Sordid (22 page)

Going slow was . . . strange.

I was hopelessly out of breath and trembling, unsure whether or not I could go on, but like everything else, I wanted to be good at this. A slow hiss crept out of Luka as I took another inch inside me. My hands gripped his arms ferociously. What did his hiss mean? Did he like it? My gaze connected with his, and time froze.

He’d said I stared at him like I wanted Luka to do bad things to me, and now I was seeing that same look from him. His eyes were filled with profane desire, and they were a loud plea for everything I could give.

“Fuuuuck
,” he uttered when I’d made it all the way down and he was fully seated inside my body. His expression twisted with lust, focused only on me. It was crazy how he made me feel. He acted like all of my inexperience was a benefit, not a drawback. He was eager to show me
more
.

My breasts flattened against his chest and he reached up, tucking a wayward lock of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips lingered, skimming down over my lips. When he lifted his head up to bring our mouths together, he began to move, pushing his dick deeper.

Oh. My. God.

His mouth was fire and passion. All of his kisses before had been a warm-up and this was the big show. He’d drugged me on Friday night, but his kiss this morning was far more potent. I moved my lips against his, seeking his tongue, and moaned when he took control. His hands on my waist encouraged me to rock back and forth.

The slow, deep penetration was shocking, not just in sensation, but in how much I enjoyed it. His dick was so hard, and it felt . . . good. The contact of his body both inside and against mine was much more pleasurable than I’d expected.

“Do you like this?” I asked him between two painstakingly slow thrusts.

He shot me a look like I’d asked a ridiculous question. “You feel fucking
amazing
.”

Maybe I needed to give up thinking altogether, since I couldn’t sort out my feelings. His praise made me consider a shy, bashful smile and I longed for the confidence he always held.

He moved cautiously. Each thrust was gentle and paced, and he seemed to scrutinize my reaction, watching for any sign from me to stop. Luka cared now? I could handle him being callous and mean, but this version of him? Not so much.

His slide in and out of me sent electricity dancing along my nerve endings, and I gripped his arms, holding on as the onslaught began. His mouth walked over my skin, finding the perfect spots to cause shivers, and his fingers dug into my hips, driving me down on him.

“Do
you
like this?” he said softly, teasing my words back at me.

Did I? He’d built to a steady rhythm and it pounded away the sensible voice in my head. I shoved my face into the side of his neck. He smelled wonderful, all woodsy and manly. I whispered it against his skin. “It feels good.”

Deep inside me his muscle flexed. My mouth rounded into an O.
That
felt really good.

We were naked, and not moving all that fast, but in no time we were both slick with sweat. Luka was a furnace, and his hot mouth had me dizzy. So hazy, I didn’t notice his hand curling the silver chain around his fist. The chain was slack as he set his metal-wrapped hand on the small of my back.

There was pressure on my neck, tugging me up. His control on the leash gently forced me to sit upright on him, and my eyes went wide with panic. I didn’t like the distance between us. When I’d been over him, I’d been too close for him to really look at me, but now he was easing me back and going to see all of it.

“Grind on me,” he said. He squeezed my waist, showing me exactly how he meant. I tentatively swiveled my hips, and he groaned. “Yeah, just like that.”

His dark brown hair was askew, and his expression was raw. Primal. His body, glossed with sweat, was corded with lean muscle. Perhaps having to sit upright wasn’t so bad. I was supposed to hate him, but I didn’t right now. I’d suspend my hate until this was over, and enjoy looking at him until then.

The choker kept getting tighter, though, and I leaned back, having no choice but to reach behind and put a hand on his knee for support. My back arched and I stared up at the ceiling. It presented my breasts to him, and his hand slid a line up my belly and chest, until his palm cupped a breast.

What did we look like? I was riding him with my head thrown back, the roots of my hair damp with sweat, and his arm flexing as he pulled the leash, arching me like a bow. I lifted myself up and down, pumping on him, and . . . hell. I felt so sexual, and it was undeniable how much I liked the feeling.

He used his fingers to tease my nipple, while beneath me he matched my frantic thrusts. His dick drove into me at a different angle. It created a new kind of ache and a dark craving my body whispered only he could satisfy. It was all building too fast to stop, not that I wanted to now.

I gasped and panted, desperate for more but not sure how to get it. My worry was unnecessary. He’d said I was an easy read, after all. Luka must have known. His hand on my breast trailed down over my curves, coursed over my belly, and touched me. His thumb rolled circles on my clit.

“Luka,” I moaned. The leather was constricting around my throat. His control was wrapped all around me, but it added to the experience. If I wasn’t in command, I couldn’t be held responsible. I was about to come, but it was only because he demanded it, I told myself. There wasn’t guilt or shame in doing what he said, because I was only trying to survive.

“Yeah?” he said in a hurried voice. “You like that?”

My eyes fell shut. Emotion and sensation overwhelmed me. “I do.”

The tempo increased, and the sharp, repeated slap of our bodies meeting filled the room. He was like a piston between my legs, and coupled with his devious thumb, I wouldn’t last much longer.

“Put your hand on your tit. Pinch that pretty pink nipple.”

His command sent a rush through me. I palmed my breast, and pinched the distended nipple between my thumb and index finger.

“Harder. Until it hurts.” His gaze was locked on my hand. “Do it like I would, if I wasn’t playing with your pussy right now.”

I quivered. He was so filthy and unapologetic. It sent a shockwave of pleasure up me, melting my thoughts. I clamped my fingers hard, obeying his order, and it made my breast feel heavy. The focused, localized pain was enjoyable, but his thumb . . .

I’d never come with something inside me before. A few times I’d fingered myself, but it hadn’t done anything for me, so I stuck to stimulation on the outside. This felt amazing, and I was sure my orgasm was going to be huge. My hand gripped his leg and he yanked hard on the collar. I was going to lose my mind. It felt too good with his hand stirring me.

“I’m gonna come inside your tight pussy and fill you up.”

His dirty words sent me over. I cried out at the crest of my ecstasy, and moaned the whole way down. The orgasm bloomed from deep inside and traveled outward in powerful waves, rendering me immobile. Every muscle in me locked down, trembling at the assault of bliss, and finally surrendering.

Luka moaned, louder than I heard from him before, and shuddered. I’d just finished recovering when he started to come. His groan of satisfaction was loud and punctuated with labored breath.

I gasped at the rhythmic jerks inside me, followed by heat. Even though my orgasm had dissipated, this felt nice. And his expression as he came was captivating. His dark eyes were closed and his lips parted, and a vein by his temple pulsed. He looked . . . peaceful. Were these few short seconds as he came the closest to happy Luka got?

He wrapped the chain around his fist once more, brought it in front of me, and jerked me forward, crashing his lips against mine. My head was a jumble of thoughts, but he kept them isolated and quiet while his mouth was on mine.

I was still trembling as he backed me off of him. His fingers went to the padlock at the top of my spine, and a few seconds later the leather band was pulled free from my throat. I exhaled in relief, and my newly exposed skin was cold in the fresh air. His lips traced where the collar had been.

“Wasn’t that better?” he asked on a low voice as he lingered at the base of my neck.

I turned my head to the side and pressed my ear against his chest. Of course it was better—I’d allowed it this time. Maybe even more, I’d sort of
wanted
it. I barely said the word. “Yeah.”

“Go take a shower.” His voice was unassuming and his hand brushed along my arm. “I’ll get you some clothes and then we’ll have breakfast.”

It was all so bizarre. What we’d just done, and how comfortable he seemed to be about it. I rolled off of him, and heat creeped up in my face, annoying me. We’d just had sex, and he’d made me come. Why the hell was I still so shy?

“Your father?” I asked like a timid mouse. Luka had been awful to me, but also sometimes verging on sweet, and it was Dimitrije I feared more than the man beside me.

“No, he’s hardly ever here. He stays with the whore. They left after dinner last night.”

Luka got out of bed and then helped me to my feet. My legs were weak and uncooperative, but I managed. He stayed true to his word. Luka watched me wobble toward the bathroom, but didn’t follow, choosing instead to get dressed. It didn’t take him long. Moments after I shut the bathroom door between us, I heard the bedroom door open and close as he left.

I was empty as I stood under the stream of water from the shower. Not numb, not angry, not scared, just . . . empty. I decided to think about nothing at all, rather than analyze the last two days and how I felt about it. I focused on the menial tasks.
Lather, rinse. Shut off the water. Dry your hair.

When I emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped beneath my arms, there were clothes laid out on the bed—a pair of jeans, undergarments, and a soft orange sweater. The boatneck top was older, but comfortable and flattering, and one of my favorite pieces. I dressed quickly and then eyed the doorknob.

Did he trust me somewhat, or would I find the door locked when I tried to open it? I held my breath, grasped the brass handle, and turned. Luka waited in the hall and seemed pleased to see me. He noticed the surprised expression I had, but said nothing, and nodded toward the stairs.

Every step I took beside him without running inched us closer to some sort of understanding. I sat across from him at the table in the kitchen that was once again set for us with a full spread. A lifetime had passed since the last time we’d been here.

“After breakfast,” he said, pouring me a cup of coffee, “I assume you have stuff you want to work on. Homework or whatever.”

I almost fell out of my chair. “I’m going to class tomorrow?”

His eyes clouded. “I didn’t say that.”

I made a face. “Well, what’s the point of doing it if—”

“Tell me you don’t want to do your homework.” His expression was direct. “Regardless of whether you have class. Tell me it won’t eat at you to leave it unfinished.”

I set my coffee down with force.
Damn him
. “Yeah, okay, it’ll make me crazy not to do it, but why does it matter?”

“Just do it, Addison,” he grumbled and turned to look out the picture window at the bright, sunny day. He frowned. His gaze turned back to me and hardened. “If it matters to you, it matters to me.”

He was so confusing, but I could tell there wasn’t anything else informative coming from him, and I couldn’t keep pushing. We ate as the conversation went silent, and the only sound was the scrape of silverware against china. It was tense, but not uncomfortable. I had a hard time starting a conversation and didn’t mind the quiet, and Luka seemed to be the same.

When we finished our meal, his gaze settled on me and his head cocked to one side.

“What?” I asked.

The corner of his mouth hinted a smile. “I like this on you.”

I glanced down, and back to him. “My sweater?”

“You wore it the first time I heard you speak. You corrected professor Kwon when he’d written the wrong variable on the whiteboard. You beat me to it.”

My heart marched along at double-time. He remembered not only the event, but what I was wearing?

Luka appeared unfazed. “Tomorrow, I have to work.” He rubbed a hand along the faint scruff on his face. “I’ll have to leave the house by seven. There’ll be someone here though, until I’m back for lunch.”

I swallowed back my mounting irritation at missing my morning lecture. It wouldn’t do any good to lose control of my emotions around him, but I still said it with my teeth clenched firmly together. “And what would you have me do tomorrow? Since I won’t be at class?”