Sordid (15 page)

Tap.

Buzz.

Pleasure.

I was writhing on the bed and out of my mind. I couldn’t do three more hours of this. Hell, I couldn’t do three more minutes of it.

“Monday,” I said breathlessly, “I have molecular biology lecture at ten thirty.” I started to blurt out more of my schedule—

“Stop.” Luka thumbed at his phone, typing furiously. “Okay, keep going.”

I rattled off the rest of the week as he put it in his phone, and although I had no idea why, I also didn’t ask. All that mattered was the end goal. When I finished giving him my Friday itinerary, Luka climbed to his feet and moved swiftly toward the bed. He stabbed the phone with a finger and dropped it on the mattress between my knees, and the pulsing went into overdrive.

Giving him my schedule was surrender, but I was glad. The vibrator was pure ecstasy, and I gasped as Luka threw open my shirt, exposing my bare breasts to his hands. His fingers plucked and teased while he watched me squirm.

My moan was soaked with bliss. I should feel shame, but I didn’t. I knew I shouldn’t allow myself to come, but he’d tied me to the bed. I was powerless to stop him, and it was a kind of freedom. Luka took a knee beside the bed, and closed his mouth around my pert nipple just as his hand pressed the vibrator tight against me.

“Fuck,” I gasped and tipped over the edge. I fell overboard into the sensations and cried out. I convulsed as the waves of pleasure rocked my body, each shockwave acute. Falling apart in front of him made me feel frayed and exposed, but sexy, too. He watched me as the climax rolled through my body, and his eyes were hooded.

Seeing me come apart appeared to please him a great deal. His expression was the perfect juxtaposition of hard and soft. The muscle along Luka’s jawline flexed as he held his jaw tight, but his eyes were warm.

The phone was retrieved and the vibrating stopped, but this time I was grateful. It was too much now that I’d come. I swallowed a lump in my throat and peered up at him, unsure what to think or how to feel. The tingling of the orgasm was still floating in my body.

He was blur of activity.

Luka’s fingers flew to the knot at my wrist, hurrying to undo it. First one, then the other, and when I was finally free, he scooped his hands beneath me and drew me up to a sitting position. I didn’t get a moment to catch my breath. His lips followed the descent of the shirt collar, and his hot mouth on my neck gave me shivers.

Only, not with fear, but with enjoyment.

Too much was swirling in my head. His harsh, angry actions earlier. The bathtub. And now pleasure. I was adrift with nothing to cling to.

I sat still and let him taste me. His lips dropped kisses along my collarbone and up the side of my throat, and there he used a hint of teeth, which made me tremble. When he finally reached my lips, I sighed. With relief? I was needy and so fucked up.

“Goddamnit,” he muttered against my lips. “Fucking kiss me.”

I didn’t argue, I followed his command. It wasn’t a sacrifice since deep down it was what I wanted, too, but was too afraid to admit. His order allowed me to give in and pretend it was against my will.

The kiss exploded.

Our lips collided and the temperature in the room climbed a thousand degrees in an instant. His damp lips were urgent and fit perfectly to mine, insisting I match his intensity. I did, and then some. Two years of longing colored the kiss. Desire for the man he wasn’t really, but it didn’t change the tidal wave of emotion that swept through me.

I cradled his face in my hands and held on as I both delivered my kiss and endured his hot, dominating mouth. Luka would consume me until there was nothing left, I was sure of it. The fire between us burned too hot to last, but I’d do my best to hold my ground until the bitter end.

His hands clenched tight on my waist and pulled me up, off of the bed. As soon as I had my footing, he pushed me down, just as he had before. My knees thudded to the carpet, and I stared up at him, stunned. He’d been kissing me like I was the only thing keeping him alive a second ago. Now his expression was stern.

Had my response to him somehow pushed him too far? I’d done exactly as he’d asked, and yet he looked displeased. The hard look in his eyes grew, and I worried punishment was imminent. My blood went cold as he undid his belt and tugged it free of the belt loops in one swift action.

“No, no,” I said, scrambling back on my knees. He was going to beat me with the belt, all because I had kissed him as he’d told me?

“Stop.” The word was powerful, but not mean, and his voice made me freeze. “This is about trust, Addison.”

Anxiety tightened my muscles painfully, making escape almost impossible. I knelt with my knees buried on the carpet and watched him slide the end of the belt through the buckle, creating a loop. There was no air to breathe when he placed the loop over my head, positioned the buckle at the base of my neck, and tugged gently on the end. It cinched the belt tight, collaring me.

“No,” I pleaded on a broken breath. Not that it mattered. He’d been clear my desires were irrelevant.

“I get pleasure,” he said, firm, “or you get choked.” The belt tightened just a fraction of a degree, making sure I was aware of his control. “Repeat it.”

Oh, shit. How? I couldn’t think once the leather had descended on me. “You . . . get pleasure,” I whispered, struggling. “Or I get choked.”

He jerked his hold and the belt became so tight I could feel it restricting my airflow. “Again,” he said. “Louder.”

It was uncomfortable as the leather strangled me, and humiliating kneeling before him, so I blurted it out quickly. “You get pleasure or I get choked.”

The hand not holding the belt moved to undo his fly, and it was down a half-second later. “Hands behind your back. Open your perfect mouth.”

It made more sense now. He was about to be vulnerable. I’d allowed him to put the belt on me, and he was trusting I wouldn’t use teeth.

I’d touched him last night, but I hadn’t been up close with Luka’s anatomy before. He was already hard. Watching me come must have turned him on, or perhaps it was the image of me kneeling at his feet with his belt restraining me. The head of his dick was fat, and the shaft long and thick. A vein protruded, and in spite of how terrifying it was to have the makeshift leash on me, I stared, intrigued.

He
wanted
me to take him inside my mouth. I’d gone down on another guy before. It’d been sloppy and fumbling, and over in less than five minutes. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like with Luka. Maybe his directions would make the experience somewhat enjoyable, and I wouldn’t spend the whole time wondering what the hell I was doing.

What would he taste like?

Would he let me trace the tip of my tongue along that vein?

I crossed my wrists behind my back, licked my lips, and parted them, hating myself for wanting this. I hated myself for wanting to please him after he’d fucked me until I was sore. He’d fucked me as I’d asked him to stop. What the hell was wrong with me?

His fingertips traced a line on my temple, pushing my hair out of the way, and they trailed down to curl under my chin. I welcomed him inside my greedy mouth, sucking on the fleshy head of his cock. It elicited a sigh from him, one which was coated in pleasure.

Unexpected heat blasted down my spine.

I inched further along on his hard dick, licking and sucking, and I reveled in the noises of satisfaction he made. How was it possible I felt power on my knees, with his belt wrapped tight on my neck? Was it his vulnerability? I could cause him extreme pain, but the belt was a strong deterrent, and . . . I sort of enjoyed it. I wasn’t in control, but I wasn’t powerless either. I felt more like a partner than a victim.

His skin was so soft, silk wrapped around stone. The deep, shuddering breaths he took fed into my satisfaction. Luka fisted his hand in my hair, tugging painfully at the strands as he guided me to take him deeper and faster.

I’d lost my virginity to Luka, and now I was blowing him with a belt wrapped around my throat. Somewhere along the way, I’d lost control of myself. He’d taken over, and part of me didn’t care. I was even a little thrilled to shed the conformity of my good girl status. I could be a slut.

I could be
whatever
I wanted beneath him.

Fuck, I liked my lips on him. I swirled my tongue and he jerked, growing harder inside my mouth.

“Shit, yes,” he moaned. “Suck that cock.”

I did.

I kept my hands locked behind my back, but I increased my speed. He was too big to take completely in my mouth, but I skirted the edge of my gag reflex and pushed as deep as possible. The tip of him bumped the back of my throat.

What would happen if I used teeth? The belt around my neck was like a challenge, and since I no longer felt like myself, I wanted to push. He’d proven in the bathtub he had plenty of darkness, and he’d make good on his threat, I was sure.

But I wanted to know what his absolute domination felt like.

There was a sharp hiss from him as I gave him a hint of what I was about to do, dragging the edge of my teeth over his skin. Up to the tip, and then as he plunged back inside, I let my bite go razor sharp.

“Fuck.”

The belt constricted and made me a slave. I could barely breathe, and even though the control was exerted only where the leather looped on my neck, it blanketed every inch of my body. My pulse roared beneath the belt, pounding against it.

And then it went so tight, it was no longer a corrective action. This was the Luka from last night when he’d held my hands over my head and forced his way inside. The Luka from this morning who’d pushed me under the water, my need to breathe be damned.

I slapped my hands on his thighs, trying to get him to ease up, but instead he shoved his hand on my head, forcing his dick deep into my mouth.

I gagged loudly, but he didn’t relent. The belt was tight, so fucking tight. Behind closed eyelids, my eyes began to water. What did we look like? The dress shirt was down off my shoulders and bunched at my elbows. My hands were pressed against his knees, and my lips wrapped deep around his dick. Almost all the way to the base. Blood rushed loudly in my ears.

The harsh hand on the back of my head was gone. The belt loosened and I retreated all the way off, gasping for air.

“What the fuck was that?” His eyes were twin volcanoes of fury.

I wiped saliva from my bottom lip and stared up at him, not sure how to explain my actions, because they made no logical sense. My lips had lost some sensation so I mumbled it, my voice meek. “I wanted to know what it felt like.”

“To cut my dick with your teeth?” He wound the end of the belt around his fist, pulling it taut.

I yelped and shook my head quickly. “No.” I was so fucking stupid, I deserved his wrath. “I meant the belt.”

A shock visibly went up his spine and his expression emptied of anger. It went blank. He bent at the waist, grasped my cheeks between his fingers, squeezing my mouth together, and brought his nose right to mine. “You wanted to know what my belt felt like choking you out?”

Coming up with an answer was the scariest thing I’d ever faced. He’d said no lies, but confirming was like telling Luka I was okay with . . .
anything
.

“Yes,” I whispered.

He blinked, possibly evaluating me for deception. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” It was the most honest response I had.

When he released his grip on my face, he straightened and looked down his straight nose at me. The corner of his mouth lifted in his evil half-smile, and he shook his head, pleased surprise lighting his eyes. “You’re so fucking perfect. It’s like you exist only for me.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea.

He let go of the belt and the end dropped down between my breasts, and it hung loosely around my neck. It was so he could grab the bottom hem of his t-shirt and peel it up, revealing his chest. I watch with awe as he cast the shirt aside, and then pushed down the sides of his jeans and underwear.

Now he was more naked than I was. My gaze slid over his hips, up the subtle notches of his abdominals, and to the smooth, perfectly-shaped pecs. Luka wasn’t overinflated muscle. He was long and lean. Toned arms gave way to broad shoulders. He was in great physical shape, and the basic woman in me couldn’t help but appreciate his look.