Soul Relenter (Soul Saga #3) (6 page)

Accacia realized she wasn’t comforting her life partner at all—she was worrying him further. She returned to him and crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Zyle buried his face in her chest and felt his body relax at her embrace. She always made him feel better.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “I love you.” Accacia didn’t know what else to say. She knew nothing could erase the past.

He pulled away from her. “I love you, too.”

She stared at him for a moment and kissed his face, trailing her lips from his eyes to his mouth. She massaged his hair with her fingertips.

“You forgive me?” he asked.

“Yes.” She kissed him. “Of course I do.”

Zyle breathed a sigh of relief. “As long as you do
, I can go on.”

Accacia smiled at him. She leaned back and stared at him, rubbing his che
st with her hands. She could feel the muscles of his pectorals under his shirt and the muscles of his stomach. He retuned her gaze with a hungry look. “Anything else you want to know? I want to go into the bedroom soon.”

Accacia thought for a moment. There were
a few answers she wanted. “How many women have you slept with?”

Zyle looked uncomfortable. The heat in his gaze evapor
ated and he looked away, staring at anything but her. “I want you to remember something, Accacia. I’m four-hundred and twenty-eight—so I’ve been around a long time.”

Accacia turned his face toward
her. “You don’t have to answer my question. It really doesn’t matter if you do.”

Zyle sighed and met her gaze. “I’ll give you an approximation—seventy women.”

Accacia’s eyes widened. “Wow.”

Zyle closed his eyes.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“What does?”

“Why you’re so experienced,” she said. “That is a lot of partners.”

“Do you think less of me?”

Accacia smiled at him. “What do you think?”

Zyle sighed. “Thank the gods.” Zyle grabbed her hips with
his palms. “Can I ask you the same question? How many men have you bedded besides me?”

“Two.”

“I can work with that.”

“Yes, it’
s a lot easier to manage than
seventy
.”

Zyle blushed at her words
, and her heart fluttered like it always did when she stared at him. He was so handsome it hurt. The question was out of her mouth before she could stop herself. “When did you fall in love with me?”

Zyle cupped her face and ran his hands through her hair, loving the feel of the soft strands between his fingertips. “I don’t know if I could answer that accurately—I want to say the first time I laid eyes on you, but obviously that isn’t so. I can’t tell you when—I’ve always loved you. That’s the most I can say.”

“When did you know I was your soul mate?”

“That I have a definitive answer to. It was when Koku brought Pia to you and she asked to be your companion. That was the moment I knew we were life partners—it was also the moment I knew I was destined for you.” Zyle kissed her lips and
lingered on her mouth for a moment. He pulled away. “When did you know you loved me?”

Accacia looked away. “When I told you I had a miscarriage.”

Zyle stared at her. “That’s an interesting moment. I would have thought that was a painful time. We barely knew each other.”

“I know.” She returned her gaze to him. “I didn’t understand why I told you that. I never even told Aleco about it. I was attracted to you and felt innately comfortable around you—I knew I felt something special for you.”

Zyle smiled. He enjoyed knowing she had confided a secret to him that she never revealed to Aleco. He finally felt a connection to her and her past, one that Aleco wasn’t a part of. “When did you know I was your soul mate?”

“
Laura told me—well, she led me to the realization. It dawned on me in the moment. I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out.”

“I know why,” he said. “You were still in love with Aleco.”

Accacia looked away. She didn’t understand why he used the past tense. She knew better than to correct him. She already told Zyle her feelings would never change.

There was something plaguing her mind that she had never discussed with Zyle because the
truth was too painful to bear. “Zyle—I should have told you this sooner and I’m sorry I waited so long.” Zyle looked at her with fear in his eyes. He had no idea what she was going to reveal to him. He hoped it wasn’t about Aleco. “I think I’m barren. I don’t think it’s possible for me to have children. You and I—we’ve been—together for a long time and I’ve never conceived a child.”

Zyle looked at her with a sadden
ed expression. “I should have told you this sooner. Asquithians reproduce by a conscious thought. I won’t implant my seed within you until I decide to—it has nothing to do with your ability to conceive.” Zyle saw her breathe a sigh of relief. “I don’t think you’re barren, Accacia.”

“I fear that I might be.”

“How far along were you with Aleco’s child before it perished?”

Accacia shook her head. “Alec
o wasn’t the father—it was the duke. And not that long. When Drake discovered I was with child, he ordered the midwives to cut it out of me. Due to the trauma of the surgery, I doubt my body could handle a baby.”

Zyle pushed Accacia off
his lap and walked across the room. He held his hands over his face and his body shook with anger. Accacia stayed on the couch and didn’t move—he had never acted this way before. Suddenly, Zyle upturned the kitchen table and threw it across the room where it smashed against the wall. He stared at the splintered pieces in silence. Accacia wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. She knew he was angry that she couldn’t carry his child—she should have told him this beforehand.

He came bac
k to the couch. “I’m sorry I frightened you.”

“I’m sorry I can’t give you a baby.” She felt the tears behind her eyes.

Zyle cradled her into his arms. “That isn’t why I’m upset, Accacia—I’m angry about what the duke did to you. It is completely unacceptable. Now I understand why you never discussed that aspect of your past—I don’t want to know about it. Please don’t tell me.”

“You aren’t mad at me?”

Zyle met her gaze. “Yes, I would love to have children, Accacia, but if you can’t give them to me that’s fine as well. As long as I have you, I need nothing more.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Zyle kissed her. “Don’t be.” He rubbed her back and she calmed down. “You should feel sorry for Drake—I’m going to slice that man’s throat.”

Accacia smiled
. “Get in line.”

Zyle laughed.

“I don’t want to discuss this anymore.”

Zyle nodded. “What would
you like to discuss?”

Accacia leaned in and kissed his neck. “I believe I
have a very large debt to pay.”

Zyle turned his neck, giving her more exposure to his skin, and he groaned at her touch. “Yes,” he said as he grabbed her hand and place
d it over his groin. “It’s very large.”

Canu

6

Zyle had their packs prepared for the journey before Accacia woke up. He stowed away their lunches and watersk
ins, along with a blanket to lay on under the trees. Koku and Pia flew through the window and chirped loudly, excited about their upcoming adventure. Zyle hated to be the bearer of bad news. He told them they weren’t coming. Koku and Pia clicked their beaks at him with fury then flew out the window, furious that they weren’t invited. They were so loud that they woke up Accacia.

The q
ueen rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed. She looked out the window and saw the sunrise through the cluster of trees. She felt exhausted. Zyle had only let her sleep for a few hours. The rest of the time he was having his way with her.

Zyle walked into the bedroom and kissed her. “I’m sorry that tho
se two woke you. They were quite upset when I told them they were purposely disinvited.”

Accacia’s face fell. “Why aren’t they coming along?”

“I want it just to be us.” He held her in his arms and kissed her cheek. “Get dressed. We need to get moving.”

Accacia yawned. “Okay.” She rose from the bed and dressed herself.

The
y left Canu and headed toward the ocean. Zyle led her through a maze in the mountains until they reached a secluded beach. The water was a light blue and clear, and there weren’t rocks covering the sand. Accacia adored the sight. She dropped her pack and ran to the water, getting her toes wet and the calves of her legs.

Zyle laid the blanket on the beach and sat down, watching her play in the water. He saw her roll up her pant legs so she could
move further in and he laughed at her. “Just take off your clothes, Accacia.”

She turned around and gave him a frightened look. Her eyes looked around the landscape
, checking the scenery. “We are outside. What if someone sees me?”

Zyle laughed again. “No one is going to see
you other than me—there’s no one here.” Zyle took off his shirt and laid back, proving that he wasn’t frightened of being spotted.

Accacia watched him and followed his example. She removed her clot
hes and stood in her undergarments. Zyle watched her inch closer into the ocean and saw her nipples harden in the cold water. He rose to his feet and followed her into the ocean, removing all his clothes before walking into the waves. She saw him approach and she swam away with a smile on her face. He chased her through the water until he grabbed her leg and pulled her to him. She didn’t fight his hold and quickly wrapped her legs around his waist while she kissed him passionately. He pushed himself within her and made love to her in the ocean, rocking her body along with the moving waves of the sea.

They hiked high into the mountains until they reached the very top, at Accacia insistence, and they spent the afternoon at the edge of the rise, gazing at the rest of the island. She didn’t realize how small it was until she saw it all in its entirety. The Continent was much larger than Suaden.

The
y sat on the hill until the sun began to sink below the horizon. Zyle insisted that they head back, not wanting Accacia to travel too long in the dark. She still hadn’t adopted their night sight ability, and he didn’t want her to trip on a rock and fall to her death. Accacia didn’t want to leave. She loved it up there.

Zyle and Accacia headed back to Canu
, and she stared at the landscape of Suaden one last time, wanting to store it forever in her memory. It was such a beautiful place. She didn’t want to leave it.

Accac
ia felt innately home on Suaden. She felt like she belonged on the land and with its people. She had assumed she would only be miserable here, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Now she had a family who loved her, Laura and Pia, and she had a mate to share eternity with, Zyle. Her heart squeezed in her chest when she thought about returning to the Continent—the slaves, the duke, the freezing winters, and Aleco—she feared Aleco most of all. She didn’t know how she was going to tell him that she moved on—that she was happy with someone else. Zyle was her soul mate—surely, he would understand that.

Accacia’s heart fell
further with every step they took into the city. She knew their day of bliss was over. The couple walked back into their eave and Zyle prepared dinner while Accacia sat on the couch, facing the window. Zyle had to slice the fruit on the counter because he destroyed the kitchen table. She didn’t know what they were going to eat on.

Zy
le walked into the sitting room placed their tea on the coffee table along with the banana bread he prepared. She enjoyed the lack of gender roles in their society. The women weren’t restricted to the kitchen and men weren’t the only ones allowed into battle.

Zyle spotted her crestfallen face. “Tell me.”

Accacia flinched at his observation. He always seemed to know when something was plaguing her mind. She knew her feelings must have been profound if Zyle recognized them with his sensitivity. “I would rather not say.”

Zyle felt alarmed. It was the first time Accacia ever refrained from telling him her thoughts. “Did I do something?”

She reached over and patted his arm. “No, of course not,” she said. “I had a wonderful time today.”

Zyle left the food untouched. “I don’t understand. Why won’t you tell me
, then? You confide everything to me.”

Accacia sighed. “I was thinking about Aleco.”

Zyle nodded. “I see.”

“You told me I can talk to you
about anything and I know that’s true. But you can’t lie to me, Zyle. I know it bothers you when I discuss him.” She grabbed his hand. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Zyle looked
at her. “I already told you I want to know your thoughts—even if they upset me. I’m here for you, Accacia. The context of your worry is irrelevant.” Accacia remained silent at his words. She didn’t touch her food or look at him. “Accacia, when you discovered we were life partners, you told me you loved
him
, not me.” Accacia closed her eyes at his words, feeling the sting. “If I can handle that, then surely I can handle this. I wish I could be as objective as you are. When I discuss Cassandra you are completely impartial and understanding, and I appreciate it and I want to reciprocate that confidence. Please tell me, Accacia. I am your life partner. Your concerns are my concerns.”