Song of Solomon (20 page)

Just so the departure to her room wouldn't appear to be the needless excuse for an escape that it was, Shaylynn changed her clothing, taking off the jeans and top that she wore during her shopping spree and putting on a mint green silk sundress. And after moisturizing her legs, she topped it all off with a pair of high-heeled dress sandals, white accented with mint green jewels. Since Neil was wearing a business suit, she reasoned that her new attire wasn't to capture his attention, but to keep him from feeling overdressed.

When Shaylynn re-entered the living room, she found Neil standing at her mantel, getting a closer view of the display she'd seen him glancing at earlier. Why was he so fixated with it? To disrupt his focus, she clicked her heels harder than necessary against the floor beneath her feet.

At the sound of Shaylynn's approach, Neil turned and faced her. His lips were quiet and still, but his eyes spoke at deafening volumes as they scrutinized her choice of garment, coming to a rest at her polished legs. Shaylynn had long drawn the conclusion that a woman's legs were two of Neil's favorite parts of the female anatomy, though she was sure that he had other preferences as well. His eyes said that he was pleased with the view, and although she refused to admit it to herself, Shaylynn was pleased that he was pleased.

“Ready?” He swept his arm toward the front door as if to say, “Ladies first.”

Nodding, Shaylynn said, “But I have to set my alarm, so you'll have to exit first.” Complying, Neil closed the door behind him. “Lord, what am I doing?” Shaylynn whispered while punching in the security code.

Tuesday afternoon's Italian lunch had turned into a Wednesday night fine dining experience. It had taken a little more charm than normal, but Neil won again, and now, he could hardly take his eyes off of the woman who sat across from him wearing the vast majority of her micro braids neatly gathered and pinned into an up-do that made her look even more elegant. Shaylynn's tastefully applied makeup gave her the appearance of a woman slightly older than her thirty years. The beading on the silver cocktail dress she wore caught the chandelier lighting of the restaurant that was tucked away along the banks of the Chattahoochee River in the Atlanta community of Vinings.

A gentle but cool summer breeze that the nearby waters seemed to purposefully blow in the direction of the table Neil shared with Shaylynn had caused her to begin shivering early in the evening. Neil could tell that she wanted to decline the offer of his suit jacket, but the persistent breezes caused her to graciously accept. As Neil removed his jacket and did the honors, purposefully brushing his hands against Shaylynn's bare arms in the process, and then using his hands to gather her fresh dangling braids and freeing them from the temporary captivity that the draped jacket had placed them in, he made a mental note to thank God later for His unmerited favor.

Back in 2005, Canoe restaurant had been named to the Fine Dining Hall of Fame in
Nation's Restaurant News
. Ever since reading about the eatery's honor, Neil had been searching for a reason to visit. He'd considered taking his mother there on her seventy-fifth birthday, but the setting seemed far too romantic for a mother/son affair. On the other hand, when Shaylynn finally accepted his invitation after four phone calls, three text messages, and two dozen roses (all within a twenty-four hour period), Neil couldn't think of a more effective way of impressing the young woman who had nabbed his affections like a common criminal and placed them in handcuffs. Here lately, with thoughts of her lingering in his head, Neil felt as though his heart had not only been arrested, but the key that could free him from permanent lockdown had been thrown away.

It appeared that Canoe was a good choice. As Neil admired Shaylynn's beauty, she admired the splendor of the open space surrounding their patio seating. While they awaited dessert, she seemed to have just as much trouble taking her eyes away from nature's magnificence as Neil had taking his eyes away from her. Even when Shaylynn finally turned her attention to her date for the evening and caught him gazing, Neil still couldn't force his eyes away.

“You're staring,” she said, fidgeting in her seat and tucking dangling braids behind her ear.

“You're stunning,” Neil replied.

“Thank you.” Her smile was bashful, and just when Neil thought that he couldn't be more attracted to her, he was.

Something about the desires stirring inside of him didn't seem appropriate. Neil took several gulps from his glass of water and hoped the cold liquid would douse the inner smoldering. He needed to strike up a conversation that would ease his mounting passion. “Did you enjoy your dinner?”

She eyed him, and Neil knew why. It was a question that he already knew the answer to, not only because she'd cleaned her plate, but also because—

“I told you that I did,” Shaylynn replied. “It was so delicious that my mouth is already watering just imagining what dessert is going to taste like.”

Mine too
. Neil couldn't believe the level of naughtiness that his mind had reached. It was apparent that talking about dessert wasn't going to help. He'd have to try another avenue. “My mother told me that she loves what you're doing for her house.” Perfect. Any man who couldn't snap out of it when talking about his mama needed psychological help.

“Did she?” Shaylynn's smile broadened just as the server appeared with her chocolate mousse torte and Neil's lemon chiffon cheesecake.

“Yes, she did.” Neil requested the bill, and once the attendant provided it and left them alone, he continued, glad that he could feel his heightened emotions calming now. “Getting Ms. Ella Mae to incorporate some changes has been quite a job. Me and my siblings have been tussling with her for years. I guess she just needed a professional, someone who would patiently walk her through it instead of badgering her like we were doing.” Neil's speech was distracted when Shaylynn reached up with her left hand to tuck away a braid that a new breeze had displaced. Her ever-present wedding set flashed a reminder of her heart's status, just in case he'd forgotten.

God, I need your help.
The silent prayer crept into Neil's head while he sank his fork into his cheesecake. He had never wanted to win the love of a woman as much as he did Shaylynn's, and knowing that the memory of a dead Emmett Ford was strong enough to prevent it forever nearly made Neil detest a man he never knew. His heart ached for a love that seemed so close, yet so far away.

“My mother is fond of you as a person too. She says you're easy to work with.” The quietness had begun to pound on Neil's eardrums. He had to talk about something.

Shaylynn's expression said she was pleased with his comment. “I like her too. She has a great sense of humor. I imagine she kept you guys laughing when you were children.”

Neil smiled. Actually, she hadn't. Eloise Mae Flowers Taylor did a lot more mothering than laughing when Neil and his siblings were growing up. The sense of humor that she had now was a reserved trait that they rarely saw until they got older. Neil didn't tell Shaylynn that, though. He'd let her keep the notion that his mother had always been their footloose and fancy free friend, instead of the strict disciplinarian that he remembered: the one who would pull out a switch in a New York minute if her children even looked like they wanted to get out of line.

“She told me that she hurt her leg in the same accident that killed your father,” Shaylynn added.

Talking about the sudden death of his father wasn't nearly as painful as talking about the death of his brother, but Neil didn't like to do either. He hoped to keep this conversation on a path that didn't force him to revisit either of the losses. “Yes, she did. Ms. Ella Mae has been through a lot in life—we all have—but we're still going strong, and much of that is due to my mother. She sees everything as God's plan, and I think that helps her survive every test. Did she tell you that her leg was supposed to be bum?”

“No, she didn't,” Shaylynn admitted. Her eyes said she was surprised by this new revelation. “Ms. Flowers did tell me that she was walking by God's grace, but she didn't go into detail. When you say ‘bum,' do you mean she was supposed to be lame?”

“In that one leg, yes.” Neil took the time to put a piece of cheesecake in his mouth and savor the flavor before continuing. “Ms. Ella Mae had several surgeries on her leg, and the doctors said she'd never walk again; but look at God.”

“Amen,” Shaylynn said. “What a wonderful testimony. And she's a feisty lady too.”

“And very perceptive,” Neil added, recalling the knowing glance that his mother gave him when he and Shaylynn stopped by the house, dressed in their evening wear, to drop off Chase. He knew that he didn't have to tell Eloise what was happening. She was fully aware, and even without her saying so, Neil knew she approved. “I think my niece and nephew are gonna miss Chase when they leave tomorrow.”

Shaylynn beamed and bobbed her head up and down. “He's definitely going to miss them. Chase talks about them more than he does any of his schoolmates, and I know he's enjoyed the time he's spent with them at your mother's house. He still talks about that overnight stay last Saturday. He had a blast.”

“So did they. The kids spend every summer with Ms. Ella Mae, so maybe they can hang out once the school year ends.”

“Sure. My son would jump at the opportunity to spend more time with your niece and nephew.”

“Would his mother like to spend more time with their uncle?” Neil didn't know where the voice had come from, but apparently it had come from his mouth, because he was the one that Shaylynn was staring at.

“Dr. Tay—”

“Please don't call me that.” Neil implored. “It's apparent that you already know Dr. Taylor. I want you to get to know Neil, and I want to get to know more about Shaylynn.”

“You do know me.”

“Not as much as I'd like to know.”

“Well, you know all you
need
to know.”

Neil knew he should let it rest. He could see that the atmosphere was changing, and Shaylynn was becoming agitated. But he couldn't let it go. He couldn't just keep letting Emmett run things from the grave. He had to find a breakthrough. “What are you afraid of?” Neil asked the same question he'd asked her on his birthday as they stood at her car door at his mother's house. He didn't get an acceptable answer then, but he hoped to get one tonight. He'd never get anywhere if he didn't know what he was working against.

Both their voice levels were low, but their tones were turning stiff. The eyes of those sitting at the tables nearest them darted in their direction, but neither Neil nor Shaylynn seemed to notice or care.

“I'm not afraid of anything. And certainly I'm not afraid of you, if that's what you're insinuating.”

“Then why won't you open up to me?”

“Maybe I don't want to. Did that ever cross your mind?” Shaylynn pushed her dessert away like she'd suddenly lost her appetite for the chocolate she'd been craving.

Neil placed his fork down, but didn't push away his cheesecake. “Yes, you do.”

“Well, aren't we the arrogant one?”

“I'm not being arrogant; I'm being honest, which is more than I can say for you.”

Shaylynn's eyes widened, and her jaws were clenched when she replied, “I beg your pardon?”

“Shay, a man knows when he's gained a woman's interest.” Neil knew he was sounding full of himself, but he didn't care how much she denied it; he knew there was something special between them.

“Does he also know when he's gotten on her last nerve?” Shaylynn's eyes were shooting missiles at him. Maybe the whole notion that she felt something special for him was all in his mind.

“Yes, he does,” Neil admitted. “And I'm very aware that I'm doing that too, and I'm sorry. But I don't know any other way to make you understand.”

“Understand what? What do you want from me?”

“I want to love you, okay? Is that too much to ask?”

Shaylynn stared at Neil, and he stared back, just as shocked at the words he'd said as she was at the words she'd heard. Batting her eyes in disbelief, Shaylynn asked, “You want to what?”

Neil had the urge to take back the words he'd blurted, to erupt into laughter, and tell her that it was all a joke. Not because he didn't mean what he'd said, but because he could already feel the humiliation of her total rejection. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, staring at the table in front of him.

Why was he apologizing? He'd asked God for an opportunity, and this was it. The door had been opened, and it was up to him to walk in.

It's now or never.
Knowing that his thoughts were truth, Neil recanted. “No . . . no, I'm not. I'm not sorry.” Finding a spark of courage, Neil leaned across the table, bringing himself closer. “You don't feel this?”

Shaylynn drew back. “Feel what?”

“
This
,” he stressed, pointing from her to himself. “Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't feel anything. Tell me that there's no part of your heart that is begging to belong to me, no part of you that feels like Jesus Christ Himself brought us together to be a source of healing for one another. Tell me that, Shay, and as God is my witness, I'll take you home, and I'll never call on you again.” Neil prayed that he wouldn't be forced to cash in on that promise.

Shaylynn's eyes pooled with tears. “I have to leave.” She pushed her chair back from the table.

“Wait, sweetheart. Wait.” In one quick motion, Neil reached and grabbed her left hand and held it for a long while of silence. Neil didn't move, and neither did Shaylynn, but silent tears were streaming down her cheeks. Neil took the thumb of his right hand and wiped away the moisture while repeatedly mouthing the words,
Please don't leave
. To his surprise, Shaylynn didn't pull away.

Neil tried again. “Listen to me for a minute, okay?” Shaylynn nodded, and he handed her a napkin for her newest tears, then continued. “Whether you know it or not, the two of us are a lot alike.” When Shaylynn turned her eyes away, he added, “Hear me out. We've both been through some tragedies that include losing spouses. Mine came by way of divorce and yours by way of death, but both were losses that were not planned and certainly not painless. I'm not trying to lessen the seriousness of Emmett's murder, but your losing him made you draw the same conclusion that my divorce made me draw. That conclusion was that we would never put ourselves in the place to be hurt again. You promised yourself that you'd never allow yourself to love another man, and I vowed to never allow myself to love another woman.”

Neil paused and took a long look at Shaylynn's wedding ring. When he touched it, he felt her hand flinch. Looking back at her, he said, “I can't speak for your heart, Shay, but mine is making a liar out of me real fast.”

Shaylynn snatched her hand away. “Take me home.” She jerked her chair farther from the table, ripped his jacket from around her shoulders, and walked away, leaving his coat partially dangling on the back of her vacated chair.