Sookie Stackhouse 8-copy Boxed Set (18 page)

Jason had been right. It was my house, now. The house and the twenty acres surrounding it were mine, as were the mineral rights. Gran’s money, what there was, had been divided fairly between us, and Gran had stipulated that I give Jason my half of the home our parents had lived in, if I wanted to retain full rights to her house. That was easy to do, and I didn’t want any money from Jason for that half, though my lawyer looked dubious when I told him that. Jason would just blow his top if I mentioned paying me for my half; the fact that I was part-owner had never been more than a fantasy to him. Yet Gran leaving her house to me outright had come as a big shock. She had understood him better than I had.

It was lucky I had income other than from the bar, I thought heavily, trying to concentrate on something besides her loss. Paying taxes on the land and house, plus the upkeep of the house, which Gran had assumed at least partially, would really stretch my income.

“I guess you’ll want to move,” Maxine Fortenberry said when she was cleaning the kitchen. Maxine had brought over devilled eggs and ham salad, and she was trying to be extra helpful by scrubbing.

“No,” I said, surprised.

“But honey, with it happening right here . . .” Maxine’s heavy face creased with concern.

“I have far more good memories of this kitchen than bad ones,” I explained.

“Oh, what a good way to look at it,” she said, surprised. “Sookie, you really are smarter than anyone gives you credit for being.”

“Gosh, thanks, Mrs. Fortenberry,” I said, and if she heard the dry tone in my voice she didn’t react. Maybe that was wise.

“Is your friend coming to the funeral?” The kitchen was very warm. Bulky, square Maxine was blotting her face with a dishtowel. The spot where Gran had fallen had been scrubbed by her friends, God bless them.

“My friend. Oh, Bill? No, he can’t.”

She looked at me blankly.

“We’re having it in the daytime, of course.”

She still didn’t comprehend.

“He can’t come out.”

“Oh, of course!” She gave herself a light tap on the temple to indicate she was knocking sense into her head. “Silly me. Would he really fry?”

“Well, he says he would.”

“You know, I’m so glad he gave that talk at the club, that has really made such a difference in making him part of the community.”

I nodded, abstracted.

“There’s really a lot of feeling about the murders, Sookie. There’s really a lot of talk about vampires, about how they’re responsible for these deaths.”

I looked at her with narrowed eyes.

“Don’t you go all mad on me, Sookie Stackhouse! Since Bill was so sweet about telling those fascinating stories at the Descendants meeting, most people don’t think he could do those awful things that were done to those women.” I wondered what stories were making the rounds, and I shuddered to think. “But he’s had some visitors that people didn’t much like the looks of.”

I wondered if she meant Malcolm, Liam, and Diane. I hadn’t much liked their looks either, and I resisted the automatic impulse to defend them.

“Vampires are just as different among themselves as humans are,” I said.

“That’s what I told Andy Bellefleur,” she said, nodding vehemently. “I said to Andy, you should go after some of those others, the ones that don’t want to learn how to live with us, not like Bill Compton, who’s really making an effort to settle in. He was telling me at the funeral home that he’d gotten his kitchen finished, finally.”

I could only stare at her. I tried to think of what Bill might make in his kitchen. Why would he need one?

But none of the distractions worked, and finally I just realized that for a while I was going to be crying every whip-stitch. And I did.

At the funeral Jason stood beside me, apparently over his surge of anger at me, apparently back in his right mind. He didn’t touch me or talk to me, but he didn’t hit me, either. I felt very alone. But then I realized as I looked out over the hillside that the whole town was grieving with me. There were cars as far as I could see on the narrow drives through the cemetery, there were hundreds of dark-clad folks around the funeral-home tent. Sam was there in a suit (looking quite unlike himself), and Arlene, standing by Rene, was wearing a flowered Sunday dress. Lafayette stood at the very back of the crowd, along with Terry Bellefleur and Charlsie Tooten; the bar must be closed! And all Gran’s friends, all, the ones who could still walk. Mr. Norris wept openly, a snowy white handkerchief held up to his eyes. Maxine’s heavy face was set in graven lines of sadness. While the minister said what he had to, while Jason and I sat alone in family area in the uneven folding chairs, I felt something in me detach and fly up, up into the blue brilliance: and I knew that whatever had happened to my grandmother, now she was at home.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, thank God. I didn’t want to remember it, didn’t want to even know it was happening. But one moment stood out.

Jason and I were standing by the dining room table in Gran’s house, some temporary truce between us. We greeted the mourners, most of whom did their best not to stare at the bruise on my cheek.

We glided through it, Jason thinking that he would go home and have a drink after, and he wouldn’t have to see me for a while and then it would be all right, and me thinking almost exactly the same thing. Except for the drink.

A well-meaning woman came up to us, the sort of woman who has thought over every ramification of a situation that was none of her business to start with.

“I am so sorry for you kids,” she said, and I looked at her; for the life of me I couldn’t remember her name. She was a Methodist. She had three grown children. But her name ran right out the other side of my head.

“You know it was so sad seeing you two there alone today, it made me remember your mother and father so much,” she said, her face creasing into a mask of sympathy that I knew was automatic. I glanced at Jason, looked back to the woman, nodded.

“Yes,” I said. But I heard her thought before she spoke, and I began to blanch.

“But where was Adele’s brother today, your great uncle? Surely he’s still living?”

“We’re not in touch,” I said, and my tone would have discouraged anyone more sensitive than this lady.

“But her only brother! Surely you . . .” and her voice died away as our combined stare finally sank home.

Several other people had commented briefly on our Uncle Bartlett’s absence, but we had given the “this is family business” signals that cut them right off. This woman—what was her name?—just hadn’t been as quick to read them. She’d brought a taco salad, and I planned to throw it right into the garbage when she’d left.

“We do have to tell him,” Jason said quietly after she left. I put my guard up; I had no desire to know what he was thinking.

“You call him,” I said.

“All right.”

And that was all we said to each other for the rest of the day.

I
STAYED AT home for three days after the funeral. It was too long; I needed to go back to work. But I kept thinking of things I just had to do, or so I told myself. I cleaned out Gran’s room. Arlene happened to drop by, and I asked her for help, because I just couldn’t be in there alone with my grandmother’s things, all so familiar and imbued with her personal odor of Johnson’s baby powder and Campho-Phenique.

So my friend Arlene helped me pack everything up to take to the disaster relief agency. There’d been tornadoes in northern Arkansas the past few days, and surely some person who had lost everything could use all the clothes. Gran had been smaller and thinner than I, and besides that her tastes were very different, so I wanted nothing of hers except the jewelry. She’d never worn much, but what she wore was real and precious to me.

It was amazing what Gran had managed to pack into her room. I didn’t even want to think about what she’d stored in the attic: that would be dealt with later, in the fall, when the attic was bearably cool and I’d time to think.

I probably threw away more than I should have, but it made me feel efficient and strong to be doing this, and I did a drastic job of it. Arlene folded and packed, only putting aside papers and photographs, letters and bills and cancelled checks. My grandmother had never used a credit card in her life and never bought anything on time, God bless her, which made the winding-up much easier.

Arlene asked about Gran’s car. It was five years old and had very little mileage. “Will you sell yours and keep hers?” she asked. “Yours is newer, but it’s small.”

“I hadn’t thought,” I said. And I found I couldn’t think of it, that cleaning out the bedroom was the extent of what I could do that day.

At the end of the afternoon, the bedroom was empty of Gran. Arlene and I turned the mattress and I remade the bed out of habit. It was an old four-poster in the rice pattern. I had always thought her bedroom set was beautiful, and it occurred to me that now it was mine. I could move into the bigger bedroom and have a private bath instead of using the one in the hall.

Suddenly, that was exactly what I wanted to do. The furniture I’d been using in my bedroom had been moved over here from my parents’ house when they’d died, and it was kid’s furniture; overly feminine, sort of reminiscent of Barbies and sleepovers.

Not that I’d ever had many sleepovers, or been to many.

Nope, nope, nope, I wasn’t going to fall into that old pit. I was what I was, and I had a life, and I could enjoy things; the little treats that kept me going.

“I might move in here,” I told Arlene as she taped a box shut.

“Isn’t that a little soon?” she asked. She flushed red when she realized she’d sounded critical.

“It would be easier to be in here than be across the hall thinking about the room being empty,” I said. Arlene thought that through, crouched beside the cardboard box with the roll of tape in her hand.

“I can see that,” she agreed, with a nod of her flaming red head.

We loaded the cardboard boxes into Arlene’s car. She had kindly agreed to drop them by the collection center on her way home, and I gratefully accepted the offer. I didn’t want anyone to look at me knowingly, with pity, when I gave away my grandmother’s clothes and shoes and nightgowns.

When Arlene left, I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she stared at me. That was outside the bounds our friendship had had up till now. She bent her head to mine and we very gently bumped foreheads.

“You crazy girl,” she said, affection in her voice. “You come see us, now. Lisa’s been wanting you to baby-sit again.”

“You tell her Aunt Sookie said hi to her, and to Coby, too.”

“I will.” And Arlene sauntered off to her car, her flaming hair puffing in a waving mass above her head, her full body making her waitress outfit look like one big promise.

All my energy drained away as Arlene’s car bumped down the driveway through the trees. I felt a million years old, alone and lonely. This was the way it was going to be from now on.

I didn’t feel hungry, but the clock told me it was time to eat. I went into the kitchen and pulled one of the many Tupperware containers from the refrigerator. It held turkey and grape salad, and I liked it, but I sat there at the table just picking at it with a fork. I gave up, returning it to the icebox and going to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. The corners of closets are always dusty, and even a housekeeper as good as my grandmother had been had not been able to defeat that dust.

The shower felt wonderful. The hot water seemed to steam out some of my misery, and I shampooed my hair and scrubbed every inch of skin, shaving my legs and armpits. After I climbed out, I plucked my eyebrows and put on skin lotion and deodorant and a spray to untangle my hair and anything else I could lay my hands on. With my hair trailing down my back in a cascade of wet snarls, I pulled on my nightshirt, a white one with Tweety Bird on the front, and I got my comb. I’d sit in front of the television to have something to watch while I got my hair combed out, always a tedious process.

My little burst of purpose expired, and I felt almost numb.

The doorbell rang just as I was trailing into the living room with my comb in one hand and a towel in the other.

I looked through the peephole. Bill was waiting patiently on the porch.

I let him in without feeling either glad or sorry to see him.

He took me in with some surprise: the nightshirt, the wet hair, the bare feet. No makeup.

“Come in,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

And he came in, looking around him as he always did. “What are you doing?” he asked, seeing the pile of things I’d put to one side because I thought friends of Gran’s might want them: Mr. Norris might be pleased to get the framed picture of his mother and Gran’s mother together, for example.

“I cleaned out the bedroom today,” I said. “I think I’ll move into it.” Then I couldn’t think of anything else to say. He turned to look at me carefully.

“Let me comb out your hair,” he said.

I nodded indifferently. Bill sat on the flowered couch and indicated the old ottoman positioned in front of it. I sat down obediently, and he scooted forward a little, framing me with his thighs. Starting at the crown of my head, he began teasing the tangles out of my hair.

As always, his mental silence was a treat. Each time, it was like putting the first foot into a cool pool of water when I’d been on a long, dusty hike on a hot day.

As a bonus, Bill’s long fingers seemed adept at dealing with the thick mane of my hair. I sat with my eyes closed, gradually becoming tranquil. I could feel the slight movements of his body behind me as he worked with the comb. I could almost hear his heart beating, I thought, and then realized how strange an idea that was. His heart, after all, didn’t.