Sondranos: The Narrative of Leon Bishop (33 page)

Melanie and Kayt looked at me,
and nodded.

We all headed towards the crowd
and refused to make eye contact. It was odd being welcomed into the
fold. A man wearing long, sleek red robes handed me a rifle. He
looked to Melanie and Kayt, and handed Melanie a smaller pistol. He
handed a similar one to Kayt.

I met their eyes as we took the
guns and walked off towards a secluded area. A Belovore walked
patrol close by. We all smelled his armour, cold and bitter. Like
battery acid. He sneered as we inspected our weapons. I wondered if
the expression was perpetual. Kayt fingered the trigger and
unlocked the safety. I stepped in front of her as the Belovores
passed by, and she scowled at me. I doubt she would have fired.

Once the
Belovores had passed, I said: “Tell your stories. If the
Cooper’s
troops can reach
the front, or better yet, walk right in without firing a shot, then
the Belovores will panic and start attacking. Then we’ll have an
entire regiment on our side, plus a group of confused Forgiven
realizing how they’ve been played.”

It was good to have hope. Even
though I tried to believe what I said, I found that I couldn’t
fathom what was happening around me. To have come from Earth and
two weeks later be ready to fire on an enemy I never knew existed
still caused doubts in my mind. I pulled the rifle close to my
chest, turned away from Melanie and Kayt, and headed towards the
centre of the compound. The idea was to look for one of two
familiar faces, or robes.

As much as I
hate
to admit it, I can’t avoid the fact
that when I left Melanie and Kayt, I believed I should
fail.

In proper spirit, False Daniel
took the chance to remind me of why I should die that day. He may
not have been the one I saw out by the car, but by then I knew he
didn’t have to be. He was the inner voice that I needed in the
moment. Mean, confident, supportive, or degrading, False Daniel
only accentuated what I glimpsed in consciousness.

‘
Think about
Julien.’ He said, reminding me of a boy I knew long before I met
Daniel. ‘Gorgeous. The kind of person you could never deserve. You
were friends, and not once could you stand up and say what you
wanted. He was with that tool. You couldn’t tell him that he
deserved better, or that the guy he was with would cheat on him if
only he met someone better looking.

‘
Do you
remember the daydreams? You sincerely believed you could provide
him with such a wonderful life that he would forget all that came
before. Long brown hair, the kind of eyes you got lost in once or
twice – so, naturally, you never made eye contact. He was thin, and
his sisters weren’t so bad either. You contemplated moving to where
he did, and even though you knew he would let you in, you couldn’t.
You stayed at home and settled for what was safe. How did that turn
out for you?’

“
You know it
was never like that. Life continues after you meet other people,” I
mumbled. Even now I wonder if I’d had to mumble, because I felt the
blush rushing to my cheeks as I passed two Forgiven attempting to
tie the cords around their waists tighter.

‘
Julien – you
are too perfect for words. You deserve more than to be stuck with
someone who looks at you like you’re just a person. I want to sit
at home with you; I want to argue with you; I want to go out to so
many places that we’ll never remember them, and laugh at how much
money we wasted going out, only to stare at each other and smile.
We belong together, and while I understand that you have found your
happiness, I just wish I could have the chance to show you that
ours could be the kind of happiness that surpasses
stories.’

Anger flushed the blush away,
and it took all I had to compose myself.

‘
You are
indecisive. You may believe the words, but you’ll never commit to
the actions so long as you can use the words again. You hide behind
the narrative, and hope it will act for you. Just like with Julien,
and just like you did with me.’

“
I’m going to
save this place,” I said. I knew the person of my words, and I
believed them. I’d been speaking, and writing and acting in passive
voice for so long that I’d lost track of what it was to be myself.
Nobody should be forced, or tricked, into playing that game. I
acted. I stood up and spoke. I moved the commune with the strength
of my words, and this time, someone did hear me.

“
That’s the spirit I’ve been waiting
for
!” Davion clapped me on the
shoulder, tearing False Daniel away from my mind. “I cannot speak
of how I felt. Annalise had her own brand of spirit and Melanie had
a piece of mine. Kayt and Lancaster shared one, but you were always
the doubt in my mind. I am proud of you.”

“
Don’t be
proud of me yet, we still have to make sure the Belovores survive
this,” I said. It was what he wanted to hear, I hoped. I’d gotten
good at lying. I imagine, given more time, I could have even
convinced myself I really was on vacation.

Davion didn’t react badly, or
second guess what I’d said – my words only bolstered his frame.
Taking the chance, I spoke up again while two freshly armed
Forgiven rushed past, heading towards the eastern section of the
wall. I glanced after them, and saw that most – if not all – of
those ready to defend the commune had taken up their posts either
on the top of the wall, at the ladders, or at various points
alongside buildings.

Since Davion found me, I took
action. “I need to talk to you in private. I am having doubts about
the others.”

“
How
so?”

I pointed to Kayt and Melanie,
who had stuck beside each other and were talking to a group of six
Forgiven. They watched, one laughed, while the others listened.
Kayt was speaking. She leaned forward as she spoke.

“
I don’t
think this plan will work,” I said. The idea was to make him
believe I had thoughts that would best remain private. I’d hoped he
would see that; maybe he would call me to somewhere secret to
discuss it so that I could attempt to sway him.

Davion looked over each of his
shoulders and hushed me. “Quiet,” he said. “Do you truly believe
this?”

I nodded. Acting like I was
following the edict of the commune seemed to be working.

“
Then explain
this to me. Here is good enough,” he said.

“
No, I’d feel
safer some place private.”

“
Anything you
say in private can be said here. This is a peaceful place,” he
said. His eyes implored me to speak. Something hovered between his
will to speak and what he said. I could feel it, like anticipating
bad news.

“
You doubt
what’s going on here,” I said. “You know – deep down – that this is
a terrible idea. You know that convincing the Forgiven to protect
the Belovores will only result in more loss of life.”

Davion’s eyes widened, and he
swallowed hard. He grimaced and frowned. “You don’t understand what
goes on in a man’s heart. Bringing you few here, saving your lives
gave me more of a purpose than my own God had allowed me. I was not
supposed to survive the destruction.”

“
You just
learned that, didn’t you? Through Father Corin.”

Davion said nothing.

“
The
Belovores are dying,” I said. I raised my voice. “They have been
ever since they landed. They know there aren’t enough of them left
to rebuild, so they’re taking out every last one of us. Father
Corin knows this, and he’s been helping.”

Davion struck me – right on the
chin. His fist was loose, and the knuckles popped as they my neck
wrenched.

“
Lies,” he
said.

“
Look around
you, Davion. Count the Forgiven. Could the MacKinnon Commune of the
First Divinity survive with this many people? Without recruiting,
with only a small portion of births?” I assumed. My pleas felt like
the addendum to something larger I was supposed to be saying, or
would say later.

Davion scanned the crowd. He
did so with a hatred furrowing his brow. After he’d looked around,
and after more Forgiven walked past us – we hadn’t been loud
enough, or violent enough, I thought, to garner attention – he
winced. “No,” he said.

“
Now count
the Belovores,” I said. “All the ones you can see. Count how many
there are, because you know that all of the ones who’ve survived
this massacre are here right now.”

“
You’ve
lied,” Davion’s expression changed. The hatred was directed at me.
“You do not wish to support this, do you? You’ve been perpetrating
a falsehood.”

“
I’m giving
you reasons, Davion. I know you’re doubting yourself, and your part
in all this. I know you expected Sondranos to stand down, and all
the Belovores to come in peace. I know why you kept Melanie’s
father a secret.”

“
You don’t
understand,” he said.

“
I do,
Davion. I want to see the survival of everyone in the commune, as
well as the troops coming to the front door. I’m telling you that I
know why you’re doubting – and I want to help you. I want to help
everyone here.”

“
No, you
couldn’t understand. Sometimes you have to lie. You have to tell
yourself that what you are doing is best, because not everything
you do will be forgiven. You have to hurt people; you have to crush
their minds because they threaten you with damnation,” Davion
turned around, set his hands against his forehead and pushed back
his hair. Sweat slicked it back. “You can’t allow your secrets to
come to light. Once one is out, the rest will follow.”

Davion looked at me, and then
sprinted away. The oddly spry older man headed towards the Hall,
and I had to beat my heels into the ground to catch him. My hand
slipped onto his robe and caught the fringe. Davion tripped as I
yanked it towards me. Thankfully, all attention was drawn towards
the outer wall and elsewhere, otherwise I wouldn’t have made it any
further at that moment. He stumbled to the ground. I took the
moment to power on my rifle. I’d almost forgotten it was there. The
switch sent a shiver of energy through the barrel, vibrating in the
handle, and making the trigger warm against my finger.

“
Stand,” I
told him. “Do as I say, or I will tell Velric personally what
you’ve said. I’m sure he would love to hear from you.”

“
You would be
killed too,” he said. He pushed his hands behind him and shuffled
himself into a sitting position. He struggled to get up. I didn’t
offer a hand. “Didn’t Velric tell you about our purpose, and about
why Father Corin must provide our salvation?”

“
No. Velric
told us we were all damned,” I said. “Take me to
Annalise.”

Davion wiped his hands and
clapped any excess pre-morning dew away.

More and more
Forgiven arrived
, and more were being
armed, while crates kept piling up. I don’t know where all of them
had come from, but as we walked, I slowly realized the intent
behind the Belovore’s sweeping for weapons in Covenant Street. A
man bearing Amos’ weapon trundled by. I knew it was his, as it
looked homemade, and I could never forget the way that gun looked –
it was set in my mind alongside the memory of watching Amos
die.

The Belovores weren’t rounding
up people – they were collecting weapons for the commune. All the
weapons that had been fried, all the ones created by gunsmiths,
each and every one must have been under scrutiny to see which ones
could be used, and which ones had to be scrapped after the dead
man’s switch activated. I didn’t want to think of what happened to
all the people who were rounded up.

Melanie told
a very strange story.

As I was busy with Davion,
after their initial attempt at convincing some of the Forgiven to
holster heir weapons, she and Kayt parted ways. But before that,
Kayt listened carefully, as she would repeat Melanie’s story
verbatim. It was clear that the fiction of the moment would have to
suffice, as preservation had been so deeply ingrained with the
Forgiven that holding their guns looked natural.

“
The city was
destroyed by a race hunting the Belovores down,” she began. “They
ran across a colony that lives out there amongst the stars, and
somehow angered them. Must have been a cultural thing. We saw their
ship arrive, but they’ve been in hiding. These aliens called
themselves Helioloid. They heard the distress signals from the
encampments all over the crater, and have been wiping them out one
by one.”

“
It’s true –
you can’t contact the city. It was wiped out by a Helioloid
device,” Kayt added.

“
Then they
heard the International Aeronautics defence ship – the
Cooper
- was coming, and
decided to hide, to let us tear each other apart out of fear. The
Belovores are hiding too, but they don’t know that the Helioloids
are hiding. They know what’s going on. You won’t be attacking your
enemy, you will be attacking your friends. And if you do, they will
be forced to return fire. The Helioloids will have one less enemy
to fight. The Belovores will die anyway.”

“
Trust her,”
Kayt said. “If not, then trust me. Look at me. I lost my best
friend to those things,” she said. Her eyes locked on the one in
the centre of their crowd – which had begun to slowly grow - and
started detailing what the Helioloids did to Lancaster. She spoke
with the same passion she would later use to detail the Belovore’s
massacre. It was easy for the Forgiven to believe that she spoke
with the utmost conviction. She wept as she spoke.