Soulmates (19 page)

On Saturday night, Violet Zapelli was home alone, watching an old movie on TV, eating ice cream right out of the carton, drenched in self-pity. Cassandra’s wedding was a huge circus. Although Violet was included in the ceremony, it didn’t help her self-esteem and she felt fat, ugly and unappreciated. At the highpoint of the reception, just before they cut the cake, she’d had enough and went to find her sister to say goodbye.

“I’ve got to get out of here,” she said to Debbie.

“That makes two of us, but I promised Mom I’d help get the gifts out to the van.”

“Tell her I left when you see her. Tell her I said goodbye and to have fun in Aruba.”

“Vi, are you okay? You look like hell,” Debbie said concerned. “Have a cup of coffee first.”

“I didn’t even have a glass of champagne,” Violet replied.

“Well, maybe you should,” Debbie said. “Don’t leave yet. Have some cake and coffee and things won’t look so bleak.”

“No, I think I should go. I’m worried about Dad, anyway.” So she left the hot and muggy reception hall, the cool air of the evening refreshing and revitalizing as she went to the car. The plan was to stop at the grocery store in her wedding finery and pick up ice cream and all the fixings to make John a sundae. Her mouth watered as she walked the snack aisle, putting chocolate syrup, peanuts, sprinkles, marshmallow cream and maraschino cherries into her basket. A big bag of ridged potato chips and onion dip opened up in the car to devour, soothed her on the trip home, even if she did drip sour cream down the front of her silk suit.

But when she got there, her father wasn’t home. Putting the ice cream in the freezer, Violet cursed, got back into her car and drove to the beach, to Sea View Drive. Parked in Pam Smith’s driveway was his construction truck, unfortunately looking like it belonged now that he’d installed a vulgar fountain in her yard. A driver was helping a very familiar looking woman get out of the limo just as Violet passed by. What was going on at Pam Smith’s house? It appeared there were celebrations all over town that Violet wasn’t part of. Dejected, she went back to the house and got out of the awful suit and shoes and into the rattiest pair of sweat pants and t-shirt she owned.

Well into the half gallon of ice cream with all the accompaniments, she heard her phone ring and debated ignoring it but gave in when she saw it was John.

“Violet, it’s your father,” he said softly. “Can you hear me?”

“Where are you that you can’t talk?” she asked, knowing full well where he was.

“I’m at Pam Smith’s. I met someone you went to Marymount with tonight.” For no reason, Violet’s heart skipped a beat and then started banging.

“Who?” she asked, confused. Whom would Pam know that went to Marymount when she did?

“A Sandra Benson,” he whispered. “Tall, dark, model pretty.”
Oh shit, the woman in the limo,
Violet thought.
I should have known.

“Oh, that’s such a coincidence,” Violet said. “Is she still pretty? Well, of course she is.”
What else is new?

“She had something interesting to tell me, Violet. She told me you married some guy at spring break your senior year. I told her she was full of shit in so many words, but now I’m starting to get nervous because I remembered a fight your mother and I had about you the summer after graduation. A fight because you were moving in with a
friend
instead of coming home.”

“Dad, why don’t you come home and I’ll tell you the story. It’s been so long I forgot all about it, truly. It’s no big deal and I’m
not
married now.”

“Were you? Did you?”

“Yes, I went on spring break and got married. I told Mom because I needed the money to have it annulled and we didn’t want to bother you. Look how pathetic this is! I’m almost thirty and you’re upset about something that happened eight years ago.”

“I’m only upset because this wisenheimer just told me you were married. ‘How’s Violet’s husband? What’s his name? Todd? How’s Todd?’ Who the hell was Todd?” Violet couldn’t help herself, first she gave out a little laugh, a howl really, but then she started to cry.
Who the hell
was
Todd?
Only someone she thought she loved and lost her virginity to, whom she found out quickly, didn’t love her at all.

“It was a mistake, Vi,” Todd had said. “We need to get it annulled right away.” She remembered the humiliation. She almost didn’t make it through graduation.

“If you screw up this opportunity, you’ll regret it!” her mother said. “You’re the oldest! Finish what you started. Be a role model!”
Some role model
, she thought.

“Dad, go back to your friends and relax if you aren’t coming home. It’s no big deal. I feel like crap now because you’re disappointed in me. I had a shit time at Mom’s circus, er wedding, and now you’re mad at me. I can’t win.”

“I’m not mad at all,” John said. “Shocked, yes. I could kill your mother for keeping it from me. When’s she coming back from her honeymoon so I can tell her off?” They started laughing, the idea that he would tell her off amusing.
No one
told Cassandra Zapelli off.

“I love you, Dad. I bought ice cream to make you a sundae and now I’m eating the entire thing myself.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay, Dad. Say hi to, what’s her name?”

“Sandra. Sandra Benson.”

“Still not married?”

“She’s the one with the son’s baby,” he hissed into the phone.

“NO WAY!”

“I’ll see you later.” Saying goodbye, John went back to the dining room. They were waiting for him, having heard most of the conversation.

“Well, you were right. She married this turkey over break then had it annulled. Evidently my ex helped her with the cost and legal garbage without thinking I needed to know.”

“It was very considerate of her, if you ask me,” Pam said. “Sounds like she was trying to protect you from information you didn’t need. You’ve done just fine not knowing all these years.”

“Thank you, Pam, for being the optimist.” They laughed around the table, keeping it light. Sandra used decorum for once, not mentioning Violet’s name again. Pam wondered if John worried about Violet because she was alone at thirty, overweight, living at home. Thinking of Sandra, who was also alone at thirty and lived in a house she didn’t own. Except for the weight issue and baby Brent, there wasn’t much difference in the two women. Pushing away from the table, Sandra started the exodus.

“I hate to break this up, but my son needs to go to sleep and I’m about dead myself. John, I apologize again for upsetting you. Pam, you too, please forgive me. Val, let’s go up.” She got Brent out of his high chair and they headed for the stairs.

Pam reached out and placed a hand on John’s arm. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He nodded his head toward the veranda. They walked out together, the peace of the night enveloping them both.

“It’s a small world,” he said, pulling her down beside him. “She’s your daughter-in-law?”

“No. Oh God, how do I explain Sandra to you? I’ll keep it simple for now. She had a
one-night stand
I believe they call it, with my son. He was murdered later that night, so he never knew she was pregnant.” John had taken her hand.

“I’m so sorry. How horrible for you to have lost your son.”

“Yes, it’s the worst thing that a person can experience. I often wonder how I’ve gotten through it.”

“It’s very kind of you to acknowledge the girl.” John was watching Pam, the expression on her face one he hadn’t seen before. She was determined to keep their relationship simple for as long as possible. Closing her eyes, she put her head back on the couch.

“This is not how I wanted our first weekend together to play out,” she said drowsily, not responding to his comment about Sandra. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he replied, looking out to sea. There was enough moonlight to see beyond the black void that was the ocean, the stars bright in the sky. “Family drama is my middle name. Can I tell you about my children?”

“Yes, I’d like that very much,” she answered, glad for the change of subject.

“Violet’s the oldest. She’s very smart, educated, kindhearted, and now as you have discovered, no common sense. None.

“Then there’s Billy. I’m worried about Billy. But not tonight.” John turned to her and smiled.

“Why are you worried? Maybe talking about it will help.”

“Put it this way, Pam. If you ever meet him, hide your checkbook. He’s a schemer and a hustler. My wife’s family provided that genetic material.”

“How old is he?

“Old enough to know better. Twenty-seven. He’s been like it since he was twelve.” John shifted on the couch, putting his arm around Pam again.

“Then there’s Debbie, married. John Jr. is away at college. Far away.”

“Where?” Pam asked. “Lisa went to Oahu. It can’t be much further than that.”

“Oh, it is. He’s in Melbourne. I don’t think you can get much further away.”

“How often does he come home?”

“Never. We’ve bought him tickets, etcetera, but he never uses them. He’s there for good. Cassandra was broken hearted, to tell the truth. I think his absence made the things that were wrong in our marriage unbearable for her.”

“Do you feel like talking about it?” Pam felt she’d reached a new level of awareness. Tonight wasn’t about her. It was about John. Other people had pain and anguish, unhappy relationships, children who disappointed and mistakes they regretted making, not just her. Allowing him to talk would help them get to know each other better. She barely knew Jason’s children except that Aaron was a manipulative drug addict and Jane would never allow anyone to take her mother’s place.

“I never have,” he replied. “I’m not a guy who has friends. My life revolved around my wife and family. So that’s great, until the wife doesn’t want it anymore. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

Pam took his hand and sighed. “I do. I want to know everything about you. Let’s not keep anything from each other.”

“Oh boy, that might be tough. I have some raunchy habits you might not approve of.”

“Like what?” she said, laughing.

“Well, I read in the bathroom.”

“So what! Everyone does,” Pam said, giggling. “That was so
not
what I was expecting to hear.”

“I like to eat popcorn from my own bowl while watching TV. I watch a
lot
of TV.”

“Okay, I can live with that. I haven’t had one on in a while, but that’s not a big deal, is it?” She was thinking TV watching equaled a man being home. A man who sat and watched TV wasn’t out with his girlfriends. “I’ll buy a new TV if that will make you happy.”

“Ha! You are very sweet. I have several I can bring here if necessary.”

“What else?”

“I don’t eat vegetables unless they’re cooked into mush. No
fresh and crispy
for me.”

“So far, it’s all pretty benign.” He looked at her, searching her eyes.

“I’m boring, simple, conservative, have a gun collection and like to hunt. Somehow I don’t think that will fit in well with your world.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said indignantly. “What’s my world?”

“The country club, tennis, the opera, plays in the city,” he listed all the things he’d read about her husband, assuming she was involved as well.

“That’s not me, John. That was Jack. Do you know what I do?” He shook his head. “I go to the gym every day. My hairdresser twice a week and then the library, where I volunteer on Wednesdays. Every morning I have my coffee right here on the veranda, and then I take a grocery bag and walk for two hours on the beach, collecting trash and hopefully, beach glass. The rest of the time, I’m at the mercy of my daughter and her children or my mother and mother-in-law. I haven’t done anything social outside of flea marketing with my former fiancé for a long, long time. Sandra was a close friend until, well until she wasn’t.”

“Did you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. And it’s not because I don’t want you to know what happened. I’ve already revealed to you how I met her. It’s just that its so over. I hate to dredge it up again.”

“I know what you mean. I could tell you more about Cassandra and me, but I end up hating the sound of my own voice. She didn’t love me, so she left. It was just a coincidence that another man was waiting for her.

“I take responsibility for what happened to us. It’s not that she was unfaithful, at least that I know of. We were both family people. I think she felt taken for granted. When she left, I was floored and that just proves it.”

“How’d it happen?” Pam asked gently.

“I came home from work and her things were piled in the hallway. For as long as I could remember, every night when I arrived there would be dinner waiting for me. The first thing I thought of that night was
what am I going to have for dinner when she leaves?
”

“Ew, that’s brutal.”

“I know. She came out of the kitchen pulling gloves on. It was November, but already cold enough for winter clothes. ‘What’s going on?’ I asked her.

“‘I’m leaving. Don’t have a fit because Audrey is here, upstairs with Billy and you’ll embarrass him.’ Billy was still home then. ‘Here’s my house keys. I’m only taking my clothes and few books. I’d like to have some of the pieces in the china cabinet later after I get settled.’ I was speechless. We never even fought, but now I realize we probably should have. She should have screamed at me until she was hoarse to get me to see what I was doing to her.”

“I asked her where she was going, and she said she’d taken a small apartment outside of town. We were struggling financially and that made me angry, it was going to make things worse. But because of Billy and his friend, Audrey being in the house, I didn’t pick a fight with her.

“Later, I discovered that she’d been saving money for years, hoarding it for the time that the kids were gone and she could escape. She would have left sooner but when Billy moved back home, she felt trapped. I didn’t have a clue, either.” John stared ahead, his eyes adjusted to the light. A couple walked on the beach close to the water’s edge and he saw the silver of the woman’s hair reflecting the light from the moon.