Alex’s eyes for probably the first time since their near-kiss in Lola Lo. He knew something was up, but didn’t know what he should be doing about it. Nadia had never told him about Caro’s affair, deciding it wasn’t her story to tell. She shot him her best “don’t worry” look and turned back to Caro.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” she asked her friend. “I can stay.”

“He’s got a suitcase,” was all that Caro said in reply, still staring across at her lover.

Rory tried again. “What’s going on?” he asked, looking from one person to the other questioningly, even at the driver, who had turned around in his seat wondering why nobody was exiting his car. Caro pulled her tote bag with her weekend stuff up onto her lap and reached blindly for the door handle.

“Caro,” Nadia repeated, full of foreboding she didn’t quite understand.

“I’ll call you later,” was all that Caro said as she exited the taxi with no further leave. Monty had finally noticed her, standing up to his full height as she ascended the steps towards him. And the last thing that Nadia saw as the taxi pulled away around the corner was Monty flinging his arms around Caro as if it was him and not her who was the one arriving home.

“Who was that?” Rory was still craning his neck to look behind them, even though the car was well on to the next road by now. And then he said something that surprised everyone. “Was that that Monty guy?”

Nadia eyeballed him. “She told you about Monty?”

“Yeah, on the train down on Friday,” he scowled. “So that was him? He looked even more of a complete tool than I imagined.”

“Wait, why am I the only person in the dark here?” moaned Alex. “What is going on?”

Nadia turned to him impatiently. “Caro’s boyfriend. Her tutor. Married. With a kid.”

“Complete tool,” Rory helpfully summarised again.

“Okay. Gotcha. And so, what, he’s left the wife and kid?” Alex asked, doubtfully.

“He’d never leave his wife,” Nadia answered, shaking her head emphatically. “Never.”

“Well I think the huge suitcase says otherwise,” Alex pointed out.

Nadia pulled her phone from her handbag as if Caro was likely to be calling her any moment. “I hope she’s okay. Just when I thought she was starting to get over him. He goes completely AWOL for a couple of weeks and then pulls a stunt like this?” She shook her head again and lapsed into an agitated silence. She kept a worried eye on her dark and silent phone for the remainder of the short journey through the South London backstreets to Clapham Old Town. The windows of her flat were closed up tight, the blinds fully down – Holly couldn’t be home yet.

Nadia slipped out of the car, sliding her weekend bag along behind her and thanked the driver politely. Then she said goodbye to Rory before finally turning to Alex, the embarrassment lingering and palpable as gum stuck in her throat. He too had got out of the car and was motioning for her to pass over her bag, as though he was going to carry it upstairs for her.

“Oh, I’m fine,” she insisted immediately, flustered, pulling the bag up and onto her shoulder for good measure. “Thank you for this weekend,” she smiled. And then, all too aware of Rory and the impatient Uber man rubbernecking at her, Nadia lightly went up to her tiptoes and kissed Alex on the cheek. He hadn’t shaved at all whilst they’d been in Brighton and his stubble prickled at her lips like a warning.

“It was my pleasure,” he replied, a little hoarsely, as she pulled away. “I… hope you had a happy birthday?” Nadia just nodded, not trusting herself to say more. “See you later?” Nadia just nodded again, and made her escape into the silent, stifling flat.

She’d already been home for a couple of minutes and was going to and fro opening all the windows to get some air circulating before she even noticed it. She must have stepped clear over it when she came home: that perfectly sharp-edged white envelope lying on the mat.

Chapter 21

Alex

Did you have fun in Brighton??
Lila’s text read, its tone impossible to gauge (there was, for once, no helpful smiley face for context).

Although, considering he’d not actually told her in advance he was going to Brighton – the place where they'd originally met and been students together – and presumably she’d found out through Facebook, maybe not that impossible…

Alex considered the message for a minute or two, knowing that Lila was clearly expecting a speedy and appropriately ingratiating reply. And then he stopped himself. A year now spent doing this: drafting out perfect emails, perfect text messages, three-quarters of which Lila would usually never reply to.

He’d used to think it was enough. He’d never realised he was so wrong, how the truth of love was a person who could simultaneously be enough whilst still making you need more and more of them, for always. And whereas he used to study the planes and angles of Lila’s face, looking for meaning in her flippancy, straining to hear all the things she wasn't saying, now it was just Nadia, and it was easy.

Except, nothing was ever that easy, was it? What they’d all been dreading, Alex maybe most of all: her hearing date had come in the post. And they were out of time;
he
was out of time…

So he wouldn’t reply to Lila’s text message. He’d call her and arrange to meet up. There was too much to say, too much that was too important to get right. Because if there was one thing that Lila deserved after a year battling for Rory's attention, it was a guy who could give her his whole heart – and Alex knew that guy would never be him.

Nadia

Nadia leant out of the way as Caro hefted a steaming serving bowl of homemade paella over her head and onto the dining table. She inhaled appreciatively: Caro was a woman of many talents. Even though the cause for this impromptu little dinner party was achingly transparent, Nadia wouldn’t complain if it meant she got to partake of a four-course meal and all-you-can-drink wine.

“Hey,” Caro tossed her hair over her shoulder as she straightened and called back into the kitchen area. “Can somebody please open that 2004 Pinot?” She smiled at Nadia. “The man in the wine place said it would be perfect to go with a seafood paella.”

Nadia grinned and moved the empty glass that had held her arrival Prosecco nearer. “Sounds good to me.” If Caro thought that this is what it would take to keep her friend’s spirits up, Nadia definitely wasn’t going to dissuade her.

“Caro,” Holly said suddenly, nodding to send Nadia and Caro’s attention over to the kitchen, where a weary-looking Monty and an abused-looking Rory were going through every single drawer and cupboard in search of the corkscrew.

“In the small drawer under the microwave, sweetie,” Caro called over to Monty. “The corkscrew is a very important tool in this house; it’s important that you know where it is, now you live here and all!” Monty smiled amiably at her as he struggled with the cork; Rory stalked back over to the dining table and threw himself back down in his chair next to Alex, who shot him a look emblazoned “behave yourself”.

Yes, Alex was on his best behaviour tonight, and that apparently had to extend to his grumpy flatmate as well. In fact, Alex had been on his best behaviour ever since Nadia had called him up and told him she’d had her court appeal date through in the post. She’d practically heard it in the sudden silence down the other end of the phone: the moment where he’d switched gears and became this careful, polite, quasi-stranger; it was almost as if he’d said goodbye to her already.

“Nadia?” Monty drew Nadia out of her introspection. He was standing behind her chair, proffering the bottle of seafood-friendly Pinot questioningly. Nadia smiled the affirmative and pushed her glass nearer for him to fill, which he did, before moving on to Holly. Nadia watched him as he made his way gentlemanly around the table, making sure everyone had exactly the same measure of wine. She should feel happy about his presence – Caro certainly was; Monty had been the exception to the rule and had left his wife for his mistress. They were going to have to keep it a bit quiet for the next few months, just until Caro’s dissertation was fully submitted, but still, it was an about-turn that Nadia could have never dreamed of for her friend.

Monty continued the gracious host act, remaining standing until everyone had been served from the central bowls of paella and salad before slipping into his seat at the head of the table, Caro to his left, Rory to his right and facing Holly and Ledge, who each had a corner of the far end. Caro’s six-seater dining table was
not
coping well with the influx of a live-in boyfriend. Neither were its occupants; the conversation was slightly stilted, nobody too sure what to make of the fact that the man they’d been demonising for months was suddenly the guy topping up their glasses. Caro tried valiantly to keep the chat flowing, eventually turning to reliably opinionated Rory and his favourite topic: current affairs.

“Sweetie,” Monty interrupted eventually, having listened to Caro wax on about politics for five full minutes. “Come on, now. You just don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Everyone’s eyes swivelled to the top of the table; Alex actually dropped his fork.

“Of course I know what I’m talking about. I read their manifesto and everything,” Caro tried, after a moment’s embarrassed silence.

Monty just smiled patronisingly at her and continued eating. “You’re just regurgitating things that were said on last week’s
Question Time,
though, aren’t you?” he challenged once he’d swallowed his food. “The thing is, when you’re a grown up with grown-up obligations you’ll realise pretty quickly that the world isn’t as black and white as all that.”

“When she’s a
grown up
?” Rory repeated, incredulously, looking between Caro and Monty as if he was watching a tennis match. “What are you mate – all of five years older than her?”

“Seven,” Caro corrected quietly.

“Seven, then.” Rory rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

“I’m just saying,” Monty insisted, leaning back in his chair to take everyone in. “When you have a mortgage and nursery fees and real financial pressures and actual responsibilities, you won’t have much time for any of this bullshit, pie-in-the-sky political ideology, let me tell you that for nothing.”

The room remained silent, not really knowing how to react to Monty’s breathtakingly offensive stance that their lives were somehow less important than his just because they were a handful of years younger. Nobody said anything at all. Nadia bit down on the urge to howl at him, not wanting to ruin the already awkward evening completely. Across the table she saw Alex’s fist tighten against the tablecloth and knew he was struggling too.

Alex

Alex could feel Rory actually bristling beside him, the atmosphere in the room darkening a shade further. Across the table Nadia was clearly fuming too; Alex could see the flash of white between her lips that was her gritting her teeth. Someone should say something! He should say something…

“And this is why politics isn’t polite dinner chat,” Holly chimed, faux-cheerful as she tried to get the conversation back on an even keel. “Shall we open another bottle of wine, Caro?”

“Er, yeah, okay.” Caro got quickly to her feet, the serviette she’d had draped over her lap slipping to the floor unnoticed. “I’ll get some.” She moved across to the kitchen side lightly enough, but Alex noticed how her usually confident hands shook and fumbled as she worked the corkscrew. He saw that Nadia had noticed it too, could read the indecision on his friend’s face like a book; did Caro want comforting, or would she hate it if her friend drew attention to her embarrassment in front of her tactless lover?