‘Thanks,’ she said with a smile on her face.
‘Don’t be so formal. You think I was going to let you travel alone so late, especially in a place like Delhi?’ He looked at her when he spoke and opened the door of his car to let her in.
‘So are you ready for the music competition? I hope we bring home the trophy this year,’ Yuvi said.
‘Yes. I know we will do it. We just need to give our best shot. It will be an important day for us.’
In the coming week, they had to give a live performance at a music festival and on the basis of that, the best band would win the trophy. Rajhans College wanted to win the trophy that year anyhow and they were banking on VAYU for it. It was cold outside and Yuvi had switched on the heater in the car. Once it got warm, Anamika removed her coat and kept it on the back seat. Yuvi turned to look at Anamika. She was wearing skin-fit denims and a red tube top. Her red highlights sparkled under the lights. Yuvi looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.
‘Why are you staring at me?’ asked Anamika.
Yuvi just smiled and said, ‘What happened between you and Anurag? Even though you didn’t mention anything to me, Vikrant told me everything.’
‘Yes, I just told him that it didn’t last long. Anyway, chuck it. It was anyhow not supposed to last that long,’ Anamika replied casually.
‘You really think so? Actually it lasted longer than I expected. I thought it will get over in a fortnight,’ Yuvi replied.
Yuvi realized he shouldn’t have said it but he breathed a sigh of relief when Anamika started laughing loudly.
‘That is also true. That’s a positive way of looking at things,’ she continued laughing.
They reached her locality after a few minutes and upon Anamika’s insistence, Yuvi stopped the car on the main road itself, a few feet away from her apartment.
Anamika took her coat and was about to get down when Yuvi said, ‘Anamika, remember I wanted to tell you something when you were going to Anurag’s house?’
Anamika nodded. Soft music played in the background. Anamika’s heart was pounding and her palms sweating even in the cold. She had been anxious since the day Yuvi had told her he wanted to say something. She thought the moment had come. She always felt Yuvi would never really make an attempt to share his life with her, maybe because they hadn’t spent time alone as she had with Vikrant. This was just the second time Yuvi had shown her how he felt.
‘You were going to tell me something,’ Anamika reminded him breaking the silence.
‘Nothing. It’s getting late. You should leave,’ Yuvi whispered.
Anamika just smiled and left. Yuvi waved at her and sped away. What did Yuvi want to say? She walked alone on the street towards her apartment. Thinking about her past, she cursed herself for being with Anurag. She kept thinking what the relationship meant to the both of them. Though she had a motive behind the relationship, she was a girl who craved for true love, for appreciation, and for someone to show her the right way. Someone who cared for her and understood her. Anurag was certainly not the one!
She kept walking on the empty street when she heard footsteps behind her. At this hour, normally there is no one walking around. She feared turning back. She kept walking and increased her speed. The footsteps were getting louder. She was sure there was someone following her. In a fraction of a second, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her heart skipped a beat. ‘Anamika. It’s me. I need to talk to you.’
The voice sounded familiar. She turned around and came face to face with her worst nightmare. It was Anurag!
Was he bloody following me for the whole day? Why is he here? Does he want to hurt me? Will he be violent once again?
‘Why are you here at this hour? Go away; I don’t want to talk to you,’ she shouted.
Anurag was hurt, broken and felt betrayed. Every playboy or Casanova needs that one girl in his life who can make him realize what true love is. For Anurag, that girl was Anamika.
‘I admit I made a mistake and crossed the boundary with you. I know it’s hard for you to forgive me. I insulted you and your self-respect. But I didn’t mean to hurt you. I am sorry yet again for causing you pain which was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I don’t know what you think about me, but don’t you agree that everyone has a past? I hope you listen and see it in my eyes. I am sorry Anamika. I apologize for my mistakes sincerely.’
He went on and on until Anamika interrupted him.
‘Look Anurag, Sanaya had told you everything, right? So why are you creating a scene all over again? I know you will get over it easily by dating some other chick who will allow you to do all those things that you wanted in a relationship. Come on, even you know that guys like you can never change.’
The more intimately you are involved with another person, the more difficult it becomes to say I’m sorry. Anurag was certainly involved with Anamika but his treatment was wrong. It is very easy in the heat of the battle to hurt your partner in a very sensitive place. But to repair those wounds is never easy. No wonder Anamika didn’t listen to any of his apologies or promises as they all sounded fake. Anurag tried to hug her, kiss her, and get hold of her in every possible way but that didn’t work. Anamika didn’t want to entertain him anymore and just walked into her apartment. Anurag’s ego and his love were shattered one more time. He couldn’t take it anymore. It was unbearable for him to get hurt repeatedly by a girl whom he wanted in his life. He texted Anamika before leaving:
‘You were the one who took my heart away. But never had I thought you would shred it to pieces. You could have just ripped it in half so that it would be easier to put it back together. But you tore it. Piece by piece, And now, only you can fix it. No one else!’
The next day in college, he kept following her wherever she went. It was so embarrassing for her that she finally screamed in anger and warned him to stay away. Anurag gave up after a long struggle. He tried every way to let her know his feelings but she didn’t give a fuck. But he was not the guy who was going to digest her insults with ease. He warned Anamika in front of everyone that he won’t let her live happily and would screw her life forever. Anurag was livid with anger.
‘Today you’ve shown me what a liar you are. I thought you were going to stay with me forever, but I was wrong. One day you will be sorry for what you have done. You thought I was going to keep crying like a dejected lover? Yes, I loved you but now you have not only hurt me but my self-respect, my feelings, and my love. You stabbed my heart with a knife, now I will make you suffer, babe. Every time I see your face, it will remind me of how you treated me. I can spread all kinds of rumours about you and spoil your life forever, but I won’t do that as you know better what you are. I will make you scream till it hurts. I will push you down and punch you till my knuckles bleed. Whatever I did was because I loved you and because I thought our relationship had reached the next phase. But you left me to die. What did you think? That you were going to make me cry? Bitch, now you will cry! I will tear you down piece by piece just like you tore my heart. You will regret your decision now. Your entire group will.’
He remembered the wonderful moments he had spent with Anamika, the smile which had allured him, those three words which she had said to him. Where had they gone wrong? Now ‘I love you’ had been replaced with ‘Fuck you asshole’.
Music Festival, Delhi
University 15th September, 2012
All relationships should come with a precautionary statement: ‘Handle with care’. Everything was a mess and things were getting complicated with each passing day. Anamika and Anurag were now back to square one but Anurag was plotting a scheme to take revenge for what she had done to him. Vikrant tried to strike a conversation with Sanaya a couple of times but failed. Yuvi was concentrating on his practice sessions for the upcoming event and told Vikrant and Anamika to do the same. The entire week went in rehearsing for the big event that was coming up. The music festival! VAYU was going to represent Rajhans College and winning the trophy in this event would be a matter of pride for not only VAYU but also for the entire college. This year the event looked bigger, better, and even more promising than the one before. The D day had finally arrived and all of them were ready to give their best knowing the intensity of the event. But none anticipated the disaster that was awaiting them. Just when everything seemed perfect, the mic stopped working and a cord of the electric guitar came apart! Yuvi kept blaming the sound technician for the bizarre set up. No matter how hard the trio tried, things never came back on track. The performance was called off by the judges and the crowd started booing them off. All their hopes were shattered as Yuvi and the other group members walked off the stage with their heads hung in shame. Anamika’s sour relationship with her boyfriend had cost them big time! It was probably going to be the last performance of their lives. Rajhans College had lost the competition and the trophy too. Yuvi didn’t bother to wait for the results and left with his girlfriend. Vikrant was speechless and didn’t know how to react while Anamika feared it was going to be the end of their band VAYU!
Broken Threads
Rajhans College, Delhi
17th September, 2012
W
hat do you call it when all you feel is pain and loneliness? When you are in your house but it doesn’t feel like home, when you look back in your life and every choice you made seems wrong, when your loved ones look at you and all you feel is shame, when you smile and laugh but you know it’s all fake, and when nothing makes you happy at all. Anamika felt exactly the same. She felt unheard, unseen, depressed, and weak.
‘Someone find me, I am scared. Please hold me until it all ends. I don’t want to be alone in the dark. Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light. Just hold me so I won’t be alone. Do you know what it feels like to be left behind? Losing everyone around you in such little time? I never thought I would cry over someone. I was such a carefree girl before. But now why do I feel as if I’m all alone, as if something is killing me?’
With a heavy heart, she went to college on Monday, the day after the finale performance. She felt as if everyone around her was looking at her and cursing her for what she had done. She wanted to talk to Yuvi and explain to him the entire scenario after apologizing. Yuvi was sitting with Vikrant in a vacant classroom. Anamika felt ashamed to face them and wanted to run away. She wanted her friends back. She went inside the classroom and stood in front of them. Vikrant told her that Yuvi was extremely upset over what had happened yesterday and wanted to be left alone for some time. But Anamika couldn’t take it anymore.
‘Guys, I am sorry. I never thought Anurag would spoil our show.
‘Look Anamika, I had warned you umpteen times that keep your love affairs private and don’t let it mess with our performance. But you didn’t listen to us. You had to mess with him and spoil everything. How can you even expect us to forgive you? I don’t know about Vikrant, but at least I won’t forgive you. Vikrant ran away for his true love but you spoiled the show for your own fun. You never wanted a serious relationship and still were roaming around with him. You knew how cheap Anurag is, why did you continue roaming with him? How cheap can you get? Now go and trap another guy. You will gain more popularity.’
‘How can you say that? I did not expect this from you. You mean to say I sleep around with guys to increase my popularity? I thought at least you would understand me. But I was wrong. I never knew you had so much of hatred inside you.’
‘Get lost. Don’t eat my brains. I beg you to go away right now,’ Yuvi screamed.
Anamika had expected at least her friends to understand her. She wanted to hug Yuvi and tell him that it was not her fault. She wanted Yuvi to stand by her and fight against Anurag. But nothing like that happened. Instead Yuvi blamed Anamika. Vikrant told her to leave and assured her not to worry as he would handle the situation. The only person who could convince Yuvi was Vikrant. Anamika left the classroom on Vikrant’s suggestion while he tried to calm him down.
A broken piece of thread can never be joined back without a knot. Anamika feared her relationship was headed in the same direction.