Son of Ra (13 page)

His lips slowed a little.  I felt his fingers in my hair, stroking gently and then shivered as his fingers slid across the back of my neck. 

He pulled his face back away an inch,
I am sorry. 

“Why?” I muttered.

“Because I wanted to let you choose the next time,” he said wryly.

“Oh, I fought it terribly well you see.”

He chuckled.  “I don’t want to rush you.”

“Why do your eyes turn almost gold?”

“Did they?” he seemed surprised.

“Maybe it is linked to what you’re thinking.  What were you thinking just before...”

His devil smile came out like I’d seen back at his home.  “Thoughts I shouldn’t be thinking.”

The color drained in my cheeks. 
Did he want to bite me?

He jumped back.  “No!  Crap, no!  Stace, I told you.  I don’t want to bite you.  Sometimes you think all the wrong things.”

“You don’t?  Why not?  What’s wrong with me?”

His hands were in his hair shaking it out far and wide.  “Nothing is wrong with you.  See—you are always thinking the opposite of what you should.    You…I can’t control other things around you.”  He would have to just say it what he needed to say.  I couldn’t figure him out.  He moved back to me.  “Stace, I have feelings for you I can’t explain with words.  I want to more than just kiss you.  I’ve never wanted to bite you the way you say.  But I’d gladly—”

“I get the picture.  Sorry I’m so dense about this subject.”  I put my hands in the air.

“Oh no, I’m okay with it.  Totally dang frustrated, but fascinated.”

“Why is it so fascinating?  Because you’ve probably conquered many and now you want to conquer me?”  I was so slow to anger until meeting him, but when it came it was a brutal.  I had no right, but I had to know.

“Um, Stace.  I’ve never “conquered” anyone.  Maybe that’s not manly enough for you.”

I smiled at the idea.  So, we are both mostly unknowledgeable.  I like that.

I’m not completely innocent, but if it means you’re going to think less of me. 

Think less of you?  Why would you think that?  I think it is absolutely amazing. Not that I want to know of any old flames or anything like that.

He beamed his laser smile at me. 

So this was awkward. 
I don’t want you to think less of me either.

I could never.
  His arms went around me.

“We are moving kind of fast for really knowing each other five days plus a few momentous events of the past," he whispered.

“I don’t care anymore.”

He beamed.  “You sure?”

“Yeah.”  I reached up on my own accord and set my lips on his.  I wanted to run my tongue across his teeth out of shear curiosity.  He stiffened.  He must know.

“Can I?”

He didn’t answer.  I needed to know he was sure he wouldn’t hurt me.  I wanted to be sure myself.

My tongue danced back and forth on his top lip.  Bottom lip.  And then…I felt only teeth.  Wonderful teeth.  He melted, I think.  I liked that.   The devil inside me was perched and revving for danger.  I pulled back, and raised myself to tiptoes trying to reach his neck.  I felt the ground beneath disappear.  I had my fingers and lips simultaneously nibbling at his neck.  My other hand was on his chest, just to be sure.  I wanted this, but I had to be sure.  I was ready.

His mouth found my neck tensing every muscle I could hold in place.  His lips were wet.  They left little traces of chill along the back to the front.  He stopped and kissed one spot over and over.  I panicked.

“What?” he was panting.  We hit the ground again.

“I…I…nothing.” 
He didn’t.  I was right.

“Of course your right.  I told you, I don’t want to hurt you.  I wouldn’t do that.  I’ve only ever eaten out of a dang fridge.  I’ve never wanted to bite anyone.”

I felt elated and calmed all in one.  “Thank you.  I am completely convinced.” 

“Are you?” his eyes darkened.

I backed up like I wanted to be scared but my smile gave me away.

His black eyes turned gold just like that. 
Yep!  Definitely a signal for something.  They turn gold when he wants…
my eyes searched him up and down…
yeah Cas, I know some things about men and women…and your—

He had me pressed against him lifting again.  I tried to rest my feet on his, but they just weren’t anywhere near the ground.  I felt him lower me into the grass as his mind set a picture of us as he saw it.

“We need to slow down,” he panted above me.

I licked my lips still holding the taste of him.  “But I’ve never kissed anyone like this before.  It is just so.…”  I finally could see reason with hearing my own words.  Very little reason came through, but enough.  “If I don’t stop, Cas, I don’t think I will be able too.”

He stopped fast, solidified his hold, and pulled back.  “You really feel that way, about me?”

He was the one asking me?  I was the one who couldn’t control myself, again. 

We shared a few soft petal kisses and then I felt myself lift into the air again.
That’s a rush.

Tell me about it.

We were back at the school and hidden just outside the wooded area by the back of the gym but not before I ran to my room at my court and grabbed my #1 knives.  I sighed on the inside at having them. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Anything.” Cas answered in a state of happiness.

“I’m meeting Calum here soon.  He was going to take me to see my brother.”

I know.

Sure he did.
I need him.  To help me solve all this.

I know. 

I’ve…we were kind of together when I left.

Cas nodded. 
Not on my list of topics to talk about right now.

I’m not now, obviously.  But I need to tell him in my way.  He is still somehow apart of all this.

I know.  I waited. 

You saw us.

He nodded.

Cas’ face scrunched up.  His eyes darkened with something else right back to black.  He nodded so little I might of imagined it. 

I mean, thank you for waiting.  I am sorry. 

You shouldn’t be.  It took me a long time and we needed the right moment to come
.

I pulled him closer to me.

I’m here now.

But you can’t stay.

I’ll be here tomorrow night. Five till nine. 

Cas kissed me one final time.  And he was gone.

Chapter Fourteen

…hangs a tale.

“Ready?” 

I jumped.  I do that a lot lately.  My stealthy instincts needed some improvement if I was going to survive this after teenage young adult lifestyle.  But the fighter in me would win.

“Actually, I have a better idea.  Instead of chancing off campus time, will you help me get in the library to do research where no one will see what I’m researching?”

“Okay.  Not sure that leaving might be more safe, but yeah, if that’s what you need.”

His warm smile mirrored back to mine. I pried his fingers off when he tried to put his arm around me.

“Time.  I need to focus.”  I tucked my bracelet under my shirtsleeve against me and started off in the dark hearing Calum suck in the air behind me.  I would tell him.  Soon!

We arrived in the library easy enough and settled on the farthest wall away from any windows.  I found the legends Szar told me about easier than I thought.  You had to put in the right thing for the search engine.  Calum was right over my shoulder looking on.  I felt the heat on my neck from his breathing, but didn’t react.  And oddly enough, a week ago it would have made me freeze up.  Today, it was like he was Szar, my brother behind me being annoying.  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I knew that all along but was too enthralled with the newness of direct attention verses attraction.  It took everything I had to find my quiet place and not say anything.  I think he knew somehow I wasn’t affected, since he backed up and sat next to me in the roll chair watching me. 

“Do you still like me?”

He was asking a dangerous question.  “Yes, Calum.  You have been such a blessing in my life.  I could have never survived without you.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”  Before I could, he leaned down and kissed me.  Lips on lips.  Soft. Sweet. It was just that.  I can’t say that I didn’t want it to happen for one simple reason.  It told me what my inner feelings had already registered.  It was just a kiss.  The heat, the passion that Cas sent through me was different than what Calum gave me.  It was just a kiss.

I didn’t want to do this right now though.  “Calum,  I don’t know what I think.  I don’t think we should see each other right now.  I need time.”  There, that was truth enough.

He nodded and started to stand.

“But I need you.  I can’t do this alone.” 

He nodded.  Sad was not enough to describe how his face spoke.

“Let me show you something.”

I explained to him what I’d found on the net.  I left off the part where my brother had informed me of most of it.  I showed him about the five and how I believed, and others, that we were somehow all born at the same time and coming back together like boomerangs on the same course.  He didn’t mention if he did catch that I said five or rather to reach a conclusion as I had.  He was intelligent, but not sharp when it came to little details.  Or didn’t tell if so.  His emotions couldn’t give him away because they were still the same as when I backed away from him.

I left out that the one of them is Cas.  He wasn’t ready for that tidbit assuming he didn’t already know.  I also left out the bit about me being this great being.  That was just arrogant.  He’d find out eventually.

I caught him up to what my father had told me figuring it better that he know as much as I could bring myself to tell him, the better we would be.

He took it all pretty well.  We decided we would meet for lunch in here tomorrow.  I asked if we’d could please include Maze in on it.  He was reluctant, but added anyway, “And Lee.”

I cringed up.  Lee.  I’d forgotten about him until now.  Better to know what he’s up to and feed him wrong information if I have too. 

“Fine.”  He stood.  “Lee admitted to me long ago about the spying.  I knew what he’d done.  No, I didn’t know he was helping the Valkyrie, but he’s not a traitor to all.”

Yeah!  Sure thing. Lee is on the flip side of trusted at the second, though I wonder if he was ever on the right side of anything.

Calum walked me to my dorm where I offered a hug as a goodbye.  I hugged him.  That would have to do for now until I could find the guts to tell him something else.

The next day was a blur until lunch.  When Lee walked into the library, I realized I’d successfully avoided him and even missed seeing him altogether until then.  His eyes found their way to my soul inside and out.  They showed all of how much he knew my past and present and every bit of how much he feared my future.  But mostly, I know his thoughts, because it didn’t include him the way he wanted it too.

“Princess.”

Was that all?  Lee couldn’t muster a “how are you” or “I’m glad your okay” anywhere in his cold heart?  I glared at him pulling my lips in tighter.  And this being called Princess had to end yet voicing it would cause him to do it more.  That theory was confirmed when I made such an ordeal of Cas calling me his Kissa since I seem so
cat
like!   I refused to admit that I liked him calling me that, so I egged it on.  However, hearing the other titles only reminded me of the present circumstances in my life.

“Glad to see you haven’t changed.  I’d heard otherwise,” Lee said indifferent.

What did that mean?  Oh well.  I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Lee,” I gave him back his one word greeting without any kind of emotion.

We all sat.  I clued them in on what they needed to know that I was okay with Lee hearing since my suspicions had been correct on his unreported liaisons between the factions.  Calum shot me a look when I skipped over the idea for the five of us being born to rule the factions telling me he didn’t miss the detail.  I’d gather more info before I divulged that.  I would soon lose track of who knew what if I wasn’t careful.  I’d told a few facts to one and different to another.  Need to know basis is the best way to go here, but I told Calum some things, Lee other things, and have yet to learn too much myself from Cas or Szar who withheld things. 
I-ya-ya!
My head started to hurt.

They seemed satisfied and all agreed to lay low and divvied out various jobs.  Lee would check the warehouse out of pure chance of checking it off the list.  Maze would sneak a peek at Dr. Green’s files just for the knowing that there might not be anything left there.  It would at least rule it out.  Calum agreed to accompany them both.

When they asked me if I was in on the snooping around, I declined saying that it was too soon to be seen sneaking about with friends and didn’t want to raise suspicion enough for the school to expel any of us.  Calum snorted at me, but didn’t protest.  Lee and Maze waffled back and forth at our faces, but let it go.

Maze cornered me in my room just before I was about to change and sneak out.  My whole body turned to stone knowing what was coming.  “You know.  You can’t string him along like this.  He deserves to know.”

I let my face fall a little, “I know.  I just don’t know how to say it.”  It felt good to have someone else know even if she was the one who warned me.

“He is a big boy.  He can take it.  But you can’t leave him hanging."  She got all motherly on me.

“I’m afraid he’ll never talk to me again.  I need him right now.  He’s a part of this whole fiasco and I can’t bear to see him hurt.  I didn’t mean to hurt him.  I couldn’t have known.  I think he is way awesome.  But I don’t feel the kind of feelings with him that I do with…”

“I know, I know.  I saw it.  You two have…chemistry.  You never had that with Calum.  Just infatuation.  I can see the difference looking from the outside in.  Yeah, I still think he’s a freaking Vampire and I see no possible attraction in that, but you’re also not a Hunter.  This makes it a little more acceptable, well not really, but anyway…I’m your friend till the end.”

“Good.  Then you can explain it to him and save me the heartache.”  It meant a lot that Maze was on my side and thought so much of me even though there was a faction and species difference going on there.

“Please.  And spare me the drama of watching it.  Besides, Lee is ecstatic.  He is enjoying every second and making Calum bath in his misery about losing you.”

“He is such a moron.  What is he telling him?”

“Oh, things like join the club, you’re not the first, and Vamp boy has more skills.  God, for someone so inexperienced…you have three men throwing themselves at you and you take no advantage of it.”

“What?  You’d have me egg them on?  And Lee is being an ass.”

“You expect any less?  And no, just have a bit of fun with it and enjoy the ride.  You’re a rock star in your own little show, girl,” she giggled.

“Well, I’m not toying with anyone’s emotions.  I have a hard enough time figuring out what a boy is trying to say when he is standing right in front of me, much less leading him on to think I want something I don’t.”

“That’s why your absolutely nuts.”

“So be it.”

“Fine.  But tell him soon.  I can’t bear to see him slobber about you anymore than I have to.  Calum needs to move on.”

An icy wave of fear whipped over me.  How could I tell Calum he would just have to move on?  I knew when I met him he was special, but not the way Cas made my insides crawl around and flip like I’d explode without his touch.  Life without boys was so much easier.