Somewhere to Hide (The Estate, Book 1) (11 page)

‘But she talked about it as if it wasn’t real. She should –’

‘She’s just gone sixteen. And don’t tell me you haven’t noticed she has some sort of secret. God knows, I’ve been trying to get it out of her since she arrived.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Something isn’t right, but she’ll only tell me when she’s ready to. Unless… could you try and get it out of her?’

‘I doubt she’ll confide in me.’ Liz shook her head.

‘It was just a thought.’

‘You’d think she’d want to talk to Jess with them being about the same age.’

‘Are you mad? She’s more mixed up than Becky ever will be.’

Liz smiled a little but it soon faded. ‘I wish I could get through to Chloe. I know she’s protective towards me but I don’t really know what that’s doing to her. She doesn’t want to talk about it.’

‘Maybe she feels allegiance towards you and doesn’t want to speak ill about Kevin.’

Liz stayed quiet while she thought this over. She supposed Cathy could be right. It seemed far easier to talk to a stranger and bare your soul.

‘Shall we try a different approach?’ Cathy offered.

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘You try and talk to Becky, see what you can find out. And I’ll have a chat with Chloe?’

Liz shrugged. ‘It’s worth a shot, I suppose.’

‘Smoke?’ Danny reached in the glove compartment for his cigarettes.

‘No, ta, not for me,’ said Becky.

Danny started the car engine.

‘Where’re we going?’ she asked, after they’d been driving along a main road for a few minutes.

‘Just along the lanes, by the fields off the estate. We can find a quiet spot. No one will interrupt us there and we can have a bit of fun. That’s what you want, isn’t it?’

‘If that’s what you want too,’ she replied, trying to sound self-assured.

‘Sure. And don’t worry, I won’t be rough.’

‘I’m not bothered.’

‘Could have fooled me.’ Danny stopped at a junction before turning right. ‘By the look on your face, you’re shit scared. You’re not a virgin, are you?’

‘God, no!’

‘Shame. I like a challenge.’

‘Well, you’re not going to get one.’

Becky tried to look sexy but really she didn’t know how. Instead, she leaned over and placed her hand at the top of his thigh. Danny moved it to his crotch and pressed down hard. He groaned.

‘See what you’ve done to me already?’

Becky pressed her hand down harder. ‘Plenty more where that came from,’ she said, her nerves hidden behind a faint smile.

As they continued on their way, she prayed she’d got the courage to go through with her plan. If she hadn’t, she realised she would have a long walk home. Danny Bradley would almost certainly dump her. She couldn’t play around with his feelings: she’d heard girls at school being called dick-teases. This was for real now. Besides, Danny Bradley was more of a man than a boy. He wouldn’t want to be messed around. Hadn’t he already told her that he got what he wanted, when he wanted it? Imagine how he’d feel if she told him to stop.

In the midst of her panic, Danny turned down an unused dirt track, switched off the engine and turned towards her. He ran a finger over her lips, her chin, down her chest. It stopped at the seam of her top.

‘It’s a perfect spot here,’ he told her. ‘No one will see us, don’t worry.’

Becky felt herself relax into their first kisses. Her skin tingled more at his touch. Her mouth responded to his as he probed with his tongue deeper and deeper. Her hands roamed over his clothes, inside his clothes, urging him closer.

But within seconds, she felt the customary terror rise up inside her. She closed her eyes but images of Uncle James made her quickly open them again. She had to get this over with, rid herself of those ugly memories. With urgency, she reached for Danny’s belt and tugged at the buckle.

Danny gently eased away her hand and put it behind his back again. ‘No rush, little one,’ he said, not taking his eyes from hers. His hand then found its way up the front of her top.

Becky couldn’t help herself. She froze.

Danny stopped kissing her and opened his eyes. ‘What’s up?’

‘Nothing.’ She pulled him near again.

How could she tell him what was flashing through her mind as he touched her skin for the first time? How another one had been there before but hadn’t been so gentle?

‘Let’s go into the back,’ Danny whispered moments later. They climbed over and lay out on the seat. The night was warm, the air in the car was hot with anticipation.

Becky blinked away tears as he pushed into her. She turned away as he thrust, moving quicker and quicker. Then she grabbed hard onto his buttocks, pushing him in deeper and deeper. It hurt, God it hurt. But maybe that would make him come quicker. Still he continued for longer than she could bear.

When he was all but there, she lashed out. ‘Wait a minute,’ she cried, trying to push him off. ‘Wait!’

Danny started thrusting into her quicker and quicker. He grabbed her flailing hands and held onto them until he bucked for one final time.

And then it was over.

But Becky had seen the look on his face. She’d seen it on her uncle James, that look of disgust as she’d allowed him to use her.

‘Didn’t you like it?’ she whispered, trying to stop her bottom lip from trembling.

Danny frowned. ‘Whatever gave you that idea?’

‘I saw the look on your face, as you, you know.’

Danny grinned. ‘That was my sex face. Maybe I’ll see yours one day. You didn’t come, did you?’

Becky shook her head, unsure if she had reached her peak or not. How would she know?

‘Have you never?’

 ‘Of course I have,’ she muttered, pulling down her top.

‘Yeah, right.’ Danny shoved his hand up her skirt but Becky pushed it away.

‘Piss off!’

‘Hey, don’t get stroppy. I was only asking. Because if you haven’t, I could do something else that would
guarantee
that you would.’

Becky had had enough for one night. She felt the wetness between her legs and tried desperately not to gag.

‘I thought…’

As Danny touched her lightly on her shoulder, she jumped and inched away from him.

‘Whoa!’ He threw up his hands in surrender. ‘Jesus, you look really scared. What the hell has happened to you?’

‘Nothing.’ Becky tried to smile, hoping to throw him off the scent. The less people that knew about her problems, the more she could keep them a secret. ‘I got scared, that’s all. I did like it.’

Danny reached for his fags. ‘Thank Christ for that. I thought my reputation was going to get trashed!’

Later, after she’d said goodnight to Danny, Becky ran upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. She stripped off quickly, stepped under the shower and began to scrub at her skin. She felt dirty, trashy, cheap. In frustration, she began to cry. Rubbing until it was sore to the touch didn’t make her feel any better. She could hear her uncle taunting her, calling her names; she could hear him laughing at her.

She tried hard to push away the memories but she couldn’t, recalling one time in particular when James slapped her so hard that her neck had hurt for days after. She’d skipped school for two weeks until the bruising on her face had gone, trying to keep it from her dad too. Not that she needed to do that: he hadn’t really been around enough to notice.

She scrubbed at her chest, letting the water cascade over her head as she tried not to scream out loud. Why couldn’t she have enjoyed sex with Danny? All she could see was James’s face when he ran his hand over her breast, when he’d forced himself into her. Would she always be haunted by what he’d done? Always feel disgusted, like she did now, every time someone touched her? Would she never be able to fall in love because men would repulse her? Never be able to touch another man and not think of her uncle?

Her skin was still stinging when she went back to her bedroom. She changed into pyjamas, wondering if her tears would ever stop. Suddenly she heard a rap at her window. She pulled back the curtain to see Jess standing there.

‘Let me in!’ she whispered loudly.

Becky opened the window wide enough for her to climb through. ‘Do you know what time it is?’ she said. ‘Cathy’s going to kill you.’

‘She’s locked me out, the stupid old fart.’ Jess yanked down her denim skirt. ‘What’s the matter with your face? Have you been crying?’

‘No!’ Becky wiped at her eyes.

‘Where did you get to tonight? I was going to take you out with me. You missed out on some gear. I’ve had loads to drink and I’ve had some Whizz.’

‘Whizz?’

‘Billy?’

Becky looked on blankly.

‘Phet?’ Jess tutted. ‘Speed, you dozy moron!’

‘Oh.’

‘God, you’re so naïve.’

Becky clicked in. That was the reason Jess was being so nice. And why she hadn’t realised she’d been wearing her top and shoes.

‘Can you feel the love tonight,’ Jess began to sing loudly. ‘If you want a feel, I’m you…our…rrrrssss!’

‘Be quiet!’ Becky pushed Jess towards the door. ‘You’ll get into trouble, remember. You go to bed and I’ll say you were with me last night, until I ran off or something. I’ll say you were looking for me.’

Jess grinned at her. ‘Would you do that?’ she said. ‘Aw, you’re so sweet.’

‘You have to be quiet though,’ Becky warned. ‘Cathy’s still up. You don’t want to start her off.’

Jess put a finger on her lips. ‘I will be oh so quiet,’ she whispered loudly. She took another step then turned back. ‘Will you be my special friend, Becks? I need a special friend.’

‘Yes, but go to bed.’

‘I would, if I could remember where my room is.’ Jess snorted. ‘Oh, what am I like?’ She sat down on Becky’s bed with a thud. ‘I can sleep here.’

‘No, you can’t.’

Becky pulled her to her feet again with so much force that Jess fell forwards, nearly knocking both of them over.

‘Watch out!’ Instinctively, she put an arm across her stomach. Luckily Jess kept moving forward. Becky heard her bedroom door open and bang shut a few moments later, then peace resumed again.

She splayed her hand over her stomach. All of a sudden the realisation was sinking in. The baby growing inside her meant that she’d be stuck with what that monster had done to her for the rest of her life, and in more ways than one.

‘Why did this happen to me?’ she sobbed quietly.

Half an hour later, Cathy got up from the kitchen table and tipped the dregs of tea down the sink. Damn Jessica Myatt, she fumed, running the cup under hot water before leaving it to soak. Hearing her thump about upstairs, she realised she must have sneaked in the back way and up to Becky’s room while she’d been sitting up waiting for her. What was she going to do with that girl?

She was about to call it a day when she heard a noise outside. She groaned: not tonight, please. I need to sleep too.

Grabbing the hockey stick, she hurled it high and opened the front door. ‘If that’s you, Kevin McIntyre, I’m giving you fair warning that I’ll swing for you again!’ she yelled. ‘Leave the poor woman alone.’

‘Cathy!’ A familiar voice rang out. ‘Chill out, will you! It’s only me.’

‘Cheryl?’ Cathy’s eyes adjusted to the darkness outside. ‘Is that you?’

Cheryl Morton emerged from behind the privet hedge. If Cathy was shocked by her gaunt figure, her sallow skin and her lank greasy hair, she did a good job of hiding it. Cheryl’s hands were tucked into the pockets of a black top, the hood up and pulled tightly around her face. She wore dark skinny jeans and flat pumps: the black holdall flung over her shoulder gave her the look of a cat burglar.

‘Hiya, Cathy.’ Cheryl smiled faintly, dark rings prominent underneath her eyes. ‘Fancy making me a cup of your lovely tea?’

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Becky was still asleep when Jess launched herself into her bedroom the next morning.

‘Where are my shoes?’ She stooped to pick her top up from the floor. ‘And what the fuck is this doing next to your bed?’

‘You said I could borrow it,’ Becky fibbed, rubbing at her eyes as she levelled with her. ‘Remember, last night? You brought it in to say thanks for letting you in.’

‘No, I didn’t!’ Jess grabbed Becky’s hair and dragged her to the floor.

‘Ow, stop it! Get off me!’

‘You lifted it, you thief! I never said you could go in my room. I never said… that’s my mascara too, you bitch.’

‘I didn’t take them!’ Becky gasped as Jess pulled harder. ‘You gave them to me.’

‘No, I didn’t! I’m warning you. You touch my stuff again and I’ll do more than grab you by the hair. Don’t you ever –’

‘Still picking on the young ’uns, I see.’

Becky felt the tension on her hair relax. From her knees, she looked up to see a shockingly thin girl, her rough life seemingly written all over her face. She looked away quickly for fear of retaliation if she was accused of staring.