Soul Blaze (2 page)

Was this it? Was this finally a flashback to my missing
year? Though a sunset didn’t hold any particular clues to
where I’d been, there was also the swooping in my
stomach to accompany it. I’d been happy. Very happy.

And if I’d been happy, then that was okay. I hadn’t
been frightened, or angry, or scared.

I pressed my hand to my window, peering out at the
sky, praying for another insight into my absence. I had no
such luck. The sun sank beneath the horizon and the sky
bled into cobalt, the first stars beginning to wink in the
heavens.

My head was pounding furiously as I abandoned the
vacuuming and headed down stairs for dinner. Mum and I
ate in silence, and I neglected to tell her about my
flashback or my headache; there wasn’t much that could
be deduced from a sunset anyway.

The silence was stifling, and it was almost a relief to
dump my plate in the sink and head out to my car, despite
the cold. I’d dragged the vacuum cleaner down the stairs
with an apology and set about cleaning out the year’s
accumulation of dust and spider webs, ignoring my
headache, though it grew worse with the noise of the
vacuum cleaner. When I straightened up and banged my
head against the roof of the car, it was the last straw.

“Oh piss off!” I snapped angrily, massaging the top of
my head. I glanced up and saw Mrs Rogers standing in her
kitchen window. She hurried away when she saw me
looking, as though afraid I’d tell her to piss off too.

I climbed into the driver’s seat and rested my head
against the steering wheel. My car had always been my
companion, my chariot to freedom. I’d spent countless
afternoons in it, reading endless books and futilely
planning a future that didn’t take place in Ar Cena.

I wrapped my fingers around the wheel. Once upon a
time, this had felt familiar. Now the wheel just felt cold
and unusual. I fought the tears that threatened to spill
over.

Who the hell were these people, to take a year of my
life? Who did they think they were?

I didn’t know that there were people involved, but
there would have to be an outside influence. How else
would I have ended up on the river bank? Someone had
moved me there.

My knuckles turned white on the wheel. I’ll find them,
I decided. I’ll find them and demand answers.

My hand groped unconsciously for the keys, but I’d left
them inside. It didn’t matter anyway; after a year of
neglect, the battery would be completely dead.

I went to bed that night with too many thoughts
running through my head. I watched the clouds scud
across the night sky through my curtains, searching my
memory desperately for any recollection.

I couldn’t recall anything, and fell asleep more confused
than before, a tear on my cheek.

It felt strange to wake up the next morning and not
have to go anywhere. From what I could remember of my
previous life, I’d always had somewhere to go. Work,
school, the library.

I checked my clock – 11:27am. Darn. I didn’t mean to
sleep in, but I’d been awake until the early hours of the
morning.

I hurried downstairs, but Mum had already gone to
work. I found a brief note telling me to stay home (like I
could go anywhere with a dead car anyway) and that she’d
be home at five. That gave me most of the day by myself.

Though essentially grounded, I started the day off
responsibly enough by cleaning the rest of the house and
doing the laundry. After a night of wriggling around on
dusty sheets, I decided enough was enough and washed all
of the linen in the house. As I was hanging it on the line
in the bright sunshine, I spied our back fence, which was
falling down day by day. We’d never been in a hurry to fix
it, though, considering our back yard looked onto the
forest that covered the mountains.

I noticed a few boards that looked like they’d been
knocked loose, and approached them curiously. Three
boards had been knocked askew, one snapped completely.
It looked like someone had jumped over them in a hurry.

I set the boards as straight as I could, my mouth in a
tight line. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get this
fence replaced with a taller, sturdier build.

Once my bout of responsibility ended – albeit with a
much cleaner house – I decided to switch on my
PlayStation for the first time in a year. I was still playing
when Mum arrived home, and I realised too late that I
should’ve been making dinner.

“Sorry,” I said as she hung up her coat in the entrance
hall. “I lost track of time.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, but I thought I saw a
small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Not sure I want you back in the kitchen anyway,” she
said, marching up the stairs to change. “Thank you for
staying home today.”

I decided not to mention my inability to drive
anywhere and took the praise. While she was upstairs, I
shot outside and gathered in the laundry which was just
growing damp with the evening air. I folded it all dutifully
as Mum began to cook, thinking on the subject I wanted
to bring up at dinner. She wasn’t going to be happy, as I
knew she’d want me to go back to my job at the hospital,
but I’d made my decision.

I struck halfway through our meal of chicken and
potatoes.
“Mum,” I said, idly pushing potatoes around my plate.
“I want to go back and finish my schooling.”
She leant back in her chair and wiped her mouth on
her serviette. I waited nervously for her response.
“I’d prefer you to finish your traineeship,” she said
finally.
“I know. But I want to get a good TER score, and I can’t
do that without finishing.”
“Are you planning on university?”
I shrugged.
“Not sure quite yet. But I’d rather keep my options
open.”
She resumed eating, and I feared for a second that the
conversation was over.
“Alright,” she said after a little bit, and my heart leapt.
“I’ll enrol you for the new term.”

I grinned widely, and then remembered I wasn’t
supposed to like school. But I knew that the sooner I
settled back into the norm, the better. A small town like
Ar Cena was no good at handling big upsets like this.
Going back to school would settle me in faster than
anything else I could hope to achieve.

Despite what I remembered of school, when I went to
bed that night, it was with a hope that I might just be able
to do well enough to get myself out of this town, in a
manner that my mother approved of.

The next day ran along the same lines; I cleaned and
cooked dinner, whilst wasting time on video games during
the day. However, when Mum came home that night, she
did so carrying a heavy, bulky object.

“A new battery for your car,” she said, setting it down
on the shoe shelf. “You start school on Monday.”
I picked up the battery reverently. It meant the ability
to be independent again. My little car would live again.
I broke into a wide grin, which she saw. She sighed.
“I hope you’re not planning on running off again now
that I’ve given you that.”
My smile faded immediately.
“I was hoping you would start to believe me soon,” I
said quietly.
“I will when you can tell me what you were doing.”
“And I
told
you-”

“I know what you told me!” she stomped into the
kitchen to heat up the dinner I’d cooked. “But excuse me
if I find the notion that you ‘don’t remember’ anything
from the past year a little unbelievable!”

“Okay, first of all, the air quotes hurt,” I set the battery
back down and followed her into the kitchen. “And
second, I do remember something.”

“Oh yeah?” she challenged, leaning against the counter
as the microwave hummed quietly. “What might that be?”

“I remember… a sunset,” it sounded pathetic even to
me. “I mean… I remember a sunset over a forest, and it
was the most beautiful sunset I’d ever seen.”

I decided not to mention the swooping feeling in my
stomach.

“Hm, okay, well, places where the sun sets…” she
mused, pulling the plate from the microwave. “That
narrows it down, Rose.”

I rolled my eyes and left the kitchen before I snapped at
her. I was shaking, though I didn’t really blame her. I
knew she’d been hurt by my absence, and of all things, I
wanted to remember last year so I could stop some of that
hurt.

But what if, I thought as I dragged our laptop out to my
car. What if the truth is too fantastic for even me to
believe?

~Chapter Two~

Monday arrived sooner than I’d anticipated. I’d dug out
my backpack and had gone through my notes (though
they were few and far between), hoping that they hadn’t
changed the curriculum too much in the past year. I’d also
taken down my old battery to get it recycled, and reregistered my car.

I pulled on my white polo shirt and tied back my long
hair. It was as I was brushing my teeth that I noticed my
eyes had changed colour. Whereas they used to be a pretty
green that I liked, they’d for some reason morphed to a
pale blue. I made a face at myself in the mirror, and then
forgot all about it.

It was strange to be outside early in the morning. The
air was crisp, clean almost, and magpies still warbled
somewhat cheerfully despite the early hour. I climbed into
my car, managed a sleepy grin as it growled to life and
began the short drive to school.

I pulled into the car park, claiming my old spot again.
I’d noticed the hammering of butterflies in my stomach,
though as I parked I remembered that all of the kids in my
year would’ve graduated by now. I essentially had turned
over a new leaf, and I wasn’t going to stuff it up.

As I stepped into my English class, I couldn’t help
smiling at the stunned expression on Mr Burgess’ face as
he spotted me in the doorway.

“Miss Evermore,” he began. “I was starting to think
you’d given up on school life.”

“Very nearly, Mr B,” I said, sliding into a seat near the
front. “But I changed my mind. Missed your class too
much.”

He chuckled at that, like I’d meant him to. I liked Mr
Burgess; though he hassled me for assignments, he also
had a sense of humour and I respected him as a teacher
greatly.

As the lesson progressed, I found myself looking out the
window across from me, as though unconsciously
searching for something. Once I realised, I shook myself
from my reverie, and made myself tune back into what Mr
Burgess was saying.

“The book I want you to read over the new few weeks
is
Lookingfor Alibrandi
by Melina Marchetta. Head over
to the library before your next class; they’ve got enough
copies for all of you. I believe a lot of you will find it very
inspiring as it deals with,” his eyes flicked suddenly to me,
“a sense of identity. Finding yourself.”

I checked my dog eared copy of out the library and
decided to make a start on it during lunch. By the next
class, I was almost half way through, and made an
impulsive decision to start my report on it that night.

Though, I thought to myself as the bell rang, it’ll
probably kill Mr Burgess with shock, me handing an
assignment in so early.

The next few weeks were uneventful. I handed up
assignments before their due date, kept my head down,
and was generally succeeding in getting by. I was
averaging A’s in every subject, and every time Mum and I
sat down to dinner to talk about our day, I saw a little bit
of aloofness leave her eyes, love replacing it, and I knew
I’d made the right decision to go back to school.

~Chapter Three~

It had almost been a year since my mysterious return to
Ar Cena. In that time, my broken wrist had healed
without complications and I’d kept my head down as I
finished my final year at school. With exams coming up,
I’d been surprised to find myself studying, something I’d
previously avoided at all costs.

My missing year had all but been forgotten.

“You have to wear team colours,” Mum said, digging
through my dresser and purposely making herself late for
work. “Why don’t you have any green?”

“I do,” I said, shouldering her aside and pulling out my
green tank top. “But Mum, it’s so dorky; I’m twenty now,
remember? A lot of kids don’t dress in their team colours
anymore.”

“Pish,” she replied disparagingly. “You’re only young
once; put it on.”
I grumbled but pulled it on. The day was already warm,
the heat pressing against my window.

Today was our school’s annual Sport’s Day, where all
students took the day off from studying to compete against
one another. Whilst students like me, who preferred their
exercise mental, dreaded the day, there were a select few
who used the day to try to further themselves in a sport’s
career.

“Are you participating in any events?”
I made a rude noise.

“No. But attendance is compulsory, so I’m going to
watch my classmates run around and make fools of
themselves.”

“Oh, Rose,” my mother sighed, exasperated. “I know
you hate sport, but please promise to do at least one
event?”

Our gazes met in the mirror, and I sighed.

“Fine,” I said reluctantly. “If you want.”
“Don’t think you can pike out either,” she said, starting
to head out the door. “I want a ribbon or something.
Actual proof that you participated.”

Bah, she’d seen right through me.

“Alright,” I said. “They give out ribbons just for
participating, don’t they? I mean, I could just join in with
the school Chicken Dance, I don’t actually have to win
anything.”

“I’d prefer it if you did,” she replied, and then headed
down the stairs. “Now, school.”

I groaned but followed her out of the door and got into
my car. The day was definitely going to be hot. No hope of
the day being cancelled due to rain then.

The school was in definite Sport’s Day upswing when I
pulled into the student car park. Kids in red, green, yellow
and orange flooded through the car park, heading towards
the oval where all of the events were being held. I
shouldered my bag – and my doubts - and then began to
drag my feet in the general direction they were all
heading.