Song of the Navigator (14 page)

“But…but they can't do that!” Tover gasped, horrified. “There's got to be laws protecting them. They're a wild species!”

“Harmony owns this planet.” There was no denying the bitterness in his voice. “In their accounting system, that means they also own everything on this rock. The natural refuge they plan to build in the reservation is nothing more than a novelty. Those nesting birds will never see their young fly.”

A deep sadness rocked through Tover. He couldn't believe the cruelty of it. That massive flock of birds had been the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen, in thirty years of traveling the galaxy, and he would do anything he could to save them, not let this incredible natural habitat be taken away.

“What can I do about it?” Tover asked.

Cruz narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I have a position of power. More power than anyone on DK Station. I have a ton of money. I can buy them a sanctuary.”

Cruz actually gaped. “You think… Wait a minute. You think Harmony gives a fuck about saving some birds?” Cruz looked like he'd laugh, but his expression softened. “Tover. I've been trying to tell you something, and you clearly aren't listening. This company is about making money. They don't care that a million Caridans might die in the pursuit of this money. They
definitely
don't care if a million
birds
have their habitat taken away. And even if you spent all your shares, what do you think you can do for them? Ruby hornbills eat airborne Caridan insectae that can be found exclusively at dusk over the marshes. They only build their nests on rocky outcroppings. They breathe carbon dioxide and their nests are constructed from the algae that is found only here in Western Serica. There is no sanctuary you can build that will equal their natural terrain. I've seen people try to raise rubies in cages, and they die. They always die. Their survival is completely dependent on this planet.”

Tover knew he was right. But he couldn't accept it. “Well, we have to try something!”

“I have,” Cruz said after a minute, frowning. “At great personal cost to you, I'd like to point out.”

Tover turned away, sick to his stomach. He told himself he'd never be able to justify what Cruz had done to him. But for a moment, sympathy coursed through him. Cruz was trying to save these birds.

No, he wasn't
, Tover reminded himself. Cruz was trying to save himself. Tover didn't give a fuck about the Caridan people. But those birds…

And Ana, he realized. And Lourdes. He wouldn't want anything to happen to either of them. Maybe it was simply an aftereffect of coming into Lourdes's care after such brutality on
The Baroque
, but Tover adored her. No one had ever treated him so kindly, in all his life. She had a motive—her son had hurt him—but she could have simply treated his wounds and left him to go back to the Pulmon Verde.

But Lourdes and Ana didn't have to cook Tover's favorite meals. They didn't have to learn Arlandian Parcheesi to entertain him. They didn't have to put up with Tover's constant complaints or put washcloths on his hot forehead or even hit him on the back and tell him to act like a man. They did all these things because they acted like they loved him.

Tover felt choked up again. Cruz's expression was sympathetic. He reached down and gently held Tover's arm. “Come on,” he said. “It's going to get dark and we need to get out of the valley before then.”

Tover swallowed back his grief and followed Cruz up to the ledge. “Why?” he asked, voice rougher than normal. “Are there killer animals that come out at night?”

Cruz snorted. “No. But the chances of getting your ankle twisted in a moss-covered crack in the rocks are pretty much one hundred percent once the light is gone. Believe me, climbing out of this gulley with a sprained ankle is no picnic. I've done it twice.”

“You have?”

Cruz nodded. Tover realized Cruz still held Tover's arm lightly, reassuringly. Tover thought he should shake it off, but he didn't have the heart at the moment.

“There's an incredible flower that blooms in the summer at the base of Roja Valley,” Cruz said. “My mother loves them. Twice I ended up trying to climb back up in darkness, and twice I fucked myself up.” Cruz grinned down at him. “My mother was torn between wanting to hit me for being so careless and wanting to hug me for getting her the flower in the first place.”

Tover laughed. He could see Lourdes doing both.

Cruz smiled back, and delight seemed to color his features. Even with his black eye, he looked roguishly handsome. Tover imagined kissing him.

But then he did nearly trip and twist his ankle on a rock, so instead he told his libido to take a fucking break and focused instead on getting out of the valley in one piece.

Chapter Eleven

In the morning, Cruz joined his family and Tover for breakfast for the first time since Tover had arrived.

Tover still felt apprehensive having him nearby, but it was getting hard to remember that he'd wanted to kill the man a month ago. It wasn't that he forgot his torment; he relived his ordeal on the Jarrow ship nightly in his dreams, and he couldn't create an orbifold strong enough to take him anywhere.

But Cruz's role in his torment had shifted. And although Tover was technically Cruz's prisoner, it felt different.

More and more of the guards “imprisoning” Tover were friendly with him. He discovered that the soldier Lalo knew how to play Arlandian Parcheesi very well, and the two had spent several hours outside, board set up on the wooden step of the Arcadio house, drinking weak beer and competing viciously for the greatest number of wins. Tover managed to beat Lalo more times than not, but the soldier was a fast learner, and improving.

Cruz had no interest in playing, but he often watched, although he seemed more focused on Tover than on the game board. And even though Tover forced himself to recall what Cruz had done to him, it was hard to hate a man whose company Tover had once adored. Even now, while trying to keep his distance, Tover still felt Cruz's presence like a magnet pulling him closer.

One evening, when Ana was out with friends and Lourdes was at her clinic, Tover decided to pull up one of the endless numbers of pirate films on the holoscreen in Lourdes's office to watch.

Lourdes's office was in the center of the house, with one door leading off to a guest room and another to a full bathroom for her patients. The office was a large open space and immaculately clean. He stayed away from the bone knitter and the surgical table, making his way to the corner, where Lourdes had a small couch and coffee table, with a holoscreen available.

Cruz joined him only seconds after the film started.

“I'd recognize that opening credit song anywhere,” Cruz mused. He hovered beside Tover, not sitting, but looking at the screen. “
The Butchers of Alpha 9
, right?”

Tover nodded. “A favorite, I take it?”

“You'll see why in about thirty seconds.”

Tover watched, body alert to Cruz's presence, unable to relax with all that heat and muscle close enough to touch.

The opening credits ended and the hero of the film appeared. It was Daniel Zenz, a famous actor of his generation who was inordinately handsome. As he swung precariously through the ropes of an ancient mariner vessel, flexing his biceps with each move, Tover laughed.

“Dan Zenz,
really
? His films are terrible. And he's good looking but he's not
that
great,” he commented.

Cruz sat beside Tover warily, as if worried Tover would hit him. “Maybe he's more my type than yours.”

Tover looked over Zenz's body, and was struck with the realization that the actor looked a lot like Tover. Blond hair, cut wild and slightly curled, bright blue eyes, lithe muscles.

At least, that's what Tover used to look like, before he'd been smashed up and tossed aside. His hand crept to the scar on his throat, he felt the ugly ridge of hard tissue.

As if reading his mind, Cruz quietly said, “You're still as beautiful as you've always been to me.” He reached out and gently pulled Tover's hand from his own throat. Tover was surprised by the intensity in Cruz's eyes.

Tover cleared his throat and turned away from Cruz. For the duration of the film he pretended to be engrossed, when all he could think of was that heavy, muscular thigh lying alongside his on the sofa, and how easy it would be to touch it.

The film was abominable, the logic of using ancient sailboats on a planet filled with human-eating monsters ridiculous, but Tover watched the entirety of it because it was nice sitting next to Cruz, despite all his efforts to drum up even a hint of seething hatred. The loneliness that had punctured his soul from that first day on the Jarrow vessel dissipated as he watched this terrible film with someone who had been a lover first, then a friend.

“Why the hell would you fight off an alien invasion with cannon fire?” Tover mumbled.

It was the wrong thing to say if he wanted to ignore Cruz. Cruz enthusiastically launched into an argument about the brilliant strategies of using cannon to disable the particular monsters of Alpha 9. By the closing credits they were laughing and arguing over whether the hero was the stupidest man to ever live or, Cruz argued, a brilliant strategist who made absurd choices specifically to fool the enemy.

Tover shook his head, face aching with laughter after so long. He stretched and turned off the holoscreen, but then realized how dangerous that was. Now he was sitting on a couch with Cruz, and there was nothing else to look at, nothing else to do.

Cruz's eyes were soft and hooded with that casual, lazy joy he used to show after making love. He watched Tover carefully, and it didn't take a genius to realize he was waiting for Tover to make the first move.

And because Tover's traitorous dick wanted to do nothing more, Tover instead rose off the couch to make his way to his own room. At the door he paused, looking back. If Cruz was disappointed in the way their evening terminated, he didn't show it. He simply raised his hand in a gesture of peace. “Sleep well.”

Tover made his way back to his studio, heart pounding, racing in fact with delirious joy. Could he truly be so weak as to fall for Cruz's charms that fast?

At breakfast, Cruz started the conversation with Tover and his family on a neutral topic, but it wasn't long before his mother asked about the famed Zoya Verishnikov and their upcoming report. Cruz told them it would air the first day the CTASA council was back in session.

“The timing is essential,” Cruz told them. “This way they can't ignore the issue. Not when it is picked up by every single newscast in the CTASA colonies. Whatever was on the agenda for that first week of sessions will be changed in light of the scandal. Politicians will take notice, and Harmony will be on the defensive.”

Tover scowled at his food but said nothing. Regardless of the sad fate of Carida, he still couldn't believe the company which had, for all practical purposes, raised him, would be so evil.

“What do you think they'll do?” Ana asked Cruz.

“Deny it, of course.” Cruz shrugged. “And once the evidence is vetted, they'll blame some scapegoat. But the point is not to rely on Harmony to develop an alternative. The point is to get political with the issue, and have CTASA a player in the negotiations.”

“The rights are still Harmony's,” Ana said.

“We could change that,” Cruz said. “If we can make it an international ethical outrage. We can take that from them.”

Tover ground his teeth.

“What?” Cruz asked.

Tover glanced up. All the Arcadios watched him.

“I'm not going to say anything bad about Harmony. It's a company that has given me nothing but respect. They have made me who I am today.”

Cruz's eyes narrowed. “You mean a pawn for international trade?”

“That's what
you've
made me!” Tover shouted. His heart beat faster. “They know I'm a valuable part of Harmony's success, and they treat me well for it.”

“And if you didn't play along, how would they treat you?” Cruz asked. “Tover, they don't care about
you
. They care about what you are. You are a tool for exploiting. It has nothing to do with respect. Yes, you are valuable. You are worth billions. But they have made you into a commodity that everyone wants a piece of.”

“You're no different,” Tover said.

“You're right.
I
want you too. But not for what you can do. I want you because of who you are.”

Tover flushed and looked down at his plate. He stole a glance at Lourdes and Ana, but both seemed oblivious of the meaning behind the comment or else they didn't care.

Cruz continued. “The only difference between those men on Jarrow and Harmony is that Harmony corpexecs pay you before they rape you.”

Fury rushed through Tover and he shoved his plate away. “Fuck you,” Tover spat. “I don't have to sit here and listen to your deluded conspiracy theories.”

“Cruz, shut up now,” Lourdes warned.

“You've got a gilded cage, Tover,” Cruz said.

“You don't know anything about it! I choose where I live, what I do, who I see—”

“Could you ever openly be with me?” Cruz asked calmly.

Tover pinched his eyes. “No, but—”

“What if you didn't want to work on DK Station anymore? Could you leave?”

“There are other posts I could take,” Tover said. “I could have chosen any Harmony port.”

“You chose DK Station?” Ana asked, getting involved in the conversation. She looked calm as well. Only Lourdes seemed as offended by the topic as Tover.

“It was the most prestigious post,” Tover told Ana.

“And you could leave at any time?” she asked.

“I have contracts,” Tover explained. “I can't simply walk out, but when my contract is over, I'm a free man.”

“And when is that?” Cruz asked. It infuriated Tover, how calm Cruz and Ana were.

“I don't fucking know!” Tover shouted. “I haven't read the paperwork in a long time, because I don't
care
. I like what I do.” He paused. He
used
to like what he did. But now he couldn't make an orbifold to jump across the room. What did that mean for his contract?

“I'm not trying to make you upset,” Cruz said quietly. He stared unwaveringly. “I'm only asking you if you ever had a choice in what you're doing. I know they didn't ask you what you wanted when you were conscripted as a little boy. They didn't ask permission when they performed surgery on you. They didn't ask you if you wanted to be an artist or a scientist or any other profession when they put you through navigational training. And when you graduated, they gave you a choice of what…three or four positions? At any point, in your entire history with Harmony, were you given an opportunity to say no?”

“I never needed one,” Tover reiterated, but as he considered it, there was some truth in what Cruz said. He thought back on the children he had known at the training academy who had flunked out. They left the academy and were never heard from again. Were they encouraged into other fields? Did they become navigational assistants or pulse-technology developers? Tover was curious.

But he didn't say this out loud. Cruz, his sister and his mother all watched him, their silent sympathy infuriating. He didn't want their pity for his life in Harmony; he wanted their guilt for his life afterward. He'd been perfectly happy before Cruz had come along and ruined everything.

But is that really true?
A voice nagged in his head. Sitting in his aviary, yes, he had known a sense of peace. But the monotony, the loneliness, the confinement on that station…

“No.” Tover stood and shook his head. “You can't convince me that my life has been something it isn't. I was the best at something, and I did my job with pride until you came along.” His voice broke. “I won't let you make me believe it was worthless.”

Cruz stood as well. He touched Tover's shoulder. “I'm not saying that at all. Of
course
you should have pride in your accomplishments. What you do is phenomenal, and that is part of who you are. I'm asking you to question what you've been told by those you trust. If you still think Harmony has never been anything but a gracious employer, that's your right. But don't agree to it until you've fully thought out the question.”

Tover left the kitchen and made his way back to his room. He sat on his bed and tried to form an orbifold. He could sustain one briefly, but it collapsed quickly and he was too tired to try it again. He preferred sleeping instead.

He dreamed of Cherko, kicking his broken legs. Terror bolted through him and he shot up in bed, gasping for breath. He felt light-headed with throat-closing panic as he struggled to breathe. He fumbled on the bed, looking for his mouth clip, which had been jarred loose as he'd thrashed in his sleep. His hands trembled by the time he got the respirator back into place. He took deep, shaky breaths, blinking at the blurry green world beyond his window.

He hated the respirator. No wonder the Caridans were so opposed to having to wear them to live on their own planet.

Ana knocked on his door softly and asked if he wanted to go back to the ruby hornbill valley with her. Cruz had appointments with los jefes all day, so she volunteered to take him, along with Feo and Lalo, both of whom seemed more excited about Ana's picnic lunch than the prospect of the view.

Tover agreed, grateful for the opportunity to revel in something truly beautiful and free. In the valley he noted the flight patterns, color variations and nesting habits of the rubies. Ana, Feo and Lalo sat on the ledge overlooking the valley, chatting quietly as they ate. Afterward, Ana came over and joined Tover. She tried to stay interested, but her conversation quickly wandered away from birds and to some guy she met the day before, her leaking roof, her own aspirations for the future if Carida should fail, what she was going to cook for dinner. Tover tuned her out as well, although he liked the steady rhythm of her conversation. He didn't feel lonely when she was around, even if he didn't really care what she discussed.

They spent several hours there, and when he finished his notes, Tover found Ana asleep, hunched against a large rock. He shook her awake, and she stretched and smiled at him.

“You okay?” she asked.

Tover nodded. “Great day. Love these birds.”

Ana laughed. She hugged Tover.

Embarrassment and awkwardness filled Tover. He wasn't used to showing affection with women. But Ana's hug was simple, and he squeezed her back.