Authors: Jeffrey Littorno
Louis chuckled. “No, I don’t think you’re missing anything, Joseph. The parable is pointing out that God loves and forgives even those who have transgressed against him.”
“I’m not exactly sure what ‘transgressed’ means. I’m guessin’ it’s the same as sayin’ the son spit in his father’s face.” Louis continued to chuckle and nod as Joey was talking. “So the reward for bein’ a good little sheep and followin’ all the rules is the exact same as goin’ out, breakin’ all the damn rules, and having a great fuckin’ time? Does that sound right to you, Thomas?”
I had to admit that Joey was making sense. I found myself nodding and smiling.
Joey continued his line of thought, “Hmmm, let’s see here, I can go out spend daddy’s money, get wasted and laid by a big-titted barmaid, or I can go sit in church listenin’ to some tight-ass preacher.” He put his hands out palm up and moved them up and down as if weighing the choices. He even scrunched his face up to look like he was giving the choice serious consideration. “You know what, Lou, I’m gonna take the first one!”
The car erupted in laughter. Anybody passing by right then would have thought that we were just a bunch of old friends sharing a joke. All I know is that it sure felt good to laugh. It had been a long time since I had laughed so much. Considering the tension which had been pushing and pulling on me for quite a while, a good laugh might have been the best relief. Finally, the laughter died away except for a few chuckles and sighs.
“Okay, so now that we have settled that biblical conundrum, I suppose we should plan just how we are going to approach the situation before us,” Stoaffer said brightly.
The short laughing binge had filled the car with a new dose of optimism. It was a beautiful day. We had the real chance of scoring some big money. And we seemed to be in the clear on everything that had happened in the grocery store. But even with the good vibes we were all feeling, there was a flash of impatience on Joey’s face at Stoaffer’s mention of planning.
“How ‘bout this for a plan? We just go find this bitch, grab yer stash, and hit the road.” Joey offered with a broad smile.
“That is certainly a fine plan, Joey!” Louis’s praise had Joey beaming again. “However, since I have not been here for a number of years, it might be better if we take it a little bit slower. Our chance of success will be greatly increased if we study the situation a bit before we taking action.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” I added even as I saw Joey’s eyes look downward like he was upset that his plan hadn’t been chosen.
Stoaffer also noticed Joey’s expression and said, “Of course, once we learn all we can about the situation, then we can put Joey’s plan into action.”
Joey’s eyes immediately lifted , and he smiled at Louis. “Thanks, Lou.”
Stoaffer smiled warmly at Joey’s words of gratitude. At that moment, a new image of the old man flashed into my mind. This may have been weirder than any other thoughts or pictures or questions I had before about him.
As Louis Stoaffer’s smile grew into a friendly laugh, I suddenly got a picture of him dressed in a red fur suit with white trim around the collar and cuffs. As incredible as it sounds, I had a picture in my head of the old man as Santa Claus. He was laughing in a friendly way making his cheeks turn red. An instant later, the picture changed to this Santa sitting down in a big chair and on his knee was Joey, only in a smaller version. I mean, his body was smaller, but his face was the same. Santa leaned forward until his mouth was very close to Joey’s ear and whispered something that I couldn’t hear. Whatever it was, it must have been damn funny, because the two of them began howling. The racket was really pretty irritating. Again the scene changed a little. The two were now sitting in the middle of an old stage with a mural of people sitting in an audience around them. Now instead of just a smaller version of himself, Joey looked like one of those ventriloquist dummies. He was wearing a little dark blue suit and was balanced on Stoaffer/Santa’s knee by a hand on his back. On either side of his mouth, there was the crack that let the jaw move up and down when the ventriloquist pulled the cord that ran down the dummy’s back.
“Good evening, ladies and germs!” Joey the dummy barked out creating an explosion of the obviously-recorded laughter used in crappy sitcoms.
Louis absolutely glowed with pride as he smiled at the dummy. “Well, Joey, why don’t you tell the nice people what we’re doing here in beautiful San Pietro?”
“Okeydokey, Lou!” Joey’s head swiveled quickly and comically from Stoaffer and then forward. As the dummy was talking, Stoaffer made a big show out of grabbing a glass of water off of a table and drinking. “Well, Lou, we’re here in San Pietro to find that lying bitch you married and murder the fucking cunt!”
At the end of Joey’s words, Stoaffer sprayed the water from his mouth as if surprised. The canned laughter came in huge waves.
In the next instant, I was back in the old Chevy on the street in San Pietro looking at the old man in the back seat who seemed to be talking to me.
“Thomas,” Joey said before punching me in the shoulder. “Wake up!”
“Shit, I guess, I must be more tired than I thought.” I replied slowly. “So where to, Louis?”
There was no reply for almost a minute. Joey and I grinned at each other as we watched the old man lost in thought or perhaps napping. It was hard to tell which. Just as I was about to repeat the question, he answered, “I think I know where we might be able to stay for a couple of days free of charge.”
“Yeah, I like the free of charge part!” Joey exclaimed. “Because we didn’t get much money from the grocery store and most of that we spent on gas to get here.”
“So what, Louis, have you got an old girlfriend stashed around here that can put us up for a couple of days?” I joked.
Joey and I giggled like school kids. If Stoaffer noticed anything funny in the question, he didn’t show it. Instead, he simply answered, “No, I never had a girlfriend outside of my marriage.” The sincerity in his voice squashed any further chuckles and made me feel like a jerk for making a joke. “Believe it or not, I was faithful to Theresa throughout our marriage.”
Silence took over for a little while until Stoaffer broke out, “Hell, no sense dwelling in the past, right?”
Always supportive, Joey answered, “That’s right, Lou! Fuck that lyin’ bitch!”
I couldn’t think of anything as clever as that, so I stayed quiet.
After a moment, Louis said, “Thank you both for your support I am a little embarrassed by my emotions. I hadn’t realized how much I still hurt from the betrayal. But that is not the primary focus right now. Right now, what we need is a place to get some sleep and then figure out where to go from there.”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard in a while.” I said. “So where to?”
The old man slowly responded, “Well, like I said before…” Joey and I both waited for the rest of the sentence, but it was a minute before Louis continued, “We should be able to find some abandoned houses in one of the developments.”
“And how can I get to one of these housing developments?”
Stoaffer looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Finally, a light of understanding came on in his eyes, and he smiled weakly. “Oh, yes, sorry. Just head straight down this street. In about a half mile, we’ll come to a stoplight. Turn left and there should be a housing development after a few miles.” The response appeared to take the last of the old man’s energy, and he fell back heavily on the seat as soon as he had finished speaking.
As I followed the directions and drove down the street about a half mile, it was almost possible to feel Joey’s concern for Stoaffer.
There were a surprising number of people out walking on a Wednesday morning. Most of them looked at us with smiles as we passed. I can’t say for sure if it was the time of day or the idea of so many people smiling at strangers, or the fact that I had been up all night, but whatever it was, something bothered me. Thoughts I had had earlier of this being a great place to live had been replaced by feelings of frustration, contempt, and general unease. The idea of people being so full of themselves they would smile at anybody who passed by struck me as arrogant. It may make any sense but it is how I felt. Believe it or not, I am really not a violent sort of person. To tell the truth, I have never been in a real fight before. Sure, there have been the sort of pushing matches that just about everybody gets into sometimes. But as far as throwing punches and drawing blood like in the movies, that’s not something I have ever been a part of. The only reason I am mentioning that fact is it shows how strange my thoughts were on that morning. It did not matter I had never been in a real fistfight. I had a real strong, almost uncontrollable urge to pull the car over, get out, and punch the first smiling face I saw. But instead of following my impulse, I simply followed Stoaffer’s directions.
I turned left at the stoplight, and we were out of the business area of the city and into a residential area of older two-story houses with small yards and nice new cars parked in front.
The silence in the car was suddenly broken as Stoaffer’s head popped over the front seat, and he excitedly said, “It really doesn’t look too much different from the last time I was here!”
I was really caught off guard by the old man’s sudden burst of energy. He had seemed so wiped out just minutes earlier. I must have jumped a foot off the seat, and the car swerved a bit. Luckily, there was nothing close to us. Joey did not even notice my reaction or the car’s. He was so happy to see Louis moving around again.
“Lou, welcome back! I hafta admit I was kinda worried ‘bout you!” Joey practically screamed with joy. For a minute, I thought he was going to give Stoaffer a big hug, but he didn’t go quite that far.
Louis smiled and then laughed. “Well, I thank you for your concern, Joey. But I am fine. Like Nietzsche said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.” He yanked the battered roll of Lifesavers from his pocket and quickly popped another into his mouth and started laughing. Joey quickly joined in.
Now, I am not what you would call a real well-educated person, but I had heard the expression about stuff that didn’t kill you making you stronger. Actually, I think I may have read it in a Spiderman comic. Of course, I had no idea who said it first. But regardless, nothing about the saying ever struck me as funny. The way Joey and Louis were going on, you would have thought somebody had told the best damn joke ever.
The two of them had their heads thrown back in a way that looked an awful lot like wolves howling at the moon. In fact, the sound coming out of them was not much different than the howls of wolves. Right then, I realized that whenever other people are laughing and you are not, the laughter seems forced and the people laughing look kind of stupid.
I didn’t make any comments on their stupid laughter. Instead, I just concentrated on driving and tried to ignore them. The well-kept, large, older, two-story houses gradually gave way to smaller, shabbier-looking houses, and then even shabbier-looking apartments. Just when it seemed the places would deteriorate into grass huts, a newer housing development popped up next to a vacant lot. I say
newer
, because it was probably about ten years old but had seen better days. In front of the lot was a faded sign on a white wooden post. “Future Home of San Pietro’s Newest Shopping Experience: Willow Creek Center!” I looked around but didn’t see any willows or a creek. I also didn’t see any sort of
shopping experience
.
“Another broken promise, another broken dream.” I thought to myself and then wondered how such a deep thought had found its way into my mind.
“Yes, it is sad to see a dream squashed, isn’t it?” The voice from the backseat had a twinge of sarcasm.
The mocking tone did not bother me as much as the idea of Stoaffer again looking right into my thoughts. I guess it might seem kind of hypocritical for a guy with a history of burglarizing and trespassing for a living to be bothered by someone else trespassing on him. But I didn’t give a damn whether it was hypocritical or not, that weird old fucker had no right to be inside my head!
My emotions must have shown on my face because Joey asked, “Thomas, you okay?”
The question brought me out of my head and back to the car, which was probably a very good place to be since I was driving. I looked over at Joey and answered, “Yeah, I’m fine just kinda tired.”
The answer seemed to make sense to him, and he nodded slowly. Everything was fine until I glanced into the rearview mirror and caught sight of Stoaffer’s grinning face. The rage I felt at having someone break into my thoughts was back in an instant.
“What the fuck are smiling at you old bastard?” I screamed.
My outburst caught both Joey and Stoaffer completely off guard. As I concentrated on the road, and I could feel their eyes staring at me. There was complete silence in the car for a long moment.
Finally, the quiet was broken by a calm, quiet voice from the backseat. “I offer my sincere apology for having offended you in some way. That was never my intention, Thomas.”
Joey was staring at me expecting me to say something back to Louis. I could almost feel his frustration grow with every second that passed without a response from me. Finally, he could restrain himself no longer and exclaimed, “He ‘pologized to you! Aren’t you gonna say nothin’?”
I started to make some smartass comment about Joey’s feelings for a homeless old drunk who we had met the day before and who was probably feeding us a line of total bullshit about this whole thing. I started to make that comment but stopped as soon as I caught sight of Joey’s face. The look of sincere concern made it impossible for me to continue. I will never be accused of being an especially sensitive guy, but there was no getting around the look on Joey’s face. I can not really explain why his expression was so powerful, so I am not going to try. But it was powerful enough to make me feel pretty stupid for thinking the old man in the backseat could read my mind.