Soul Protector (21 page)

A tiny bubble of hope formed as
I wondered if Dan had sent him. But after the usual small talk, it
turned out Tom was on a business visit. The Office had sent him
because they were recruiting PSPs and my name was listed as a
suitable candidate.

I didn’t waste any time telling
him, as I had told Dan before, I was a definite
no
. I didn’t
add that aside from the whole switching and recovering issue
scaring me half to death, the thought of reporting into the Office
and bumping into Dan from time to time would have been more than I
could bear.

Tom didn’t seem too
disappointed. He’d shrugged his shoulders, saying, “Okay, but never
say never.”

I wondered if that was their
motto. Dan had said the same line to me when I’d dismissed the idea
before.

Tom handed me the number for
the Office, highlighting which department I should contact if I
ever changed my mind.

He hadn’t even taken his jacket
off, and after it was clear I wasn’t interested in the job, he told
me had to be on his way.

He stood up, and I followed him
over to the door to say goodbye. I was about to open it and let him
out, when he turned and frowned.

“Listen, I’m sorry that you and
Dan split up. I was surprised to be honest. I thought you two were
smitten with each other.”

I swallowed hard. I’d hoped we
would be able to avoid speaking about him.

“You know, he played hard to
get, just like you,” said Tom.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about being a Soul
Protector. When Mum and Dad took us to the Office to get
registered, Dan got picked out as a potential PSP. But Dan being
Dan turned his back on it, didn’t want to know.”

I thought back to the
conversation we’d had in the restaurant, when Dan told me how he’d
hated the whole business to start with and just wanted to live a
normal life.

“So what made him change his
mind?”

“The incident at Uni…”

I pulled a puzzled face.

“He didn’t tell you?”

I shook my head.

Tom leant his arm against the
door jamb and his cheerful expression faded. “Dan was at Uni
following his original plan to become a pilot. He ended up
flat-sharing with two of the other guys on the course, Jerry and
Mitch.”

The name Mitch rang a bell. I
thought again to our night at the restaurant. Dan had brought his
name up but had been unwilling, or unable, to finish the
sentence.

“The three of them got a
reputation for studying hard and partying hard. I used to go up
North and stay with them for the weekend sometimes and it was
pretty wild. Mitch was the life and soul of the party, great fun to
hang out with, but he had a serious side too. His dad was a pilot
and he was on the course to follow in his footsteps. I got the
impression pleasing his dad was the
only
reason he was on
the course.

Tom stopped talking and drew in
a deep breath.

“Towards the end of the first
year, Mitch was struggling to keep up with the coursework. Dan and
Jerry tried to help him, but he just laughed it off and said he had
to cut down on the partying. He did as well. He stayed in more to
catch up on his studies.” Tom’s paused for a moment, and his jaw
muscle twitched the way Dan’s did when he was stressed. “To cut a
long story short, one night Dan and Jerry came home from a night
out and found Mitch hanging from the stairwell.”

“Oh no... Tom, that’s awful,” I
said, rubbing my arms as shivers went through me.

Tom was shaking his head.
“There was a note nearby. He said he knew he wouldn’t make it as a
pilot and was sorry he’d messed everything up.”

I tried to swallow down the
lump that was sitting in my throat.

“It came as a massive shock to
everyone. They knew he was stressed, but they hadn’t realised just
how much he was suffering. Obviously it was worse for Dan. He knew
he could have switched into him, and maybe helped. I don’t think
he’s ever really forgiven himself.”

I frowned as I thought of the
burden he’d been carrying.

“The only good thing to come
out of it all is it changed Dan’s priorities. For the first time he
realised how amazing the Soul Protector gift is.”

I stood shaking my head softly.
Tom snapped back into his usual character and ruffled my hair.

“So long Gracie Reynolds. It’d
be good if you came and joined us one day.”

He gave me another hug and
disappeared out the door.

~~~

CHAPTER 16

.

Lydia

.

I sat staring at my PC screen,
fingertips massaging my temples, when I saw Lydia’s name appear in
my inbox. It was the first time she’d contacted me in weeks. I
grabbed my mouse and clicked on her email.

Gracie, haven’t seen you for
ages. Hope everything is okay. Are you free to meet me at 12 for
coffee at café over road from you? Need some advice. Much love,
Lydia xx

I read it a couple of times
trying to work out if she’d forgiven me. I knew I had to meet her.
If I rejected this offer, it would take even longer for her to
thaw. I closed my eyes and sighed. I really hoped she had forgiven
me because I wasn’t in the mood for grovelling. I bashed out a
reply telling her I would see her at lunchtime.

~

I arrived at the café at five
minutes past twelve. I peered through the window and saw Lydia was
already inside. I took a deep breath, opened the door and made my
way towards her. She had her hair tied back in a long ponytail and
was wearing a fitted black jumper and black trousers. Her cream
coat was slung over the back of her chair. To a stranger she
probably looked fine, but I could tell she was uptight. Her legs
were crossed and her left foot was twitching, Lydia’ tell-tale
emotional leak.

I swallowed hard. “Hello, Lyd.”
I said, leaning forward to give her a hug. She turned her face
stiffly away.
Not completely forgiven just yet.

She turned back and looked me
up and down. My hands flew up to flick hair forward over my ears as
her gaze finally settled on my trousers.

“Are they new? They make you
look slimmer than normal.”

I nodded and smiled, wondering
if there was a compliment buried in there somewhere.

“So, how are things with you?”
I braved, waiting for the onslaught about my recent behaviour. She
said nothing, and turned to stare out the window. I clenched my jaw
and pulled a chair out, sinking down onto it.

“Lydia,” I said gently, “you
were the one who invited me here. Please don’t ignore me.”

She turned round and I noticed
her chin was wobbling.

“Actually, I’m not that good if
you must know.”

I put my hand out and rested it
on her arm. “Why, what’s wrong?”

She flicked her ponytail, and
took a deep breath.

“It’s my Phil. He’s ruining
everything. The wedding’s off.”

“Off? Oh no...”

She dabbed fingertips under her
eyes, careful not to disturb her mascara. “He’s been fighting with
me.”

“Has he hurt you?”

“No not that sort of fighting.
We’ve been arguing… a lot.”

I sagged with a relief.

“But he’s taking me for
granted, Gracie. He’s so bloody inconsiderate.” She flipped open
the clasp on her designer handbag, took a tissue out, and gave her
a nose a delicate blow.

I shook my head. “I can’t
believe it. He worships the ground you walk on. I’ve seen the way
he looks at you.”

She shrugged and dabbed under
her eyes again.

“Are you absolutely sure,
Lyd?”

“Yes, I’m positive.” Her mouth
was tight and I realised I’d come across insensitive.

“Okay, I’m sorry. Tell me then,
what’s he been doing?”

“Oh I don’t even know where to
start, there’s so much. He never puts his clothes in the wash. I
have to go round picking up his underwear after he’s just flung it
on the floor. If he makes a sandwich he leaves stuff out on the
work surface, all the crumbs and the buttery knife and everything.
Oh, and he never,
ever
, puts the lid back on the toothpaste.
I don’t know if he thinks it’s my duty to do it, or if he’s just
happy living in a pigsty, but I can’t carry on like this.”

I sat shaking my head in my
best sympathetic manner.

“When I remind him to do it
himself, he says I’m nagging and then we have a massive
argument.”

I couldn’t help thinking she
was making a mistake. I knew how she felt about him. She was so
used to guys adoring her she took them for granted and gave them
the run-around. With
MyPhil
it was different. They were
equal partners and she was completely genuine with him. And
whenever he entered a room, she lit up.

“I’m sure you can sort this
out. Have you tried talking it through calmly with him, you know,
when you’re not in the middle of an argument?”

“Oh, I’ve tried. I even gave
him an ultimatum. I told him I wasn’t his mother and if he didn’t
sort himself out, then we were through.”

“And what did he say to
that?”

“He laughed. He told me I was
making a big drama out of nothing, and I should’ve just asked him
to be more helpful around the apartment. But he doesn’t realise how
much it’s affecting me, Gracie.”

“So you told him the wedding is
off?”

“No not yet. He was supposed to
be making more of an effort, but this morning when I went into the
en-suite, he’d dumped his wet towel on the floor and his clothes in
a heap. I just can’t put up with it anymore.”

“So pick it up and dump it
round by his side of the bed or something. At least it will be out
of sight.”

“No, I’ve had enough. I’m
telling him tonight.”

“But I’m sure if he knew just
how much it was affecting you he’d try harder.”

She sat steely-eyed, shaking
her head. Then she sniffed and picked up her coffee. I looked at
her mug and realised I hadn’t ordered anything for myself, but it
seemed rude to interrupt her in the middle of her crisis.

“Lyd,” I said gently, “is there
something else… something you’re not telling me?”

She scowled at me, coffee cup
poised mid-air.

“Why do you say that? Does
there need to be something else?”

I shook my head. “It’s just you
two seem so
happy
together. I can’t believe you’re ready to
call it all off over a few stray socks.”

“It’s more than a few stray
socks, Gracie. Don’t try and trivialise it.”

I knew I was in dangerous
territory, but I just couldn’t watch her throw everything away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
trivialise anything. It’s just… you two seem made for each other.
I’m finding it hard to imagine one of you without the other.”

She stared into her cup and a
small frown appeared.

“Just don’t rush into anything,
Lyd. Getting your heart broken isn’t all it’s cracked up to
be.”

I thought she might have
softened when I said that, but instead her face crumpled and she
fought back fresh tears.

I leant across the table and
put my hand on top of hers. “Hey, you’ll make the right decision.
All I’m saying is take your time reaching it.”

She sighed and squeezed her
eyes shut. When she opened them again, she was wearing a resigned
expression.

“You’re right, Gracie,
as
usual
.”

“I am?”

She nodded. “His messy habits
are annoying, but that’s not the main reason I’m calling it
off.”

I sat silent, willing her to
carry on.

She took a deep breath. “I’m
worried he might be starting to go off me.”

My eyes widened. “Why would you
think that?”

She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t he?
Everyone else does?”

I opened my mouth to protest,
but she interrupted.

“Don’t try and put your
positive spin on it, Gracie. It’s the truth. Girls don’t like me,
and boys only like the
look
of me.”

I stared at her in disbelief.
“Where on earth has this come from? Of
course
girls like
you. What about me and Kerry, we’re girls, we count don’t we?”

“Well, you’re the only two
then. But even you don’t like me as much as you like Kerry, do
you?”

“What? Lydia, it’s not a
competition. I think the world of you.”

“Anyway, you’re too nice for
your own good, Gracie Reynolds. I bring out the bitchy side in most
girls.”

I tried to lighten the mood.
“Well that’s what you get for being beautiful. All the other girls
are just jealous.”

Normally she would have lapped
up a sentence like that, but she didn’t even acknowledge it.

“You wouldn’t understand,
Gracie. You’ve had it so easy. Everyone loves you.”

I felt my jaw dropping.

“It’s true. You bring out the
best in people. They warm to you. Somehow I just bring out the
worst in everyone. I try really hard to make them like me, but it
doesn’t work. I’m always the one left on the outside.”

And Dan thought I was good at
recognising vulnerable people…

“Come on, Lyd, ever since I’ve
known you there’s always been a big gang of people wanting to hang
round with you.”

“Yeah, well that was just the
boys. And they were only interested in one thing.”

“But what about your friends
from work; the ones who came to your birthday meal when your Phil
proposed?”

“They only came because they
were
both
invited. Bet you didn’t see them talking to me
much, did you?”

I squeezed her hand. “Oh Lydia,
you know I’ll always be here for you, don’t you? You really need to
open up more, so I know when you’re having a tough time.”

She looked at me and forced a
smile. “Yeah, well you’re one to talk.”

“So,” I said, ignoring her.
“Let me get this straight. The real reason you’re breaking up with
Phil is because you’re worried he
might
go off you?”