Sorcerer (3 page)

Jeff was bristling with anger as he made for the door but then Hayward stopped him.

‘How are things, Jeff?’ he asked. ‘On a personal basis I mean? I know it’s getting on for a year since Lillie Mae died. I just wondered how you and little Toby were doing?’

‘We’ll get there, sir’ Jeff answered, unsure of where this was going. Why the sudden, deliberate shift to the personal? ‘It isn’t easy but we’ll get there’.

‘You must miss Lillie Mae very much’.

‘Well of course I do, sir’ said Jeff. What a stupid fucking question that was. ‘There’s a part of me that always will’.

‘I’m sure you’ll find happiness again, Jeff’.

‘Well that’s as may be, sir, but my priority at the moment is to make sure Toby feels secure and isn’t scared that I’m going to suddenly leave his life like his Mum did’.

‘I’m sure you’re doing a great job of that’ said Hayward. ‘Although it isn’t easy for us men to take over the nurturing, emotional role with children that women are so good at’.

‘Oh I disagree, sir’ said Jeff, firmly. He was highly sensitive to the still widely accepted view that women cope better as single parents than men do. ‘You just have to man up and use some emotional intelligence. That’s all it requires’.

SORCERER THREE

Jenny Lake was preparing a chilli with jacket potatoes and salad for dinner when her husband Ed came in. 

‘You’ll stir a hole into the bottom of that pan’ said Ed as he watched Jenny staring into the pot of chilli like it contained some kind of secret.

‘What?’

‘You looked like you were miles away’.

‘I was’. She looked at him. He seemed restless. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

‘I’ve just been talking to the police’ said Ed. He sat down at the table and rubbed his face in his hands. ‘They came down to the sorting office just after I’d finished my round. They want to speak to George. They asked me all kinds of questions about him’.

‘And what did you tell them about your dear old step-father?’

‘I answered their questions’ said Ed, even though he hadn’t told the police anything that he really should tell them. ‘They will want to speak to you too. They’ll probably try and contact you tomorrow’.

‘I don’t know what I can tell them about anything’.

‘I’m sure you’ll think of something’.

‘Ed, are you ever going to tell me what all the animosity is about between you and George? I mean, you and I have been married twenty years and it’s always been the same’

‘I wouldn’t call it animosity’ said Ed. ‘I’d call it pure hatred’.

‘Somebody called Ronnie Wiseman is accusing him of all sorts of horrible things’ said Jenny. ‘It’s probably only for attention. His sort are like that’.

‘And what would you know about his sort, Jenny?’

‘You’ve only got to look at the picture of him in the paper’.

‘And from that you know all about him and his life, do you?’

‘No, but I know George and I know that he would never be capable of doing the kind of dreadful things that Ronnie Wiseman has accused him of’.

‘Then you carry on thinking you know it all because believe me Jenny, you know absolutely nothing’.

‘Then you tell me, Ed’.

‘I can’t be bothered’.

‘You never can be, Ed. That’s the trouble’.

Jenny dished up and placed the dinner down on the table. They’d lived in the same semi-detached in Chorlton since Gabby was a baby but over the years Ed had used up all the equity for loans secured on the property. Ed was adopting his usual head-in-the-sand attitude towards the latest financial crisis involving paying for Gabby’s wedding. But Jenny knew that they had to get real about it. Their only option was to ask Ed’s mother for the money to pay for Gabby’s wedding and she would have to make Ed see that. He’d have to swallow his pride for the sake of their daughter. Jenny didn’t know what to think anymore. They were both young. They’d kept their looks and their shape, although that was easier for Ed considering all the walking he had to do in his job as a postman. They’d both turned forty last year and celebrated with a holiday in Turkey that had made a lasting impression on their credit cards in as much as they still hadn’t made much of a dint in paying them off. But they’d had a good time. They’d actually laughed on that holiday for the first time in years and Jenny had been reminded why she’d fallen in love with Ed in the first place. She still had a strong physical attraction for him. But the rest of the relationship was like being in the wilderness without Jesus.      

‘Ed, we need to talk’ said Jenny.

‘I don’t want to talk about George’.

‘Not about him. I want to talk about us. I want to talk about the state of our marriage, Ed’.

Ed looked up to the heavens. ‘Ah, not this again. Every morning I get up at four o’clock to go and earn a crust and every evening I have this crap to deal with in one form or another and I’m getting just a little bit sick and tired of it. Am I not under enough pressure? I really could do without this’.

‘Ed, are you happy to carry on like this for the rest of our lives?’

‘Sounds like you’re not’ he answered.

‘Well can you blame me? Ed, we’re old before our time’

‘Sorry. I didn’t realize I’d screwed your life up to that extent’.

‘Oh don’t be like that’.

‘Like what? You’re the one who’s saying how unhappy you are’.

‘Only because I’m the only one who’s got the guts to face up to anything!’

‘Well don’t mince your words to save my feelings. I wouldn’t want you to do that’.

‘We need to sort ourselves out, Ed’ said Jenny. ‘I’m exhausted with it all’.

‘Well won’t this make for a happy family atmosphere at Gabby’s wedding? We get to trash the happiest day of her life by telling her that her parents are filing for divorce’.

‘Was it the happiest day of your life when we got married, Ed?’

‘What kind of a bloody question is that?’

‘One that I need an answer to!’

‘We had to get married’ said Ed, flatly. ‘You were pregnant with our Gabby’.

‘Oh well he finally speaks the truth!’

‘Jenny, I didn’t mean what you think I meant’.

‘Then what did you mean? Oh don’t bother because I’m not interested anymore’.

‘So divorce is what you want?’

‘Yes, no, I don’t know. Let’s eat and we can talk later’.   

Dinner was eaten in almost complete silence except for the sound of heavy rain falling outside. Ed was thinking about George and the police enquiry that had opened up. He opened a bottle of red wine. Jenny had one glass and Ed drank the rest. Once he’d finished playing about with his food he stood up and took his plate over to the sink.

‘Not taking mine as well then?’ Jenny asked irritably. Ed had a habit of clearing away his own dishes and leaving hers. It drove her crazy.

‘I didn’t know … I didn’t know if you’d finished or not’.

‘Try asking me next time!’ she snapped. ‘It’s called conversation’.

Ed leaned forward against the kitchen sink. ‘Look, I’m sorry’.

‘You’re sorry?’ Jenny snarled. ‘Don’t bloody well insult me’.

‘Well what do you expect me to say?’

‘Something that might make me believe in you, Ed’ said Jenny. ‘Something that might make me believe in this sham of a marriage’.

‘It’s not a sham!’

‘Try and say that from where I’m standing! We haven’t done anything but argue for months. You never touch me or come anywhere near me and when we do have sex you’re so unenthusiastic I feel like I’m raping you’.

‘Don’t be so bloody ridiculous’.

‘I’m only forty-one, Ed. So are you. We’re both young enough to start again’.

‘You don’t mess around when there’s a husband to be kicked in the bollocks’.

‘Don’t you even try and make this my fault! I’ve done everything I can and more to hold this marriage together’.

‘I don’t know what to say, Jenny’.

‘I loved you, Ed’ Jenny declared tearfully. ‘I loved you with everything I had and I’ve paid a high price for it’.

‘What about Gabby?’

‘And the wedding we can’t pay for? I’ll be ringing your mother about that’.

‘You will not ring my mother!’

‘Ed, your mother is the only one in this family who can pay for Gabby’s wedding and I’m ringing her first thing in the morning’.

‘If you do it really will be the end of us’.

‘There is no us, Ed. I feel sorry for you. You’ve been so obsessed with hating your mother and step-father all these years that you’ve really lost it’.

‘You don’t know either of them like I do’.

‘But I know you and I know how difficult you are. Now can we agree to keep things cordial for Gabby’s wedding?’

‘I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Gabby, you know that’.

‘Yes, I know’ said Jenny. ‘But after the wedding are you going to put up a fight for me? Or has everything I’ve done to save this marriage over the years amounted to nothing?’

Jeff and Rebecca were on their way to interview Ronnie Wiseman.

‘It shouldn’t take us long to get there’ said Rebecca as she drove them out of the station and onto the main A56 Chester road heading south. Being mates with Jeff was enough of a staging post on the road to where she’d like to be with him. She sometimes wondered if he really didn’t see the silent lines of communication she was trying to open with him. If he did then was it women in general he was rejecting for the time being? Or was it her in particular? She spent so much time wondering what the answers were. ‘We’ll go straight round the M60 and into Stockport. Half an hour tops’.

‘Good’ said Jeff who was still weighing up what the chief superintendent had said to him. Did he really think that Jeff wouldn’t see through it all? The chief was bent. He knew that now but to what degree?

‘It’s getting on for four o’clock’ said Rebecca. ‘Who’s picking Toby up from school?’

‘My brother Lewis’ Jeff replied. ‘He’s taking him back to mine and he’ll give him his tea there and sort him out with a bath and then bed if I’m not back in time’.

‘You’re lucky to have him’ said Rebecca.

‘You can say that again. My kid brother and his partner are worth their weight in gold to me and Toby’.

‘Jeff, forgive me if I’m prying but do you really think your parents don’t have much involvement with you and Toby because Lillie Mae was Chinese?’

Jeff sometimes regretted getting pissed one night and telling Becky all about his family problems. It didn’t always do to mix business with pleasure even though Becky had become a good friend as well as a good deputy and colleague.

‘Becky, my parents have always had some pretty disturbing views on race. They were dead against my marriage to Lillie Mae right from the get go and they never gave her a chance even though as you knew she was one of the loveliest people you could ever meet’.

‘She was’ said Becky, smiling.

‘Mum and Dad have never said so directly but I think their actions speak louder than any words could’.

‘How do you mean?’

‘Well they’re always going down to my sister who lives over two hundred miles away in Bracknell to help her with the care of her kids and she’s not even a single parent. In fact she and my brother-in-law work alternate shifts so that there’s always one of them at home to take care of the kids. My sister of course is white and my brother-in-law is white. Now I’m only five miles away from where they live and they never darken my door despite the circumstances I’m in as a single parent balancing raising Toby with a pretty demanding job. You work it out’.

‘But Toby is their grandson and he’s lost his Mum. You’re their son and you lost your wife at such a young age. You both need them’.

‘None of that seems to matter to them, Becky’.

‘It must hurt?’

‘Well I bother more for Toby than myself’ said Jeff who was speaking only a half truth. His parents’ lack of support did hurt him deeply. He felt very let down. ‘But he sees Lillie Mae’s Mum and Dad a lot so he’s not missing out on the whole grandparent thing altogether and beyond that I really don’t have the time to dwell on it too much’. Except when it’s late at night after Toby has gone to bed and he’s sat there watching TV with a bottle of beer. That’s when it can really get to him. ‘I have to concentrate on the day to day and Toby’s welfare, happiness and well being will always come first’.

Becky smiled and made a mental note that she may have to wait longer than she thought to have a chance with Jeff. He clearly wasn’t ready to find the space in his life for another relationship yet but she understood his reasons completely. Of course Toby had to come first and she wouldn’t think much of Jeff if that wasn’t the case. She just hoped that when Jeff was ready she would be there and he would understand what she’d been trying to say to him all this time.