Soul Crossed (13 page)

I jump to my feet and drag Cam back away from his mother. He is leaning forward, face twisted with rage, and I am afraid he will strike back if I don’t intervene. He shrugs me off, but gains some composure.

“Cam, lets go outside for a little bit,” I suggest. Tommy Two barks happily at the idea and bounds to the beat-up screen door at the back of the kitchen.

“Yes, go talk some sense into him, Grace. Maybe he’ll listen to you.” Mrs. Frasier rises to clean up the mess on the floor, and I lead Cam outside where we can see the woods about a hundred yards away.

I get a chill looking there that has nothing to do with the cold. Cam is shirtless and barefoot, and his breath rises in steamy puffs before him, but he doesn’t seem to even notice. Tommy Two lays at my feet, resting his head on my shoes.

“He’s completely fixed,” Cam says, studying him.

“Yes. The wounds were superficial, lucky for TT here.” Of course they weren’t really, but how could I explain what I do?

“Even his coat looks glossy,” he says, shaking his head. “You really worked a miracle here.” I blush at the compliment.

“I think your mom even likes him.”

“You’re incredible, you know that?” he says. I blush again. He moves forward to pet Tommy Two, who fidgets but allows the contact. I’ve already told him he needs to behave. I’ve explained how important it is for Cam to have a friend, and as strange as it seems, I think he understood me.

Cam is smiling like a little boy, petting the dog. I kneel down beside him and tickle TT under the chin.

“Good boy,” I whisper. “Good boy.”

I watch from the roof as they pet the dog. I can’t believe how naïve she is. I bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud. The only thing keeping Cam from taking that thing out for target practice the moment she leaves is his pathetic dream of getting her in his bed. Probably not a good idea to kill her dog if you want her to sleep with you. But who knows? Maybe he’ll take it out, slit its throat, and tell her it ran away.

I wonder if she notices the way he’s been looking at her since our little chat last night. He’s like a starving lion. I doubt he can hold out much longer without making a move, no matter how insecure he is.

After rehearsal, I described to him in detail every move I’d make. It was easy to do—I’ve been picturing all these things in my head since I met her. I didn’t like telling him at first—it felt like sharing Grace. But I reminded myself that it’s the closest he’ll ever get to the real thing. I fed off his emotions. The jealousy. The lust. The fear. It drove me on, further than I probably should have gone, but he didn’t seem to think I’d overdone it. I’m not sure Cam knows what real boundaries are. That’s part of what makes him so dangerous.

I see the longing in his face. The way he licks his lips when he thinks she isn’t looking, like he’s trying to prepare himself for her kiss. I know she’s OK. She’s an Angel. He can’t hurt her. And no matter what I end up doing or not doing with her, I want to see her spurn his advance. I want to know she’ll turn him down. I want to know I have her heart.

The little prick deserves it, anyway. He’s a monster. He’s the fucking Antichrist. He needs a little pre-emptive punishment. A little humility.

Do it
, I will him.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Keira is next to me, her lips near my ear.

“Shh! Can’t you see I’m working here?” I breathe. I want to be alone for this.

“Aw. She brought him a sacrifice. How cute.”

“She doesn’t know it’s destined for death,” I say.

“Hmm. What exactly are we doing here?” she asks.

“I’m here to witness the beginning of the end,” I say. I hope she takes the hint.

“Looks like a puppy-love fest to me.”

“Look again,” I tell her. She leans over, bored, and studies the scene before us.

“Mmm. Lusting after the Angel? He can barely keep it in his pants,” she says, and I do believe she’s impressed.

“Last night I described to him in detail every naughty thing he’s ever imagined doing with her and some things he’s probably never even thought of.” It’s always a good idea to brag to your superiors.

“Nice. So what are we waiting for now?”

“Just watch,” I say, resigned to the idea that she’ll be here when it happens.

“It’s freezing out here,” Grace is saying. I think she’s just realized he doesn’t have on clothes. But she doesn’t realize she’s given him an opening.

“You’re cold?” he asks, sidling up to her and putting an arm around her shoulder. He’s got some muscle, but mostly he’s wiry and thin. I can’t imagine how he thinks that could be comforting when his skin is like ice. “I can warm you up.”

I see her tense. She stiffens, but he doesn’t notice. Not yet.

“Cam,” she says. She sounds gentle and uncertain.

“I was thinking we could try a mosque next time,” he says. He’s distracting her.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. We can find out where Fatmeh goes.”

“Grace, I meant what I said, you know. You are incredible.”

“Cam—”

Then his lips are on hers, and she’s frozen in horror. It’s written all over her face. I jerk back, wanting to jump down there and tear him limb from limb, but Keira places a hand on my arm, and I settle back down.

His hands grope at her, clumsily trying to feel her up, and she snaps out of it. She pushes him away with a bit too much force, and he’s on his butt on the cold, hard ground. The dog is growling at him, but she shushes it, and it sits obediently. Tears glisten behind her eyes, and he can’t even look up at her.

“I thought you cared about me,” he says, standing.

“Oh, Cam.” She’s dripping with sympathy. “I’m so sorry. I do care about you. I do. Just not like
that
.”

“I guess you just wanted to make fun of me with your friends.” He still can’t meet her eyes.

“Do you hear me laughing?” He looks up. His face is split between pain and hatred.

“Why won’t you love me?” he asks, nearly choking on the words. “I know what to do. I know how to make you happy.”

“Cam, you’re going to make someone very happy one of these days, but it just isn’t me. You’re my friend, Cam. It can’t be any more than that.”

“No one will ever want me. No one has ever wanted me.” He’s shaking now.

“You’re wrong, Cam. Everyone deserves love.”

“Even someone like me? Is that what you mean?” He’s striding forward, in her face, but she doesn’t flinch back. She stands firm.

“Especially you.” He draws a hand back but hesitates. His expression melts into sheer agony.

“I thought you were different. I thought. I th-thought I could t-t-trust you. I even st-st-started to like myself when I was around you.” She tries to put a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off like it burns.

“Cam. I…I’m so sorry.”

“Go,” he tells her, turning his back. “G-g-get out of h-h-here.”

“Sure. You need some time. I understand.”

“You don’t understand anything. Now g-g-go!”

“Wow,” says Keira, rolling onto her back to look at me. “That was way better than my soap operas. Thanks.”

My eyes are red from crying. I’ve really made a mess of things. I can’t bear that I’ve caused him so much pain. How could I be so cruel? How could I let it get this far? I have to get myself together. I’m expected to be onstage in only a few minutes. Cam is out there, dutifully running lights and sound. He’s really taken on this whole tech thing with a vengeance. According to Miss Adams, he’s worked wonders with the school’s ancient technology, like he’s destined to be a great engineer.

“Places!” Shelby is squealing with excitement, and Fatmeh’s face is filled with determination. They both look very elegant in their costumes. Shelby is Lady Montague, and Fatmeh is the nurse.

I do one final check in the dressing room mirror. My gown is white and gold with an empire waist. It is hard to believe how close Miss Adams has come to the robes of the Angels. But I cannot picture Ms. Alvarez wearing something quite so low-cut. Rather daring for a high school play, but Miss Adams has to relive her days of glory somehow.

I fluff my hair that has been teased and sprayed until I’m drowning in ringlets. Theater makeup makes my eyes look huge, and I hope the red won’t show beneath the lights. My lips are full and bright scarlet, which Shelby assures me is necessary to be seen from the back of the sure-to-be-filled auditorium.

I sneak a peek through the curtain, and Fatmeh chastises me for “breaking red.” “It’s bad luck!” she whispers. I smile to reassure her, and she turns to fuss with the boy doing props.

Frankly, I’m surprised that the house is full.

“They came to see us.”

I turn to find Josh standing behind me. His features are exaggerated by the makeup, but he doesn’t look silly. It only makes him more breathtaking. His eyes shine like sapphires beneath the bright lights, and his hair is so black it reflects blue. My body prickles with excitement as it always does when I am near him.

“Us?” I ask. He moves intoxicatingly close.

“They heard about our incredible chemistry,” he says.

“Curtain!” Shelby whispers, and we dash out of the way before being exposed to the entire auditorium.

Josh squeezes my hand without taking his eyes off the action on stage. I’m thrilled with the public display of affection, and I squeeze right back. His cue comes, and he lets his fingers linger in mine until the last possible moment. I wait in the wings, breathless. So many conflicting emotions are at play in my mind.

Anticipation, nerves, happiness, and the guilt is still eating away at me about Cam. I have got to find a way to fix things. I hear my cue, and I enter the dance.

My stomach drops out from under me when I see all the faces turn toward me. Then I see Josh staring at me, and its like I’m falling for him all over again. I smile and imagine the fourth wall between the audience and us. This is all about having fun, and despite the troubles I’m having, I have this one night to enjoy myself.

We meet. We quip. We kiss on stage. No one else matters, I am lost in his embrace.

“
Then have my lips trespass sweetly urg’d! Give me my sin again
,” says Josh. And we are kissing again. The audience breaths a collective sigh as we part.

Everything is perfect. We fly through to act five and the moment of our tragic deaths. Josh’s performance is stunning. It’s so easy to believe he is Romeo, so easy to believe he is in love with me. My part is simple. All I need to do is picture him lying dead on the ground, and my heart breaks in two. I lift the dagger from his belt and hold it to my breast. It’s a silly fake thing that will retract into the handle when I drive it toward my heart, but the effect should look good because of the packet of Karo syrup and red dye taped to my chest and ready to burst.

The first thing I notice is the dagger’s weight. I don’t remember it being so heavy. Nor do I remember the jewels encrusted on the handle. Shelby must have added that to make it look more realistic. She’s done a nice job, and I must remember to tell her I noticed.

“
Oh happy dagger, this is thy sheath!
” I close my eyes and plunge the blade toward my heart.

Excruciating pain slices through my chest. I release the handle the moment I feel it, but it has already pierced my flesh. I open my mouth to scream, but only a gurgle escapes my lips. I stumble forward onto my knees and collapse on top of Josh.

“Josh,” I whisper. Does he hear me? The world is spinning around me. This can’t be possible. I cannot die. I am already dead.

That is my last thought as I pass into darkness.

I lie on the floor, my eyes closed. At first, I think she’s lost the line.
There rust and let me die
. I will her to remember. Instead, she collapses on top of me. I hear whispers in the audience, things no normal human could hear.

So realistic
.

How do they do the blood?

A bit over the top
.

Then I feel it. Warm and wet creeping down my arm. I smell the coppery scent, and there is no mistaking it now. My eyes snap open, and I roll out from under her as gently as I’m able and turn her over in my arms. The dagger is still there, protruding from her chest like the arrow through the rabbit. Crimson liquid pours from the wound, creeping slowly across her ivory gown as though trying to claim her.

The audience is murmuring. The other actors glance nervously around. They realize something has gone wrong. But it’s all just buzzing in my ears.

I am up in a flash, Grace in my arms. I push past Shelby and run through the stage door and out into the night, stopping only when I know I’m in the shadow of darkness, deep in the woods that cradle the school. Overhead a million stars shine bright behind a silver dollar moon. In the dark I can clearly see the golden aura surrounding her and how it grows dimmer by the second.

“Keira!” I scream. I know she was in the audience tonight. I don’t care if anyone else hears me or not. I need her and I need her now. I cannot pray. No one will listen. But I can beg and plead and offer favors. Right now, I’d give anything.

“Keira!” I scream again.

“You don’t have to be so dramatic.” She is by my side, filing her nails, and I yank her down next to me by the wrist.

“How?” I ask. The tightness in my throat makes my words feel like they’re coming through a strainer.

“It’s a cursed blade. It’s been used on a virgin sacrifice.” She pulls her hand away and pouts at me, but I don’t have time for this now.

“I don’t understand. It had to be Cam. But how did he know?”

Grace begins to convulse on the grass. Blood starts to trickle from the corner of her mouth.

“I might have given it to him,” Keira says, moving beyond arms length. Smart girl. Rage rushes through my veins, and I move faster and farther than even she suspects I am able. I tackle her.

“Tell me how to stop it,” I growl. My hand is around her throat, and I am squeezing so hard I would have crushed any mortal windpipe.